Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
How to Overcome the Freeze Response When You Need to Make a Choice or a Decision
Feeling stuck? Afraid to choose between all the things you could do or want to do? You're not alone. Many people, especially those with numerous ideas and interests, are frozen by the fear of making the wrong choice. This paralysis can be particularly crippling for entrepreneurs and creatives. Let's explore where this fear comes from, why it's vital to take action even if we're unsure, and how to "combine" instead of choosing, using my unique coaching method. We'll also uncover the truth about clarity — it's more about elimination than you might think. Finally, I'll share three actionable tips to help you move from freeze to flow so you can unlock your true potential and finally do what you want!
Where does the fear come from?
Oh, well, hello there, perfectionism! Even though the fear of making a mistake can take many forms, and we'll explore a few below, behind the biggest lot of it, there is one thing hiding: perfectionism. You know, that thing that makes you think if you can't do it perfectly or choose the perfect course of action, then why bother at all? As ironic as it may seem, perfectionism often leads to procrastination and inaction.
This fear is also amplified by our society's obsession with success and failure, the pressure to comply with what our parents, loved ones, and even friends think we should or should not do. We are constantly bombarded with messages about "the right way" to do things and the "perfect" path to success. This can lead to a fear of failure, disguised as a "fear of choosing," as we fear not living up to these expectations or being judged for our choices.
Societal pressures
Society often sets high expectations, making us believe every choice is monumental, set in stone, and forever. But nothing could be further from the truth. We are conditioned to seek perfection and avoid failure at all costs because we think that we must stick to it at all costs once we have chosen something. This societal pressure can lead to analysis paralysis, where the fear of making a mistake outweighs the desire to move forward.
The truth is that nothing is ever written in stone. You are an evolving and changing being, and you can change your mind.
The dilemma of choice
With so many options available, choosing itself becomes daunting. The paradox of choice, though, suggests that having too many options can lead to anxiety and inaction. When faced with multiple opportunities, the fear of missing out (FOMO) on the "right" one can freeze us in our tracks.
The funny thing is that not choosing is also making a choice - not taking action and staying exactly where you are, which often leads to regret and a feeling of unfulfillment.
Fear of mistakes
Mistakes are often seen as failures rather than learning opportunities. The fear of making the wrong decision can be so overwhelming that it prevents any decision from being made at all. The result? You stay stuck, unable to move forward or seize new opportunities. I am so frustrated by this! Without "failure," there can be no learning; without learning, there can be no growth.
Reframing mistakes for what they truly are is important: growth moments on your path to success.
Why it's essential to take a step even when we don't know everything
Progress over perfection
Taking imperfect action is better than taking no action at all. Every step you take, even if it's not perfect, brings you closer to the clarity you're looking for in hesitating to make a choice. I know this is such a paradox, but it's true: you need to try things out to know what you want. Remember, you can't think yourself into anything; you have to take action to get there.
Learning through action
You learn more from doing than from overthinking. Each action provides valuable feedback, helping you refine your approach and make better decisions in the future. Inaction, on the other hand, offers no learning experience at all - except confirmation that you're not doing anything, which, in the long run, will be detrimental not only to your success but also to your trust in your abilities to actually get things done.
Building momentum
Action creates momentum. Once you take the first step, the next steps become easier. Where attention goes, energy flows. Momentum builds confidence, which, in turn, reduces the fear of making mistakes. Before you know it, you're moving forward with greater ease and assurance. It's almost like magic: the steps you once thought were impossible to figure out now offer themselves to you without you even thinking about it. It's called creative action, and I love it!
How to "combine" instead of choosing
My coaching methodology - The MOVE method
Rather than forcing yourself to choose between multiple passions or ideas, consider how you can combine them - or at least the elements you like in each. This approach allows you to explore different interests simultaneously, creating unique combinations that can lead to innovative solutions and new opportunities. If you want to learn more, schedule a free session with me by clicking here. This is the work I do with clients every day! If you want to know how they have experienced working with me, you can read their success stories here.
Integrative thinking
A big part of my work is helping my clients think of their various interests as pieces of a puzzle. How can they fit together to form a cohesive, sustainable, enjoyable picture? By combining different elements, you can create something unique that leverages all your skills and passions. The best part? You get to decide which parts to keep and which parts to let go of because, yes, you have the right to do that!
