How to Stay Focused on Your Goals When Life Gets Busy

As I'm in the midst of launching nuumani.com, my new platform for coaches, I'm reminded about how life is nothing short of a whirlwind. As I juggle coaching clients, virtual book event preparations, relocation, and launching a new venture, I regularly find myself overwhelmed and wondering why I decided to do these things again.

In the busyness of pursuing my goals - the ones that shape my dreams and aspirations - meaning gets lost in the shuffle, and with it, the focus I need to stay on track. I'm not the only one experiencing this. Most of my clients share with me how they set out to do something, get excited and determined, and then life happens, and it quickly erodes their focus and drive.

The challenge then becomes to set goals and stay on track to achieve them - easier said than done.

For most professionals today, whether entrepreneurs, career professionals, creatives, or artists, the quest for balance and sustained motivation is not just an abstract concept but a practical need for personal and professional growth. In this article, we'll explore strategies for maintaining focus on our goals, even when times get too busy to take a breath.

The role of accountability in achieving your goals

As a coach with a decade of experience helping people get unstuck, I know accountability often plays an important part in helping someone achieve their goals. When we're held responsible for our actions, whether through a mentor, coach, or peer, we tend to perform better. But accountability is not just a tool for performance or productivity – it's a support system, a structure that helps to anchor our goals within the framework of our daily lives.

However, successful accountability structures are not one-size-fits-all. It's important to create an accountability system that will work for you by finding the methods and people that motivate you without adding undue stress or pressure to your already busy schedule. Regular check-ins, shared milestones, and even social commitments tied to our goals can all help us stay on track and turn our dreams into concrete, actionable plans.

The importance of clarity

One of the central pieces of my work is about helping clients gain clarity about what they really want. When we're stuck, we can only arrive at unclear or overly vague goals. A lack of specificity leaves room for ambiguity and excuses. When life gets busy, having a clear direction allows you to adapt and prioritize, ensuring that no matter what's blocking you, you're always trying to move forward.

The first step to figuring out what you really want is to consider both your long-term vision and short-term goals. This exercise encourages you to be honest about what truly matters to you, allowing for a better understanding of how different aspects of your life fit together. With this mindset, you can then set specific, achievable objectives that align with your purpose – and use them as markers on the road to achieving success. A tip I share with all my clients - and something I do regularly - is to document your goals and progress, whether in a journal, vision board, or digital tool. This allows you to track your growth and stay accountable to yourself.

Sometimes, the most significant step towards achieving our dreams is simply taking the time to figure out what those dreams truly are. So take a moment to reflect on your values, passions and purpose, then set clear goals that align with them.

Finding balance and prioritizing self-care

In our fast-paced world, balance and self-care often take a backseat to professional and personal demands. Paradoxically, these elements are critical to sustained focus and high productivity and performance. Neglecting our well-being can lead to many things, including burnout, which in turn can derail or halt even the most well-thought-out and planned goals.

Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it is strategic. It means setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and making time for the activities that recharge our batteries and inspire us. Finding balance is about recognizing that our goals are a part of our lives, not the entirety and that a holistic approach leads to greater long-term fulfillment. Especially when things get busy, blocking time in my calendar to do things just for myself has been a game-changer in maintaining balance and keeping momentum toward my goals.

The art of doing enough

The belief that every action must produce monumental results is a pervasive and destructive fallacy. In reality, daily, consistent effort often outweighs sporadic, intensive bursts. It's the art of doing enough - enough to push the needle forward, enough to maintain progress, and enough to remain engaged in the pursuit of your goals - that will ultimately make the difference.

This is the compound effect, where small actions, repeated over time, lead to significant results. Often, we underestimate the power of consistency and overlook the progress we make in our daily efforts. It also feels boring to many of us or not challenging enough to actually do. But herein lies the magic of it: you don't need to rush or do everything today; what you need is to build the habit of doing things steadily every day.

Trusting this process means letting go of perfectionism and celebrating each step forward, no matter how small. This mindset shift helps you stay motivated and committed to your goals for the long run. It's also a reminder that balance is not about doing everything at once but rather finding what works for you and sticking with it consistently.

