#13 Feminist marketing and how I apply it in my business

Podcast transcript:

Happy Monday! I’m so happy with all the feedback on last week's episode. I received a lot of finger counts! So great to know there are so many creative generalists listening! If you don't know what I'm talking about, give it a listen later on. 

Today I want to focus on feminist marketing and inclusive principles and how I apply them in my business. The people in my life, my friends and family, know that I'm a feminist who hates injustice, ignorance and thrives for inclusion ; that I do active antiracist work, and how important it is to me for that to be reflected in my work.

Although this episode will share my best practices as an entrepreneur, whatever your work is, or even in your personal life, principles that put forth equality and justice are always sound and help shape a better and more equal world.

About six years ago, I enrolled in an online program called "feminist marketing for culture makers." The program was run by Kelly Diels, whom I'd come across through an essay she wrote entitled "female lifestyle empowerment brand." I still share that essay with anyone interested in online marketing, especially for selling online service-based businesses like coaching and consulting.

The term "female lifestyle empowerment brand" was coined by Kelly to give a name to a toxic performance lifestyle marketing that had become the norm in the coaching and personal growth industry at the time. The messages of this type of marketing are all about living a luxury lifestyle, traveling the world, buying expensive designer bags and clothes, and, of course, the allure of making a ton of money within a few weeks. Although this messaging and marketing looks appealing - who wouldn't want to be living the life of the 1% under capitalism? - there are some serious issues with it.

First, it's a very exclusive marketing tactic to sell expensive services. This might attract people who can afford it, but also many who can't, which raises ethical questions about the tactics used to sell those expensive services and packages, and the pressure put on people to "invest" in themselves when money might be tight.

What this type of lifestyle marketing does is sell a kind of life. It's about looking good, having money, and living a life achievable to only a few people. None of this is inclusive. The marketing itself thrives on inequality.

I was in for a hot ride when I stepped into the virtual classroom with Kelly and my fellow students. It was a deep dive into my own biases, blind spots, and my internalized capitalism and misogyny. I felt like I couldn't say anything right the first few months. I was the only European (Belgian) in a group of educated American social activists and feminists. I kept on saying the wrong thing and asking the wrong questions.

I remember one time, in particular, we were sharing some of our struggles with online marketing, and - out of a reflex of trying to do good - I started giving feedback and offering potential solutions to some of the problems the other women were sharing. I didn't realize that nobody had asked for my opinion or even needed it.

A few days after class, Kelly posted a message on our online workspace saying, "We should listen to our friends here without giving advice." Point taken! It was the day I understood my many biases and the concept of asking for consent. Something that I now cherish and apply in my life daily. But that was just one of the many instances in which I felt I'd better have kept my mouth shut and listened. I'm grateful for this group and the course; everyone was gracious and patient with me. You might expect that from contemporary feminists, as inclusivity is one of the foundational values.

It's an intersection I particularly like. It's the belief in solidarity through empathy and a common struggle, including not just women in the journey towards equality but also seeking to encompass diversity in all its forms. That's the kind of feminism I practice, both in my business and in my life.

I learned a lot from Kelly's course, and this work got me out of my comfort zone - as it should be. The course showed me how to think critically about my motivations and intentions when doing business and how to look at the broader impact of what I do. It made me dig deep for my truth about what I believe to be true about the world and examine if there is any disconnect between what I say and do on the surface and what truly motivates me from within. 

I knew I didn't want my life, my coaching business - or any other business I might run now and in the future - to do harm or be misaligned with my values. First feminist marketing and, later, the broader concept of inclusive feminism was the answer for me. For teaching me about inclusivity, diversity, and equality, I owe a lot to some of my favorite clients and friends, such as Hanan Challouki, Sana Sellami, Loubna Tallal, and Hamza Ouamaari. They are all superstars, and I'm grateful to have them as friends and teachers.

What is feminist marketing?