Examples of combining interests
If you're passionate about writing and technology, consider starting a tech blog. Love cooking and photography? Create a culinary Instagram account. Want to travel the world and have a daily writing practice? Build a travel blog like my client Lot did. She travels for free to the most unique locations and gets to write about it, too! The possibilities are endless when you allow yourself to think integratively.
The truth about clarity
I touched on it earlier in this post. Clarity is often misunderstood as a state of knowing exactly what you want. In reality, it's more about eliminating what you don't want. By trying different things and discarding what doesn't work - also on a bodily level, that is, really feeling it, you gradually gain clarity on what truly resonates with you.
Clarity comes through iteration. It's not a one-time event but an ongoing process of experimentation and growth. Each experience teaches you something new, helping you refine your path and focus on what matters most.
Finally, trust that clarity will come with time and action. Don't sit around waiting for it to appear magically; go out and do something. Don't rush the process or force decisions, though. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and discover your true path organically.
Three tips to get out of freeze and choose or make a decision
1. Do something
Honestly, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. Take a deep breath, look at your to-do list, close your eyes, and, with your index finger, point at something on your list. Whatever you've pointed at, start doing it. This is the best way to get out of indecision and find clarity. Taking action will give you a sense of momentum and help you break out of the mental freeze.
2. Seek inspiration, aka practice productive procrastination
If you're feeling stuck, seek inspiration from outside sources. Read a book, watch a movie, listen to a podcast, or talk to someone who inspires you - make sure whatever you do is somehow connected to your goal. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh perspective to spark new ideas and inspire clarity. So, if you're trying to start a business, and if nothing else, have a coffee with an entrepreneur; if you're procrastination on a health goal, do five minutes of stretching, go outside, or look up the gyms in your area. However small, the step you take will unlock the freeze and give you a sense of empowerment.
3. Seek support
Don't try to do this alone, especially if you've been stuck or in freeze mode for a while. Seek support from mentors, coaches, or like-minded peers. They can provide valuable insights, encouragement, and accountability, helping you stay on track and move forward. Also, don't forget about the power of vulnerability and reaching out to friends or family for emotional support. Sometimes, a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on can make all the difference in finding the courage to decide and take action.
Overcoming the freeze response so you can choose something or decide is a challenging but necessary journey. I see it in my coaching practice every day, but I also see how clients get out of it. By understanding the root causes of your fear, taking imperfect action, and combining your interests, you can break free from paralysis. Remember, clarity is an elimination game, and taking small steps will lead you closer to your goals.
Ready to take the next step? Click here to sign up for my upcoming Free Dive Deeper Webinar on June 19th at 2 pm EST / 8 pm CET to learn more about my MOVE method, how to beat perfectionism and procrastination, and finally get into action!
Feeling stuck in an overthinking loop and unable to make a decision?
Working with me is a great way to get unstuck and take action. We'll work together on identifying what is keeping you stuck, and I'll help guide you to the life and work you want.
Imagine your life if you could finally break free from the chains of overthinking, doubt and fear. How much progress could you make if you had someone supporting and motivating you every step of the way? Sign up for a free session today and find out.
Rediscovering the Excitement in Your Work: A Quick Guide for Bored-Out Creatives
Do you dread going to work in the morning? Do you feel less and less passionate about your job? Do you find yourself daydreaming about a different career path? Are you bored out of your mind just by thinking about your day ahead? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, this quick guide is for you.
As a creative person, I understand the struggle of feeling uninspired and unfulfilled at work, especially when you think your skills and talents are underutilized. This can lead to burnout, which can affect your productivity, mental health, and, even worse, sometimes bore-out.
What is bore-out? And are you suffering from it?
Bore-out is a state of chronic boredom and disengagement at work, which can be just as damaging, if not more, than burnout. Many of the creative generalists and entrepreneurial clients I coach suffer from it. It's characterized by a lack of motivation, boredom, and apathy toward work. Unlike burnout, where you may feel overwhelmed with too much work, bore-out stems from not having enough challenging tasks or opportunities to use your skills. This can result in a loss of meaning and purpose in your job.
If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing bore-out. Of course, leaving your job for something more exciting is always an option. But perhaps you don't want to go because you love what you do and simply lost the spark.
When 'settling' becomes the norm
Sadly, for many people, work is something they endure rather than enjoy. Gradually accepting boring jobs is a silent killer of professional dreams. But why do so many people let this happen? The golden cage, of course, but also the fear of change, a desire for financial stability, or simply not knowing what you want can keep you stuck in the status quo.