So take a deep breath and let go of the pressure to constantly strive for more. Instead, focus on being present in your journey, embracing each stage as it comes, and taking small steps towards your goals every day.

Deadlines and urgency

I hate deadlines, and I love them. They're like a double-edged sword - on the one hand, they push me to get things done and give me a sense of urgency, but on the other hand, they can also cause me immense stress and anxiety.

Deadlines provide structure and motivation but can also induce unhealthy amounts of pressure. Let's not forget all deadlines are man-made! So, somewhere, someday, someone decided that this specific date and time was the deadline. Achieving this thing by then is not set in stone or predetermined by fate.

It's important to remember that your goals are yours, and there is no "right" or "wrong" timeline to achieve them. Instead of letting deadlines dictate your progress, focus on creating a routine and committing to consistent actions toward your goals. It's important to regularly review the urgency of our goals and align deadlines accordingly. Not everything we want to do needs to be done now, and setting unrealistic timelines based on external pressures can lead to missed opportunities, failed attempts at creating something great, and a massive amount of frustration.

The problem of all-or-nothing thinking

I used to be such an all-or-nothing person. If I couldn't do it or have it all right now, I wasn't interested in having or doing it at all! This mindset is a common theme in my clients that often leads to paralysis and inaction. It certainly was for me. When we perceive any imperfection from our ideal path as a failure, we set ourselves up for disappointment and, ultimately, a failure because we give up on our goals. Recognizing this false idea is the first step toward a healthier, more pragmatic approach to goal-setting.

To combat all-or-nothing thinking, it's important to reframe our accomplishments and mistakes as lessons and opportunities for growth. Small setbacks should not overshadow the progress we've made or the resilience we've shown. Additionally, not being able to do everything "right now" does not mean we can't still move forward and make progress. Whether it's taking small steps, adjusting deadlines, or seeking support from others, there are always options to do something productive toward our goals without falling into the trap of perfectionism.

At the end of the day, achieving your goals is a journey rather than a destination. You'll face obstacles and setbacks along the way, but that does not diminish the value of your efforts. Just keep going!

Transitioning from goals to actionable tasks

One of the biggest mistakes I see clients make is putting goals on their to-do lists instead of actionable tasks. Goals are great, but they can often feel too daunting and nebulous to tackle when you're sitting down to work. That's why it's important to break them down into specific, achievable tasks.

For example, instead of putting "write a book" or "website" on our to-do list, we can break it down into smaller tasks such as "write 500 words per day," "edit one chapter per week," or "get my about page done and publish it online."

Goals and tasks are not the same, and the distinction between the two is crucial. While a goal is an endpoint, a task is a step - a concrete and often immediate action that moves us toward that end.

I do this on a weekly basis on Sunday afternoon when I plan out the week ahead. I look at my goals and write out small, clearly defined tasks that I'm capable of doing in two hours or less. It's through the completion of these tasks that I've achieved all my goals - all my goals, no exception.

Remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint

In my eagerness to achieve, I often took a sprinter's approach at the start of a marathon project. What I've learned is that long-term success requires pacing myself and working in a sustainable way. It's about understanding that the pursuit of my goals is not a race to be won but a continuous effort to be enjoyed and maintained while I'm working at it.

By adopting a marathon mindset, it's easier to work with consistent effort and patient progress. You can recognize that each step, no matter how small, is a victory in itself and an integral part of the larger narrative of your personal and professional development and success.

In conclusion, the pursuit of our goals is an ongoing practice that requires adaptability, resilience, and a diligent commitment to personal growth. By nurturing a supportive environment, maintaining a clear vision, and sustaining a balanced approach, we can overcome life's busyness and achieve what we set out to do.

Remember, the secret to success lies not in doing it all at once but in doing enough consistently and with purpose. I believe in you!

Is life sidetracking your goals?

Don't worry, you're not alone. And I can help! Together, we'll build a personalized strategy to keep you on track toward achieving your goals while also taking care of yourself. Let's get started today!

Schedule a free coaching session to get started. Keep going. Keep growing. You got this!

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Brainstorming: The Disney Strategy For Finding Clarity And Getting Unstuck

If you're feeling stuck and need some clarity, brainstorming may be the answer! But not just any kind of brainstorming, the kind that doesn't kill your dreams before they even take shape in your mind.

