How to Think Yourself Into a Brand New and Magnificent Life

Sometimes, when life is going just right, the only thing we do is wait for it to go wrong. We anticipate and wait for that so-called other shoe to drop. Right now, so many great things are happening in my life and at work, and the fruits of seeds I planted many months or years ago are finally coming out. This reminded me of how accustomed we are to expecting bad things - not good ones - to happen; at least, I know I used to be like that. And honestly, sometimes I still am.

Just last week, with everything feeling right - the sun shining, my new start-up off to a great start, friends and family all in reasonably good health and happy - there it was: the undeniable and oh-so-familiar feeling of doom looming. Something had to go wrong! Everything was going too well, and I was simply feeling too good!

Feeling like doom is coming has been my experience for the biggest part of my life. I know it's the same for many of my clients. Before starting my journey of transformation and anxiety-free living, I was so used to it that even when things were going well, my brain would actively search for something to be worried or unhappy about.

But here's the thing: life is not meant to be lived in fear and worry. We are not meant to expect the worst constantly.

We're meant to live in joy and abundance, regardless of our circumstances. It took me a long time to truly understand this. Still, I'm now at a place where I can confidently say that we have the power to choose how we experience life and that we are manifesting our existence and everything in it every moment of every day.

We may not be able to control what happens around us, but we can control how we react. Even more so, we have a say in what we attract into our lives and how we shape our reality. I shared a lot about this in my book "Get Unstuck!" because it's so important: our thoughts create our reality.

Think about it for a minute.

People who don't have the negative thoughts you or I have don't have the fears either! Can you imagine?

I heard a lawyer share his story recently. When asked how he chose law as his field, he shared how he had always loved conflict. It felt like a game to him, how good he was at it, and how when someone disagreed with him, he enjoyed going into the conversation to get them to see he was right. As someone who has always dreaded conflict, I lost my breath there for a second. I NEVER imagined anyone could enjoy conflict, let alone be good at it. But when I thought about it a bit more, I realized that - of course - to be a good lawyer, not being afraid of conflict is sort of an asset :)

Again, it's all about our thoughts. So, I imagined what my life would be like if I didn't have any negative thoughts about conflict but looked at it from the perspective of a conflict-loving lawyer.

And, you know what, it changes EVERYTHING!

It was a profound moment of realization for me. Of course, I already knew that changing my thoughts changed my life, but this thing called growth is like an onion. It keeps on giving! When you think you've reached the last layer, it turns out there's another one underneath. So, I continue peeling my onion every day - in a positive way, of course!

I've also learned that the power of our thoughts affects our lives and radiates outward to those around us. Have you ever noticed how being around someone who is constantly negative and complaining can bring your mood down? On the other hand, being around someone positive and uplifting can instantly boost your energy and mindset.

So why not choose to be that person? Why not channel the thoughts of the person you want to be in this world? Changing your thoughts can transform your experiences profoundly.

Fear, doubt, and self-limiting beliefs are the number one blocks for many creatives and entrepreneurs. But what if we approached challenges with curiosity and excitement instead, just like lawyers approach conflict? What if we could see difficulties not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities for growth and learning?

What if, when everything is going well, we invite more good vibes into our lives and believe even better things are coming rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop?

For me, this shift in mindset was empowering. It felt like a door opening to a world where I had control over my life. I began to see that my thoughts were like seeds - when I planted positive, empowering beliefs, they blossomed into actions aligned with my goals and dreams. My current life is a testament to this. When I realized how powerful my thoughts were, I started to manifest a reality where fear didn’t dictate my decisions, and possibilities were endless.

You possess this power, too. It's within each of us to reshape our thoughts and, consequently, our lives. By consciously choosing to cultivate thoughts that are good for you and not entertaining the ones that are keeping you small, anxious, or fearful, you can unlock your true potential and create a life that not only meets but exceeds your wildest dreams.

Imagine the freedom and joy of a life unburdened by unnecessary fears and doubts. Imagine being like that lawyer. You have the power to make this your reality.

