Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Everything in Life is an Invitation to Grow: Everything is a Grindstone
For many clients and myself, life often feels like a rollercoaster ride, filled with unexpected challenges and overwhelming experiences. More than any other, recent years have been one of perseverance and growth in ways I never thought possible. And there's a reason for that...
Reflecting on the past can be overwhelming, but instead of focusing on the negatives, I want to challenge you to think about everything that happened to you, all your experiences, and the difficult path you may have walked as a grindstone. This is how I've looked at life for the past few years; it has been so empowering.
A grindstone is a tool used to sharpen blades and tools. It's made up of rough surfaces that rub against each other, slowly but surely creating a sharp edge.
Similarly, if we decide to see it that way, every challenge we face is like a rough surface on our journey, constantly rubbing against us and pushing us to grow and become stronger. And just like a blade that becomes sharper with each pass on the grindstone, we, too, become sharper and more resilient through our struggles.
This may sound cliche, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Every setback, obstacle, and disappointment in your life is an opportunity to sharpen yourself and become stronger.
Everything is an invitation to grow, learn, and become a more resilient, stronger, and more capable human being.
When an obstacle shows up, when someone is shitty towards you, when you are being misunderstood or mistreated, instead of getting angry and defensive, say "thank you" and go to work learning and growing from it.
Your ex decided to be a jerk during divorce proceedings? Say "thank you," and use this setback to become a stronger person with better boundaries and communication skills, and leave this experience with more grace, empathy, and power.
Your boss is micromanaging you? Say "thank you" because now you can see how not to manage people, how to stand up for yourself, and communicate your needs effectively.
You made a bad financial decision? Say "thank you" and use that experience to become a better money manager, to be more mindful of your spending habits, and to prioritize your financial goals.
Every challenge can be an opportunity for growth if we choose to look at it that way. And the best part? No one can take away what you've learned and who you've become through these challenges. They are yours forever and will continue to serve you in the future.
How to see your grindstones as gifts
I know, I know. Looking at challenges as "gifts" and saying "thank you" when someone is a jerk to you might sound... annoying, to say the least, especially when you're in the middle of a challenging situation. But here’s the truth - it’s all about mindset. You have the power to turn any trial into triumph. You really do.
Here are five steps to get started with your grindstones:
Acknowledge the trigger.
Notice when something or someone gets under your skin. That discomfort? That’s your grindstone saying, “Hey, there’s something here for you to learn. Here's your chance to grow.”Ask, “What’s the lesson?”
What skill, habit, or strength is this moment trying to teach you? Is it patience? Assertiveness? Boundaries? Courage? Self-Esteem?Flip the script
Instead of thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “How can this help me grow? What can I get out of this?” Reframing challenges as opportunities will completely shift your perspective and help you achieve happiness and success much faster!Seek the gift
This might not come right away, and that’s okay. Reflect on what you’ve learned once the dust settles. Write it down and own that growth. You've earned it!Say "thank you"
Gratitude is powerful - even for the hard stuff. It’s how you take control of your story and become the knife that needs sharpening, not the victim who wants pity.
What’s your grindstone?
I invite you to embrace this grindstone concept as you reflect on how far you've come (and perhaps how stuck you feel). From this day forward, let's welcome every obstacle with open arms and see them as opportunities to sharpen ourselves, grow, and become stronger.
Trust me; this mindset shift will change your life.
Are you ready to embrace the grindstones in your life?
Imagine a life where you fully embrace your inner strength, where challenges are no longer roadblocks but stepping stones to success. It's time to let go, grow and finally get unstuck.
Don't let your grindstones go to waste. Take the first step towards freedom and potential and sign up for a free coaching session today. Your transformation awaits!
How to Think Yourself Into a Brand New and Magnificent Life
Sometimes, when life is going just right, the only thing we do is wait for it to go wrong. We anticipate and wait for that so-called other shoe to drop. Right now, so many great things are happening in my life and at work, and the fruits of seeds I planted many months or years ago are finally coming out. This reminded me of how accustomed we are to expecting bad things - not good ones - to happen; at least, I know I used to be like that. And honestly, sometimes I still am.
Just last week, with everything feeling right - the sun shining, my new start-up off to a great start, friends and family all in reasonably good health and happy - there it was: the undeniable and oh-so-familiar feeling of doom looming. Something had to go wrong! Everything was going too well, and I was simply feeling too good!