The Disney strategy is a great way to get started. This strategy involves several steps for analyzing a problem, generating solutions or ideas to resolve it, evaluating those ideas, and finally constructing and critically reviewing a plan of action. I love this way of approaching a problem, especially when you feel there's nothing you can do to fix it. Often our lack of options or our difficulty in seeing the alternatives available comes from fear disguised as a strong focus to find flaws in any plan or course of action we come up with.

Clearly state the problem and brainstorm solutions

You start by clearly stating the problem or question you want to brainstorm about and what the task is you want to resolve.

For instance: "I want to move to a sunny location, preferably by the ocean, but I can't quit my job at the grocery store because I need to fund my life when I'm there. How can I ensure I will be financially secure to make this move?"

When I brainstorm possibilities or questions like this with clients, they all start with very few answers, sometimes none. But when we get creative, think outside of the box and go a little wild and crazy on what solutions might look like, we're always able to create an extended (and fun!) list of options to choose from.

For the question above, after a little bit of thinking and digging, the list might look something like this:

• Not move and stay where I am.

• Find a grocery store job where I want to be living.

• Start my own business.

• Get an inheritance, so I don't have to work at all.

• Move to a sunny location and get a job that can be done online.

• Start a GoFundMe page and ask for donations to help with the move.

• Find a wealthy partner who already lives by the ocean.

• Sell my art and pottery.

• Become a coast guard.

• Organize beach weddings and become a wedding photographer.

• ...

As you can see, the list above contains a mix of very realistic and not-so-realistic options. And that's ok! The goal is to get as many ideas on paper (or in your notes app) as possible.

Don't censor yourself while you're coming up with ideas

One unique thing about this approach is that no criticism is allowed while you're in brainstorming mode. And you're invited to come up with the wildest ideas and as many ideas as possible. This is what makes this method so unique. It's named after Walt Disney because he was a hard realist who was critical of his ideas and knew how to dream up the biggest and most impossible dreams first. 

After coming up with creative ideas, Disney also introduced the practice at his animation studios. He would encourage his animators to "go wild" with their ideas and generate as many possibilities as they could. While doing this, nobody was allowed to criticize or downplay an idea. No feedback at all was being given. The only goal was to come up with as many possibilities as possible. There was plenty of time to think about their feasibility later.

In the 1990s, Robert B. Dilts developed a creative technique based on how Walt Disney brainstormed and called it the Walt Disney method. The original technique is meant to help a small group of four to six people develop new ideas and solutions. The basis for this is three roles that Walt Disney used during his creative process: the dreamer, the realist, and the critic:

1. The dreamer: This person comes up with as many ideas and possibilities as possible.

2. The realist: This person is responsible for looking at the ideas and judging which ones are realistic and feasible and which ones are not.

3. The critic: This person's job is to find flaws in the ideas and help improve them.

Narrow down your list and set priorities

After you've come up with as many ideas as possible, it's time to evaluate your options, so you don't get overwhelmed by them. This is the realist's job. The best way to do this is to narrow down your choices using your intuition and ask yourself:

• What would you like to do?

• What could you realistically do in the short term?

• What are the most important factors for you?

• What are your priorities?

Once you're clear on your top priorities, start using logic to categorize them and make informed choices. List the positive and negative aspects of each option.

For example, if one of your options is to get a job at a grocery store, the pros might be that you would get a regular paycheck, and it would be easy to find jobs like this. The cons might be that it's not the kind of work you want to do long-term, and it's not in the location you want to be living.

Make a choice and create a plan to move forward

Once you've examined your options, weigh the pros and cons and then make a choice. This is where the critic comes in. They help you to find flaws in the ideas and improve them. After you've made a decision, it's time to create a plan and take action.

If you've decided to get a job at a grocery store, your next steps might be to research which stores are hiring in your area and then submit your resume. Or, if you've decided to start your own business, your next steps might be to research what kind of business you want to start and then create a business plan. Whatever you decide, make sure to put even a tiny plan together, so you know what the next step to take is.

