Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Boredom Versus Resistance: How to Know When to Quit?
Creative generalists (multi-passionate creatives) are a rare breed. We have more than one passion, and we don't want to choose just one path in life. But when boredom starts creeping in, it can be challenging to keep up the momentum of being creative or pursuing one or more of our interests. Resistance is often mistaken for boredom, but there's a difference between the two that you should know about if you're multi-passionate like many of my clients and me! In this article, I'll explore boredom versus resistance so you know when to quit on something and when it's time to push through and stay motivated.
Do you ever feel like giving up? Like all your efforts pointless? You're not alone! This feeling is known as boredom. It's when we no longer find a project or passion interesting enough to continue with. Often, we've reached what we came for in that project, job, or interest (usually some form of skill or new knowledge). We got what we wanted from it, so why would we want to keep going?
A new definition of done
We immerse ourselves into playing the guitar diligently every day for two years and then one day put the instrument to the side to not pick it up again for years. Or we decide we want to know everything there is to know about YouTube marketing, create the channel, buy all the courses, post a ton of videos, and suddenly decide to move on to something else.
Why do we do this? For most, finishing means an external endpoint, not for creative generalists. It's more an internal feeling of being done (bored) with something than anything else, often when, to the outside world, we don't seem done at all.
On the other hand, resistance shows up when something is important to us, when we're hitting on what matters most or makes us come alive. It's an inner feeling of not wanting to do something, even though we know deep down we want to or we should, often disguised as stress, anxiety, or fear.
Is it boredom or resistance?
For creative generalists, boredom is the internal feeling of not wanting to do something anymore because it feels like a chore when we've reached what we want from that project, job, or interest and feel no need to push through anymore.
On the other hand, resistance is a biological and evolutionary response to things that are important to us. It's a protection mechanism that is rooted in our fight-or-flight response. What resistance wants is for everything to stay the way it is. So although boredom and resistance can feel pretty much the same, they're each other's opposites! Boredom is a gentle nudge that you need change; resistance is a - often much harder - blow that you want things to stay the same, precisely when you should be moving forward!
Resistance is when we should push through boredom or whatever else we're feeling - fear, lack of self-confidence, doubt, self-loathing, procrastination - and continue with what we're doing for some other, more profound reason. It's that feeling of "I don't want to do this, but I just know it's the right thing for me" because it matters more than anything else in your life right now.
How to know the difference between boredom and resistance?
Knowing the difference between boredom and resistance can help you understand when to quit something and when to push through. Boredom means it's time for a change, while resistance is the only way we can get back in touch with what matters most right now.
If you're not sure whether you're experiencing boredom or resistance, here are some questions to ask yourself:
What is my goal with this project, job, or interest?
Have I reached that goal?
Do I still find this project, position, or interest interesting?
Why do I want to quit?
What would happen if I did leave?
Would I regret quitting later?
Answering these questions can help you determine whether you're experiencing boredom or resistance. If you're bored, it might be time to move on to something new. But if you're feeling resistance, it's probably because there's something vital that you need to do! Instead of quitting, take stock of what's going on emotionally. How are you feeling? What is that telling you about what you're trying to resist?
When to quit?
There's no shame in admitting that you're bored of something or ready for something new. It doesn't mean that you're a quitter or not good at it. It means that you've reached a point where you no longer want to continue with that project, job, or interest. And that's perfectly okay!
In summary, here's how to know when to quit:
The critical difference between boredom and resistance is that boredom feels like the project or job has become too easy. You've learned everything you wanted or needed to know from it, so the boredom feeling is our body telling us to move on and try something new.
Resistance happens when we're doing something important to us, or that needs our attention for other reasons. It feels like, "I don't want to do this, but I have to because it matters more than anything else."
If you're not sure whether you're experiencing boredom or resistance, refer to the questions above to find more clarity.
The most important thing to remember about being ready to move on to something else like a (multi-passionate) creative or entrepreneur is that your cut-off point, when you're "ready" with something, will often be different from that of other, more specialist people. So it's useless to mirror your actions to what they would do. They don't have your multi-passionate brain, and they're not you. How could you then know what you need or what is suitable for you?
So if you're feeling bored, it might be time to move on. But if you're feeling resistance, it's probably because there's something important that you need to do! Push through and see what happens!
Feeling stuck in your career or business?
You're not alone. Many people find themselves at a crossroads, not sure what to do next. That's where I come in - I'm a career and business coach with almost ten years of experience helping people figure out their next steps.
Quit your job? Start your own business? There are many options, and it can be tough to know which one is right for you. That's where I come in – I can help you figure out what to do next and put together a plan to help you achieve your goals.