In a nutshell, it's about understanding and respecting the needs of everyone in our society - including those who are marginalized or disadvantaged. It's also about understanding that we all have different experiences and perspectives on life and that these should be embraced as part of our collective journey toward social justice.

In my work, I strive to create platforms where people can come together around common goals - regardless of their backgrounds or circumstances. I also attempt to ensure that my resources and services are accessible to everyone - within what I can do. That's what inclusive feminism means to me - creating equitable systems for everyone.

What does feminist marketing and being inclusive look like in my business?

#1 In my business and life, I try to create safety as much as possible. 

As a survivor of childhood trauma, I didn't have a safe space growing up. I had to teach myself how to do that through my experiences, intensive therapy, and the support of my inner circle of friends. I also never learned how to build safe and lasting connections with people. Safety in relationships is something you cultivate and must practice every day. It's an ongoing process that requires courage and vulnerability, but it's absolutely worth it.

In my work, I strive to create a safe and inclusive space for people to share their stories and experiences. Whomever I come in contact with, I do it with a beginner's mind and an open heart. It's true that people will sometimes take advantage of me for standing in the world that way, so that's where prudence comes in, as my spiritual mentor so beautifully puts it. Most of the time, though, you end up being rewarded for your openness with beautiful and lasting connections.

One thing that has been particularly helpful in teaching myself how to do this has been practicing the art of active listening - which involves really listening to what people say, validating their feelings and experiences, and asking questions that help draw out their deeper thoughts, feelings, and perspectives.

In coaching, we learn to backtrack, a technique where you give back to a client what they shared using their exact words. I've become quite good at it, but sometimes I will still interpret their words and give them back their thoughts using my words. It never works. When someone says they were "stressed out," don't track back by saying they were "anxious or tired." That's your interpretation of the situation, but not theirs.

If you want proof of what I'm saying, think of romantic relationships, where "I'll be home soon" or "yes, I'll do it in a minute" tends to bend time like Einstein's theory of relativity. Hahaha, well, just don't assume - is what I'm trying to say! Use the words given to you, and if you need clarification about what they mean, ask! This brings me to the next point.

#2 I try to speak to people the way they want to be spoken to

I try to be mindful of my language when communicating, making sure to use neutral words - such as "partner" or "collaborator" rather than overtly gendered terms. These little adjustments can make a big difference. And avoid a lot of little microaggressions that pile up and make someone feel like they don't belong.

One way to know how someone wants to be spoken to is to ask them! I know this sounds so trivial, but we hardly ever do it. I know that nobody - except for my feminist and inclusive friends and colleagues - asks me how I want to be spoken to. Everyone assumes that because I have a woman's features, that is how I relate to the world. In my case, it is, but that doesn't mean everyone is the same. So I try to remain mindful of this by asking and using more gender-neutral terms when talking to other people.

#3 I make my resources and services available to everyone

I also try to ensure that my resources and services are available to everyone regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, race, or any other factor. It doesn't mean I'm for everyone. Some people will naturally not be interested in working with me, and that's fine. But if someone does, and we're a good match, I will support that person in achieving their goals.

For instance, I don't charge more for people who ask for a payment plan for my services. I know it's common practice in the online services world to ask more if someone needs to pay in several installments, but this goes against my values. If someone could pay for my work in full, they likely would. Why would I make them pay more if it's already a stretch, and they need a few months to cover their investment in my services? It makes no sense to me.

For those who can't afford my services, I offer several scholarship options and even a few free series a year. Sometimes I'll do exchanges, where the labor I put in and the labor the client puts into the work are fair and equal. I note this on my website, inviting everyone to ask about it!

#4 I'm mindful of the images and stories I use for marketing

When I choose images and stories to use in my marketing materials, I pick diverse and representative ones of many different backgrounds, genders, and identities. I reject stereotypical roles and images as they don't help move society forward.

I am transparent and open about my work, and on my about page, I mention the mentors and teachers that have helped me build my body of work the most. Their work and wisdom have helped shape my practice, and I give them credit and gratitude. I include inclusive language in my copy and explain my services in simple, respectful terms.

