The Complicated Life of a Creative: Why It's Okay to Want More Out of Life

Are you feeling stuck in your life or work, even though it looks great on the outside? Do you feel like everything is fine and you should feel blessed, but you're still unhappy?

You're not alone. Last week, a client shared how he felt unfulfilled at work even though he has a "dream job" and asked, "why can't I just be happy with what I have?" The truth is: it's not because, on the outside, it looks like you're successful that you feel that way on the inside.

Creatives, in particular, need to understand how their brains are wired and what they need to do to be happy. You tend not to like boredom or continuous repetition of similar tasks. You crave variety and something creative that makes you want to get up in the morning. You will inevitably become bored and unfulfilled if you don't have this in your day-to-day activities.

It's okay to want more out of life - we all deserve our dreams

It's important to acknowledge that needing more is okay - we should feel no shame for wanting more out of life! But it's also essential to know when not to quit and push through even if things start feeling too routine or monotonous. Otherwise, you might miss out on opportunities that could bring you joy and fulfillment.

It's important to remember that feeling stuck is normal and doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It's a sign that it's time to reassess your goals and develop strategies to approach them differently or be creative in finding new solutions. The key is to find a balance between pushing through when needed and knowing when it's time for a change.

Creativity is an essential part of our lives, and boredom can be a real issue for creative types. If you need more variety in your life or work to keep you interested, it's easy to become unfulfilled. It's essential to recognize what you need so that you can make positive changes in your life. Here are a few things that can help:

#1 Understand your creative brain.

If you're feeling stuck in life or work, take time for self-reflection and use this as an opportunity to learn more about how your creative brain works. Psycho-education is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself as a creative. It will help you to understand your needs better and make better decisions.

Understanding that a lot of the things you think are flaws and negative about yourself (seemingly not being able to stick to things, always wanting something new, scattered focus, and so on) is part of your creative wiring will enable you to harness the power of your creative abilities and make better decisions.

#2 Give yourself permission to try different things.

It's okay not to know what you want or what direction you're going in. Try something new and explore your options. This doesn't mean you have to quit your job right away or that it's an all-or-nothing thing (a trap many creatives, entrepreneurs, and generalists fall into) - it might just mean trying something new on the side or experimenting with other creative outlets.

When you give yourself permission to try different things, you open up the possibilities and learn more about what makes you happy and fulfilled. You'll be able to take back control over your life and find a way to make things work for you - even if it's not exactly how you initially expected them to.

#3 Take a break from the routine.

When you feel the itch telling you something is boring or has become too easy or repetitive, sometimes, getting away for a short time is all that's needed to reset and recharge. Whether it's taking a weekend off or just taking a walk around the block, take some time for yourself so that you can come back feeling refreshed and inspired again!

The complicated life of a creative can be frustrating at times, but knowing that it's okay to feel stuck and not knowing precisely what you want to do doesn't have to be anxiety-inducing. By allowing yourself to explore different paths, and taking regular breaks away from the routine, you can make positive changes in your life and find fulfillment.

#4 Feed your creative spark.

There's nothing worse for a creative than a life without a creative spark, where there seems to be no freedom to explore, learn new things, or express yourself. Feeding your creative spark is vital for feeling fulfilled and inspired, so be sure to find ways to stoke the fire in your life.

One of the best ways to break out of a rut and find your creative spark again is to do something completely different. Not only will this spark creativity and help get your juices flowing again (literally!), but it can also open up possibilities that you never thought were available. This might mean making time for a passion project, learning something new, or taking on an exciting challenge. It could also mean taking regular breaks away from work and doing things that will refresh your mind and refuel your creativity.

#5 Surround yourself with supportive people.

Finally, remember that plenty of creatives and entrepreneurs feel your pain and go through it themselves. It's helpful to surround yourself with like-minded people who are interested in the same struggles and successes that you are. Whether it's a friend, a mentor, or a coach - having someone to turn to for encouragement can be invaluable when feeling stuck.

By understanding your creative tendencies, giving yourself permission to explore different paths, and taking regular breaks away from the routine - as well as feeding your creative spark and surrounding yourself with supportive people - you too can find a sense of fulfillment and joy in your life. So don't let yourself be stuck - go out and make something great!

No matter how successful your life appears on the outside, it's okay to feel stuck. It doesn't make you a failure or someone who doesn't know what you want. We all need variety in our lives to stay inspired and motivated. Remembering this can help us take steps toward our goals while still accepting where we are in the present moment. With patience and perseverance, you can make the changes in your life that will bring about more satisfaction and joy.