Feeling like doom is coming has been my experience for the biggest part of my life. I know it's the same for many of my clients. Before starting my journey of transformation and anxiety-free living, I was so used to it that even when things were going well, my brain would actively search for something to be worried or unhappy about.
But here's the thing: life is not meant to be lived in fear and worry. We are not meant to expect the worst constantly.
We're meant to live in joy and abundance, regardless of our circumstances. It took me a long time to truly understand this. Still, I'm now at a place where I can confidently say that we have the power to choose how we experience life and that we are manifesting our existence and everything in it every moment of every day.
We may not be able to control what happens around us, but we can control how we react. Even more so, we have a say in what we attract into our lives and how we shape our reality. I shared a lot about this in my book "Get Unstuck!" because it's so important: our thoughts create our reality.
Think about it for a minute.
People who don't have the negative thoughts you or I have don't have the fears either! Can you imagine?
I heard a lawyer share his story recently. When asked how he chose law as his field, he shared how he had always loved conflict. It felt like a game to him, how good he was at it, and how when someone disagreed with him, he enjoyed going into the conversation to get them to see he was right. As someone who has always dreaded conflict, I lost my breath there for a second. I NEVER imagined anyone could enjoy conflict, let alone be good at it. But when I thought about it a bit more, I realized that - of course - to be a good lawyer, not being afraid of conflict is sort of an asset :)
Again, it's all about our thoughts. So, I imagined what my life would be like if I didn't have any negative thoughts about conflict but looked at it from the perspective of a conflict-loving lawyer.
And, you know what, it changes EVERYTHING!
It was a profound moment of realization for me. Of course, I already knew that changing my thoughts changed my life, but this thing called growth is like an onion. It keeps on giving! When you think you've reached the last layer, it turns out there's another one underneath. So, I continue peeling my onion every day - in a positive way, of course!
I've also learned that the power of our thoughts affects our lives and radiates outward to those around us. Have you ever noticed how being around someone who is constantly negative and complaining can bring your mood down? On the other hand, being around someone positive and uplifting can instantly boost your energy and mindset.
So why not choose to be that person? Why not channel the thoughts of the person you want to be in this world? Changing your thoughts can transform your experiences profoundly.
Fear, doubt, and self-limiting beliefs are the number one blocks for many creatives and entrepreneurs. But what if we approached challenges with curiosity and excitement instead, just like lawyers approach conflict? What if we could see difficulties not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities for growth and learning?
What if, when everything is going well, we invite more good vibes into our lives and believe even better things are coming rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop?
For me, this shift in mindset was empowering. It felt like a door opening to a world where I had control over my life. I began to see that my thoughts were like seeds - when I planted positive, empowering beliefs, they blossomed into actions aligned with my goals and dreams. My current life is a testament to this. When I realized how powerful my thoughts were, I started to manifest a reality where fear didn’t dictate my decisions, and possibilities were endless.
You possess this power, too. It's within each of us to reshape our thoughts and, consequently, our lives. By consciously choosing to cultivate thoughts that are good for you and not entertaining the ones that are keeping you small, anxious, or fearful, you can unlock your true potential and create a life that not only meets but exceeds your wildest dreams.
Imagine the freedom and joy of a life unburdened by unnecessary fears and doubts. Imagine being like that lawyer. You have the power to make this your reality.
Here are five tips to help you shift your mindset toward one that is empowering and limitless:
Challenge your negative thoughts. The first and most crucial part of changing your negative thinking patterns is noticing and challenging your negative thoughts. When a negative thought pops into your mind, ask yourself if it is based on fact or fear. In 99% of the cases, it will be, so consciously choose to replace it with a more positive and empowering belief.
An example from my little mantra flashcards (see point two below) is the recurring belief that I held for the longest part of my life (which caused me to choose horrible partners to be with) that I must work to deserve attention or love. I have successfully changed that belief, and it has transformed my life. On my mantra cards (which I still read at least three times a day while listening to a manifestation playlist from Spotify), it says about this belief:
"I deserve attention and love just because I am. I am enough just as I am. I don't need to work for attention or love. Love is not equal to work. I am lovable just as I am. I don't need to do anything to deserve love." Repeating these mantras every day for years now has totally changed what I believe about myself and how lovable I am.Create mantra flashcards and read them multiple times every day. Mantra flashcards are small notes you write to yourself with positive affirmations and empowering beliefs. These could be simple phrases like "I am enough," "I am worthy," or "I am capable." You can add personal mantras that speak to your specific fears or doubts. The key is to read these cards multiple times a day, especially when you're in a negative headspace. This will help to reprogram your subconscious mind and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.
