Everything in Life is an Invitation to Grow: Everything is a Grindstone

For many clients and myself, life often feels like a rollercoaster ride, filled with unexpected challenges and overwhelming experiences. More than any other, recent years have been one of perseverance and growth in ways I never thought possible. And there's a reason for that...

Reflecting on the past can be overwhelming, but instead of focusing on the negatives, I want to challenge you to think about everything that happened to you, all your experiences, and the difficult path you may have walked as a grindstone. This is how I've looked at life for the past few years; it has been so empowering.

A grindstone is a tool used to sharpen blades and tools. It's made up of rough surfaces that rub against each other, slowly but surely creating a sharp edge.

Similarly, if we decide to see it that way, every challenge we face is like a rough surface on our journey, constantly rubbing against us and pushing us to grow and become stronger. And just like a blade that becomes sharper with each pass on the grindstone, we, too, become sharper and more resilient through our struggles.

This may sound cliche, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Every setback, obstacle, and disappointment in your life is an opportunity to sharpen yourself and become stronger.

Everything is an invitation to grow, learn, and become a more resilient, stronger, and more capable human being.

When an obstacle shows up, when someone is shitty towards you, when you are being misunderstood or mistreated, instead of getting angry and defensive, say "thank you" and go to work learning and growing from it.

• Your ex decided to be a jerk during divorce proceedings? Say "thank you," and use this setback to become a stronger person with better boundaries and communication skills, and leave this experience with more grace, empathy, and power.

• Your boss is micromanaging you? Say "thank you" because now you can see how not to manage people, how to stand up for yourself, and communicate your needs effectively.

• You made a bad financial decision? Say "thank you" and use that experience to become a better money manager, to be more mindful of your spending habits, and to prioritize your financial goals.

Every challenge can be an opportunity for growth if we choose to look at it that way. And the best part? No one can take away what you've learned and who you've become through these challenges. They are yours forever and will continue to serve you in the future.

How to see your grindstones as gifts

I know, I know. Looking at challenges as "gifts" and saying "thank you" when someone is a jerk to you might sound... annoying, to say the least, especially when you're in the middle of a challenging situation. But here’s the truth - it’s all about mindset. You have the power to turn any trial into triumph. You really do.

Here are five steps to get started with your grindstones:

1. Acknowledge the trigger.
   Notice when something or someone gets under your skin. That discomfort? That’s your grindstone saying, “Hey, there’s something here for you to learn. Here's your chance to grow.”

2. Ask, “What’s the lesson?”
   What skill, habit, or strength is this moment trying to teach you? Is it patience? Assertiveness? Boundaries? Courage? Self-Esteem?

3. Flip the script
   Instead of thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “How can this help me grow? What can I get out of this?” Reframing challenges as opportunities will completely shift your perspective and help you achieve happiness and success much faster!

4. Seek the gift
   This might not come right away, and that’s okay. Reflect on what you’ve learned once the dust settles. Write it down and own that growth. You've earned it!

5. Say "thank you"
   Gratitude is powerful - even for the hard stuff. It’s how you take control of your story and become the knife that needs sharpening, not the victim who wants pity.

What’s your grindstone?

I invite you to embrace this grindstone concept as you reflect on how far you've come (and perhaps how stuck you feel). From this day forward, let's welcome every obstacle with open arms and see them as opportunities to sharpen ourselves, grow, and become stronger.

Trust me; this mindset shift will change your life.

Are you ready to embrace the grindstones in your life?

Imagine a life where you fully embrace your inner strength, where challenges are no longer roadblocks but stepping stones to success. It's time to let go, grow and finally get unstuck.

Don't let your grindstones go to waste. Take the first step towards freedom and potential and sign up for a free coaching session today. Your transformation awaits!

Schedule your free session!

How to enjoy the journey as you move closer to your goals

When working on big dreams it’s easy to get caught up in them. We get so focused on the end result that we lose sight of all that we already have. I know this is something I used to deal with a lot, and that I still need to be careful of.