Here are five tips to help you shift your mindset toward one that is empowering and limitless:

1. Challenge your negative thoughts. The first and most crucial part of changing your negative thinking patterns is noticing and challenging your negative thoughts. When a negative thought pops into your mind, ask yourself if it is based on fact or fear. In 99% of the cases, it will be, so consciously choose to replace it with a more positive and empowering belief.
   An example from my little mantra flashcards (see point two below) is the recurring belief that I held for the longest part of my life (which caused me to choose horrible partners to be with) that I must work to deserve attention or love. I have successfully changed that belief, and it has transformed my life. On my mantra cards (which I still read at least three times a day while listening to a manifestation playlist from Spotify), it says about this belief:
   "I deserve attention and love just because I am. I am enough just as I am. I don't need to work for attention or love. Love is not equal to work. I am lovable just as I am. I don't need to do anything to deserve love."  Repeating these mantras every day for years now has totally changed what I believe about myself and how lovable I am.

2. Create mantra flashcards and read them multiple times every day.  Mantra flashcards are small notes you write to yourself with positive affirmations and empowering beliefs. These could be simple phrases like "I am enough," "I am worthy," or "I am capable." You can add personal mantras that speak to your specific fears or doubts. The key is to read these cards multiple times a day, especially when you're in a negative headspace. This will help to reprogram your subconscious mind and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.
   I have cards for all aspects of my life and thoughts I want to change: my life, my relationships, my work, my goals... I take them with me everywhere and truly enjoy reading them; it's like a tiny meditation multiple times a day that reminds me who I really am and where I'm going. Powerful stuff!

3. Surround yourself with positivity. This can include the people you spend time with, the media you consume, and even your living space. Make an effort to surround yourself with positive and uplifting people who support and encourage you. Follow social media accounts that promote self-love and acceptance, and unfollow those that make you feel like crap. Surround yourself with items that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, whether it's a favorite quote or a piece of art that speaks to your soul.
   By creating a positive environment and having an eye for what I find beautiful and aesthetically pleasing, I am now constantly reminded of my worth and value as a person and the great way I know I can show up for myself and care for my well-being. I surround myself with the life I want to live. And you know what? That's how I create it!

4. Practice gratitude daily. Take a few moments each day (early morning and late night for me) to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can help shift your focus from lack and negativity to abundance and positivity. Repeated daily, it will change your mindset!
   Make sure these are not just little trivial things (although they can be); add in the real stuff too, like, in my case, "I'm grateful that my friend Lena, who is a badass feminist, teaches me how to be a badass woman myself" or "I'm so grateful for the freedom I created for myself to be able to work from anywhere" or "I'm so grateful for that new pink bikini that fits me so well." Yes, I hear you. What if there's nothing for which to be grateful? Well, sorry to break it to you, but that's just a load of BS. There is always, ALWAYS, something to be thankful for. You should write it down even more diligently if you find it hard to find.

5. Visualize your desired outcome. It's essential to bring as many of your dreams and desires into your life now, even if not everything has manifested yet.
   I take time every day to visualize myself living the life of my dreams. It's such an enjoyable experience, and it almost feels real. I go into a lot of details about where I am, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, who I'm with, and even what I'm wearing. This practice helps me stay focused on my goals and motivates me to take action toward making them a reality. It's like creating a roadmap for your life; the best part is that you have complete control over it.

Bonus tip: REMEMBER TO TAKE ACTION! Ultimately, it's all well and good to bathe in the feel-good hormones from imagining your dream life, but you must take action to create a mindset that empowers you and a life that fills you with joy and gratitude. Eventually, you have to go out and do something to materialize it!

Shifting your mindset takes time and effort, but the results are well worth it. Your life will be completely transformed, and you will experience things beyond your wildest dreams. Trust me, it works!

Feeling stuck in your current situation?

You're not alone. Many professionals have the same feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt.

Imagine waking up every day excited about your future, no longer paralyzed by fear or self-sabotaging thoughts. It's time to break free and start living the life you've always dreamed of.

Schedule your free session!

How to stop getting stuck in the Zone of Ideation

Have you ever started to think about something - an event, a business, a job, a partner - and then gotten stuck in this loop where your mind just wanders into every possibility - good and bad, but you never seem to get out of that loop?

If you nodded yes, great. You’re in good company!

When creativity hits, I start doing something with it to prevent myself from getting stuck in that loop of questioning and thinking. Sometimes, though, it’s inevitable, and my mind starts to wander. I begin tothink of all the ways I could do this thing I was just inspired to do, and before I know it, I’ve talked myself into - and out of - a hundred different scenarios for how to bring it to life or if I even should. 