The Disney Strategy is a great way to find clarity and get unstuck! Brainstorming is a great way to see all the possibilities out there waiting for you, but doing it without holding yourself back is much more powerful! So next time you feel stuck, remember Disney and try it.

You might be surprised by what you come up with when you don't put any limits on yourself.

Feeling stuck in your career and life?

Private coaching is a great way to get unstuck and find new opportunities. As a certified coach I will help you identify your goals and create a plan to achieve them. You’ll be amazed at how much progress you can make in just a few weeks.

Coaching can help you achieve anything you want in life. With the right coach, you can finally break through the barriers that have been holding you back for years. Stop dreaming and start doing – learn more about private coaching today!

Schedule your free session!

5 easy steps to set successful goals for yourself

Happy New Year! I absolutely love those three words, don’t you? They come bearing the gift of opportunity, and the promise of 365 days to create whatever your heart desires. A clean slate for you to play with, reinvent yourself, achieve your wildest dreams.

I’ve always had big dreams, and goals but it’s only in the last few years that I’ve become really intentional about achieving them. Every year I find that I’m perfecting my goal-setting techniques, rituals, and habits. And every year, I’m achieving more of what I want. So much so, that I created a goal-setting course called Dream Bigger that you can join here.

This program guides you through the process of dreaming big, and setting fulfilling goals for yourself, all the way to creating an actionable – and achievable – plan!

The amazing results that students have achieved using the program, and reflecting on my own successes, proves to me that nothing is impossible!

What really matters is not what your goals are, but how you set them.

So here’s 5 easy steps to set successful goals for yourself!

#1 Reflect and learn

If you don’t know what you’re doing wrong or right, you will never be able to use that knowledge to grow. So the first step when setting successful goals for yourself is to reflect on your successes and failures of the year that has passed. What goals did you achieve? What went well? What didn’t? And from that to distill some lessons learned that will help you to move forward faster in the new year, or to avoid the mistakes you made last year.

#2 Write, and dream big!

Planning your goals for the new year is like doing a gigantic brain dump. You want to get everything you want to accomplish, and achieve over the next 12 months out of your head and onto paper. The important thing here is to be as complete as possible and not to censor yourself. You have a permission slip to dream big. At this stage you don’t want to make your life dream realistic, you want make it really fantastic!

#3 Cut, cut, cut

If you’re familiar with the 80/20 principle you know that according to that principle 20 percent of what we do in life (and business) accounts for 80 percent of the results we achieve. Applied to goal-setting this means that less is definitely more! So review the list you’ve created for yourself in step 2, and identify the goals or actions that you either don’t really want to go for, or that will not bring in the returns you’re going for. Make sure to feel into your goals when you do this exercise, and to dismiss anything that doesn’t feel right for you. Ask yourself questions such as: How do I want to feel this year? Is this goal helping me do that? Do I really want this? What desire lies behind this goal or action? Is this the best way to achieve it?

#4 Organize

Once you know the goals you’re going to work towards this year, it’s time to get organized and structure your goals by creating a plan for yourself. You can do this in any number of ways, with Nathalie McNeal’s 5×5 quadrant for instance, or by organizing your goals per quarter, month, week, or even day. Whatever system you’re using, make sure you’ve got a clear overview of what it is you’re trying to achieve, create visual cues for yourself (hang your plan onto the refrigerator, on the wall in your office, in the bathroom…) to be reminder of your goals daily, cultivate action-oriented habits, and use planning tools to help you work on your goals throughout the year.

#5 Schedule, and keep yourself accountable

And finally… schedule. What gets scheduled, gets done. Have weekly check-ins to review your goals, and plan ahead. Put all your action steps in your calendar, and set deadlines for yourself. Don’t be afraid to keep yourself accountable, because that’s precisely what you need to reach your goals. And if going at it alone is too difficult, find yourself an accountability partner. Have regular check-ins with her, say what you’re working on, what you’ll do by when, and stick to it. The results you’ll achieve will be nothing short of a miracle, I promise you!

How to Write down your dreams to manifest them faster

Writing things down has many benefits. It helps to remember the important stuff, to clear our minds, even to feel and work through our emotions. When it comes to dreaming bigger, writing down your dreams is essential. Not only because of all the benefits stated above, but mostly because writing your dreams down will help you to clarify them, prioritise them, and to keep you motivated.

