Your #1 Mindset Hack for a Badass Life: Every Negative Thought is Wrong

Overthinking, worry, and anxious thoughts plagued my every day - my every minute and even my every second on some days. I couldn't escape them, no matter how hard I tried. The noise in my head, paired with the discomfort in my body from the perpetual stress, made it difficult to focus on anything else. It was like a constant battle that, for years, I couldn't win.

Those anxious days are long gone, thank goodness, but it was a journey to get to where I am now. And it's a journey that I continue on every day because let's be honest - anxiety isn't something that entirely disappears forever. Yes, you can make it smaller and smaller, but it is a daily practice and reprieve. Anxiety and worry are things that we learn to manage and cope with.

I used to think my constant worrying was just a part of who I was - it was just my personality, and I could do nothing about it. But I learned that wasn't true through therapy, self-reflection, cultivating many calming and grounding rituals, and a lot of trial-and-error. Anxiety is not our identity - it's simply an aspect of thinking and the nervous system that has gone into overdrive. And just like any other part of ourselves that isn't serving us, we can work on changing it.

The problem with anxiety and worry is that it keeps us stuck in a state of fear and doubt. We become so consumed with what could go wrong and what might happen that we forget to live in the present moment. In my practice, I support many people who suffer from anxiety, worry, and overthinking.

Often, the way it manifests in their life is as follows:

• Difficulty concentrating on tasks and making decisions 

• Procrastination due to fear of failure 

• Loss of performance and productivity 

• Strained relationships at work and with loved ones 

• Increased physical discomfort like headaches or fatigue 

• Disrupted sleep patterns 

• Constant self-doubt and negative self-talk

It's a never-ending cycle that can leave us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and hopeless. But the good news is we have the power to break this cycle and take control of our thoughts and emotions. It starts with acknowledging that we have anxiety and understanding how it affects us. From there, we can begin implementing healthy coping strategies and seeking professional help if needed.

So, where do you start in this process of rewiring your brain so you can be freed from this crippling anxiety? How do you begin to quiet the noise and calm the storm inside your head? You can do many things, from therapy and medication to self-care practices like mindfulness, exercise, and journaling. It's about finding what works for you and creating a personalized plan to help you manage your anxiety.

One thing that has helped me tremendously in managing my anxiety is changing my mindset, aka the way I think about things.

Instead of constantly worrying and catastrophizing, I learned to challenge my thoughts, question their validity, and focus on the present moment. This shift in thinking has allowed me to let go of unnecessary stress and find peace within myself.

Life constantly changes and evolves, and people's reactions are beyond our control. Every day, something new, potentially stressful, and uncertain could happen. Instead of continually worrying about what might go wrong or trying to control everything, I have learned to focus on what I can control - my thoughts and my reactions.

I have done so much work learning to control my thinking this year, and this mindset thing is like magic! There are no two ways about it:

Our thoughts - our mindset - shape our reality; they are the lens through which we interpret the world.

Someone I consider very wise once told me, "We are what we focus on." This means that if our thoughts are consumed with worry and anxiety, then that is what we will manifest in our lives. But, if we focus on positivity, gratitude, and peace of mind, that is what we will attract.

So why not choose the latter? We can rewire our brains by changing our thought patterns and creating a more positive mindset. It's a challenging task but possible with practice and perseverance.

I used to believe that my anxiety was something I would always have to live with - it was just part of who I am. But now I know that I can manage it and even overcome it. It takes work every day, but the rewards are endless.

Since then, those words have become my truth. When we focus on positivity and possibility, we open ourselves to a world of opportunities and growth. When we pay attention to negative and limiting thoughts, we trap ourselves in a cycle of self-doubt and fear, often creating unnecessary anxiety and stress.

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought," said the Buddha.

With that in mind, I've been training myself to focus on thoughts that empower me rather than those that keep me small and stressed out. And let me tell you, it's like magic! It can be confusing to believe one negative thought but not another, as if some are true and we should listen to them! That's why I've created a simple rule for myself and my clients: 

Every negative thought is wrong!

As soon as one pops into my mind (as they will, thousands of times a day if you let them!), I choose to divert my focus to a positive thought instead. It takes practice (and a handy list of positive things to focus on helps), but the easier I do it, the easier it becomes.

Before I knew it, my mindset had shifted from one of limitation to one with ONLY possibility.  I have also seen amazing results in the creatives and entrepreneurs I support.

I'm constantly amazed at how much this simple shift in thinking has affected every aspect of my life - from relationships to my sense of well-being and happiness, overwork to personal growth. It's not about ignoring reality or pretending everything is perfect; it's about choosing to see things in a way that serves us and empowers us to live in the reality we dream about.