I have cards for all aspects of my life and thoughts I want to change: my life, my relationships, my work, my goals... I take them with me everywhere and truly enjoy reading them; it's like a tiny meditation multiple times a day that reminds me who I really am and where I'm going. Powerful stuff!Surround yourself with positivity. This can include the people you spend time with, the media you consume, and even your living space. Make an effort to surround yourself with positive and uplifting people who support and encourage you. Follow social media accounts that promote self-love and acceptance, and unfollow those that make you feel like crap. Surround yourself with items that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, whether it's a favorite quote or a piece of art that speaks to your soul.
By creating a positive environment and having an eye for what I find beautiful and aesthetically pleasing, I am now constantly reminded of my worth and value as a person and the great way I know I can show up for myself and care for my well-being. I surround myself with the life I want to live. And you know what? That's how I create it!Practice gratitude daily. Take a few moments each day (early morning and late night for me) to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can help shift your focus from lack and negativity to abundance and positivity. Repeated daily, it will change your mindset!
Make sure these are not just little trivial things (although they can be); add in the real stuff too, like, in my case, "I'm grateful that my friend Lena, who is a badass feminist, teaches me how to be a badass woman myself" or "I'm so grateful for the freedom I created for myself to be able to work from anywhere" or "I'm so grateful for that new pink bikini that fits me so well." Yes, I hear you. What if there's nothing for which to be grateful? Well, sorry to break it to you, but that's just a load of BS. There is always, ALWAYS, something to be thankful for. You should write it down even more diligently if you find it hard to find.Visualize your desired outcome. It's essential to bring as many of your dreams and desires into your life now, even if not everything has manifested yet.
I take time every day to visualize myself living the life of my dreams. It's such an enjoyable experience, and it almost feels real. I go into a lot of details about where I am, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, who I'm with, and even what I'm wearing. This practice helps me stay focused on my goals and motivates me to take action toward making them a reality. It's like creating a roadmap for your life; the best part is that you have complete control over it.
Bonus tip: REMEMBER TO TAKE ACTION! Ultimately, it's all well and good to bathe in the feel-good hormones from imagining your dream life, but you must take action to create a mindset that empowers you and a life that fills you with joy and gratitude. Eventually, you have to go out and do something to materialize it!
Shifting your mindset takes time and effort, but the results are well worth it. Your life will be completely transformed, and you will experience things beyond your wildest dreams. Trust me, it works!
Feeling stuck in your current situation?
You're not alone. Many professionals have the same feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt.
Imagine waking up every day excited about your future, no longer paralyzed by fear or self-sabotaging thoughts. It's time to break free and start living the life you've always dreamed of.
If You Give Yourself Time to Overthink, You Will. Here’s How to Stop and Get Unstuck
It’s a busy season for me. I’ve been working on my new project, nuumani.com, with the help of some great product developers and coaches while still having the pleasure of helping clients one-on-one. I've also aced two courses at Harvard Extension School, where I'm working my way to a Master's in Management. But let me tell you, this was a ton of work that I did not anticipate! While all of this was happening, and I was celebrating my birthday in Porto and visiting friends in Italy, I felt I was kicking it, and being in action, unhelpful procrastination started making it harder for me to focus on the right things.
I'm sure this is as familiar to you as it is to me. It's a direct result of the pressure, combined with the creative high of new projects: I just get so many additional ideas that I start to focus on the wrong thing. Worse, my focus gets so scattered that I start to overthink everything, so eventually, I end up doing nothing.
The truth is: if you give yourself time to overthink, you will. And it won't be good for your productivity.
The good news is that there are things you can do to stop yourself from going there, even when ideas pop up like fireflies on a hot summer night in the Midwest.
Here are a few tips to help you stay on track and avoid that mind trap:
Recognize when you're overthinking
The first step in overcoming overthinking is to recognize when it's happening. Pay attention to your thoughts and notice any patterns of excessive rumination or indecisiveness that keep you from getting work done.
