murielle marie

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How to get over impatience when setting or achieving goals

I was recently asked what I do to overcome impatience when I’m working on my goals or in the process of achieving them. Because keeping at it for a year – as I do and as I teach, encourage and guide my students to do in my goal-setting program – can certainly leave you feeling impatient at times.

The first thing that I want to address about this question is the concept of impatience. I consider myself to be a rather patient person, and yet, especially when my goals are concerned, that’s not always the side of me that shows up.

And what’s more, I know I am bound to experience impatience at one moment or another this year, and so are you. Just like we’ll all experience uncertainty, fear, insecurity, and perhaps even despair when it comes to achieving our most precious goals.

When you are actively designing your life – which is precisely what you do when you decide to set goals and work towards them – you will need reassurance sometimes that things will work out, and you’ll want things to move faster than they are – I can promise you that much.

Although we’re pretty good at delayed gratification, and although being able to wait for what it is that we want has been one of the key elements for our success as a species, sometimes we simply need to see the rewards of all of our hard work. And to see it now! But isn’t that normal? I mean, when you put a lot of time and effort into something, don’t you want to see results? Of course you do, delayed gratification or not!

So when it happens to you, don’t worry about it or be ashamed of it or to try and dismiss it. On the contrary, when you feel impatient, allow that emotion to exist and flow through you, so that it can pass. And once it does, get back to work.

The second thing I want you to consider is the many sources from which impatience can arise. It might be that the goal you are working towards is necessary for you to get out of a situation that you don’t to be in, like when you start a new business and you’re still working a day job until it’s profitable enough for you to quit.

Or it might be that impatience comes from the people around you, who don’t believe in you. And you want nothing more than to show those people how wrong they are, and how great you’re doing with your goals!

Or it might be that you have doubts and fears, and when results are not what you expect them to be, you start to worry.

In all these cases – and many more, I’m sure – impatience can set in. But when that happens, it’s important to remember the big picture: your end goal.

A great way to do this is to do a review of how far you’ve already come. The reason this helps is because, when we are looking to see results, we’re often so focused on the big stuff that we forget all the little steps we’ve taken already. A big result is often the end product of a long series of very small results. So make a list, recount all the things you’ve already achieved, and all that you’ve done, and remember that list or go back to it when you feel impatience creeping up on you.

Another thing you can do when impatience sets in is do something that you know will show immediate results. Be unreasonable with your goal for once, step away from your plan, and instead of taking another small step, take a bold one this time. This does not mean that you have to quit the day job, but perhaps there’s something that you can do for your goal that you know will have a big impact. Like when you’ve been contemplating to paint that room in your favorite color, but you’re still figuring out what that color is, exactly. Instead of focusing on color, why don’t you clean out the room and get it ready to be painted?

Or maybe there’s something you’ve been scared to do, or been thinking about but feel it’s too soon. Like sharing your big goal with someone, and telling them your vision so that they can dream of it with you. Whatever the case, I invite you to just do it. Calling in results like this will counteract your feelings of impatience – even if it’s not the end point of the goal itself, at least it will be an undeniable milestone that will bring your impatience to rest.

And, finally, it might be that you simply need a break. And maybe you have to do nothing for once, or sit in front of the TV and watch a movie for a while. Sometimes we need fresh air and a change of scenery for impatience to go away. Or we need to get it sidetracked by doing something entirely different. So if you know this is the case with you, take a rest and show yourself some love. After that, you’ll be less impatient and more energized, so that you can get working on your goals again.

But whatever the case, I choose to see impatience as a sign that I’m in action. And when I’m able to remember that, I feel good and proud, even when I have fears or doubts or when I’m not sure about my goals at all anymore.

Because by being in action, I’m the designer of my life, the captain of my ship, and despite impatience, I know I need that to be happy.

Ready to take action too? Why not start with a free 30-minute coaching session? I can’t wait to dream with you!