Being honest with yourself about what you need is the first step toward making positive changes. So if you're feeling stuck or unfulfilled, don't be afraid to admit it and seek some support or guidance. Good luck!

Feeling bored and unfulfilled? You're not alone.

There must be more to life than this. Why can't I be happy with what I have?

Private coaching can help you figure out what you want in life and how to get there. With the help of a coach, you can finally start living the life you've always wanted. Coaching is an investment in yourself - one that will pay off for years to come.

Schedule your free session!

The tyranny of inherited dreams and how to get free from them

We’re all dreamers. Every single one of us. We have hopes, and wishes for ourselves, our loved ones and the future. Ask any person what they’d like to own or be and you’ll hear whispers of desire, stories of how things should be or could have been.

As a mentor to the unconventional I know a thing or two about dreams. I dive deep with my clients every day to help them figure out what they really want, and how to get it. Together we define a new path for their dream career or business.

Women come to me when they’re at a crossroad in their lives. They’ve been feeling that something’s off – sometimes for a really long time – and can’t ignore it any more.

They’re stuck in unfulfilling careers.
They’re tired of the endless and exhausting cycle of overwork and perfection.
They’re torn between their personal ambitions and the needs of others.
They yearn to grasp why – while doing everything right – they still aren’t happy.
They wonder what happened to them, and how they got where they are.
They’re weary of the guilt and shame for wanting what they want.
They’re tired of their self-doubt and lack of self-confidence.
They’re afraid of never being who they know they’re supposed to be.
They lack a sense of meaning, purpose, and direction in their life.

When I started working with these women I noticed something else about them.

They have many talents and passions.
They’re creative.
Hard-working.
Wholehearted.
Compassionate.
Ambitious.
Not afraid to get their hands dirty.
Smart.
Insatiable for knowledge.
And quick learners.

With all these amazing qualities, why is it so hard for them to figure out what they really want?

It’s the tyranny of inherited dreams.

Inherited dreams are the dreams we pursue but that we didn’t choose for ourselves. They’re a product of the world we’re born into. A mix of social expectations, false (limiting) beliefs about ourselves and the world, pressure to conform, and unwritten rules we believe we have to live by, passed down to us in childhood.

More often than not, we’re not aware those dreams aren’t really our own. But whether we know it or not, it’s incredibly hard to resist them. If we give in to them entirely (which, really, we’re all doing when we’re not asking questions), we turn into docile, sleepwalking robots producing what the system needs us to in order to sustain itself. While the system gets every need met, we estrange from our true nature, or deepest desires, and our authentic dreams.

I was a robot like that, from the day I started working as a freelancer to the day my parents passed away, almost two decades later.

• I wanted to be successful. Dressed in the nicest clothes, wearing expensive watches, carrying luxury bags, traveling the world, making tons of money. As a result I worked relentlessly – burned myself out – for years, trying to build the career I thought I needed to achieve that dream. I never got there…

• I wanted to be beautiful. Thin, youthful, tanned, smiling, hair and nails perfectly done, always put together. As a result I was on a diet from the age of 15, exercised excessively for the bigger part of my life. In the end I was never satisfied with my body or how I looked.

• I wanted to be liked. Catering to everyone’s needs, always aiming for perfection, as pleasing as I could be. As a result I was a push-over, had no boundaries, attracted the wrong partners, stayed in toxic relationships for years, had draining friendships, didn’t take care of myself, and was never really me.

Don’t misunderstand me. Wanting to be successful, beautiful or liked is all part of the bigger needs we have as humans: to be loved, to be fulfilled, to have purpose.

Love, fulfilment, purpose are NOT inherited dreams. They are our soulful connection to ourselves, and each other. They are our life breath. Without them we can never be truly happy.

What I mean by inherited dreams are the things we think we want in order to be loved, fulfilled, purposeful.

The culture we live in has made us belief that we can only achieve those things by being a certain way. Moreover, society also tells us that to be a certain way we need to have a specific and narrow set of material things and qualities.

• Success means money, status, power and all the “perks” that go with it. The clothes, the travels, the sandy beaches, the private jets. It also means being ready to do “everything it takes”, the glorification of busy, the relentless pursuit of productivity.

• Beauty means youth, thinness, whiteness. It also means being ready to starve yourself, to exercise beyond injury, to accept the dangers of surgery, and to reject and see as less than anything that doesn’t meet the beauty standard.