Create a clear roadmap
One of the main reasons we tend to overthink is that we could be doing so many different things. Especially as creative entrepreneurs, we have a million ideas floating around in our heads. To combat this, create a clear roadmap or plan for your work that you can chop up into clear tasks for your day or week.
Set deadline
I’m such a victim of this. I’m so flexible with deadlines that I have become immune to moving them. To be clear, a little flexibility is good but too much is deadly for your work. Setting deadlines for yourself is another way to avoid overthinking. It creates a sense of urgency and helps you focus on completing tasks instead of juggling between them.
Let go of what isn't a priority
Because I became so stretched in time, I had to make some difficult decisions about how I spend it and say goodbye to some volunteering work I enjoyed and some projects I just don't have the time to work on right now. It can be challenging to let go of things we enjoy or have invested time in, but sometimes, it's necessary to prioritize and stay focused on what matters.
Know what success means to you
It's great to have many opportunities, and we often fear what will happen when we don't say "yes" to what shows up. But what about the risk if you do it? Would that help your business or project, or is it more of a distraction? Don't feel bad if something doesn't align with your goals or definition of success.
Remember, you’re in control of your journey and the decisions you make along the way. I have had to remind myself of this in the past few weeks, and as I'm writing this, I am still digesting a potent conversation I had with one of my business mentors this morning. He pointed out that I was overwhelming myself with overthinking and a lack of oversight or priorities. And you know what? He was right.
Being an entrepreneur is a fantastic journey I wouldn't trade for the world. But what a learning curve it is as well! And a humbling experience. The most important thing is to know what success means to you and prioritize accordingly. Don't let the fear of missing out or the pressure of others push you into overthinking and spreading yourself thin.
Saying "no" to ideas and staying focused is hard, but I know you've got this!
Feeling overwhelmed by endless decisions and mental clutter?
I understand how paralyzing overthinking can be. My private career and business coaching sessions are designed to help you break free from these mental traps and gain clarity.
Imagine a life where you make confident decisions with ease, achieve your career or business goals, and enjoy the process. With expert guidance and personalized strategies, you can turn your biggest vision into reality.
How to Overcome the Freeze Response When You Need to Make a Choice or a Decision
Feeling stuck? Afraid to choose between all the things you could do or want to do? You're not alone. Many people, especially those with numerous ideas and interests, are frozen by the fear of making the wrong choice. This paralysis can be particularly crippling for entrepreneurs and creatives. Let's explore where this fear comes from, why it's vital to take action even if we're unsure, and how to "combine" instead of choosing, using my unique coaching method. We'll also uncover the truth about clarity — it's more about elimination than you might think. Finally, I'll share three actionable tips to help you move from freeze to flow so you can unlock your true potential and finally do what you want!
Where does the fear come from?
Oh, well, hello there, perfectionism! Even though the fear of making a mistake can take many forms, and we'll explore a few below, behind the biggest lot of it, there is one thing hiding: perfectionism. You know, that thing that makes you think if you can't do it perfectly or choose the perfect course of action, then why bother at all? As ironic as it may seem, perfectionism often leads to procrastination and inaction.
This fear is also amplified by our society's obsession with success and failure, the pressure to comply with what our parents, loved ones, and even friends think we should or should not do. We are constantly bombarded with messages about "the right way" to do things and the "perfect" path to success. This can lead to a fear of failure, disguised as a "fear of choosing," as we fear not living up to these expectations or being judged for our choices.
Societal pressures
Society often sets high expectations, making us believe every choice is monumental, set in stone, and forever. But nothing could be further from the truth. We are conditioned to seek perfection and avoid failure at all costs because we think that we must stick to it at all costs once we have chosen something. This societal pressure can lead to analysis paralysis, where the fear of making a mistake outweighs the desire to move forward.
The truth is that nothing is ever written in stone. You are an evolving and changing being, and you can change your mind.
The dilemma of choice
With so many options available, choosing itself becomes daunting. The paradox of choice, though, suggests that having too many options can lead to anxiety and inaction. When faced with multiple opportunities, the fear of missing out (FOMO) on the "right" one can freeze us in our tracks.
The funny thing is that not choosing is also making a choice - not taking action and staying exactly where you are, which often leads to regret and a feeling of unfulfillment.
