If You Give Yourself Time to Overthink, You Will. Here’s How to Stop and Get Unstuck

It’s a busy season for me. I’ve been working on my new project, nuumani.com, with the help of some great product developers and coaches while still having the pleasure of helping clients one-on-one. I've also aced two courses at Harvard Extension School, where I'm working my way to a Master's in Management. But let me tell you, this was a ton of work that I did not anticipate! While all of this was happening, and I was celebrating my birthday in Porto and visiting friends in Italy, I felt I was kicking it, and being in action, unhelpful procrastination started making it harder for me to focus on the right things.

I'm sure this is as familiar to you as it is to me. It's a direct result of the pressure, combined with the creative high of new projects: I just get so many additional ideas that I start to focus on the wrong thing. Worse, my focus gets so scattered that I start to overthink everything, so eventually, I end up doing nothing.

The truth is: if you give yourself time to overthink, you will. And it won't be good for your productivity.

The good news is that there are things you can do to stop yourself from going there, even when ideas pop up like fireflies on a hot summer night in the Midwest.

Here are a few tips to help you stay on track and avoid that mind trap:

1. Recognize when you're overthinking

   The first step in overcoming overthinking is to recognize when it's happening. Pay attention to your thoughts and notice any patterns of excessive rumination or indecisiveness that keep you from getting work done.
   

2. Create a clear roadmap

   One of the main reasons we tend to overthink is that we could be doing so many different things. Especially as creative entrepreneurs, we have a million ideas floating around in our heads. To combat this, create a clear roadmap or plan for your work that you can chop up into clear tasks for your day or week.
   

3. Set deadline

   I’m such a victim of this. I’m so flexible with deadlines that I have become immune to moving them. To be clear, a little flexibility is good but too much is deadly for your work. Setting deadlines for yourself is another way to avoid overthinking. It creates a sense of urgency and helps you focus on completing tasks instead of juggling between them.
   

4. Let go of what isn't a priority

   Because I became so stretched in time, I had to make some difficult decisions about how I spend it and say goodbye to some volunteering work I enjoyed and some projects I just don't have the time to work on right now. It can be challenging to let go of things we enjoy or have invested time in, but sometimes, it's necessary to prioritize and stay focused on what matters.
   

5. Know what success means to you

   It's great to have many opportunities, and we often fear what will happen when we don't say "yes" to what shows up. But what about the risk if you do it? Would that help your business or project, or is it more of a distraction? Don't feel bad if something doesn't align with your goals or definition of success.

Remember, you’re in control of your journey and the decisions you make along the way. I have had to remind myself of this in the past few weeks, and as I'm writing this, I am still digesting a potent conversation I had with one of my business mentors this morning. He pointed out that I was overwhelming myself with overthinking and a lack of oversight or priorities. And you know what? He was right.

Being an entrepreneur is a fantastic journey I wouldn't trade for the world. But what a learning curve it is as well! And a humbling experience. The most important thing is to know what success means to you and prioritize accordingly. Don't let the fear of missing out or the pressure of others push you into overthinking and spreading yourself thin.

Saying "no" to ideas and staying focused is hard, but I know you've got this!

Feeling overwhelmed by endless decisions and mental clutter?

I understand how paralyzing overthinking can be. My private career and business coaching sessions are designed to help you break free from these mental traps and gain clarity.

Imagine a life where you make confident decisions with ease, achieve your career or business goals, and enjoy the process. With expert guidance and personalized strategies, you can turn your biggest vision into reality.

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How to Stay Focused on Your Goals When Life Gets Busy

As I'm in the midst of launching nuumani.com, my new platform for coaches, I'm reminded about how life is nothing short of a whirlwind. As I juggle coaching clients, virtual book event preparations, relocation, and launching a new venture, I regularly find myself overwhelmed and wondering why I decided to do these things again.

