The Courage to Quit: Five Things You Can do When You're Ready For Something New

Quitting is never easy. It's one of the most challenging things we can do. Whether it's a job, a romantic relationship or friendship, or a project we decided not to pursue. Whatever it is, quitting is hard. Not only because we have to let go of something but also because we have to face our fears.

That's why most of us overthink it and try to find excuses not to do it, even when we know in our guts that we should. This is especially true when we feel responsible, don't want to hurt anyone, or care about what other people think of us. But even if quitting requires courage, it doesn't mean you should hold off from doing it. When you're ready for something new, it's often the only thing you can think about until - guess what? - you finally do something about it!

That, to me, is the telltale sign that it's time for a change. In this article, I share five things that have helped me find the courage to make bold moves in my life and work and how I believe you can, too.

Why do we overthink?

When we overthink, we often try to silence our intuition instead of listening to it. Our gut tells us what something is right for us way before our mind does, but we don't always trust it. We second-guess ourselves and wonder if we're making the right decision. This is because we're afraid of the unknown and failure. But what if we looked at quitting in a different light? What if, instead of seeing it as a sign of weakness, we saw it as an act of courage?

We overthink because our minds are trying to figure something out that only time will tell. We want absolute certainty before taking a step forward, but life rarely works out that way. The more we try to control things, the more we realize that we can't. That's precisely why we need to have faith and trust our gut.

If you're considering quitting something, here are five things you can do:

1. Take time for yourself. This is probably the most important thing you can do. When we're ready for something new, we often feel we have to make a decision immediately. But it's essential to take some time for yourself first. Ask yourself why you want to quit and what you hope to gain from it. What are your fears, and how can you face them? Taking the time to think about your decision will help you make a more informed choice. The sense of urgency often makes the decision harder to take. When you take that pressure away, you might find the decision relatively easy.

2. Talk to people who have done it before. If you know anyone who has gone through a similar experience, talk to them about it. Ask them how they made the decision and what the process was like. Hearing other people's stories will help normalize your own experience and make it feel less daunting. Everyone quits sometimes, and most people feel some level of fear when they do. Don't be afraid to reach out for support. The more stories you hear from others and how they've done it, the easier it will be for you to choose a different path for yourself.

3. Confide in someone you trust. When facing a tough decision, it's often helpful to talk to someone you feel safe with enough to share what is going on with you. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or coach. Talking about our fears and concerns can help us gain clarity and perspective. It can also help us feel less alone in our decision-making process. Another reason why it's important to share what you're going through is we're often standing too close to our problems to see our options. Having someone listen and reflect back to us what they heard can help us see things in a new light.

4. Get rid of perfectionism. One of the main reasons we don't quit is because we're afraid of not doing it perfectly. We think we have to have everything figured out before we make a move, but that's rarely the case. Often, the best way to learn is by doing. So instead of waiting for things to be perfect, take imperfect action and trust that you'll figure it out along the way. Moving forward without knowing all the steps in advance allows you to be flexible as you progress into this new chapter of your life, which is always important.

5. Find an ounce of clarity. The first thing you can do is get some clarity about the thing you want. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it's often the most challenging part. We can be so caught up in our current situation that we can't see what else is out there. When you're ready to quit, take some time to think about what you want. What are your goals? What would make you happy? Visualize what your life will look like once you've decided and finally quit what isn't working for you anymore. Once you have at least a little bit of understanding of what you want, it will be easier to take the following steps.

Finally, and this is what helps me the most when I've decided to quit something, make a conscious decision to step into this new chapter of your life. Making a significant change is never easy, and it doesn't happen overnight, but by actively deciding to change your life, you're setting yourself up for success. So take a deep breath, trust your gut and go for it! In the end, you're the one that needs to do it.

I hope these tips will help you find the courage to make a change in your life. If you're feeling stuck, remember that you're not alone, and there is always a way out. Change is scary, but it's also exciting and full of possibilities. So leap and see what happens! You might surprise yourself.

Feeling lost and uncertain about your next steps?