Fear of mistakes
Mistakes are often seen as failures rather than learning opportunities. The fear of making the wrong decision can be so overwhelming that it prevents any decision from being made at all. The result? You stay stuck, unable to move forward or seize new opportunities. I am so frustrated by this! Without "failure," there can be no learning; without learning, there can be no growth.
Reframing mistakes for what they truly are is important: growth moments on your path to success.
Why it's essential to take a step even when we don't know everything
Progress over perfection
Taking imperfect action is better than taking no action at all. Every step you take, even if it's not perfect, brings you closer to the clarity you're looking for in hesitating to make a choice. I know this is such a paradox, but it's true: you need to try things out to know what you want. Remember, you can't think yourself into anything; you have to take action to get there.
Learning through action
You learn more from doing than from overthinking. Each action provides valuable feedback, helping you refine your approach and make better decisions in the future. Inaction, on the other hand, offers no learning experience at all - except confirmation that you're not doing anything, which, in the long run, will be detrimental not only to your success but also to your trust in your abilities to actually get things done.
Building momentum
Action creates momentum. Once you take the first step, the next steps become easier. Where attention goes, energy flows. Momentum builds confidence, which, in turn, reduces the fear of making mistakes. Before you know it, you're moving forward with greater ease and assurance. It's almost like magic: the steps you once thought were impossible to figure out now offer themselves to you without you even thinking about it. It's called creative action, and I love it!
How to "combine" instead of choosing
My coaching methodology - The MOVE method
Rather than forcing yourself to choose between multiple passions or ideas, consider how you can combine them - or at least the elements you like in each. This approach allows you to explore different interests simultaneously, creating unique combinations that can lead to innovative solutions and new opportunities. If you want to learn more, schedule a free session with me by clicking here. This is the work I do with clients every day! If you want to know how they have experienced working with me, you can read their success stories here.
Integrative thinking
A big part of my work is helping my clients think of their various interests as pieces of a puzzle. How can they fit together to form a cohesive, sustainable, enjoyable picture? By combining different elements, you can create something unique that leverages all your skills and passions. The best part? You get to decide which parts to keep and which parts to let go of because, yes, you have the right to do that!
Examples of combining interests
If you're passionate about writing and technology, consider starting a tech blog. Love cooking and photography? Create a culinary Instagram account. Want to travel the world and have a daily writing practice? Build a travel blog like my client Lot did. She travels for free to the most unique locations and gets to write about it, too! The possibilities are endless when you allow yourself to think integratively.
The truth about clarity
I touched on it earlier in this post. Clarity is often misunderstood as a state of knowing exactly what you want. In reality, it's more about eliminating what you don't want. By trying different things and discarding what doesn't work - also on a bodily level, that is, really feeling it, you gradually gain clarity on what truly resonates with you.
Clarity comes through iteration. It's not a one-time event but an ongoing process of experimentation and growth. Each experience teaches you something new, helping you refine your path and focus on what matters most.
Finally, trust that clarity will come with time and action. Don't sit around waiting for it to appear magically; go out and do something. Don't rush the process or force decisions, though. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and discover your true path organically.
Three tips to get out of freeze and choose or make a decision
1. Do something
Honestly, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. Take a deep breath, look at your to-do list, close your eyes, and, with your index finger, point at something on your list. Whatever you've pointed at, start doing it. This is the best way to get out of indecision and find clarity. Taking action will give you a sense of momentum and help you break out of the mental freeze.
2. Seek inspiration, aka practice productive procrastination
If you're feeling stuck, seek inspiration from outside sources. Read a book, watch a movie, listen to a podcast, or talk to someone who inspires you - make sure whatever you do is somehow connected to your goal. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh perspective to spark new ideas and inspire clarity. So, if you're trying to start a business, and if nothing else, have a coffee with an entrepreneur; if you're procrastination on a health goal, do five minutes of stretching, go outside, or look up the gyms in your area. However small, the step you take will unlock the freeze and give you a sense of empowerment.
3. Seek support
Don't try to do this alone, especially if you've been stuck or in freeze mode for a while. Seek support from mentors, coaches, or like-minded peers. They can provide valuable insights, encouragement, and accountability, helping you stay on track and move forward. Also, don't forget about the power of vulnerability and reaching out to friends or family for emotional support. Sometimes, a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on can make all the difference in finding the courage to decide and take action.