The problem with staying in a job that bores the living life out of you is that it has a ripple effect. It impacts your career, mental health, and personal relationships. In my practice, this is often a sign that my client's professional life needs a radical shift - or a career redesign.
The problem is, how do you find inspiration again when you're bored out of your mind? How do you avoid falling into the same trap in the future?
Understanding the spark you've lost
Before I share a few tips with you on rediscovering work excitement, it's essential to understand the reasons behind job bore-out. These can stem from various issues, such as:
Monotony: When your job doesn’t challenge you, and the tasks are repetitive and not complex enough, it’s easy to become disinterested.
Mismatch of skills: If you feel that your talents or skills aren’t being utilized, this can lead to a sense of your capabilities being underutilized, which in turn causes you to feel unfulfilled and bored.
Lack of autonomy: When you don’t have control over your work or decision-making, it can make you feel like you’re not contributing to anything meaningful. This lack of agency can lead to feeling disengaged and uninspired.
Lack of growth opportunities: Without clear paths for career advancement or learning new skills, you may feel stuck in a dead-end job. This can lead to a lack of motivation and interest in your work.
There are more reasons to feel bored at work, but these are some of the more important ones. Now that you understand some of the causes let’s explore a few ways to reconnect with our work and find joy in it again.
How do you rediscover the excitement in your work?
To escape the bore-out cycle without having to quit your job, here are a few tips to help you rekindle your passion and creativity:
Identify the root cause: The first step in overcoming bore-out is understanding why you feel this way. This is usually a long and reflective step when I work with clients. Is it because of a lack of challenging tasks? Are you not using your skills to their full potential? Do you feel like your talents are being wasted? Is your manager not providing enough guidance or support? Once you identify the root cause, finding a solution will be easier.
Set new challenges for yourself: If your job has become too routine and mundane, try setting new challenges yourself. This could be taking on new projects, learning new skills, or volunteering for tasks outside your usual responsibilities. You can do this by yourself or include your colleagues or manager. This will not only make your work more interesting, but it can also help you develop new skills and grow professionally.
Take breaks and disconnect: Being constantly connected to work can lead to burnout or boredom. Taking breaks throughout the day and completely disconnecting from work during your off-hours is essential. This allows your mind to rest and recharge, leading to increased creativity and productivity when you get back to work. Set boundaries and stick to them, even if it means saying "no" to extra work or checking emails during off-hours.
Find meaning in your work: People become bored with their jobs because they don't see the purpose or impact of their work. This is also one of the main reasons people lose motivation. To counter this, try to find meaning in your job by connecting it to a larger goal or purpose. Understand how your role contributes to the well-being of others and the company's mission and vision. Knowing that your work has an impact can help motivate you and make you feel more fulfilled.
Seek out new opportunities: If you've been in your current job for a while, it's natural to feel like you've hit a dead end. However, there are always opportunities for growth and advancement if you seek them out. This could be through networking events, professional development courses, or even applying for new positions within the company. Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and take on new challenges. It can help reignite your passion for your job and open up new career opportunities.
I help creatives and entrepreneurs get unstuck. This often means that with the work we do together, they transition into new and better careers. But the pursuit of an exciting career doesn't mean you have to quit your job. The path to fulfillment and professional success is not often linear, and change is rarely immediate. Figuring out what a great career is for you is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth.
By recognizing the reasons behind your work boredom, addressing your fears and blocks, and actively looking for renewed excitement, you can find joy and purpose in your work again. So keep going. And if you need help, I'm here for you!
Feeling stuck in a career that no longer excites you?
You're not alone. Many creatives and entrepreneurs are looking for a spark in their professional lives. That's why I offer a free coaching session for individuals just like you who are ready to break free from the monotony and rediscover what it means to be truly engaged and fulfilled in your work.
Don't settle for boredom. Explore your potential, redefine your path, and find a new spark in your career. This is your chance to get personalized guidance, gain clarity, and take the first step toward a job that not only pays the bills but excites and inspires you!
Breaking Up With Your Job: When Passion Burns Out and It's Time to Move On
Even though I've been an entrepreneur for over two decades, I know what it feels like to break up with a job. I've had my share of corporate projects and freelancing contracts that stopped lighting me up after a while, and that I simply had to leave.