For instance, when I was thinking about doing a book launch in NYC, I walked through all the reasons this was a good idea, all the reasons it was a bad idea, and all the ways I could find the time to organise such an event while also continuing to coach, write, and speak. There were a few days where I was fully present in my mind, going through every scenario of how launching “Get Unstuck!” in NYC could play out. I got so lost thinking about it that I almost didn’t do the work I needed to do to make it happen. 

I was in a loop, and it was getting harder and harder.

I like to call this loop the “Zone of Ideation” (ZOI).

Usually, you hit the ZOI right before you fully enter the tar pit of stuckness. You’ll be traveling along, an idea will hit, and before you can do anything about it, you’ve already started your loop of question, answer, question, distraction, answer, distraction, question, etc. Before you know it, that loop has pulled you into the tar. You’re sinking below its depths as it burbles alongside you. 

You’re stuck.

Our goal is to either avoid the ZOI altogether or pull yourself out of it before you hit the pit. 

So, how do you go about doing that? 

1. Identify your automatic response. Your automatic response is precisely what it sounds like - the response your brain and body make when it experiences a particular stimulus. A good example of an automatic response is breathing. Breathing is so intuitive you don’t even realize you’re doing it - until you’re gasping for it. Another example of an automatic response is how your body feels when you’re called on to share during a work call or your go-to response when someone says how are you. When creativity or an idea hits, what’s your automatic response? Do you burrow and hide? Do you ruminate? Do you start doing? What are the first signs? Make yourself aware of them so we can start to change them. 

2. Change your mindset. I know it sounds simpler said than done, but sometimes, it really is as simple as doing it. When it comes to our mindsets, we’re either fixed or flexible (commonly called a growth mindset). People with fixed mindsets have difficulty changing how they see things. People with flexible mindsets have an easier time changing their views and going with the flow. The best part is that fixed mindsets can become flexible with just a little work. Once you’ve identified your automatic response and which mindset you lean towards, you can start adapting your mindset to fit the desired outcome. 

3. Decide on a goal and stick to it. When you have difficulty retreating from the ZOI, it’s probably because you’ve created several goals and want to achieve all of them at once. Instead, focus on one goal you know you can achieve soon and then go after it. Once you’ve accomplished that goal, you can identify the next - and the next - and the next. Before you know it, you’ll have achieved precisely what you wanted. I like to look at these goals as a bucket list instead. Things that I want to achieve just for me, no one else. The word “goal” makes it sound like it’s for someone else’s benefit or some external reward. Bucket list items are solely for me and I can pursue them slowly and with meaning. 

When you enter the ZOI, it can be tough to pull yourself out before getting truly stuck. However, the more you practice the steps above, the easier it will be. Then, one day, avoiding the ZOI or getting unstuck more quickly will become second nature to you. 

P.S. Don’t forget Get Unstuck! is now on the shelves on Amazon! If you’re interested in how to get unstuck when you’re sinking in the tar pit of stuckness, this book is the only roadmap you’ll need! Click here to find the Amazon site nearest to you.

Dangerously close to the Zone of Ideation?

My clients know that mindset work is one of my favorite things to do with them. It is so incredible to see them think one way and then shift not only their mindset but also their actions within a short time.

If you feel like the ZOI is pulling you in, forcing you to focus on all the things that could be from this one idea, it’s time to learn some new tools!

Schedule your free session!

Experiencing technical difficulties: Sometimes things don’t go your way, and that’s okay…

My newest book, Get Unstuck! came out today!

And if you just did a double take at that or thought I wrote the wrong date, you are half right…

Originally, Get Unstuck! was set to launch on October 25th - however - God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, had other plans for me. What should have been a simple change of date turned into a major issue that required technical assistance and a whole lot of faith. 

Several things added to this debacle, including formatting issues, communication disruptions, and serious technical glitches that could have derailed the entire launch. And I truly believe that my behavior during those 12 hours is the reason that things worked out so well.

Think about it - the last time something threw you for a loop and ruined your day, did any of the next five tasks go well? Or did your day suddenly rush off course, crash, and burn? 

I’m guessing it was the latter. 

That’s because our mindset impacts our attitude, which impacts our environment, which, in turn, impacts our mindset. If you have a fixed mindset - one that doesn’t do well with change or challenges - you might find that your day is completely trashed because of one issue early on. You can’t shake out of the negative headspace that “everything will go wrong.” 

