How to Make Your Biggest, Most Unrealistic Dreams Come True

It's easy to think about all the little things you want to have or accomplish in life, but it's much harder to dream big and think about all the things you could achieve if you genuinely felt like you had no limits. To make matters even more challenging, once you've got the hang of dreaming bigger, it can still be hard to figure out how to make those dreams happen.

Our dreams are what make life worth living. They can be as big or small as you want them to be, but the bigger you allow yourself to dream, the more those dreams will carry you forward on your journey. If we dream big enough and act upon those dreams consistently, those dreams do come true! I know, believe me because I see it happen every day in my coaching practice.

In this article, we'll talk about how you can dream bigger and make your biggest, most unrealistic dreams come true! Because you know what? You can!

How to Stop Being Afraid to Dream Big

The first step to dream bigger is learning not to be afraid of your dreams. What's the worst that can happen? You fail; you learn something new and try again! There are no limits on what you're capable of if you dream big enough!

The first step to overcoming the fear of what's possible for you in your life is to admit you have the dream. You have to stop brushing it off as something "you could never do" or that "will never happen. Whenever a client dismisses their dream like that, my question to them is this: "What proof do you have that this could never happen or that you could never do it if you don't try?"

We tend to make other people or the world responsible for not achieving our dreams, but in most cases, those big dreams don't even get a chance to get out of the starting blocks because we throw them out before we reach the running track.

So take a moment now to think about some big, beautiful, seemingly unrealistic dream or goal you have for yourself. Got it? Good! Now let's talk about how to make that dream a reality.

How to Make Your Biggest, Most Unrealistic Dreams Come True

Once you're ready to accept your big dreams for what they are and are no longer pushing them away, the next step is to figure out how to make them happen.

Here's an easy 5-step plan to follow to get you started:

1. Make a list of your biggest dreams.
   Don't censor yourself, instead of push yourself to dream even bigger. Imagine you'd like to leave your 9-to-5 job and start your own business. How big would you like that business to be? How free would you like to be with it? What would it look like if this business could be exactly as you want it? Those are the dreams we're looking for. There will be plenty of time to be realistic later.

2. Pick a dream and give it 30 days of undivided attention.
   If you only have one dream, you're good for this step. If you have more, and they're all screaming for your attention, pick one - for now - and devote 30 days to it. I know this can be scary for creatives and entrepreneurs, especially those with many ideas lying around, but we're not saying drop everything forever. Just pick one idea (the one that speaks to you the most right now) and give it four weeks of your time. After that, you're free to drop it, pick another or keep going.

3. Start with the end in mind and create a plan.
   What small step can you take every day for the next 30 days to bring you closer to this dream? I'm not saying reach it, but get closer to it because a big part of achieving unrealistic dreams is to be very realistic about the time you have and the effort needed to achieve them. You can only sustainably achieve big dreams because, yes, it's a marathon and not a sprint.

4. For the next 30 days, spend at least 10 minutes working on your dream.
   One small step each day for 30 days is all it takes to make unrealistic dreams feel more attainable. Please don't take my word for it (who am I, I've only been doing this work for almost eight years with 100s of clients :) ); try it for yourself. You'll see.

5. Keep moving forward, and don't stop dreaming bigger.
   Even if it takes some time for your dreams to become a reality, keep dreaming big and never give up – every time you take a step, every time you believe you can do it, you'll get closer to achieving your dreams!

If you want to make your biggest and most unrealistic dreams come true, start by believing in them. Get the ball rolling on achieving them by taking small steps towards making your dream a reality, and don't give up when things get tough. Conditions are constantly changing, so be flexible with yourself as well! It's not that hard to turn any fantasy into reality if you're willing to put in the work. What is one of your biggest or most seemingly impossible goals? Do you believe it can happen? Why or why not? Let me know!

You have big dreams but you don't know how to make them a reality?

I'm here to guide you through the process of achieving your goals and living a life that's fulfilling, exciting, and successful. When it comes down to it, my clients tell me they want a life that is truly meaningful and rewarding - both personally and professionally - because ultimately this is what helps us feel fulfilled as human beings (and isn't this why we're all here?).

And when we feel fulfilled, everything else falls into place much easier. So let's do this together! Let's start working towards creating the kind of life where fulfillment comes naturally instead of being forced upon us by circumstance alone...