Inclusive feminism is about understanding our different experiences and backgrounds and respecting them as part of our collective journey toward social justice and equity. It's also about working daily to minimize your biases (and believe me, we all have many) and to stop assuming that your experience as a human being is the same as everyone else.

Last year I went to a women empowerment conference with a few friends who are muslim. In a crowd of almost 800 the 3 of them were the only ones wearing hijabs. Two of those had the same color, a beautiful gold-brown. One of them delivered an amazing keynote at that event, after which women (from the all white audience) came up to the other one to congratulate her on her talk. Talk about blind spots. 

As a business owner, embodying and championing inclusion is one of the most powerful things we can do to create a better world for everyone - and it starts with us! We all have the option to challenge our own shortcomings, stereotypes, the oppressive systems we live in, and to work together toward collective liberation. That's what it’s all about for me - recognizing our interconnectedness and striving for equal rights for everyone involved.

#5 I choose collaboration over competition

Finally, I choose collaboration over competition. We can all benefit from learning from each other and working together towards our goals.

In recent years, when I have had new project ideas, which for a creative generalist with an activist heart like mine happens often, I look for ways to collaborate with others to create something bigger than what either of us could have done alone. It's good for the project and the social impact it can have and everyone involved - as it allows us to learn from each other and build stronger relationships. This year, for instance, I'm working on a super cool thing for the Fall with incredible people, without which none of it would be possible.

Celebrating success stories, no matter how small, is also a big part of how I believe business should be done. My goal is to help amplify the voices of those who are often unheard and overlooked while also promoting a culture of collaboration instead of competition. I'm also willing and able to open doors for others, "pass the mic," as they say, to someone else, and boost their work whenever possible.

#6 I use my money to support ethical and sustainable businesses

Finally, with the money I make from my business, I look for ways to use it responsibly. Something Kelly made us do when we started the feminist marketing course was an inventory of all the apps and services I used in my business. I took the time to research them and find out if they had an ethical and sustainable business model (that was the assignment). If not, I switched to apps from companies that I felt more aligned with.

I also try to support local businesses and makers whenever possible and make conscious choices on where I buy my products. There are great creative hubs all over the world. Makers from diverse backgrounds can showcase and sell their products. In Antwerp, where I live, Borgerhub and SheDidIthub are my favorites.

In conclusion, being an inclusive feminist entrepreneur is not just about following a set of rules; it's a way of life. There are many ways we can act, be, and use our resources to build a better, more just, and inclusive world. The point is it's our responsibility to do so.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Kelly Diels: https://kellydiels.com/

• Kelly Diels Essay: https://kellydiels.com/female-lifestyle-empowerment-brand/

• Borgerhub: https://borgerhub-conceptstore.com/

• SheDidIthub: https://www.shedidit.be/thehub/

---

That's it for today! There's so much more to say about this subject that I've written a more extensive article about inclusive feminism.

Before I go, here's this week's "f*ck it, let's do it" experiment. This week, I'd love you to try backtracking and active listening. When someone speaks, really listen to what they say - try to understand their perspectives and practice some active empathy. Then, instead of answering with what you'd like to say, lean in and give their words back to you. Pause, and watch the magic happen.

If you'd like to take on a little act of daily rebellion this week, make an inventory of all the apps and services you use in your business. For each, check if they align with your values, how they treat their employees, and if they're doing something to promote inclusion and social justice. If you feel they're not a good fit (which often happens when we look at companies this way), go in search of an alternative that is closer to your values and worldview.

That's it for this episode! I hope you enjoyed learning more about my approach to inclusive feminism in business! As always, I love hearing from you, so don't hesitate to comment or reach out by email or on Instagram. And if you find my work valuable, why not leave this podcast a review? It really helps!

Until next week, be inclusive and build a better world for everyone! Bye!

Just a heads up: I am not a therapist or doctor! If you're not feeling your best mentally or physically, and you need some help, please make sure to consult with a medical professional or a therapist.