The busyness of life is something we all have to deal with to some extend. It’s easy to get swept away by it. When we’re running from A to B, tending to everything and everyone, trying to stay on top of things we can literally forget about our dreams. Sometimes for a little while, in some cases for years or decades.

We’ll attend to them soon, right after this one last thing is done. Or we’ll get started as soon as work is not so busy anymore.

If this sounds anything like you, know that you’re not alone. This was me for so many years too. I would keep on pushing my dreams further in my future, waiting for this one last thing to be done first. The problem was, there was always a next thing. Then a next one. And so on.

Until I started writing down my dreams.

About ten years ago, at the turn of the old to the new year, I stumbled upon Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map. I’d never done such extensive prep work to organise my goals or what I was planning on achieve the year ahead but something triggered me. I wanted to try.

What convinced me was what Leonie said about the type of people that actually achieve their goals. According to research 80% of people do not even think of goals (that used to be me). From the 20% remaining, 16% don’t write them down. From the 4% remaining only 1% writes goals down AND reviews them regularly. They have the highest success rates when it comes to achieving their big dreams.

Writing down my goals and sticking to reviewing them throughout the year was eye-opening for me. The first time I did it, I reached more goals in 12 months than I’d achieved in the past 10 years combined.

I’ve kept on writing down my goals ever since, tweaking and fine-tuning the process as I went on, and have become absolutely convinced it is an essential practice to achieve your dreams. We create what we focus on.

How to write down your dreams?

• Reflect on what’s important to you

As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, it’s easy for life and work to get in the way of our dreams. The busier we get, the less we remember what’s really important to us.

Make sure to carve out time regularly to reflect on what’s most important to you and to assess whether you need to make some changes to move toward your dreams.

• Create dream mantras

I love to work with goal or dream mantras with my clients. Instead of writing down pragmatic goals (which are great to have!) I love to go a step further, and infuse those goals with soul. That way the dream mantras become more than simply goals to achieve, they become an inspiring way of life, a path to our dreams.

To create a dream mantra start by writing down your goals.

Then, for each of them, write down how achieving that dream will make you feel and why you want to achieve it. Use the answers to those questions as building blocks to put together your dream mantra.

Prompts to help you craft your dream mantra:

I want to ….
so that I can / have  …
achieving this goal will make me feel … .

I want to write a book
so that I can share my story and inspire others to dream bigger
achieving this goal will make me feel proud, fulfilled, happy

Dream mantra: Be fulfilled and happy by writing an inspiring book about dreaming bigger.  

Once you’ve created your dream mantras write them down in your planner, on a sticky note, in your journal. Make sure to read them out loud at least once a day, preferably a few times more.

• Make it visual

There are many ways to write down your dreams. There’s the obvious note, journal or planner entry like I mentioned above. But it’s not because your goals are written down that you’ll actually remember them. In order for that to happen, you need to “see” them.

It’s a great idea to use sticky notes with your goals throughout your house or office. Places I particularly like for dream cues like that are the fridge, the bathroom mirror, my computer screen, a picture wall, and the pages of my planner. The point is to create a reminder system for your dreams.

Another way to visualise your goals is through a pictures.

I use a combination of Pinterest, pictures on my kitchen walls, and an art journal to keep track of the goals I’ve set for myself. Every day I’ll spend a few minutes browsing through my boards, or looking at the pictures either on the wall or in my journal.

If you want more tips to get unstuck, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.

How Maria Jose spoke at The General Assembly of The United Nations

Marie Jose is a Mental Performance Consultant, and PhD Candidate. One day a friend of hers told her about an essay contest to speak at the General Assembly of the United Nations.

Maria didn’t believe she could win or even know what she could write about, but the dream of winning an all-paid trip to New York, and to be able to speak at the UN pushed her forward. Here’s how she made her dream come true.

What was your big dream, and what inspired you to go after it?

One day a friend told me about this essay contest “Many Languages One World” to speak at the general assembly of the United Nations. This was a very cool contest since if you were selected, you would win an all-expenses paid trip to New York for a week. It did not matter where you were in the world they would fly you out to New York, and by the end of the week you would speak at the UN.