Schedule your free session!

Self-care tips for when you’re working hard to build your dream

Self-care didn’t always come naturally to me. In fact, I’d say that for the biggest part of my life I didn’t care much for my body. Or myself. I was too preoccupied with endless to-do lists, multi-tasking to make sure everything got done, and that everyone around me was happy first. Taking care of myself was something I’d do in the future, after all the other stuff I had going on. Of course I never got to that point. How could I make myself a priority when I kept on adding other things to my list first?

When I think back on that time now, I realize I lived my life as if I had no body at all. Everything happened from the top of my head up to my neck. Anything below that was a necessity, not a gift. At least, that’s how I used to look at it.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t exercise, or wasn’t aware of what I was putting into my body. Only I didn’t do it for the right reasons. I slept because I had to, I ate – most days much later than I should have and at my desk – not because I wanted to nourish my body but because I was so hungry I couldn’t ignore my poor body anymore. When I went to the gym it was because I felt I needed to look a certain way to fit in, not because I wanted a strong, healthy body. The thing is, our bodies are amazing machines that can cope with a lot of things, but in order to live a joyful, fulfilling, healthy life we need to do more than just keep ourselves physically alive.

My own decade-long habit of ignoring my body’s needs resulted in heaps of stress, aches and pains, headaches. I wasn’t the nicest person to be around either, especially early in the afternoon when I hadn’t eaten yet and was in full-blown hangry agony. Because of the prolonged hours I spent at my desk behind my laptop I always had cold hands and feet, and a sore neck and shoulders.

But the biggest issue was that I wasn’t nearly as productive as I could have been. Doing almost nothing to work toward my goals. During my work day I was easily distracted, stressed out, unhappy. At night I was exhausted. By not allowing myself to take a break or care for myself I was miserable.

So, what is self-care?

The World Health Organization restricts the meaning of self-care to the practices that keep you safe from disease, boost and restore your health, but in a more general sense, self-care could be defined as taking time to focus on yourself and your physical and psychological needs. It’s about reconnecting with your body to listen to its messages, quieting your mind and dealing with your emotions and feelings.

Is self-care another name for pampering?

Only if your idea of pampering is to give your body (and mind) what it needs to thrive and continue to serve you well in your mission to achieve your dreams.

In recent years, self-care started becoming more popular thanks to the work of self-care activists like poet Audre Lorde.

Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.
– Audre Lorde

The idea is quite simple: if I don’t take care of myself, I won’t be able to keep fighting for the causes I believe in. If I don’t take care of my own needs, I’m not going to be able to help others get what they need either.

You’re a human being, not a robot

Something the South African writer Malebo Sephodi set out to remind people during a TEDx talk was that we need to allow ourselves to feel things. We’re human. We’re not robots designed to work or process information non-stop, and we need to take the time to reflect on who we are, who society expects us to be, and who we feel we should be – what we know is our true calling.

Self-care is an act of love and a tool for strengthening your body and mind. The bigger your dreams or goals, the bigger the risk of becoming overwhelmed, disengaged, or even sick while working hard to achieve them. Because you know that the reward will be so great, you risk pushing yourself too hard.

To help you work toward your big dreams in a meaningful way I’ve put together a list of self-care tips that I invite you to try, and (if you like them) integrate into your daily life. These tips have helped me to finally make friends with my body, and learn to treat myself well.

• Learn to release the tension in your body

You can do this through yoga, getting a massage (or giving yourself one), going to the gym, or even doing breathing exercises. For example, you can install the BreatheWell app on your phone (iOS, Android) and go through a breathing cycle any time you feel tense. You can start with a 4-second inhale, a 16-second hold, and an 8-second exhale.

• Sit on a bench in the park

Or step outside, or to your balcony for a few minutes. Just watch the people and the cars passing by, what’s unfolding around you without thinking about all the things you have to do. This will give your mind and body a relaxing break.

• Take a meditation break

Some people meditate for 2 hours a day, or more. It’s OK if you don’t have that long, 15 minutes or even less will be just as good. If you don’t know how to meditate, open a guided meditation on YouTube and listen to the indications or just focus on your breathing. [If you’re a member of the Big Dreamers Club, simply go through the meditation module Maja Savic created for us.] Meditation can help you live in the present and expand your consciousness, thus freeing you from the shackles of your own thoughts and emotions.

