Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Is your money mindset affecting your dreams?
We all think we know what money is, and we all feel confident that what we think we know is true. We hardly ever question the beliefs that we have around money or the money mindset that comes with it – even though we don’t know where they come from. A perfect example of this is the belief that many of us have – me included – that making money is a hard thing to do. We start out in life believing this to be true, even before we experience it for ourselves.
My story and mindset about money began with that exact belief. For many years it rippled into everything I did, including how I approached my dreams and tried to achieve them. Because I believed making money was hard, I also believed achieving my dreams had to be.
And it was. Our mindset can be our worst enemy as much as it can be our best friend.
We don’t always think about our mindset this way. In fact, many people go through life without ever questioning what their beliefs are. As the student of my own mindset for many years now, and the witness of the amazing, positive changes that occur in my clients when they change their mindset about money, I’ve come to realize that understanding the true power of your beliefs is one of the most fundamental ways to find more flow, happiness, and courage in your life – and to achieve your dreams!
Our beliefs influence the way we think, but also the way we feel, and the way we act. In a way, you might say that everything comes down to your mindset:
How you perceive the world
Your level of self-confidence and self-esteem
How much you think you’re worth
Whether or not you believe you can do something
…
All of these thoughts, feelings, and characteristics are guided by your mindset. If you believe that making money is hard, it will have an effect on your dreams.
You might think building your dreams is expensive, and since you believe making money is hard you’ll never get there. Or as you’re building the career or business of your dreams you might fall into the trap of relentless productivity and overwork like I did. Because way you think about money has a direct influence on the way you think about all the activities that produce money.
The good news is that, even though our beliefs control us, we can take control over what we believe. This means that you are in control, and that no matter what your situation may be today, you have the power to change the world you live in simply by changing how you think about it.
You start this process by asking questions.
What do you think about when you think about money?
When you think about money, how do you really feel? Calm, excited, happy, afraid, stressed out?
What was the relationship your parents had with money? Were they savers, spenders? Were they relaxed about money or always worrying?
In what financial situation did you grow up? How much money was available to you then? Was there enough to go around, or was making ends meet a challenge every month?
Who do you think you need to be in order to make money?
How much do you think you’re really worth? How about your time? And your work?
Exploring these questions will help you to find out more about your relationship with money, and what your money mindset is.
Whether you’re conscious of it or not, beliefs about money were all around you when you were growing up. And they are still all around you today. Everybody has them, and often they’re rooted in the culture that you’ve been brought up into. For instance, do any of these money stories sound familiar to you?
You have to suffer to make money.
People want to steal your money away from you.
You have to work hard to make money.
The best things in life are free.
Money is the root of evil.
Money needs to be saved.
It’s selfish to want a lot of money.
People with money are greedy, evil, bad.
Money doesn’t grow on trees… (although this statement is true, what it implies is still a belief about money)
All of these statements were part of my inherited beliefs about money. As long as I kept on to them they worked like self-fulfilling prophecies. Even though making money was never the issue, the way I felt about it and how I spent it were.
The stories I believed about money shaped the way I felt about it, how I looked at it, and what I believed it to be. Essentially, I was afraid of money. I was afraid there wouldn’t be enough of it in my life (since it doesn’t grow on trees, you see!), I was afraid I would have to work really hard all my life to have even a little (well, because you’ve got to work hard for money), I hated wanting money (because it’s selfish), and when I had money, I often felt bad about it (because it’s the root of all evil). What a mess!
I don’t believe any of these statements anymore. Money is not good or bad, doesn’t require hard work, doesn’t make you evil, and it’s certainly not selfish to keep the money that you’ve worked for for yourself. It’s just an instrument that is required in life to get a lot of the things we want.
The thing is nobody teaches us this stuff. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. The tyranny of our inherited dreams keeps us locked up in these suffocating beliefs about money. They have been passed down from generation to generation, transformed on the way down by the experiences of those who end up giving them to us.
Wherever they come from, what most of your beliefs about money are is – simply – beliefs. Yes, many of them probably find their origin in some truth, but not the kind that you need to live by today.