It’s great to want things, and work toward them. But not to the extend that you’re unable to enjoy where you are right now, or what you’ve already accomplished. In fact, I believe you’ll have a better chance at achieving your goals if you find joy on the road that leads to them.

There are a few reasons for this, but the most important one is that the happier you are, the better you’ll be able to work on your goals.

You’ll have more energy, greater creativity and problem-solving skills, less stress, and more resilience. It will be easier for you to stay on track, focused, and to see things through when they don’t turn out as you’d planned.

How do you enjoy the journey?

There are many ways to enjoy the present moment, big and small. Here are three that I’ve found to be most helpful to me. They might be helpful for you too.

• Meditate

Having a daily meditation practice has changed my life. When I signed up for a transcendental meditation initiation I had no idea I needed it so badly. I remember the teacher talk about the benefits of TM to ground yourself in the now, to find more inner peace, to reach a state of bliss. I believed in the benefits of meditation, but I was still skeptical.

After about a month of daily practice (two sessions of 20 minutes each, one in the morning and one late afternoon) things started shifting. I became more aware of myself, and my surrounding. My perception of time changed. Where I was always in a rush before, I suddenly had more than enough time for work and play. I started looking at productivity in a different way. The relentless pursuit of productivity, a byproduct of the dominant economic system based on never-ending growth, didn’t work for me anymore. I wanted – and needed – a system where work was fun, sustainable, soulful. One that would take me into account, without being only focused on the end result.

If you never meditated before, I want to invite you to try. There are plenty of apps and websites out there that will help you get started. Even five minutes a day will make a difference. If you do have a meditation practice, or if you’ve tried it before I want to encourage you not to give up. It took awhile for meditation to become a daily practice that I enjoy, but the benefits absolutely outweighed the effort.

• Take a break

Sometimes what we need to find our way back to the present moment is a break from our dreams. Yes, I know how this sounds 🙂 But I’ve done it a few times over the years, and it works.

Especially as multi-passionate creative women it’s so easy to fall in the trap of busyness, to ambitiously and relentlessly keep working towards what we want to achieve. The more we work on something, the more new ideas we have about all the other things we want to do. Soon enough it feels like we have no time left, the urgency sets in, we get overwhelmed.

When this happens, take a break. In the end, you don’t need to do anything. I repeat: you don’t need to do anything. There is no outside force pushing you to achieve the goals you set for yourself. The pressure you’re feeling comes from within. So give yourself a breather. Drop everything. Convince yourself that you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to (which is true by the way). Take some time to relax, have fun, enjoy the present moment. Soon enough you’ll be back on the saddle (you can’t help yourself) and slaying at those dreams again – in a more mindful way. I promise.

• Count your blessings

There’s no better way to enjoy the journey than to be grateful for what you already have. So much has been written and said about gratitude. There’s a good reason for that. Having a gratitude practice shifts your mindset over time. By giving yourself a few minutes to feel grateful every day you’re allowing positivity into your life. These few minutes add up over time, and ripple into every other aspect of your life.

There’s plenty of ways to be grateful. A popular one is to reflect on three things that made you happy at the end of the day. I’ve had that practice for a long time, but eventually found myself repeating the same things a bit too often. My gratitude practice now includes a few minutes of deep breathing, smiling, and thinking about one thing that makes me happy in my life or my business. Sometimes I’ll pause and do it a few times a day (the endorphin release is addictive!), other times I’ll pause when I’m walking down the street and feel the warmth of the Sun on my face. It doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as you make it a conscious and consistent choice.

If you want more tips to get unstuck, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.

Gratitude as a pathway to success

Very often, we turn to science for help when we want to achieve something. Or medicine, for that matter. Sometimes it seems there is a pill for everything, or when there isn’t, we wish there was. Many of us look outside of ourselves for things that will make us feel better, gain more self-esteem, sleep better, be happier, be more productive, and so on. The list is endless.