Private coaching is a great way to gain clarity on what you should do next in your life or career. I can help you assess whether or not it's time for a change and give you the tools necessary to make that change happen.

If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or frustrated, coaching can provide the support, accountability, and guidance you need to make lasting changes in your life and work.

Schedule your free session!

How to define success for yourself

We spend a big part of our lives doing as we’re told. We’re learning from teachers, peers, books and the world. This is called social conditioning. We can’t help it. We get rewarded and punished as children. Ultimately we want to feel safe, loved and like we belong. That follows us into adulthood. This is important to know as we look to define success on your own terms – what it means to us often takes shape from what we’re taught.

Go to school, find a partner, get a career (and not just any career). Then comes marriage, the house with picket fences, a dog, 2.4 children. Today, many of these milestones (especially the material ones) are out the window for a lot of people (who can afford a mortgage on a million-dollar home in the city!?).

Likewise, success changed over time. If we only focus on success as a monetary measure – or define our worth based on our professional achievements – we risk never finding satisfaction in what we do, or who we are.

Today, no one stays at one job for their lifetime. Houses in major cities are expensive, and there’s a palpable spiritual restlessness, a nagging voice that keeps on asking: “are you truly happy with the ‘success’ you have right now?”

For many, the answer is “no”. I know it was for me.

Until I was forced to awaken to the truth of my professional life: I was living someone else’s dream. I was making money but I wasn’t happy. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more out there for me.

What followed was a 10-year Odysseus-like trip back home – a journey, both physical and internal, that turned my social conditioning upside down. The journey required reflection, struggle, and for me to create my own version of success based on my own desires, rather than grasping for other people’s definitions.

Some things you have to figure out.

I want you to take a transformative journey through what success means to you. To define success on your own terms you must look at…

#1 Your Why

Why is success important to you and what will that look like? What will happen if you keep the same definition of success you’ve been taught, will it lead you down a happy road?

#2 Your Values

What beliefs are non-negotiable on your journey to success? Freedom from guilt? Freedom from your parents? Joy? Determination? More work hours? Do you sacrifice time with family? Your health? What do you value?

#3 Your Talents

Reflect on your talents and where you felt most successful. Was it problem-solving something no one else could? Was it getting creative? Are you a great speaker or researcher?

#4 What Brings You Joy

What truly made you happy and joyful the last time you felt successful?

The way you love to spend your time means knowing that time is the new currency you cannot buy. The past is gone and you only have now (you can’t control the future, it hasn’t even happened yet!). How are you spending your time?

Who you like to surround yourself with – we often hear about toxic behaviours, problematic friends but setting boundaries so you feel you can participate in healthy and reciprocal relationships means assessing who you surround yourself with, and clearing space if necessary.

What brings you rest, feeds your soul – when are you in the flow? When does happiness come easy to you? Who’s with you in those moments, and what are you doing?

Those are all clues into what success means to you, and how you can create it for yourself. Success is not a singular thing or material object. In fact, there’s not enough money in the world to buy your way into it.

True success is a way of life.

Michelle Obama said, “Success isn’t how much money you make but how much of a difference you make in people’s lives.” The first person this applies to is yourself.

How much difference are you making in YOUR life?

Then, there’s a bigger dimension.

We forget how important it is to place the individual within a community. Self-development and concepts like success can get individualistic. But you can apply your talents and skills towards a higher purpose. Be sure to open your eyes from the social conditioning of society, parents, and capitalism that tells you what you should do.

Question everything by being discerning and compassionate.

From all of this, you can truly start to design your own life. Like Ulysses in Homer’s epic story, venturing into a new land, without a home or identity and struggling to both establish one and avoid one at the same time.

Your identity and relationship with “success” can evolve on this journey.

You can have a past, but it doesn’t have to define your future.

Why you should consider hiring a coach

The internet is full of articles and top lists about all the things that you must try at least once in your life. Some of those things are beautiful, like walking a pristine white beach at sunset or going on holidays to the most amazing places of this Earth. Other things are more everyday, like making out, eating scones by a campfire, or singing Karaoke.