Unconsciously or consciously, we all live by many of the money beliefs that we’ve inherited and are surrounded with. And that limits us. Sometimes in a good way, like when we realize money doesn’t grow on trees and so we don’t spend it all. But most of the time our money stories aren’t that helpful. Like when we’re afraid to invest in our dreams because, well… money doesn’t grow on trees.
In order to achieve your dreams – and to live a life aligned with your soul – you need to create your own beliefs about money. And guess what, you have the power to do just that!
Is your money story keeping you broke?
Money is a subject that can be difficult for anyone, and not just multi-passionate, creative women. We’re all born into money stories, and along the way we create our own money stories, too. Our money stories are the things we tell ourselves about money – the beliefs we have about it that make us deal with money in a particular way, feel certain things when we come into contact with money or are in need of it or spending it, and more. Based on the culture and religion that we’re brought up in, we share a number of common money stories, such as our beliefs that:
You have to work hard to make money.
There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
Money is the root of evil.
It’s selfish to want a lot of money.
Money doesn’t grow on trees. (Now, although this statement is true, what it implies is still a false belief.)
I don’t believe that any of the statements above are true, really. In my mind, money is not good or bad. It’s just an instrument that is required in life to get a lot of the things we want.
But I was raised with those money stories – and so, for the longest time, they shaped the way I felt about money, how I looked at money, and what I believed money to be. Essentially, I was afraid of money. I was afraid there wouldn’t be enough of it in my life (since it doesn’t grow on trees, you see!), I was afraid I would have to work really hard all my life to have a little (well, because you’ve got to work hard for money), I hated wanting money (because it’s selfish), and, when I had money, I often felt bad about it (because it’s the root of all evil). What a mess!
The thing is, nobody really teaches you about money. The only things that your parents and everyone else has to offer you are their own money stories. And those stories have been passed down from generation to generation, and transformed along the way, based on what those who give them to you have experienced themselves, all the way on until they made their way to you.
Some money stories find their origins in ancient beliefs, and others in more social or cultural norms. But wherever they come from, what most of them are is simply stories. They are not based on facts, or at least not on the cause-effect kind of relationship that proves their statements to be true in the here and now. Yes, they find their source in some sort of truth, but not in the kind that you need to live by. They are more like urban legends that can be traced back to an actual event – at least sometimes – but that, in most cases, are nothing more than fantasy gone wild.
Yet, unconsciously or consciously, we believe and live by many of the money stories that we’re surrounded with. And this limits us. Sometimes in a good way, like when we realize money doesn’t grow on trees, and so we don’t spend it all. But most of the time, our money stories are not that helpful. Like when we’re afraid to invest in ourselves because, well… money doesn’t grow on trees.
To find out if your money story is keeping you broke, I’ve got a few questions lined up for you.
Answering these questions truthfully, and really figuring out what money means to you, will help you to uncover your own money story and to rewrite it. So take out your journal or some paper and a pen, and answer the following questions:
When you think about money, how do you really feel? Happy, excited, afraid, stressed?
What was the relationship your parents had with money? Were they savers, spenders? Were they relaxed about money or always worrying?
In what financial situation did you grow up? How much money was available to you then?
How do you think you need to be in order to make money?
How much do you think you’re really worth? How about your time? And your work?
Answering these questions will help you to get a grip on what your money story looks like. But figuring all this out is only half the journey towards a better understanding of your money story.
Now write down your top 5 beliefs about money, based on what you’ve uncovered above, or simply the stories that shape your perception of money the most. And, for each, think about where the story comes from and understand the relativity of it’s truth. Then, rewrite it in a positive and uplifting way that will serve you. Because what I really want you to get out of this is that money can and is anything that you want it to be. If you’re afraid of it, it will not come easy to you; if you think it’s evil, you’ll feel bad about making it; and if you think it’s hard to make, chances are that you’ll wear yourself out at work without enjoying the benefits of that hard labor.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can choose what money is to you, and what your money story looks like. And if you make it a beautiful and uplifting story, making money will come easier, and feeling good about having it and spending it will become second nature.
So, go ahead and give it a try!
PS: To help you along a little bit more, I’ve created a free money affirmation poster for you. Click here to download your copy now and start enjoying the benefits of your new money story.