Leaving a job is a lot like breaking up with someone. At first, it's all fireworks and heart-eyed emojis. But slowly, the magic fizzles, and you can't remember why you fell in love. Maybe your boss is the clingy type who texts you at 3 a.m. with “emergencies,” or perhaps your once-thrilling work has become as monotonous as folding laundry. Whatever the reason, the spark is gone, and you're left wondering how to part ways with a job that you once thought would be your happily ever after.
But, my fellow career explorers and relentless seekers of inspiration and fulfillment, this isn't the end. It's a crossroads that can lead to something new and wonderful. Like a perfect storm, this might just be the nudge you need to guide you toward a path that aligns with you more. The reason you don't like your job anymore might not be because the job has changed. Perhaps it's you who has outgrown it.
I'm here to guide you through the steps of such professional uncoupling. In this article, let's explore how to break up with your job when the passion is gone so you can move forward with your career and find a job you love.
Recognizing it's time for a professional goodbye
When I was in my twenties, I thought I had it all figured out. I was passionate about my work and believed that passion would never fade. I was building my web agency and enjoyed every part of it. But as the years went on, I felt like something was missing. The passion I once had for my work was gone. Then, my parents passed away five weeks apart from each other. It was the final straw that made me realize that I needed a change.
It doesn't need to be a dramatic event like I had to go through, but at some point, something will make us face the cold truth that the job that once felt so exciting now feels like a dead weight chained to our ankles. It's not an easy feeling, especially when you've dedicated time and energy, years in my case, to building something for yourself.
As I mentioned in my book, the breaking point is different for everyone. Maybe your creativity has suffered, or your once-quiet office has become a crowded tearoom where you can't find a minute to think. There could be a number of reasons or a single, clear sign telling you that it's time to move on. The important thing is to listen.
Love the job you're with, or move on?
I know it's a cliché, but there's truth to the saying, "Find a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life." The question is, was that job truly love for you or was it more like a fling? There's no shame in wanting more or seeking a career you're passionate about. You want it in your romantic relationships and deserve it in your professional life, too.
So what now? After you realize that you no longer love the job you're in, where do you go from there? Do you stay or do you go? Thinking about starting over or making a significant career change can be scary and overwhelming. But remember, this is your life, and you deserve to live it fully and passionately. Never let fear stop you from doing something you want to do, and certainly don't let it keep you from pursuing your dreams.
Rekindling the spark - or is it too late?
Sometimes, the love isn't over; it's just hiding, buried under the routine of the daily grind. Perhaps all you need is a little counseling and a professional therapist for your work life. I always tell clients that, before they take the leap, they should reach out to mentors, work with a career coach, and look for opportunities within their current company that may reignite the passion they once felt.
It’s essential to figure out if it's helpful to do the work to fix what's wrong or if the issue is simply irreparable.
The road to career satisfaction is not always straight - often, we take detours. But with perseverance and a willingness to figure out what's wrong, sometimes (not often), it's possible to rekindle the spark you a job you once loved.
Crafting your career path - the friendly breakup
As someone who has been helping creatives and entrepreneurs get unstuck for a decade now, I know how creating a plan for the next steps in your career can feel daunting, like when you decide to "put yourself out there" after a breakup. It’s exciting, invigorating, and scary, especially when you've been in a job that is stressful or bores you out for a long time.
You can start by creating a career roadmap of where you want to be in six months, a year, and three years. What do these milestones look like? What industry or roles are you looking for? You'll need some clarity to take the first step towards your ideal job. (If you need some guidance with this, I can help!)
Make sure that, as you go through with this breakup, you do it amicably. This is the best advice my father ever gave me. Burning bridges means you can never cross the river again, but in our professional lives, the river has more twists and turns than a Tom Clancy novel. Respect your current role, boss, and your colleagues (even if they've been crappy to you, don't leave slamming doors if you can). Give notice, be open about your reasons for leaving, and be willing to help make the transition as smooth as possible (expect if they've been real d*cks with you). How you exit will influence the next chapters of your career, and you want those stories to be ones of grace and dignity.
The post-breakup glow-up - finding that new job!
When you've been under pressure for a long time, knowing you need to do something about your situation while being stuck in overthinking and hesitating, finally breaking up can be liberating. Believe me, I know. I have a few projects (and exes, ahum) that I lingered with for way too long. When you finally cut ties, it's the perfect time to redefine yourself and address the parts of your professional life that no longer serve you.
Take your time with the healing process; take the time to learn and grow from this transition. Use this time to reflect on what you truly want in your career and take steps toward achieving those goals. It could be taking a course, networking with people in the industry you want to enter, or updating your LinkedIn profile.
