Why I meditate before I coach, and other things I so to create space for my clients
When I started coaching, I didn’t have a clue about what coaching really was. I came to sessions to the best of my abilities, and wholeheartedly, with a genuine desire to help my clients, but I wasn’t really creating the sacred coaching space that makes the experience so incredible, and life-changing.
It took me to enroll in the Beautiful You Coaching Academy to really learn the ropes of coaching, and to understand how important it is to be fully present for my clients. That’s why I now meditate before I coach, and why I have created a powerful ritual for myself, that I perform before every coaching session. And what I want to do today, is share with what that ritual is all about, and how I learned of it’s importance during my time at the coaching academy.
How I discovered I was meant to be a coach
From as far back as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to help people. If there’s one passion in my life that has been with me every step of my journey, this is the one. Even as a little girl, the only thing I ever wanted to do was help. Someone would lose something, and I would be the one looking for it for hours. A bird would be injured in our garden, and I would tend to it day and night until it was whole again, and ready to fly away. Whatever it was, I couldn’t help myself (no pun intended), helping was just part of my DNA.
Now my life story is definitely messy, and although helping others remained at my core, for a long time I silenced the need to express it. After college I went on to climb the so-called corporate ladder, I started freelancing, then created my first company.
I did everything I though was expected of me, and helping others wasn’t really part of that. But even through my work at the time, I found ways to still offer advice and help. And eventually, six years ago, a personal tragedy made me realize that your true self can never fully be silenced, and that it will always come back to you, and ask to be expressed. At least, it did with me.
From business consulting to career, business and leadership coaching
Since I was already helping my business client with more than just their projects, I decided to transition into business consulting, and eventually business coaching. At first the sessions where very masculine in nature, and concentrated mostly on the financial goals, and success aspirations of my clients. But as time went on, I felt that I needed more tools, and a better understanding of coaching to be able to really help my clients. Because I noticed that whatever goals they were coming at me with, there was an underlying feeling, a hunger for a more fulfilling life, a quest for happiness that couldn’t be ignored.
And so I enrolled in the Beautiful You Coaching Academy. To this day one of the best decisions of my life. The place were I learned the true meaning of self-love, compassion, and sisterhood. And where I understood how to create sacred space, something I had never done before, but that I’ve now come to value as one of the most important parts of coaching.
What is creating space?
You might be wondering what sacred space is, and if you are, you’re not alone. Although I’ve been creating space for my clients for a while now, I’m still amazed at how powerful, and magical that space really is. And how unique it is to be able to create it for someone else, like a client.
To me creating sacred space looks kind of similar to what is known as speech acts in language philosophy. We perform speech acts when we “open a ceremony”, or “pronounce a couple husband and wife” for instance. Or when we offer an apology, greeting, request, complaint, or anything else of that sort. Basically something is created when it is spoken, as you cannot open a ceremony without speaking the words – the actual act that is born when the words are expressed.
With creating sacred space, I feel something alike is happening.
As a witness, through the work with my clients, I’ve seen how sacred space is real, and although invisible to the naked eye, clearly there for the soul. And the way it’s created is through a bond between coach and client, where the client is open to receiving and accepts the gift of total presence, and where the coach is creating, and holding that space for the client. Almost in a mystical way – and I mean that in the most literal sense of the word. And as such, it’s not an easy thing to do, and something that you must commit to as a coach, and that you cannot take lightly, or rush into.
Holding space requires:
Work: as a coach you have to open the space, and keep it open for your client, that’s why it’s so important to prepare well for it (see below).
Respect: coach and client enter this sacred space from a place of respect for one another, with lack thereof there is no sacred space created.
Trust: as a client you must fully trust that your coach has your best interest at heart, and will do nothing but help you achieve your goals, if not there is no sacred space created.
Presence: as a coach you must enter this sacred space stripped from all your worries, and the things that distract you from holding space for your client, again one of the reasons why preparing for your sessions is so important.
Love: and finally (although this list is in no way exhaustive!) I believe that to create sacred space as a coach you need love. Love for your client, love for the work, love for the learnings of each and every session, and love for life itself.
Creating space for my coaching clients
Ever since I graduated from the academy, and became a Certified Beautiful You Life Coach, I’ve been working on putting together a ritual for creating sacred space for my clients. This ritual has become a cornerstone of my coaching practice, and something that couldn’t do without anymore.
Of course, before any coaching session, I always go over my coaching notes, and review homework, comments, or anything else that my clients have sent to me about their actions. And yes, this definitely helps to prepare. But it doesn’t guarantee that I won’t be going into the session with my own stuff, or that I’ll be able to be fully present.
But I find that it’s essential to create sacred space for my client, hence the ritual. Before any coaching session I take around 20 minutes to fully prepare.
During those 20 minutes I:
go over my coaching notes, and anything else that I need to review to be fully prepared for the session;
think about my values, remember why I do what I do, how strongly I feel about wanting to serve this client, and ask what I need to do to be fully present for her in this moment;
feel into the love, respect, trust that I have for my clients, myself, and the coaching process;
use the final five to ten minutes of this prep time to do a powerful meditation, focused on letting go of all my stuff, and preparing myself to create sacred space in the present moment.
Coaching is a layered process
I’ve come a long way since my early days as a business coach. Transitioning into the feminist, women empowerment, and sisterhood coach I am today, working with so many different, and inspiring women, has made me understand that coaching is a layered process, not only for my clients, but also for me – as a coach. And that’s really what I love so much about it. It’s one of those things where doing really is becoming.
The more I coach, the more I become aware of myself, and in turn the better a coach I become. That’s why this ritual is so important, and powerful.
And if you’re thinking about becoming a coach…
If you’re interested in learning more about becoming a life coach, and creating sacred space for your clients, you might want to check out the BYCA, as I can only recommend you enroll in the Beautiful You Coaching Academy. Through my own experience, and that of so many of my fellow academy trainees, I can only say it’s one of the best life coaching courses around (I absolutely want to say the best, but OK I’ll be a little humble).
And if you enroll through my affiliate link, you’ll get a unique bonus package from me (with a total value of €1259 / $1405):
A 3-month / 6-session coaching series with me to help you work towards your certification.
Access to The Loft, my membership program, free of charge for the entire period of your studies at the academy.
50% discount on tickets for my Live Sisterhood Retreats for the entire duration of your studies.
So check out the Beautiful You Coaching Academy website now
And before you go, in the comments below, do tell me why do you want to become a life coach? And if you are already a life coach, what’s your pre-coaching ritual? How do you like to create space for your clients? I’d really love to know.