In the busyness of pursuing my goals - the ones that shape my dreams and aspirations - meaning gets lost in the shuffle, and with it, the focus I need to stay on track. I'm not the only one experiencing this. Most of my clients share with me how they set out to do something, get excited and determined, and then life happens, and it quickly erodes their focus and drive.

The challenge then becomes to set goals and stay on track to achieve them - easier said than done.

For most professionals today, whether entrepreneurs, career professionals, creatives, or artists, the quest for balance and sustained motivation is not just an abstract concept but a practical need for personal and professional growth. In this article, we'll explore strategies for maintaining focus on our goals, even when times get too busy to take a breath.

The role of accountability in achieving your goals

As a coach with a decade of experience helping people get unstuck, I know accountability often plays an important part in helping someone achieve their goals. When we're held responsible for our actions, whether through a mentor, coach, or peer, we tend to perform better. But accountability is not just a tool for performance or productivity – it's a support system, a structure that helps to anchor our goals within the framework of our daily lives.

However, successful accountability structures are not one-size-fits-all. It's important to create an accountability system that will work for you by finding the methods and people that motivate you without adding undue stress or pressure to your already busy schedule. Regular check-ins, shared milestones, and even social commitments tied to our goals can all help us stay on track and turn our dreams into concrete, actionable plans.

The importance of clarity

One of the central pieces of my work is about helping clients gain clarity about what they really want. When we're stuck, we can only arrive at unclear or overly vague goals. A lack of specificity leaves room for ambiguity and excuses. When life gets busy, having a clear direction allows you to adapt and prioritize, ensuring that no matter what's blocking you, you're always trying to move forward.

The first step to figuring out what you really want is to consider both your long-term vision and short-term goals. This exercise encourages you to be honest about what truly matters to you, allowing for a better understanding of how different aspects of your life fit together. With this mindset, you can then set specific, achievable objectives that align with your purpose – and use them as markers on the road to achieving success. A tip I share with all my clients - and something I do regularly - is to document your goals and progress, whether in a journal, vision board, or digital tool. This allows you to track your growth and stay accountable to yourself.

Sometimes, the most significant step towards achieving our dreams is simply taking the time to figure out what those dreams truly are. So take a moment to reflect on your values, passions and purpose, then set clear goals that align with them.

Finding balance and prioritizing self-care

In our fast-paced world, balance and self-care often take a backseat to professional and personal demands. Paradoxically, these elements are critical to sustained focus and high productivity and performance. Neglecting our well-being can lead to many things, including burnout, which in turn can derail or halt even the most well-thought-out and planned goals.

Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it is strategic. It means setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and making time for the activities that recharge our batteries and inspire us. Finding balance is about recognizing that our goals are a part of our lives, not the entirety and that a holistic approach leads to greater long-term fulfillment. Especially when things get busy, blocking time in my calendar to do things just for myself has been a game-changer in maintaining balance and keeping momentum toward my goals.

The art of doing enough

The belief that every action must produce monumental results is a pervasive and destructive fallacy. In reality, daily, consistent effort often outweighs sporadic, intensive bursts. It's the art of doing enough - enough to push the needle forward, enough to maintain progress, and enough to remain engaged in the pursuit of your goals - that will ultimately make the difference.

This is the compound effect, where small actions, repeated over time, lead to significant results. Often, we underestimate the power of consistency and overlook the progress we make in our daily efforts. It also feels boring to many of us or not challenging enough to actually do. But herein lies the magic of it: you don't need to rush or do everything today; what you need is to build the habit of doing things steadily every day.

Trusting this process means letting go of perfectionism and celebrating each step forward, no matter how small. This mindset shift helps you stay motivated and committed to your goals for the long run. It's also a reminder that balance is not about doing everything at once but rather finding what works for you and sticking with it consistently.

So take a deep breath and let go of the pressure to constantly strive for more. Instead, focus on being present in your journey, embracing each stage as it comes, and taking small steps towards your goals every day.