Remember to stay true to yourself throughout this process. Don't let outside pressure and influences keep you from pursuing what truly makes you happy. This is your journey, and embracing change and finding your passion is a rebellious act that will ultimately lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
The role and benefits of a career coach
Trying to figure out your next career move alone can be challenging. This is where a career coach - like Moi - can play the role of your professional wingman, your relationship advisor for the professional world. A good and experienced career coach can help you assess your skills and passions, identify your career goals, and help create a strategy to find a job you'll love.
As a career coach, I guide my clients in times of uncertainty and change. My path to becoming a career coach wasn't a straight line; it resulted from my journey, trials, lessons, and a desire to change careers and help others do the same. I understand the courage it takes to question the familiar, to stand at the cliff of your future, and dare to dream of more. My approach is deeply personal because I believe each person is unique, and no single blueprint can fit us all.
If you want to know more, I poured everything I learned in the decade I've been doing this work in my book called "Get Unstuck!" Click here to get your copy now.
If you're looking for more personalised support, we can work together one-on-one to explore not just the "what" of your next steps but the "why" and the "how," creating a strategy that aligns with what you want and your deepest values and aspirations. It's more than finding a job; it's about imagining and creating a career that fills your life with purpose and joy.
That job you love is waiting for you, I know because I've been helping people just like you find theirs for ten years now, and I'm here to help you find it too!
Ready to break up with your job and find the career of your dreams?
Many clients experience fear, doubt, and hesitation when considering a career change. But with the right support and guidance, you can break free from the comfortable but unfulfilling job and find a career that truly makes you happy.
Book a free call with me - your career wingman - today and take the first step towards your dream career!
Creative Generalists Don’t Fit In and That’s Okay! (P.S. you can stop applying for specialist jobs now)
When we were cave people, each one of us was good at multiple things. You had to be. We lived in a community where everyone worked together. Sure, there were some people who were better at hunting than others, and some that were better at taking care of the children or gathering roots and berries for supper. But everyone needed to have all of the skills so that if one person died, the rest of the community could still survive. Imagine if one person in your community was the only one with the skills to start a fire and then they were gone? The rest of the community would not survive the winter.
Somewhere along the way, between the agricultural and the industrial revolution, society decided that having a specialty was more important than having multiple skills. We started going to college to specialize in one type of career, and if you were unable to make up your mind on what you were going to major in, you felt like an outsider. The day I realized I could have as many jobs in as many fields as I wanted, was the day I learned real freedom.
Unfortunately, it can be a tough lesson to learn and an even tougher path to take because we are conditioned from birth to think we have to pick one job, one career, one skill for the rest of our lives. If we try to transition out of that role to something different, we are often looked down on.
With clients, I often share the story of The Ugly Duckling because it’s so similar to what creative generalist experience. In the story, the Mama Duck is waiting for her six ducklings to hatch. One day, five of the eggs hatch, but the biggest egg takes its time and hatches the next day. When it finally breaks out, the duckling is “odd-looking.” Not only is he much bigger than his siblings, he’s dark gray instead of yellow and walks with a funny wobble. Immediately, his siblings see - and point out - that there is something wrong with their brother. Mama Duck gets upset and takes them all swimming. The other ducklings call the Ugly Duckling ugly the whole way to the pond. The Ugly Duckling could swim like his siblings, but when he tried to play with them, they wouldn’t and instead made fun of him for being different.
One day, the other ducklings told him to leave, and he did. On his journey away from his family, he tried to fit in with a number of other animals, including two adult ducks. But he didn’t fit in anywhere until he found a new lake and a flock of large white birds flying overhead. They were beautiful, with long white bodies and slim necks. He watched them glide through the air and fly away. The Ugly Duckling was all alone and spent the winter by himself before being rescued by a farmer.
During the spring, the farmer brought him back to the lake where he met the beautiful white birds again who invited him to be friends and to fly with them. When he saw his reflection in the lake, he realized he looked just like them. He was no longer the Ugly Duckling but a beautiful swan.