When he told me about that contest, I said, “great, you love the UN and you have a lot to say. I won’t apply because I’m not the kind of person who likes to write, I never wrote an essay in Spanish, and I’m certainly not going to write one in English”. I didn’t believe I had the skills to win, and I’m not the type of person who wins that kind of stuff anyway.

The topic of the essay was: “What does it means to be a citizen of the world?”. This only made things more difficult for me, as I did not feel like one, so I had no idea what to write.

However, days passed and the topic was on my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the reasons why I didn’t feel like a citizen of the world, and why I wasn’t qualified to write that essay. Suddenly it hit me… I could write about why I DIDN’T feel like a citizen of the world.

For a month I wrote notes on my phone whenever an idea would come up. Two weeks before the deadline, I was clear on what I wanted to write, so I put all my notes together and wrote my essay. I sent it to an advisor who gave me feedback, and suggestions on where to go deeper or explain some ideas more.

The night before the essay was due I edited it one last time. It was a Saturday night, and I was sleeping on an air mattress at a friends’ house. I remember thinking, “what is the point of writing this, I could be partying with my friends, I’m not even going to win”. But there was also another voice inside of me saying “you’ll have to swallow your words soon when you win. You’ll see! And it will be proof that you and anything can achieve whatever they set their mind to“.

The thing is, the friend who motivated me to participate – and who has a UN screensaver on his computer! – never turned in or even finished his own essay.

Did you always had this dream?

No. I didn’t think it was possible to speak at the UN unless you were President Obama or someone very important like him.

What was one of the first things you did to get you started?

I started writing some ideas on my phone, and thinking about the all the reasons why I was not a citizen of the world. I believe that it’s easier to start a difficult task if you have something done already. So, I knew that if I had enough ideas written on my phone, when I sat down to actually write that essay, it would not be as daunting.

What were the biggest challenges you faced in working toward achieving your dream?

My own self doubt, saying I was not the kind of person that could win a contest like this, let alone speak in front of the United Nations.

What do you wish you would have done differently? What would you warn others about?

Believing more in myself, having more imagination about the things that I could accomplish, and at the end recognizing that I actually wanted to win, instead of listening to the voice of doubt in my head saying I didn’t care when I actually did.

So I’d say my advice is trust that you want something, that it is a valuable goal, and believe that it’s worth spending your energy, and time on to achieve it.

Would you say you’ve achieved your big dream yet?

I certainly achieved this one! But I have many other dreams that I am working on!

One of them is to build my own consulting company, and to have an online practice about mental performance. I am working on an online course for people who want to perform at their best under pressure like athletes, and musicians do.

What do you think helped you achieve it?

Believing that it was worth the effort. Focusing on the process, more than the result. Taking it as a game, having fun, and teasing my own ideas. And writing from an intimate and authentic place, not trying to show or achieve anything, but connecting with my emotions and figuring out what was important to me.

What’s the best advice you have for others who want to follow their big dreams?

Trust that they are valuable dreams, and even if you don’t think you can achieve them, just because you have the dream makes it possible. People who achieved big things are just like you and me, but they trusted their dream, and went for it!

Maria Jose Speaking at The General Assembly of The United Nations

More about Maria Jose – www.mariajoseramirez.cl

Maria José Ramirez C. is a 34 year old mental performance consultant. With her work, she supports people perform at their peak potential by providing the tools they need to overcome their mental barriers and excel in their chosen field.

After 10 years of working with athletes, musicians and business leaders from around the world, and 15 years of study around the world (Chile, Canada, UK and The United States) she developed a program specifically designed to enable people to perform at their best under pressure, while living more authentically. Maria Jose currently lives in Pennsylvania, where she’s pursuing a PhD at Penn State University.

You can view Maria Jose’s UN speech online here: https://youtu.be/N-esrD9sIjo
You can read Maria Jose’s UN essay online here: https://acei-global.blog/2016/08/12/i-am-not-a-citizen-of-the-world/

Maria Jose’s favorite quote is:

Heed these words, You who wish to probe the depths of nature: If you do not find within yourself that which you seek, neither will you find it outside. In you is hidden the treasure of treasures. Know Thyself and you will know the Universe and the Gods.

