Is your money story keeping you broke?
Money is a subject that can be difficult for anyone, and not just multi-passionate, creative women. We’re all born into money stories, and along the way we create our own money stories, too. Our money stories are the things we tell ourselves about money – the beliefs we have about it that make us deal with money in a particular way, feel certain things when we come into contact with money or are in need of it or spending it, and more. Based on the culture and religion that we’re brought up in, we share a number of common money stories, such as our beliefs that:
You have to work hard to make money.
There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
Money is the root of evil.
It’s selfish to want a lot of money.
Money doesn’t grow on trees. (Now, although this statement is true, what it implies is still a false belief.)
I don’t believe that any of the statements above are true, really. In my mind, money is not good or bad. It’s just an instrument that is required in life to get a lot of the things we want.
But I was raised with those money stories – and so, for the longest time, they shaped the way I felt about money, how I looked at money, and what I believed money to be. Essentially, I was afraid of money. I was afraid there wouldn’t be enough of it in my life (since it doesn’t grow on trees, you see!), I was afraid I would have to work really hard all my life to have a little (well, because you’ve got to work hard for money), I hated wanting money (because it’s selfish), and, when I had money, I often felt bad about it (because it’s the root of all evil). What a mess!
The thing is, nobody really teaches you about money. The only things that your parents and everyone else has to offer you are their own money stories. And those stories have been passed down from generation to generation, and transformed along the way, based on what those who give them to you have experienced themselves, all the way on until they made their way to you.
Some money stories find their origins in ancient beliefs, and others in more social or cultural norms. But wherever they come from, what most of them are is simply stories. They are not based on facts, or at least not on the cause-effect kind of relationship that proves their statements to be true in the here and now. Yes, they find their source in some sort of truth, but not in the kind that you need to live by. They are more like urban legends that can be traced back to an actual event – at least sometimes – but that, in most cases, are nothing more than fantasy gone wild.
Yet, unconsciously or consciously, we believe and live by many of the money stories that we’re surrounded with. And this limits us. Sometimes in a good way, like when we realize money doesn’t grow on trees, and so we don’t spend it all. But most of the time, our money stories are not that helpful. Like when we’re afraid to invest in ourselves because, well… money doesn’t grow on trees.
To find out if your money story is keeping you broke, I’ve got a few questions lined up for you.
Answering these questions truthfully, and really figuring out what money means to you, will help you to uncover your own money story and to rewrite it. So take out your journal or some paper and a pen, and answer the following questions:
When you think about money, how do you really feel? Happy, excited, afraid, stressed?
What was the relationship your parents had with money? Were they savers, spenders? Were they relaxed about money or always worrying?
In what financial situation did you grow up? How much money was available to you then?
How do you think you need to be in order to make money?
How much do you think you’re really worth? How about your time? And your work?
Answering these questions will help you to get a grip on what your money story looks like. But figuring all this out is only half the journey towards a better understanding of your money story.
Now write down your top 5 beliefs about money, based on what you’ve uncovered above, or simply the stories that shape your perception of money the most. And, for each, think about where the story comes from and understand the relativity of it’s truth. Then, rewrite it in a positive and uplifting way that will serve you. Because what I really want you to get out of this is that money can and is anything that you want it to be. If you’re afraid of it, it will not come easy to you; if you think it’s evil, you’ll feel bad about making it; and if you think it’s hard to make, chances are that you’ll wear yourself out at work without enjoying the benefits of that hard labor.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can choose what money is to you, and what your money story looks like. And if you make it a beautiful and uplifting story, making money will come easier, and feeling good about having it and spending it will become second nature.
So, go ahead and give it a try!
PS: To help you along a little bit more, I’ve created a free money affirmation poster for you. Click here to download your copy now and start enjoying the benefits of your new money story.