And in all this, we forget the things that are closest to ourselves – within ourselves – and that cost us nothing to use or practice. Like gratitude.

There’s a lot of research that shows the many benefits of having an attitude of gratitude – an attitude defined by the simple act of being thankful: for your life, for your work, for what you have, for your health, for your friends and family members… for being alive. And for realizing what a miracle that is, and how fortunate you are for being able to experience it.

As Goeffrey James so beautifully says in this Inc.com article about the benefits of a gratitude muscle:

People who approach life with a sense of gratitude are constantly aware of what’s wonderful in their life. Because they enjoy the fruits of their successes, they seek out more success. And when things don’t go as planned, people who are grateful can put failure into perspective.

On the other hand, people who approach life with a negative attitude will approach success and failure in a completely different way, too, and will never be able to truly enjoy what they have worked for, or to cope well and overcome the failures that are inevitably part of life, and business, in a way that helps them to grow and move forward.

If this is true, and I believe that it is, the real question is: how can we remember to be grateful? And, how do we live with an attitude of gratitude?

In the prep program that I’ve designed to get clear on what you want and to turn that into actionable actions towards your goals (accessible for free to the members of The Boho Loft, by the way), there’s a section about gratitude and the importance of keeping a gratitude list.

During one of the group coaching calls, though, one of my students asked how to stay motivated to write down such a list “when nothing much happens in your life”. I thanked my student for this question, as this is something that has been hard for me to deal with at times, too. We live in a world where everything needs to be big and grand it seems, but gratitude doesn’t work that way. At least, not if you want a sustainable practice.

So, how do you keep an attitude of gratitude, whatever your day looks like?

1. Celebrate the little things

You don’t need be superwoman to be grateful. Look around you – at your life, at yourself. There are so many things to be grateful for, most of which go by unnoticed. Did you have comfy shoes on today (okay, that one might be tricky for some women, I admit), or did you have a beautiful pair on (there, that’s probably more like it)? Be grateful! Do you have a roof over your head, and enough food to eat? Be grateful. Is it warm enough where you are? Is the Sun shining? Be grateful. Did you see a flower today? Did someone smile at you? Be grateful. These are just a few of the many experiences and things we encounter on a daily basis in our lives, and yet we feel to recognize them for the blessings that they are. So, make sure to include the little things in your gratitude practice. Believe me, there is plenty to be thankful for.

2. Don’t be afraid to say ‘thank you’

I have found that saying ‘thank you’ to those around you for all that they do for you, and for what they mean to you, really helps to put you in an attitude of gratitude. And the added benefit is that you’re spreading the love and gratitude around at the same time. I have never seen anyone remain unhappy after someone thanked them from the heart. On the contrary, thanking someone almost always lifts the mood of that person, and of the one saying ‘thank you’, too. It’s one of the best remedies I know to get myself into a state of happiness. Try it, and you’ll see. Oh, and smile – that’s a good one, too, I promise.

3. Check in with yourself and count your blessings

Hectic moments can sometimes follow one another for days on end, without giving us enough time to even catch our breath, it seems. In the midst of chaos, take a moment to check in with yourself and remember something that you’re grateful for. It can be a little thing, or a big thing. Whatever you want, really. It might help you to keep a note on your phone, or on a card with a list of things you’re grateful for. Then, when it’s time to check in with yourself, just read the list and say “Thank you”.

4. Keep a gratitude journal

Writing things down is often more powerful than reading things, or even saying them out loud (it’s not me saying this; it’s research!). I cannot recommend anything more than for you to keep a gratitude journal. Journaling in general is a very efficient way to get to know your deepest thoughts and desires, and when you’re focused on gratitude, journaling becomes a way to see all the beautiful things in your life. Journaling doesn’t need to take long either; you can choose how long you want to spend writing. But I encourage you to try, and feel the benefits for yourself.

Ultimately, every day is a new opportunity for you to say ‘thank you’. And in the comments below, I’d love to know what it is you’re grateful for.