– Delphi Oracle

Her dream for the world is:
That we can all live a more sustainable life. We need to realize how fortunate we are. We live in paradise but it is our insecurities, our lack of connection with ourselves ,and with what is truly important that makes us live superficial lives that are detrimental to us and the environment. When we live authentic lives we are aware of what is important to us, we have a why bigger than ourselves, and it becomes easier to choose to use our skills to serve ourselves, others, and the Planet better.

If you want more inspiring stories, I’ve got great news for you! This story is part of an interview series, you can find all entries here.

Want to achieve your goals? Make sure they feed your soul

Every year I do the same thing. Come November, I start thinking about what goals I want to achieve in the following year. And from that moment on until early January, I dream big, and write down everything that my heart desires. And what I’ve learned doing this is that if you want to achieve your goals, you have to make sure they feed your soul.

To stay on track and in action I use a systematic action-setting, and goal-review system that I’ve worked out over the years. As part of that system, by this time of year each year, when we’ve passed the six-month mark into it, I do a thorough mid-year goal review.

And every year, no matter how well I’ve planned in advance, I catch myself doing the same thing again. Because every year, six months into working towards my goals, I always find the odd one or two in the list that don’t work for me. I’m talking about the ones that I haven’t worked on yet, or have been procrastinating on, or have been working on at first, only to find that I’m not able to keep it up.

Before I would really get upset, or feel guilty, or a failure for not addressing these goals properly, or from being so bad at working toward them. But what I’ve learned since my early goal-setting days, is to stop blaming myself and to start by asking one simple question instead: What will achieving this goal really do for me?

And it is powerful, I promise you. By asking yourself this question you’ll start listening to your soul, and learn to connect with your emotions. And when you want to achieve your goals, that’s really what you need to do. Jotting down things on a piece of paper, without wondering how those things make you feel, or why you really want to achieve them, really does not make sense. Yet, we all fall into the trap (sometimes). Even after years of goal-setting, I know I still do!

The question here, of course, is why that is. And the simple answer is, because we go about setting goals the wrong way.

Think of your new years’ resolutions, and what eventually makes it onto paper. It might look something like this:

• Lose weight

• Quit smoking

• Get organized

• Travel more

• Read more

At first glance, there’s nothing wrong with this list. I’m sure that most of us want at least one or two of the things on it even. Still, there’s an issue. There is no purpose, no emotion, no feeling in a list like that. And without that, achieving goals is that much harder. Because in the end, the only reason why we ever really want to achieve anything, is to feel something, and to feed our soul. And that’s the reason why so many goals fail.

Now, that’s not to say that all goals you procrastinate on are orphan of purpose, absolutely not. There are many different reasons why we don’t achieve our goals, even the ones that really feed our souls. Absolutely. But if that’s not the case, if we don’t feel an emotional connection to what it is we’re trying to achieve, it will be really hard to do so. Or to sustain the effort.

Now that we’ve established that, I’d love for you to look at the example list above again. And ask yourself what you would feel if you where, let’s say, getting organized or reading more.

What would that bring you?
What would that change in your life?
What would the purpose be?
How would that feed your soul?

Getting organized might give you a sense of greater control over your life, or give you a greater sense of freedom. Reading more might be an activity you really enjoy, making your less stressed overall, enjoying things more. Or it might feed your insatiable appetite for knowledge.

The point is… those are your real goals: having a greater sense of freedom, enjoying things more, keeping a sharp and educated mind. And those are the goals that feed your soul.

The goal is almost always just a symptom of the real goal. And that’s were a lot of goals go wrong.

Losing weight is an even easier example. We never want to lose weight just for the sake of seeing the numbers on the scale go down. Ever. What we really want, when we say we need to lose weight – which is, by the way, the real goal we’re setting for ourselves – is always more personal, and more emotional. We want to lose weight because we want to feel sexy again, or because we want to feel wanted, or to feel healthier.

Notice the word feel in the last paragraph. That’s the essential word here. A goal should make us feel something, it should make our lives better, and make us happier. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t feed our soul. And if it doesn’t feed our soul, it’s going to be really hard to achieve. And by the way, why would you even try to begin with, if that were the case?