Overcoming the freeze response so you can choose something or decide is a challenging but necessary journey. I see it in my coaching practice every day, but I also see how clients get out of it. By understanding the root causes of your fear, taking imperfect action, and combining your interests, you can break free from paralysis. Remember, clarity is an elimination game, and taking small steps will lead you closer to your goals.
Ready to take the next step? Click here to sign up for my upcoming Free Dive Deeper Webinar on June 19th at 2 pm EST / 8 pm CET to learn more about my MOVE method, how to beat perfectionism and procrastination, and finally get into action!
Feeling stuck in an overthinking loop and unable to make a decision?
Working with me is a great way to get unstuck and take action. We'll work together on identifying what is keeping you stuck, and I'll help guide you to the life and work you want.
Imagine your life if you could finally break free from the chains of overthinking, doubt and fear. How much progress could you make if you had someone supporting and motivating you every step of the way? Sign up for a free session today and find out.
How to stop getting stuck in the Zone of Ideation
Have you ever started to think about something - an event, a business, a job, a partner - and then gotten stuck in this loop where your mind just wanders into every possibility - good and bad, but you never seem to get out of that loop?
If you nodded yes, great. You’re in good company!
When creativity hits, I start doing something with it to prevent myself from getting stuck in that loop of questioning and thinking. Sometimes, though, it’s inevitable, and my mind starts to wander. I begin tothink of all the ways I could do this thing I was just inspired to do, and before I know it, I’ve talked myself into - and out of - a hundred different scenarios for how to bring it to life or if I even should.
For instance, when I was thinking about doing a book launch in NYC, I walked through all the reasons this was a good idea, all the reasons it was a bad idea, and all the ways I could find the time to organise such an event while also continuing to coach, write, and speak. There were a few days where I was fully present in my mind, going through every scenario of how launching “Get Unstuck!” in NYC could play out. I got so lost thinking about it that I almost didn’t do the work I needed to do to make it happen.
I was in a loop, and it was getting harder and harder.
I like to call this loop the “Zone of Ideation” (ZOI).
Usually, you hit the ZOI right before you fully enter the tar pit of stuckness. You’ll be traveling along, an idea will hit, and before you can do anything about it, you’ve already started your loop of question, answer, question, distraction, answer, distraction, question, etc. Before you know it, that loop has pulled you into the tar. You’re sinking below its depths as it burbles alongside you.
You’re stuck.
Our goal is to either avoid the ZOI altogether or pull yourself out of it before you hit the pit.
So, how do you go about doing that?
Identify your automatic response. Your automatic response is precisely what it sounds like - the response your brain and body make when it experiences a particular stimulus. A good example of an automatic response is breathing. Breathing is so intuitive you don’t even realize you’re doing it - until you’re gasping for it. Another example of an automatic response is how your body feels when you’re called on to share during a work call or your go-to response when someone says how are you. When creativity or an idea hits, what’s your automatic response? Do you burrow and hide? Do you ruminate? Do you start doing? What are the first signs? Make yourself aware of them so we can start to change them.
Change your mindset. I know it sounds simpler said than done, but sometimes, it really is as simple as doing it. When it comes to our mindsets, we’re either fixed or flexible (commonly called a growth mindset). People with fixed mindsets have difficulty changing how they see things. People with flexible mindsets have an easier time changing their views and going with the flow. The best part is that fixed mindsets can become flexible with just a little work. Once you’ve identified your automatic response and which mindset you lean towards, you can start adapting your mindset to fit the desired outcome.
Decide on a goal and stick to it. When you have difficulty retreating from the ZOI, it’s probably because you’ve created several goals and want to achieve all of them at once. Instead, focus on one goal you know you can achieve soon and then go after it. Once you’ve accomplished that goal, you can identify the next - and the next - and the next. Before you know it, you’ll have achieved precisely what you wanted. I like to look at these goals as a bucket list instead. Things that I want to achieve just for me, no one else. The word “goal” makes it sound like it’s for someone else’s benefit or some external reward. Bucket list items are solely for me and I can pursue them slowly and with meaning.
When you enter the ZOI, it can be tough to pull yourself out before getting truly stuck. However, the more you practice the steps above, the easier it will be. Then, one day, avoiding the ZOI or getting unstuck more quickly will become second nature to you.
P.S. Don’t forget Get Unstuck! is now on the shelves on Amazon! If you’re interested in how to get unstuck when you’re sinking in the tar pit of stuckness, this book is the only roadmap you’ll need! Click here to find the Amazon site nearest to you.