Deadlines and urgency

I hate deadlines, and I love them. They're like a double-edged sword - on the one hand, they push me to get things done and give me a sense of urgency, but on the other hand, they can also cause me immense stress and anxiety.

Deadlines provide structure and motivation but can also induce unhealthy amounts of pressure. Let's not forget all deadlines are man-made! So, somewhere, someday, someone decided that this specific date and time was the deadline. Achieving this thing by then is not set in stone or predetermined by fate.

It's important to remember that your goals are yours, and there is no "right" or "wrong" timeline to achieve them. Instead of letting deadlines dictate your progress, focus on creating a routine and committing to consistent actions toward your goals. It's important to regularly review the urgency of our goals and align deadlines accordingly. Not everything we want to do needs to be done now, and setting unrealistic timelines based on external pressures can lead to missed opportunities, failed attempts at creating something great, and a massive amount of frustration.

The problem of all-or-nothing thinking

I used to be such an all-or-nothing person. If I couldn't do it or have it all right now, I wasn't interested in having or doing it at all! This mindset is a common theme in my clients that often leads to paralysis and inaction. It certainly was for me. When we perceive any imperfection from our ideal path as a failure, we set ourselves up for disappointment and, ultimately, a failure because we give up on our goals. Recognizing this false idea is the first step toward a healthier, more pragmatic approach to goal-setting.

To combat all-or-nothing thinking, it's important to reframe our accomplishments and mistakes as lessons and opportunities for growth. Small setbacks should not overshadow the progress we've made or the resilience we've shown. Additionally, not being able to do everything "right now" does not mean we can't still move forward and make progress. Whether it's taking small steps, adjusting deadlines, or seeking support from others, there are always options to do something productive toward our goals without falling into the trap of perfectionism.

At the end of the day, achieving your goals is a journey rather than a destination. You'll face obstacles and setbacks along the way, but that does not diminish the value of your efforts. Just keep going!

Transitioning from goals to actionable tasks

One of the biggest mistakes I see clients make is putting goals on their to-do lists instead of actionable tasks. Goals are great, but they can often feel too daunting and nebulous to tackle when you're sitting down to work. That's why it's important to break them down into specific, achievable tasks.

For example, instead of putting "write a book" or "website" on our to-do list, we can break it down into smaller tasks such as "write 500 words per day," "edit one chapter per week," or "get my about page done and publish it online."

Goals and tasks are not the same, and the distinction between the two is crucial. While a goal is an endpoint, a task is a step - a concrete and often immediate action that moves us toward that end.

I do this on a weekly basis on Sunday afternoon when I plan out the week ahead. I look at my goals and write out small, clearly defined tasks that I'm capable of doing in two hours or less. It's through the completion of these tasks that I've achieved all my goals - all my goals, no exception.

Remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint

In my eagerness to achieve, I often took a sprinter's approach at the start of a marathon project. What I've learned is that long-term success requires pacing myself and working in a sustainable way. It's about understanding that the pursuit of my goals is not a race to be won but a continuous effort to be enjoyed and maintained while I'm working at it.

By adopting a marathon mindset, it's easier to work with consistent effort and patient progress. You can recognize that each step, no matter how small, is a victory in itself and an integral part of the larger narrative of your personal and professional development and success.

In conclusion, the pursuit of our goals is an ongoing practice that requires adaptability, resilience, and a diligent commitment to personal growth. By nurturing a supportive environment, maintaining a clear vision, and sustaining a balanced approach, we can overcome life's busyness and achieve what we set out to do.

Remember, the secret to success lies not in doing it all at once but in doing enough consistently and with purpose. I believe in you!

Is life sidetracking your goals?

Don't worry, you're not alone. And I can help! Together, we'll build a personalized strategy to keep you on track toward achieving your goals while also taking care of yourself. Let's get started today!

Schedule a free coaching session to get started. Keep going. Keep growing. You got this!