So if you find it hard to get started with a goal you set for yourself, or if you notice you keep procrastinating on it, I invite you to ask yourself what this goal really means to you, and how it feeds your soul. And if you find that it doesn’t, do like me when I find the odd one out: drop it, and move on.

Beautiful picture by Frederic Frognier – shotbyfred.com

How to get over impatience when setting or achieving goals

I was recently asked what I do to overcome impatience when I’m working on my goals or in the process of achieving them. Because keeping at it for a year – as I do and as I teach, encourage and guide my students to do in my goal-setting program – can certainly leave you feeling impatient at times.

The first thing that I want to address about this question is the concept of impatience. I consider myself to be a rather patient person, and yet, especially when my goals are concerned, that’s not always the side of me that shows up.

And what’s more, I know I am bound to experience impatience at one moment or another this year, and so are you. Just like we’ll all experience uncertainty, fear, insecurity, and perhaps even despair when it comes to achieving our most precious goals.

When you are actively designing your life – which is precisely what you do when you decide to set goals and work towards them – you will need reassurance sometimes that things will work out, and you’ll want things to move faster than they are – I can promise you that much.

Although we’re pretty good at delayed gratification, and although being able to wait for what it is that we want has been one of the key elements for our success as a species, sometimes we simply need to see the rewards of all of our hard work. And to see it now! But isn’t that normal? I mean, when you put a lot of time and effort into something, don’t you want to see results? Of course you do, delayed gratification or not!

So when it happens to you, don’t worry about it or be ashamed of it or to try and dismiss it. On the contrary, when you feel impatient, allow that emotion to exist and flow through you, so that it can pass. And once it does, get back to work.

The second thing I want you to consider is the many sources from which impatience can arise. It might be that the goal you are working towards is necessary for you to get out of a situation that you don’t to be in, like when you start a new business and you’re still working a day job until it’s profitable enough for you to quit.

Or it might be that impatience comes from the people around you, who don’t believe in you. And you want nothing more than to show those people how wrong they are, and how great you’re doing with your goals!

Or it might be that you have doubts and fears, and when results are not what you expect them to be, you start to worry.

In all these cases – and many more, I’m sure – impatience can set in. But when that happens, it’s important to remember the big picture: your end goal.

A great way to do this is to do a review of how far you’ve already come. The reason this helps is because, when we are looking to see results, we’re often so focused on the big stuff that we forget all the little steps we’ve taken already. A big result is often the end product of a long series of very small results. So make a list, recount all the things you’ve already achieved, and all that you’ve done, and remember that list or go back to it when you feel impatience creeping up on you.

Another thing you can do when impatience sets in is do something that you know will show immediate results. Be unreasonable with your goal for once, step away from your plan, and instead of taking another small step, take a bold one this time. This does not mean that you have to quit the day job, but perhaps there’s something that you can do for your goal that you know will have a big impact. Like when you’ve been contemplating to paint that room in your favorite color, but you’re still figuring out what that color is, exactly. Instead of focusing on color, why don’t you clean out the room and get it ready to be painted?

Or maybe there’s something you’ve been scared to do, or been thinking about but feel it’s too soon. Like sharing your big goal with someone, and telling them your vision so that they can dream of it with you. Whatever the case, I invite you to just do it. Calling in results like this will counteract your feelings of impatience – even if it’s not the end point of the goal itself, at least it will be an undeniable milestone that will bring your impatience to rest.

And, finally, it might be that you simply need a break. And maybe you have to do nothing for once, or sit in front of the TV and watch a movie for a while. Sometimes we need fresh air and a change of scenery for impatience to go away. Or we need to get it sidetracked by doing something entirely different. So if you know this is the case with you, take a rest and show yourself some love. After that, you’ll be less impatient and more energized, so that you can get working on your goals again.

But whatever the case, I choose to see impatience as a sign that I’m in action. And when I’m able to remember that, I feel good and proud, even when I have fears or doubts or when I’m not sure about my goals at all anymore.

Because by being in action, I’m the designer of my life, the captain of my ship, and despite impatience, I know I need that to be happy.

Ready to take action too? Why not start with a free 30-minute coaching session? I can’t wait to dream with you!