• Likability means politeness, not speaking too loud, being a good girl, and saying “yes”. It also means accepting others crossing your boundaries, putting yourself last on your list, bottling up your emotions, and not being your true self.

The issue with inherited dreams is that we don’t know they’re someone else’s. We’re so used to seeing others chase them that we believe we want to chase them too. No wonder we are. They’re EVERYWHERE. We read about them online or in magazines, we see them in movies, our friends have them…

I believe it is our right, as well as our responsibility, to look within ourselves. To examine, question and identify what we stand for so that we can live fulfilling, happy, courageous lives and pursue our own dreams.

The thing about inherited dreams is that they’re a construct. Just like all the rules that exist in the world, we – as a society – created them. Historical events, beliefs about the world, value systems upheld and shared by those in power all contributed to the inherited dreams we have today. But it wasn’t always this way, and it doesn’t need to be.

There’s something else buried deep beneath our inherited dreams.

Our truest, most authentic dreams. Our secret dreams.

Just like inherited dreams, I believe we all have secret dreams. The problem is that most of us have lost the map to find them in the pile of maps that lead us to other people’s dreams, a.k.a. nowhere.

To me, finding your way back to your secret dreams means dreaming bigger.

Dream Alchemy is a process of unraveling, imagination, and transformation. It’s not about having bigger or better versions of our inherited dreams. It’s about dismantling them. About admitting our most authentic, truest dreams to ourselves. About coming home to who we are.

Today I define success in terms of sustainability, self-care, and overall well-being both in my life and in my business. I define beauty through art, wonder, and curiosity. Inviting all that is unknown to me in, fighting for equality and justice. I define likability by how much of my true self I’m able to bring into my relationships, how much love I have to go through authenticity and respect for myself and others.

Does this mean I make no money any more or that I stopped shopping for clothes? No. What it means is that I now have a business that feels right to me, Smart Work™ systems that don’t exhaust me, marketing practices that are aligned with my values. I also still have a closet full of clothes. But I don’t need them to be happy.

My invitation to you is to question your dreams.

Ask yourself what really matters to you. Wonder about what you’d do if you knew you were loved unconditionally. Define what purpose means to you. Figure out what you really want. Question the rules you live by. Ask yourself where all those beliefs come from…

In other words: I want you to transform reality to finally fit your dreams.

Because yes, you have permission to dream differently – to dream YOU.

How to figure out what you want (what you really, really want)

Dreaming Bigger starts with figuring out what you really want. How else will you achieve it? Of course, this is much easier said than done. I know, believe me, I’ve been there. With a million ideas swirling in my head, stopped in my tracks not knowing how to start, or what to get started with first.

That’s precisely why it’s so important to know what you really want. For indecision is a dream killer. It will keep the most ambitious, creative change makers on the side lines procrastinating instead of taking powerful action. It will make us believe that we can’t do it, that it’s not meant for us, or that we don’t really want it after all (the worst one of all!).

So to dream bigger you need to gain clarity about what you want. There are many ways to do this, some easy others not so much. Below you’ll find 3 exercises that I have my coaching clients do, and that have proven to be successful time and time again.

How to figure out what you really want?

• Write Down Your Ideal Day

Whether you’re looking to achieve big goals in your career, business or personal life write down what your ideal day for each one that is relevant to you. If you want to figure out what career path to follow for instance, think about how you want to feel when going to work, what your environment might look like, what would bring you joy. Don’t be afraid to be specific. The more detailed your ideal day, the more clarity you’ll get about what it is you really want.

• Write Down a List of Things You Don’t Want

I know this may sound counter-intuitive, but it’s often easier to identify what we don’t want instead of what we do want. The format doesn’t matter. It can be a bullet list of things, a journal entry, even a Pinterest board of things that you want less of in your life, career, or business. Once you’ve identified what you don’t want, come up with the opposites, the things you want more of. If you wrote down that you want less time commuting back and to work for example, ask yourself how you’d love to spend that extra time. This will guide you to the things that really matter to you.

• Connect With Your Feelings

The third, and perhaps most powerful tip, is to connect with your feelings. I believe that deep down we know what we want, even if we’re unaware of it. By connecting with your feelings throughout your day at work or at home you’ll get a sense of the things that light you up, and those that don’t. The more you do this, and the clearer you become about what brings you joy, and happiness, the closer you’ll be to figuring out what you really want.

If you want more tips to get unstuck, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.