Dangerously close to the Zone of Ideation?
My clients know that mindset work is one of my favorite things to do with them. It is so incredible to see them think one way and then shift not only their mindset but also their actions within a short time.
If you feel like the ZOI is pulling you in, forcing you to focus on all the things that could be from this one idea, it’s time to learn some new tools!
Experiencing technical difficulties: Sometimes things don’t go your way, and that’s okay…
My newest book, Get Unstuck! came out today!
And if you just did a double take at that or thought I wrote the wrong date, you are half right…
Originally, Get Unstuck! was set to launch on October 25th - however - God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, had other plans for me. What should have been a simple change of date turned into a major issue that required technical assistance and a whole lot of faith.
Several things added to this debacle, including formatting issues, communication disruptions, and serious technical glitches that could have derailed the entire launch. And I truly believe that my behavior during those 12 hours is the reason that things worked out so well.
Think about it - the last time something threw you for a loop and ruined your day, did any of the next five tasks go well? Or did your day suddenly rush off course, crash, and burn?
I’m guessing it was the latter.
That’s because our mindset impacts our attitude, which impacts our environment, which, in turn, impacts our mindset. If you have a fixed mindset - one that doesn’t do well with change or challenges - you might find that your day is completely trashed because of one issue early on. You can’t shake out of the negative headspace that “everything will go wrong.”
But, if you have a growth mindset, you can see the issue for what it is and stop yourself from carrying it in the next moment of the day. You go into problem-solving mode and work to fix things without reacting.
The truth is, ten years ago, I definitely would have freaked out. My entire week would have been ruined and I would have fallen victim to all the worst-case scenarios. This time, though, I saw the situation for what it was - a chance to practice what I preach and not have it impact my whole day. The issue was fixed and while it was a bummer that my initial pre-orders were canceled because of an Amazon glitch, I know there’s a reason for it.
My attitude is positively impacting my environment, which is positively impacting my mindset, which is reinforcing my positive attitude.
So how can you cultivate a growth mindset and steer clear of attitude derailments? Follow the steps below to get a peak into what I do every day to prevent my mind from wandering into negativity territory.
Accept the situation. I think a lot of the issues we get with our mindset come from refusing to acknowledge that what is happening is happening. Whatever the situation, you have to accept that it is happening so you can prevent it from following you into every other situation that day. For example, if you spill coffee on class notes and start chiding yourself for being a terrible coffee sipper, that mindset will follow you into the next task. You might find that you are dropping more things, cajoling yourself, and breaking things unnecessarily. However, if you spill the coffee and start cleaning it up without making yourself feel bad, your subconscious will recognize that mistakes happen and it doesn’t have to affect the rest of your day.
Think about how your favorite person would react. If you admire someone like Ghandi or Amelia Earheart, think about how they would react in a moment of strife. Would they crumble and let the bad mood follow them? Or would they problem solve their way out of it and protect their peace? I’m gonna go with the second option.
Set realistic goals. This might not sound like something you can do after an issue pops up, but the reality is that setting realistic goals is something you can do all along the way, whatever is happening in the moment. If you’re working on something and you realize the timeline you’ve given yourself is too fast paced, it’s okay to slow down and switch it up.
Try something new. If you’ve noticed that your reaction negatively impacts every other area of your life, it’s time to try something new. Part of having a growth mindset is trying new things and finding what works for you in a particular situation - and knowing that it can evolve over time.
Check in with yourself. Probably the most important thing to do when trying to cultivate a growth mindset is to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about what just happened? What emotions are coming up? Who do you hear in your head that is hurting your heart? How do you think you’d feel if you responded in a different way?
The only thing we are responsible for - and in control of - are our own reactions. If we are constantly getting overwhelmed with things and outcomes we can’t control, we won’t get anything done and we will constantly be living in fear.
I don’t know about you, but I refuse to live in that headspace any longer.
P.S. you can order Get Unstuck! today on Kindle, paperback, or hardcover!
Ready to ditch the fixed mindset?
Our mindset determines so much about our day to day reactions, but also our longterm mental health. Those of us with growth mindsets react more healthily to problems. Whereas people with fixed mindsets can let their frustrations overtake them, getting them stuck without the will to MOVE.
If you want to learn how to change your mindset, get unstuck, and start MOVE-in’, I can help!