But, if you have a growth mindset, you can see the issue for what it is and stop yourself from carrying it in the next moment of the day. You go into problem-solving mode and work to fix things without reacting.  

The truth is, ten years ago, I definitely would have freaked out. My entire week would have been ruined and I would have fallen victim to all the worst-case scenarios. This time, though, I saw the situation for what it was - a chance to practice what I preach and not have it impact my whole day. The issue was fixed and while it was a bummer that my initial pre-orders were canceled because of an Amazon glitch, I know there’s a reason for it. 

My attitude is positively impacting my environment, which is positively impacting my mindset, which is reinforcing my positive attitude. 

So how can you cultivate a growth mindset and steer clear of attitude derailments? Follow the steps below to get a peak into what I do every day to prevent my mind from wandering into negativity territory.

1. Accept the situation. I think a lot of the issues we get with our mindset come from refusing to acknowledge that what is happening is happening. Whatever the situation, you have to accept that it is happening so you can prevent it from following you into every other situation that day. For example, if you spill coffee on class notes and start chiding yourself for being a terrible coffee sipper, that mindset will follow you into the next task. You might find that you are dropping more things, cajoling yourself, and breaking things unnecessarily. However, if you spill the coffee and start cleaning it up without making yourself feel bad, your subconscious will recognize that mistakes happen and it doesn’t have to affect the rest of your day.

2. Think about how your favorite person would react. If you admire someone like Ghandi or Amelia Earheart, think about how they would react in a moment of strife. Would they crumble and let the bad mood follow them? Or would they problem solve their way out of it and protect their peace? I’m gonna go with the second option.

3. Set realistic goals. This might not sound like something you can do after an issue pops up, but the reality is that setting realistic goals is something you can do all along the way, whatever is happening in the moment. If you’re working on something and you realize the timeline you’ve given yourself is too fast paced, it’s okay to slow down and switch it up.

4. Try something new. If you’ve noticed that your reaction negatively impacts every other area of your life, it’s time to try something new. Part of having a growth mindset is trying new things and finding what works for you in a particular situation - and knowing that it can evolve over time.

5. Check in with yourself. Probably the most important thing to do when trying to cultivate a growth mindset is to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about what just happened? What emotions are coming up? Who do you hear in your head that is hurting your heart? How do you think you’d feel if you responded in a different way? 

The only thing we are responsible for - and in control of - are our own reactions. If we are constantly getting overwhelmed with things and outcomes we can’t control, we won’t get anything done and we will constantly be living in fear. 

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to live in that headspace any longer. 

P.S. you can order Get Unstuck! today on Kindle, paperback, or hardcover!

Ready to ditch the fixed mindset?

Our mindset determines so much about our day to day reactions, but also our longterm mental health. Those of us with growth mindsets react more healthily to problems. Whereas people with fixed mindsets can let their frustrations overtake them, getting them stuck without the will to MOVE.

If you want to learn how to change your mindset, get unstuck, and start MOVE-in’, I can help!

Schedule your free session!

How to Improve Your Life and Business

Have you ever thought about how incredibly limiting the word “but” is? It’s like a stop sign, halting us on our journey. Even when we are agreeing with someone, the moment “but” comes out of our mouths, it negates everything we just said.

“You’re right, but…”

“Okay, I will, but…”

“Yes, I will clean that up, but…”

“But” is a fatalistic word. When you use it, you redirect the conversation from what could be to what cannot. Unconsciously, when we “yes, but”, we give into the fear and hesitation that are holding us back, without realizing it. When you throw a “but” at something, you’ve predetermined that some outcome is inevitable. You stop yourself from following through. “Yes, buts” are excuses wrapped up to look like agreements. That’s why they’re so important to spot. 

“Yes, and” on the other hand is the key to infinite possibilities.

Every few years, I try to do something to get out of my comfort zone and push my limits. So a few years ago, I enrolled in an improv class. Anyone who knows me personally knows that this was VERY outside of my comfort zone. I’m an introvert and love my alone time, so the idea of taking this class was quite overwhelming, and it did, admittedly, take a while for me to get into it. But once I did, I was hooked!

During this class, I was taught the concept of “yes, and.” In improv, “yes, and” keeps the bit going, keeping the theater goers, and the cast members, on their toes, pushing the story along. By using this word, cast members are fostering cooperation and communication between one another, rather than shutting down, and, in turn, they’re able to build trust with one another quickly. Which is what makes the whole process fun for them and the theater goer. 