The list goes on and on. And although it seems endless, all the options have one thing in common: your experience. Everything you have to do at least once, according to those lists, involves you feeling something, and that feeling in turn serves as an enrichment in your life.

And what I want to argue below is that hiring a life coach, precisely for the same reasons and more, is something that everyone should consider doing at least once in their lifetime.

When we get onto this Earth we are nurtured by our parents (if we’re lucky), we get a formal education (again, if we’re lucky), we are taught how to keep ourselves alive with food, clothes, and housing, and we learn how to live with others in society. We learn the values of sharing, of giving (hopefully), and of participating. But in all of this learning and growing and becoming a person, there seems to be no room for learning about our unlimited potential, incredible powers, or our amazing ability to achieve things, to love, to be compassionate, to explore what it is that we are, and to create the life we want for ourselves. And to me, that’s precisely what life coaching makes possible.

How incredible would it be if our schools would teach our children how to live fulfilling and self-actualized lives? And be places that would encourage them to explore how amazing and limitless they are?

Alas, things tend to go the other way. We teach our children to believe in structures and systems that cut right through the flow of their creative power, engraining in them concepts such as scarcity, fear, guilt, and responsibility. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we taught our children how to live unapologetically warm, wholehearted, loving, and real lives instead?

Maybe that will never happen, or maybe it will. But in the meantime, our lives – in the West, at least – are very often a product of pre-existing structures and belief systems that keep us from achieving our full potential. And we suffer. In some cases, very clearly: we are unhappy, sad even, waiting for life to really happen. Or we are lost, insecure, and unable to handle what life throws at us. In other cases, it’s subtler: our lives are quiet and okay, but there is something missing. We feel we are meant for something more, something different.

And that is where life coaching comes in. Life coaching is basically a means of being coached about life. Unlike psychotherapists or other medical professionals, life coaches are trained to help you engage with your life in an active and goal-oriented way, to get you from where you are to where you really want and can be. As such, they focus less on how you got to where you are, and more on how to get you where you want to go.

Life coaches usually have a particular field of expertise they coach in. My field, for instance, is helping high-achieving, perfectionist women to be more self-loving and to let go of having to be in control all the time. As a coach, I help women in a number of life areas, such as:

• How to stop sabotaging their success in life and business

• How to overcome the mental blocks that keep them from taking action

• How to learn to love, nurture, and nourish their bodies

• How to take care of their self through practices of self-love and self-care

• How to use the power of unlimited thinking to succeed in their life and business

• How to move past self-doubt and achieve their goals

• How to find the confidence to express themselves creatively

• How to cultivate loving relationships and move away from toxic ones

As you can see from the list above, life coaching can be very helpful to get you unstuck, to help you to see things from a different perspective, and to help you achieve what it is you want for yourself in your life. But even if you already are at a happy place, life coaching is still helpful. Because sometimes we just want change, or we have a bit of a project we know is in us, but which we are afraid to tackle on our own. Life coaches are great to help with that, too.

The reason why everyone should consider hiring a life coach is because it’s truly transformational. After a successful life coaching series, you are a different person. Not only have you achieved some tangible things, like a career change, better relationships, less stress, and more self-love…

Your life will never be the same again. You have grown and changed, and so has your life. And that is precisely the point. A life coach will help you to uncover what it is you need, want, and really are, and will guide you and help you to achieve exactly that.

Life coaches don’t have all the answers, but they do have very powerful and deep questions in their bags of tricks. And they know how to listen, very carefully, to every word you say. That’s why having a life coach in your life can be so powerful. She will help you to reach that next level in your life, to achieve the dreams you thought you couldn’t even dream of, and she will let you hear yourself and see yourself through her, so that you can grow and become a better version of yourself.

The school of life is the most important school of all. That’s why everyone should experience the transformation and power that comes from working with a life coach.

Interested enough to learn more? And feel we might be a great fit for each other? Why not start with a free 30-minute session with me?