• Clean your desk or your room

Decluttering will make you feel more productive and will also help calm your mind. It’s really worth it to invest 15-20 minutes on cleaning up your workspace or personal space every day.

• Play a simple, mindless game

The awesome thing about games is that they capture your attention, so you can use them to give yourself a break, especially during stressful times. You can play a game on your phone or in your browser. A quick Google search will give you lots of options to choose from. So will asking children or teenagers!

• Make yourself a nourishing meal

It should be something you really want to eat and that’s also good for you. Usually, your body craves what it needs. So listen to it, and don’t postpone eating when you’re hungry, or eat less than your body needs. Remember that food is your body’s (and mind’s) fuel, and that you need it to be happy – and work on your dreams!

• Binge on some Netflix

Or watch a series or fun TV show. It doesn’t matter what you pick, as long as it’s not work in disguise. Don’t go to YouTube to learn more about subjects that matter to you at work, instead make sure to pick something that will amuse you, and will help you get your mind off things.

• Take a nap

Sometimes our bodies and minds need rest. Babies and young children do it often, and it’s easy to see the difference in mood before and after. The same is true for us. Whether it’s 10 minutes or half an hour, laying down to rest and closing your eyes for a little while can truly do wonders. Especially if you live a busy life with little time for yourself.

• Reach out to a friend

You’re not in this alone. Even though when you’re working your way through your to-do list you might feel you are. That’s why taking a break, and reaching out to a friend can do so much good. It doesn’t need to be a long conversation, or even a phone call. You can message a friend on Facebook, or exchange a few text messages through your phone. The point is to connect, and remember that a whole world is out there.

• Close the curtains and dance to your favorite song

Moving your body is one of the best ways to release tension, get some blood flowing through your body, and to remember you’re alive. If you feel up to it, try singing while you’re at it. Expressing yourself through your body can be a great way to get yourself out of the confines of your comfort zone, which in turn will not only boost your health but your creativity too!

• Put your thoughts on paper

Having dealt with anxiety for a big part of my life, I know all too well what it feels like to have too many things swirling in my mind. One trick that I’ve found to be helpful to release some of the mental stress that comes from having too many things in my head, is to write them down on a piece of paper. When I do it – and I’ve made it a habit to do this regularly – I can literally feel space freeing up inside my mind. The result? I’m calmer, less stressed, and I can focus better on what really matters.

If you like any of the tips, I invite you to put them into action. And in the comments below, let me know about it. But whatever you do, remember that you’re not a robot but a soul traveling through this world in a vessel made of flesh and bones. Take care of yourself!

How to believe your dreams are possible

Have you ever dreamt about something really, really big only to find yourself a few minutes later deciding that you’d never be able to achieve it? If you did, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve been through this with my own dreams, and I’ve helped so many women that experienced the same thing with theirs.

One of the main reasons why we don’t achieve our big dreams, is that we don’t really believe we can achieve them. Of course, the dynamics at play are a bit more complicated than that, but the bottom line remains the same: we don’t pursue what we don’t believe in.

So in order to achieve our dreams, first we need to truly believe they are possible. Here are three tips that I’ve used to believe in my own dreams, and that many clients, and friends have successfully applied to believe in theirs.

How to believe in your dreams?

• Don’t censor yourself

When you dream big it’s important not to censor yourself. Don’t think about how you’re going to achieve something when you’re dreaming about it, but instead focus on what it is that you want. Planning can come later, for if you start questioning the plan at this stage, you’ll never get past your own doubts.

• Visualize yourself achieving your dreams

The bigger the dream, the harder it is to imagine yourself achieving it. One way to help you believe in your dreams is to short wire your brain into believing you’ve already achieved them. To do this you must visualise yourself already there, and keep the picture of your dreams in your mind as much as possible. I love creating vision boards on Pinterest to help me do this. Every morning I’ll do a quick browse through my boards. It helps me remember what I’m going for, and believing that I can achieve it!