The multi-passionate struggle: when quitting simply means you’re done
Being a multi-passionate person in today’s world can be difficult. Multi-passionate creative entrepreneurs are often told that they need to pick a thing and stick to it. But as multi-passionate people know, there’s no real way to do that. At least, not without feeling like you’re leaving out so much of your personality, so many of your passions and dreams. If this need to choose wasn’t enough, there’s something else that is equally annoying, or even worse. That’s the guilt accumulated from not seeing things through or finishing what you started.
But before I dive further into this…
What Is a Multi-Passionate Person Really?
The way I see it (I’m not alone in this), being multi-passionate is simply a personality denominator – not unlike being an introvert or an extrovert. It’s something that you need to be aware of and accept as part of who you are in order to be happy.
Just like introverts and extroverts, multi-passionate people have a number of common personality traits that define them. Especially when it comes to the passion part, where attention and distraction will often form a cycle of various stages that the multi-passionate woman goes through. Here’s a 5-stage example:
1. Beginning a Cycle
You’re at the beginning of a cycle, you’ve just found a new passion.
You’re interested, you start doing research, you learn and enjoy this process just for the sake of acquiring new knowledge.
2. Digging Deeper
You dig deeper and become more aware of the subject you’re interested in.
You might even get a little obsessed. This new subject is all that you can think or care about, you want to know everything there is to know about it.
3. Telling People
You’re starting to tell people about it.
You’ve mastered enough information, you want to spread the love and passion all around. Whatever it is, you’re talking about it – a lot.
4. Formalizing Knowledge
You want to formalize this knowledge and pass it on.
You feel the urge to teach others, so you start a project or put something into place that formalizes the way you share information about your new passion.
5. Starting to Lose Interest
People want what you’ve got – you’ve hooked them – but now you’re starting to lose interest.
You’re not at the end of your learning curve. You’re just at the beginning or in the middle of sharing your knowledge. But here comes something else into your path, you know it’s time to move on. This coming usually at a point where the outside world will call your work unfinished.
Although the entire process is usually amazing, that last stage often comes with a good dose of guilt and negative feelings. Because, for many multi-passionate people, the journey matters more than the outcome. So, things are left unfinished, or interests change and projects are left for later.
To the multi-passionate person herself, this is not a problem. She’s usually happy with the choices that she makes, with where her passion takes her. It’s for those around her that leaving things the way she does is difficult. In turn, this makes things difficult for her.
We Are Raised to Do, to Achieve
A big part of that is finishing things. Projects and other things we creatively undertake. Even the things we want to learn and master, usually have beginnings, middles, ends. Yet, for multi-passionate women, it’s not finishing that matters. It’s cultivating knowledge, learning something new, mastering a new skill…
Many multi-passionate women are often done with that long before their projects are finished. That’s where the issue lies. Although, as a multi-passionate woman, you might feel satisfied and ready to move on, the world around you tells you you’re a failure, or lazy, or that you can never see anything through. You feel guilty.
But I’m here to tell you that there is no reason for you to feel this way!
You Must Finish What You Start
“You must finish what you start” is a common belief that is certainly true for many things, very helpful to getting things done, I have no doubt. When it comes to multi-passionate creatives, in many cases, this is nothing more than a limiting belief holding them back from being who they are.
Don’t understand me wrong here. I’m not saying that nothing ever needs to be finished, or that systematically leaving things undone is always OK. That’s not what I’m after here. What I am saying is that it’s part of the personality of multi-passionate people to have changing interests once the learning is done, or once a skill is acquired. That is perfectly OK, too.
You might find yourself at a crossroads in your life right now. Maybe a hobby doesn’t serve you well anymore, or maybe you’ve learned all that you could from a particular interest. It might also be that you’re contemplating a much more drastic change, like walking away from a PhD program after investing six years of your life in it, or deciding that your online business isn’t cutting it for you anymore.
Those Are Big Moments, Big Decisions
I want to encourage you to think about yourself and your happiness when you make them. Feel through the guilt and the shame, to what lies ahead on the other side of that: freedom to do what you want to do. Don’t listen to the naysayers, accept that very few people will encourage you at this point. Simply because only a few see the world the way you do.
If that’s your case, if you’re at that point right now, I want you to know that I’ve been there, that I know. I’m so very proud of you. I promise you that quitting is not giving up, or giving in, or lacking willpower.
Quitting, at this point, simply means you’re done.
Do let me know below what crossroads you’re on, or have been on in the past. Where your decisions ultimately led you. I would love to know.
Do you have multiple passions?
We are all born with multiple passions, but many of us lose touch with them as we grow up. We start to think that it’s not possible to have more than one passion at a time. But the truth is, if you want to be successful in business and life, you need to embrace your multi-passions. It will help you become happier and more fulfilled in every aspect of your life.
But what if you're not sure what your passions are? Or if you're afraid of pursuing them because you don't want to fail? That's where private coaching can help. I can help you figure out what your passions are and how to use them to create a successful business.