I love morning rituals. I like how they help me to structure and organize my life, and how they are an anchor I can always go back to, whatever life throws at me.

Over the years, I have found that what you do early in the morning, during that tiny moment where you wake up and become aware of your existence, can make or break your entire day. So, to me, having a good morning routine is essential to being happy.

When I first started to work on loving myself more, I started to add more elements of self-love into my morning routine. Where the routine was rather practical and pragmatic at first – writing down top to-dos, reading out my weekly intentions, and focusing on my vision board – once I started working on love and compassion, I needed more love and compassion in the morning. By engaging in those goals, I not only set myself up for a productive and successful day, but a happy one and loving one, too.

So, here is my morning routine of awakening into self-love:

Step 1: Upon waking up, have a positive and loving thought

Every day, when I wake up, once I’m aware of who and where I am, I bring a loving thought into my mind. This can be anything. In my case, I’ll usually think about the love I have for my husband or my friends, the happiness that I get from my dog Flex, or the delicious coffee that I’ll be tasting soon. Whatever it is for you, make sure it is something that you love and look forward to. This simple step will help you create a positive mindset – a key ingredient for self-love and happiness.

Step 2: There are no “have-to’s” early in the morning

As a morning practice, I have learned to allow myself to do and feel anything that I want for the first moments I’m awake. In the first moments of my day, I have no to-do list and I listen to nobody but myself. Usually, I’ll look outside the window, take a few deep breaths, sit at the kitchen table, and simply let myself wake up into my day. Most days, I’ll close my eyes and it will feel like a meditation. But again, without any obligations. I just do what I feel like. This is my sacred space and it allows me to ground myself for what’s to come.

Step 3: Make sure to take your coffee or tea in the now

After I have given myself the time to peacefully awaken, I make myself some coffee or tea, depending on my mood and feelings. When it’s ready and I drink it, I make sure I’m not doing anything else other than savoring the taste, warmth, and aromas. This brings me from wherever I am back into the now, close to the experience. So often, we drink our coffee without even noticing how good it tastes or how fresh it smells. A missed opportunity to enjoy what life has to offer us. That’s why I’ve made it a habit to really be aware of it when I drink it. It’s a little gift I give myself every day.

Step 4: Write down your intentions for the day

A very important part of my morning ritual is writing down my intentions for the day. By the time I am doing this, I have had a look at my schedule and know what my day will look like. Depending on who I’m going to meet, what I have to do, and what feelings I associate all that with, I think of an intention. If I know I have some difficult meetings ahead of me, I’ll write an intention to keep me grounded and calm, and if I am looking forward to seeing a friend, I will write an intention for us to have the best of times. Throughout the day, I go back to my intention a few times, making sure I remember what’s important for me and how I want to feel.

Step 5: Don’t forget to say “I love you”

The final – and most important step – of my morning ritual is saying “I love you” to myself. I do this every day, when I’m looking at myself in the mirror. Usually, it’s when I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth, or when I’m getting dressed in my bedroom and looking in the big wall mirror I have by my closet. I’ll pause, take a few breaths, and really look at my reflection in the mirror. Then I will simply say “I love you”. I say it out loud or in silence, whatever I feel like. Sometimes I say it softly, sometimes I say it loudly. Sometimes I smile when I say it, sometimes I make a face. But because it’s so important to remember, I always say it.

This list might look like a lot, but it really isn’t. You can integrate it in any morning routine or in the habits you already have. You don’t have to do all of it either; you can choose what feels right for you and start from there. But whatever you do, I would invite you to try and start your day with thoughts of love for yourself. It will change your life.