Now, what if we take that model and apply it to business and life? In business, “yes, and” actually encourages you to listen and be receptive to the ideas of others. It creates trust between parties and encourages you to try out different strategies for success. Even if you’re a solo entrepreneur without a team, this method will inhibit you from making excuses for yourself and pushes you to stay open to the possibilities that surround you. 

Think about it! When you’re trying to come up with a new client workflow, but you keep stopping yourself because of your fear of how long it will take to implement, you’re saying, “Yes, I agree I need a new workflow, but it will take too much time.” If you’re like me, you spiral and start thinking about all the things you will have to change, all the different systems you will have to implement, and how you are going to explain it to your clients. Doing so you create what I refer to as a “mountain”: an insurmountable melting pot of all the things that you believe need to happen before you can actually do the thing. That’s what “but” does to life, it creates mountains to climb instead of showing you a walkable path forward. But (pun intended) if we use the “yes, and” method, we are focusing on the end goal - having a streamlined workflow that will make our lives easier in the end. 

Let me give you an example from my own business. In 2021, I decided to transfer my website over from one web host to another. This was a HUGE undertaking and one that I had been putting off for - literally - years. Instead of continuing to say, “yes I should do that, but the workload will be too much for me.” I thought, “yes I should do that, and I will start small.” It took me a while, but over the course of six months or so, I had moved everything over from Wordpress to Squarespace, including the manual transfer of 250 blog posts! - which has allowed me to improve my SEO and the performance of my  website in such a way that allowed my coaching practice to grow exponentially - essentially improving my life and business.

Ready to trade your “buts” for “ands?” Here are my five best tips to start improv-ing your business and life, getting unstuck, and leaving yourself open for the possibilities that are just around the corner:

1. Commit to “yes, and.” from now on. It’s not enough to just say yes, you have to commit to it. Change your mindset for the long-term, make it a habit to avoid the word “but” as much as you can. . 

2. Be part of the team. Listen to your teammates, whether they are your business partner, spouse, or children, with an open mind. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but you need to respect their suggestions and consider how they might work for your particular issue. 

3. Be part of the solution. Don’t just ask questions and point out obstacles, instead share ideas and work on the solution with your team. Keep adding creatively to what you are building, and let flow and inspiration guide you.

4. Recognize that there are no mistakes, only opportunities. Some of the best ideas will come from accidents. If you say “but” to everything, you won’t give yourself the chance to experience new things - and fail at them. Failure deserves to be celebrated, AND to be learned from 🙂

5. Make sure your team has your back. Your team should be made up of people who will push you into taking new opportunities and trying out new strategies, rather than sitting back and letting you call all the shots. Even the best employers or business owners need a gut check from someone they trust.

Remember, these tips will also work easily for a solo entrepreneur without a team. Instead of focusing on collaborating with others, you are focusing on dropping your internal guards and learning to acknowledge what you really want out of your life and business. Do you want to work 60 hour weeks? Do you want to build in monthly retreats for yourself? Are there days you want to keep your children home from daycare? The “yes, and” method will help you lead you to greater self-trust and confidence, which will, infinitely, enhance your life and business. 

The point of the “yes, and” method is to allow you to become more adaptable to change. The businesses that do the best work are the ones that can encourage new ideas and perspectives, stay flexible, and stay open to new possibilities.

The key is to treat your life and business like an improv class. Keep your heart and mind open to the suggestions of others - even your inner child - and before you say “yes, but,” think about what opportunities saying “yes, and” could bring about. 

What would change? How would your life and business improve if you said yes and then became a part of the collective intelligence, of the amazing experience that is your life?

Afraid to say, “yes, and?”

It can be overwhelming to try new things or to follow through on elaborate plans. Saying, “yes, and” can be scary, but the possibilities it opens you and your business up to are worth the fear. I tell my clients all the time to just take a leap! One step in front of the other until you are out in open air, soaring above the ground.

You are capable of scary things and I’m here to help! In our coaching sessions, I help my clients identify the cliff, assemble the parachute, and take that first - or tenth - step towards the edge. We will review your “yes, buts,” and see how your life and business can improve with a little “yes, and” flip!

Schedule your free session!

The Complicated Life of a Creative: Why It's Okay to Want More Out of Life

Are you feeling stuck in your life or work, even though it looks great on the outside? Do you feel like everything is fine and you should feel blessed, but you're still unhappy?