So, next time you feel overwhelmed or stuck, remember that you have control over how you think and perceive the world around you. Choose thoughts that empower you and open yourself up to the endless possibilities that await.

Are you ready to rewire your brain and let go of anxiety for good?

Transforming your mindset is a powerful way to create the life you want. None of your thoughts are fixed or part of who you are - they are just thoughts, and as such they can be changed.

I help my clients transform their mindsetso they can become the badass humans and professionals they know they are meant to be. Discover the power of coaching with me. Click below and let's chat!

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How to overcome the mental blocks that keep you from taking action

Through my work as a coach, I come across many women who want to achieve great things, but who fail to see things through, get stuck in a rut, or simply lack the motivation to keep at it until their goals are achieved. In many cases, the reason that these women don’t achieve what they set themselves out to do is based in their fear and limiting beliefs.

There are all kinds of fears and beliefs like this which can prevent women of all ages, backgrounds, and cultures from doing what they are passionate about.

And today I want to address the subject of fear, as I believe this is the number one mental block that keeps many women from achieving their dreams.

Before we take a good look at fear, I want to say up front that, to me, overcoming fear does not mean being totally absent of fear. Being fearless is not the absence of fear; rather, it’s having moved through fear, or past fear, based on the assumption that the result of taking action outweighs the uneasiness involved in doing so. So being fearless does not mean that you live without fear. Instead, it means you’re able to live with your fears – to really look at them and get to know them, and then befriend them on your journey towards accomplishing your goals.

Being afraid of something is human and, in many situations, a necessary and life-saving reflex. In the evolution of humankind, fear has helped our species stay alive and evolve into the intelligent and advanced societies and cultures we live in today. Unfortunately, although we don’t need all of those “fight or flight” reflexes anymore, fear is still a part of who we are.

Fear has evolved with us, provoking psychological, emotional, and even physical reactions that are separate from our surroundings. That is where the problem lies. We can be lying in bed or on the couch – protected, warm, having nothing to fear – and yet, in our heads, we are afraid and anxious. As a consequence, our bodies experience the stress reactions caused by fear. And, in turn, that causes mental blocks that keep us from taking action.

In order to recognize these fears for what they really are and learn how to overcome your mental blocks, I invite you to try the following exercise. Whenever fear is holding you back, I want you to…

1. Review your fears

A powerful question that has helped me and many of my clients is: What’s the worst that can happen? Whenever you experience fear, ask yourself this question and write down everything you can possibly think of. When your list is ready, review the items and try to identify the worst outcome. Now compare that worst outcome with the life you’ll have if you don’t pursue your passion, goals, or dreams.

2. Embrace your fears

After you realize that your worst outcome is probably still much better than the unhappiness and unfulfilled life that might lie ahead of you if you don’t follow your passions, it is important to accept the fact that answering your calling will be scary sometimes, both now and in the future. But that is perfectly OK, and something we all experience. This is why befriending your fears and accepting them is really powerful, especially when you’re undertaking new and exciting things.

3. Transform your fears

A great way to live with your fears and make them work for you is to channel them into something empowering. Transform your negative, limiting beliefs into positive mantras that you repeat to yourself daily and your fears will change in your favor. This might be something as simple as starting to say “I can” instead of “I can’t”, or “yes, why not?” instead of “no, not me”.

Avoid letting fear shut you down
Whatever you do when you experience fear, I want you to take action and do whatever it takes to avoid shutting down. The simplest way to accomplish this, and get going again when fear hits you, is to sit with your fears and “do it anyway”. There’s no really easy way to do this, except through practice. Yet, by using fear as a trigger for this practice, you’ll diffuse it from the start and it will get easier.

4. Don’t let fear guide you

I’ll be the first to admit that fear is very powerful. If left alone and free to play games with your mind, fear will eventually lead you away from your dreams and desires, cloud your judgment, and drag you down. The first step to avoid this happening is recognizing your fears and knowing when they try to lead you. Being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions will help you to stand against fear, and not let it guide you.

5. Prevent fear from deciding for you

Fear is not only powerful, but it’s also very deceiving. If a fear stays with you for too long and you don’t challenge it enough, it will become part of your belief system. When that happens, fear starts to dictate your decisions and even give direction to your life, career, and business. Prevent fears from becoming familiar by habitually questioning your belief system and turning inwards. Doing this is essential to knowing what really makes you happy, and to giving your life the direction you really want.

By befriending fear and accepting it as a part of my life, I became a happier, more fulfilled, and also a much more productive person. And I believe that by befriending fear and overcoming the mental blocks which stop you from taking action, so can you.

And so, tell me, what is the number one thing that keeps you from taking action or seeing things through?