• Keep track of small wins

The road to big dreams can be long. Even if you start out believing in your dreams, the longer a dream takes to achieve the bigger the chance you might lose faith along the way. That’s why it’s important to keep track of your small wins. I keep a list close by with all the tiny milestones I’ve achieved for each of my dreams. When I feel doubt creep in I take out my list and I review it. It reminds me of where I started, and how far I’ve come. This helps me to stay motivated, and to keep believing I will eventually get there.

If you want more tips to get unstuck, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.

Want to achieve your goals? Make sure they feed your soul

Every year I do the same thing. Come November, I start thinking about what goals I want to achieve in the following year. And from that moment on until early January, I dream big, and write down everything that my heart desires. And what I’ve learned doing this is that if you want to achieve your goals, you have to make sure they feed your soul.

To stay on track and in action I use a systematic action-setting, and goal-review system that I’ve worked out over the years. As part of that system, by this time of year each year, when we’ve passed the six-month mark into it, I do a thorough mid-year goal review.

And every year, no matter how well I’ve planned in advance, I catch myself doing the same thing again. Because every year, six months into working towards my goals, I always find the odd one or two in the list that don’t work for me. I’m talking about the ones that I haven’t worked on yet, or have been procrastinating on, or have been working on at first, only to find that I’m not able to keep it up.

Before I would really get upset, or feel guilty, or a failure for not addressing these goals properly, or from being so bad at working toward them. But what I’ve learned since my early goal-setting days, is to stop blaming myself and to start by asking one simple question instead: What will achieving this goal really do for me?

And it is powerful, I promise you. By asking yourself this question you’ll start listening to your soul, and learn to connect with your emotions. And when you want to achieve your goals, that’s really what you need to do. Jotting down things on a piece of paper, without wondering how those things make you feel, or why you really want to achieve them, really does not make sense. Yet, we all fall into the trap (sometimes). Even after years of goal-setting, I know I still do!

The question here, of course, is why that is. And the simple answer is, because we go about setting goals the wrong way.

Think of your new years’ resolutions, and what eventually makes it onto paper. It might look something like this:

• Lose weight

• Quit smoking

• Get organized

• Travel more

• Read more

At first glance, there’s nothing wrong with this list. I’m sure that most of us want at least one or two of the things on it even. Still, there’s an issue. There is no purpose, no emotion, no feeling in a list like that. And without that, achieving goals is that much harder. Because in the end, the only reason why we ever really want to achieve anything, is to feel something, and to feed our soul. And that’s the reason why so many goals fail.

Now, that’s not to say that all goals you procrastinate on are orphan of purpose, absolutely not. There are many different reasons why we don’t achieve our goals, even the ones that really feed our souls. Absolutely. But if that’s not the case, if we don’t feel an emotional connection to what it is we’re trying to achieve, it will be really hard to do so. Or to sustain the effort.

Now that we’ve established that, I’d love for you to look at the example list above again. And ask yourself what you would feel if you where, let’s say, getting organized or reading more.

What would that bring you?
What would that change in your life?
What would the purpose be?
How would that feed your soul?

Getting organized might give you a sense of greater control over your life, or give you a greater sense of freedom. Reading more might be an activity you really enjoy, making your less stressed overall, enjoying things more. Or it might feed your insatiable appetite for knowledge.

The point is… those are your real goals: having a greater sense of freedom, enjoying things more, keeping a sharp and educated mind. And those are the goals that feed your soul.

The goal is almost always just a symptom of the real goal. And that’s were a lot of goals go wrong.

Losing weight is an even easier example. We never want to lose weight just for the sake of seeing the numbers on the scale go down. Ever. What we really want, when we say we need to lose weight – which is, by the way, the real goal we’re setting for ourselves – is always more personal, and more emotional. We want to lose weight because we want to feel sexy again, or because we want to feel wanted, or to feel healthier.

Notice the word feel in the last paragraph. That’s the essential word here. A goal should make us feel something, it should make our lives better, and make us happier. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t feed our soul. And if it doesn’t feed our soul, it’s going to be really hard to achieve. And by the way, why would you even try to begin with, if that were the case?

So if you find it hard to get started with a goal you set for yourself, or if you notice you keep procrastinating on it, I invite you to ask yourself what this goal really means to you, and how it feeds your soul. And if you find that it doesn’t, do like me when I find the odd one out: drop it, and move on.

Beautiful picture by Frederic Frognier – shotbyfred.com