You're not alone. Last week, a client shared how he felt unfulfilled at work even though he has a "dream job" and asked, "why can't I just be happy with what I have?" The truth is: it's not because, on the outside, it looks like you're successful that you feel that way on the inside.

Creatives, in particular, need to understand how their brains are wired and what they need to do to be happy. You tend not to like boredom or continuous repetition of similar tasks. You crave variety and something creative that makes you want to get up in the morning. You will inevitably become bored and unfulfilled if you don't have this in your day-to-day activities.

It's okay to want more out of life - we all deserve our dreams

It's important to acknowledge that needing more is okay - we should feel no shame for wanting more out of life! But it's also essential to know when not to quit and push through even if things start feeling too routine or monotonous. Otherwise, you might miss out on opportunities that could bring you joy and fulfillment.

It's important to remember that feeling stuck is normal and doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It's a sign that it's time to reassess your goals and develop strategies to approach them differently or be creative in finding new solutions. The key is to find a balance between pushing through when needed and knowing when it's time for a change.

Creativity is an essential part of our lives, and boredom can be a real issue for creative types. If you need more variety in your life or work to keep you interested, it's easy to become unfulfilled. It's essential to recognize what you need so that you can make positive changes in your life. Here are a few things that can help:

#1 Understand your creative brain.

If you're feeling stuck in life or work, take time for self-reflection and use this as an opportunity to learn more about how your creative brain works. Psycho-education is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself as a creative. It will help you to understand your needs better and make better decisions.

Understanding that a lot of the things you think are flaws and negative about yourself (seemingly not being able to stick to things, always wanting something new, scattered focus, and so on) is part of your creative wiring will enable you to harness the power of your creative abilities and make better decisions.

#2 Give yourself permission to try different things.

It's okay not to know what you want or what direction you're going in. Try something new and explore your options. This doesn't mean you have to quit your job right away or that it's an all-or-nothing thing (a trap many creatives, entrepreneurs, and generalists fall into) - it might just mean trying something new on the side or experimenting with other creative outlets.

When you give yourself permission to try different things, you open up the possibilities and learn more about what makes you happy and fulfilled. You'll be able to take back control over your life and find a way to make things work for you - even if it's not exactly how you initially expected them to.

#3 Take a break from the routine.

When you feel the itch telling you something is boring or has become too easy or repetitive, sometimes, getting away for a short time is all that's needed to reset and recharge. Whether it's taking a weekend off or just taking a walk around the block, take some time for yourself so that you can come back feeling refreshed and inspired again!

The complicated life of a creative can be frustrating at times, but knowing that it's okay to feel stuck and not knowing precisely what you want to do doesn't have to be anxiety-inducing. By allowing yourself to explore different paths, and taking regular breaks away from the routine, you can make positive changes in your life and find fulfillment.

#4 Feed your creative spark.

There's nothing worse for a creative than a life without a creative spark, where there seems to be no freedom to explore, learn new things, or express yourself. Feeding your creative spark is vital for feeling fulfilled and inspired, so be sure to find ways to stoke the fire in your life.

One of the best ways to break out of a rut and find your creative spark again is to do something completely different. Not only will this spark creativity and help get your juices flowing again (literally!), but it can also open up possibilities that you never thought were available. This might mean making time for a passion project, learning something new, or taking on an exciting challenge. It could also mean taking regular breaks away from work and doing things that will refresh your mind and refuel your creativity.

#5 Surround yourself with supportive people.

Finally, remember that plenty of creatives and entrepreneurs feel your pain and go through it themselves. It's helpful to surround yourself with like-minded people who are interested in the same struggles and successes that you are. Whether it's a friend, a mentor, or a coach - having someone to turn to for encouragement can be invaluable when feeling stuck.

By understanding your creative tendencies, giving yourself permission to explore different paths, and taking regular breaks away from the routine - as well as feeding your creative spark and surrounding yourself with supportive people - you too can find a sense of fulfillment and joy in your life. So don't let yourself be stuck - go out and make something great!

No matter how successful your life appears on the outside, it's okay to feel stuck. It doesn't make you a failure or someone who doesn't know what you want. We all need variety in our lives to stay inspired and motivated. Remembering this can help us take steps toward our goals while still accepting where we are in the present moment. With patience and perseverance, you can make the changes in your life that will bring about more satisfaction and joy.