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How to build in rest so you can be productive

I’ve worked so hard to get my book, Get Unstuck!, finished and am super excited to announce the official release date for all editions is October 25th! However, right now, you can preorder the Kindle Edition and save yourself a couple of bucks! All copies come with a free workbook to help you identify what is getting you stuck and how to overcome that mindset so you can go after what you want - as well as tons of prompts to help you achieve the steps to get there! But there’s more! With your preorder, you’ll also get a personal invitation to my virtual book launch in November 2023!

I think the best part about watching a goal come to fruition is knowing that on the other side is some much-needed rest. I’m grateful to be able to take resets. They’re so important to me and my ability to help my business flourish. When I decided to get myself unstuck, I knew that I had to build in pockets of time off. It was scary to admit that I wasn’t a robot who could work 18-hour days, 7 days a week without needing a break - that’s what we are trained to do, isn’t it? No complaining, just working.

But once I finally admitted that I wasn’t a robot, that I needed rest, and that rest would actually make me better at what I did, everything else slid into place. With more rest, and holidays or breaks to look forward to, I became more productive with my time. Instead of doom-scrolling, I was focused on what I needed to get done.

Is this something you struggle with? Have you been raised - like most of us were - to think that work meant grueling hours, always busy, always struggling, and always feeling bad about what you were missing out on? 

If you nodded your head yes to any of that, it’s time to start redirecting that thought process. Here’s how:

1. Build work boundaries. If you want to have more time for yourself and feel rejuvenated at work, you need to start building boundaries at work. If you are contracted to work 8 am - 5 pm, don’t bring your work home with you. Leave it at work. If you want to see your son’s football game, or your daughter’s fencing competition, or even just go home and bake a cake, you have to make your boundaries clear and then stick to them as much as you can. The more you do this, the more you will see that the work-life balance all the gurus talk about becomes your reality.

2. Ditch the busywork. I’m a huge proponent of productivity versus busywork. If you’re constantly busy but never getting anything done, you aren’t really busy, you’re just filing your time. If, instead, you focus on getting the thing that needs to be done in a certain amount of time, without distractions, you’ll find you can get more done and be able to rest or refresh outside of that time. And if you aren’t sure how to start, check out the Pomodoro Method. You set a timer for 25 minutes and that is your productive, focused time. After the 25 minutes, you get a five-minute break. You do that over and over again until the work is done. You’ll be surprised at how much you end up working through in those short 25 minutes when you have five minutes built in to breathe.

3. Visualize the life you want. When you visualize the life you want, you end up motivating yourself to do the small tasks that will get you there. For example, if you want to go to medical school at 35 years old, you need to believe in yourself and have a clear vision of the life you want to get you through the challenges that medical school will present. By getting clear on that vision, you can see how the difficult experiences you have now are helping you get there.

4. Develop better time management skills. As you learn to manage your time better, you are actually loosening your grip on it. When we focus too much on the time we have left to do something, we can get overwhelmed quickly. Instead focus on how you can maximize the time you have to get the most done. You’ll finish your day feeling fulfilled and ready to start the next day.

5. Make time to meditate. There are several forms of meditation - mindfulness, transcendental meditation, walking meditations, and more. You can choose whichever one works best in the moment, but the point is to stay consistent. Meditation has been shown to lower your heart rate, help with stress and anxiety, and also increase your cognition. When you meditate, you’re giving your brain time to relax, which can help you think more clearly while you’re working. Even just five minutes a day can provide you with real rest that will boost your productivity, ease your stress, and help you figure out the steps you need to take to get unstuck. It’s really an amazing thing!

Changing our mindset around rest and work is the most crucial step in getting unstuck and having the life we want. So what are you waiting for? Let’s get going!

Time to reset your mindset!

Mindset work is the most important step in all of my work, but it’s also the hardest.

If you haven’t been able to shift your mindset on your own, I can help! My clients and I work diligently to figure out exactly how your brain interprets the world and then create a plan to shift that interpretation. It’s pretty incredibly what we can do together!

Schedule your free session!