Being honest with yourself about what you need is the first step toward making positive changes. So if you're feeling stuck or unfulfilled, don't be afraid to admit it and seek some support or guidance. Good luck!

Feeling bored and unfulfilled? You're not alone.

There must be more to life than this. Why can't I be happy with what I have?

Private coaching can help you figure out what you want in life and how to get there. With the help of a coach, you can finally start living the life you've always wanted. Coaching is an investment in yourself - one that will pay off for years to come.

Schedule your free session!

The life-changing power of doing things slowly

Can you remember a time when you did something so slowly you really got to enjoy it and build a memory? (Using a phone doesn’t count!)

While I was tying up the final bits and pieces of my From Overwhelm to Flow Training (it took me close to 8 weeks to write it) – something incredible happened. I had an epiphany. A *real* moment of awareness. The kind that knocks you off your feet, makes you think you’re dreaming and leaves you wondering what just happened.

This labor of love (and sweat, blood, and tears – OK just that first one but you can’t blame a writer for wanting to add a dash of drama, now can you?) is everything I know about achieving flow, soul, and ease both in your personal life as well as your work. The best part? A free 7-day life (and sanity) saver is waiting for you. Sign-ups happen over here.

Where was I? Oh yes, it all happened in the blink of an eye.

I was walking back from the kitchen to my desk, a cup of hot coffee in my hand. Suddenly it hit me: I’d finally done it! I’d turned this idea that had been swirling around in my head for a long time into 30,000(-ish) carefully thought out, and actionable words.

Although this isn’t the first time I’ve written a course or training, something was different. For the first time in my life, I’d taken the time to create – slowly. Not rush my way through the process, but pacing myself. This is big, because I’m programmed for the opposite…

Fast-paced.
Always on.
Working against the clock.

Looking back, that’s how I spent a big part of (probably most) of my adult life. Especially when business and work are concerned.

Stressed-out.
Always in a hurry.
Feeling as if the clock was always working against me.

There was never a moment to rest, let alone gather to my thoughts.

A lot of people will tell you this is one of my strengths. Early in my career those same traits often qualified me as ambitious. The first time someone said that of me I didn’t *understand* what it meant. In fact, I felt a little insulted, with the people-pleasing perfectionist in me needing CPR. Together with her, we decided that we didn’t like the word. So we dismissed it as an oddity. Not something that applied to me.

All the while I kept doing. More. And more. And more.

Then, the epiphany. As I was making my way back to my desk, ready to sit down, hot coffee in hand. There it was. I’d done something I loved doing, and I’d taken the time to do it.

Slowly. Without feeling guilty. Without giving up on other things for it.

In what must have been a fraction of a second, my life played out in front of me like a movie. My father working relentlessly, me copycatting that behaviour, the many months and years spent trying to achieve an absurd idea of success and equating my worth with it. But also: the pressure, anxiety, fears and limiting beliefs that accompanied me everywhere I went.

Always on. Fast-paced. Working against the clock.

It was unsustainable. Hard. Not to mention doomed to fail. What so many had mistaken for ambition. *Ouch*

I was stuck in the tyranny of the endless to-do list, the hamster wheel of relentless productivity, the never-ending and exhausting cycle of overwork and perfection. Perhaps you are too…

Since 2010 I’ve been on a journey back to sanity. It took me to so many places.

Mindfulness training.
Transcendental meditation practice.
Yoga.
Self-love.
Self-care.
Daily journaling.
Reading – lots of reading.
Minimalism.
Essentialism.
All those other -isms I can’t think of right now.

They’ve all been important pieces of the puzzle, for many different reasons. They also all have one thing in common: they’ve taught me to SLOW DOWN. So I can…

be in the now,
give my mind a break,
feel my body,
receive unconditional love,
organize my thoughts,
learn what matters most,
have more space to be,
have more time to live,
let go of what doesn’t serve me,
do so many other amazing things.

Slowing down is beautiful and powerful.

In fact, it might well be the biggest secret to success I’ve ever learned. The one that allows time and space to be part of everything I do. That says it’s OK to take my time, to think, to create bit by bit.

Fast is a lie that will cost you money – like when you redo your website three times in two years because you’re still figuring out your brand (true story). Will stress you out – like when you give yourself an unattainable deadline simply because you picked that date and won’t change it now (I mean, you know). Will lead to bad decisions, big mistakes, and in the end a hell of a lot of freakin’ wasted time.

So many of us (I’m one of them) underestimate what we can accomplish over longer periods of time yet SYSTEMATICALLY overestimate what we can accomplish in shorter ones.

The truth is: slow will get you further.

By starting with the notion that creating needs tending, that beautiful things take time to grow, that we can only nurture – not force – anything into being, we give ourselves something invaluable.

The gift of slow

Today I want to invite you to make a small inventory of the most wonderful things you wish for in your life but are hesitant to get started with. Ask yourself if the gift of slow could help. Imagine you had all the time in the world to accomplish them (which you LITERALLY have, that’s the whole point of this essay :)).

What would you get started with?

PS: Don’t forget to sign up for the Free Smart Work™ Challenge. It will help you to take things slowly too.

How to define success for yourself

We spend a big part of our lives doing as we’re told. We’re learning from teachers, peers, books and the world. This is called social conditioning. We can’t help it. We get rewarded and punished as children. Ultimately we want to feel safe, loved and like we belong. That follows us into adulthood. This is important to know as we look to define success on your own terms – what it means to us often takes shape from what we’re taught.

Go to school, find a partner, get a career (and not just any career). Then comes marriage, the house with picket fences, a dog, 2.4 children. Today, many of these milestones (especially the material ones) are out the window for a lot of people (who can afford a mortgage on a million-dollar home in the city!?).

Likewise, success changed over time. If we only focus on success as a monetary measure – or define our worth based on our professional achievements – we risk never finding satisfaction in what we do, or who we are.

Today, no one stays at one job for their lifetime. Houses in major cities are expensive, and there’s a palpable spiritual restlessness, a nagging voice that keeps on asking: “are you truly happy with the ‘success’ you have right now?”

For many, the answer is “no”. I know it was for me.

Until I was forced to awaken to the truth of my professional life: I was living someone else’s dream. I was making money but I wasn’t happy. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more out there for me.

What followed was a 10-year Odysseus-like trip back home – a journey, both physical and internal, that turned my social conditioning upside down. The journey required reflection, struggle, and for me to create my own version of success based on my own desires, rather than grasping for other people’s definitions.

Some things you have to figure out.

I want you to take a transformative journey through what success means to you. To define success on your own terms you must look at…

#1 Your Why

Why is success important to you and what will that look like? What will happen if you keep the same definition of success you’ve been taught, will it lead you down a happy road?

#2 Your Values

What beliefs are non-negotiable on your journey to success? Freedom from guilt? Freedom from your parents? Joy? Determination? More work hours? Do you sacrifice time with family? Your health? What do you value?

#3 Your Talents

Reflect on your talents and where you felt most successful. Was it problem-solving something no one else could? Was it getting creative? Are you a great speaker or researcher?

#4 What Brings You Joy

What truly made you happy and joyful the last time you felt successful?

The way you love to spend your time means knowing that time is the new currency you cannot buy. The past is gone and you only have now (you can’t control the future, it hasn’t even happened yet!). How are you spending your time?

Who you like to surround yourself with – we often hear about toxic behaviours, problematic friends but setting boundaries so you feel you can participate in healthy and reciprocal relationships means assessing who you surround yourself with, and clearing space if necessary.

What brings you rest, feeds your soul – when are you in the flow? When does happiness come easy to you? Who’s with you in those moments, and what are you doing?

Those are all clues into what success means to you, and how you can create it for yourself. Success is not a singular thing or material object. In fact, there’s not enough money in the world to buy your way into it.

True success is a way of life.

Michelle Obama said, “Success isn’t how much money you make but how much of a difference you make in people’s lives.” The first person this applies to is yourself.

How much difference are you making in YOUR life?

Then, there’s a bigger dimension.

We forget how important it is to place the individual within a community. Self-development and concepts like success can get individualistic. But you can apply your talents and skills towards a higher purpose. Be sure to open your eyes from the social conditioning of society, parents, and capitalism that tells you what you should do.

Question everything by being discerning and compassionate.

From all of this, you can truly start to design your own life. Like Ulysses in Homer’s epic story, venturing into a new land, without a home or identity and struggling to both establish one and avoid one at the same time.

Your identity and relationship with “success” can evolve on this journey.

You can have a past, but it doesn’t have to define your future.