If you’ve felt like the Ugly Duckling know this: there’s nothing wrong with you, you’ve just been misdiagnosed. You’re ont a duck, you're a swan! Creative generalists don’t need to fit into specialist jobs. We need to embrace being different; embrace being rebels and having an inner activist that hates injustice, authority and has a strong sense of right and wrong. It’s ok to go after all of the jobs, roles, and careers you want to pursue. It’s ok to break away from the people, places, and things that make you feel like you’re not good enough and have to conform. If the Ugly Duckling had stayed with his duckling siblings, he would have felt bad about himself his entire life. He would only have focused on how he was different from the rest, instead of realizing how awesome he was! By leaving the nest, he was able to find out he was a swan and that he did belong. He was able to embrace his differences and be himself.
We need to be more like the Ugly Duckling and embrace our differences so we can really excel in our lives. It’s okay to be outside the norm, to be unconventional - it’s actually a superpower! So stop trying to squeeze yourself into a tiny box, stop applying for specialist jobs and start pursuing a life and career that works for you.
So what are you going to do going forward?
Embrace being different.
And use those gifts to find roles that allow you to spread your wings and fly (allow for a variety of your skills and talents to be utilized), rather than restrict you to specializing in one field.
That’s it! It’s simple once we step outside of the idea that we have to do exactly what society says and stop believing that niching down, choosing (don’t you hate that word?), and limiting ourselves is the only way to excel in life.
Are you ready to fly?
It can be overwhelming when you think about leaving the comfort of your specialist role, even when you dream about having something else to do that allows you to flex your creative generalist abilities instead of boring your brains out every day.
This is where I come in! Together we can figure out your creative generalist skills and sweet spot, the fields you’re interested in working in, and how to use those skills to land your dream job!
Shift Shock and How to Avoid It
Have you ever had this experience: you work so hard to get a new job, maybe even shift careers, and then the minute you’re in your new role, you regret it so completely that you want to run away? Or throw up right where you are… Whatever you feel, it’s so intense that you are left in this catatonic state.
Well, that’s “shift shock.”
According to this article by The Muse, 72% of workers have experienced shift shock. Part of the issue is that we have built up this idea that the grass is greener on the other side of this role or career, and then we feel either a wee bit let down once we get there, or overwhelmed by the unfamiliarity of it.
There is a lot to be said about the comfort of our old roles. While we may have not enjoyed them so much and there was a reason we wanted to switch careers, we were comfortable in them - both the everyday tasks and the complaining about how we wanted more or something different. Then suddenly you have the role you wanted and everything is new. We don’t know what tasks to get done first, how to navigate the new social scenarios, and what kind of clothes to wear to work every day (especially true if you work from home).
The darker side of shift shock is when you start a new job and realize your employers have lied about, or didn’t explain, the expectations they have for your role, which leads you to accept the position under the wrong precepts. This is even harder when you are switching to a remote role where conveying expectations is entirely dependent on an interviewer who is not used to the virtual reality you’re entering into. Company culture is also difficult to discern prior to starting when the role is completely online, making shift shock even more apparent and uncomfortable.
So now that we know what shift shock is - and how common it is - the question becomes, how the heck do we avoid it?
State your expectations. When you go for your interview, or start your first day, it is important that you are very clear about your expectations of this role. That means you lay out the exact responsibilities you believe you will have, what your working hours will be like, and describe your work-from-home policy (yes, that’s right, you’re allowed to define how you want to work!) to the interviewer/onboarder so that they can clarify if it fits with theirs. If everyone is starting on the same page, there will be less shift shock.
Ask about employee retention. A lot of what creates a great company culture is how the company tries to retain its employees. What do they do that helps their employees? How do they build trust with their employees? Ask those questions and make sure you like the answers. If you don’t, it’s probably going to be harder to adjust to the role.
Meet other employees on LinkedIn. Whether you’re in the interview process or it's your first week, getting information from fellow employees is incredibly important. Networking and reaching out to them on LinkedIn is one way to learn about the company culture and what the company expects of them. If you find out that you are salaried for a 40-hour week, but they expect you to work before and after work, and on the weekends, without overtime, and that doesn’t align with what you want out of the role (or with how life should be), you can jump ship right there.
Don’t be afraid to leave. If you find out that the company misled you about their expectations, it’s okay to leave. While you might have left your prior job, you can still create an exit strategy for this one. I know we are all used to the notion that we must keep a job for at least a year to make our resumes look better, but the reality is, having good mental health is more important.
Moreover, if you think the shift shock is simply a byproduct of your own expectations not being met, but you know in your gut it will get better as soon as you're comfortable, then just work on getting comfortable. The steps above will still be beneficial - especially if you are trying to meet your co-workers and get to know them.
Remember, it’s totally normal to feel shift shock. You’ve just campaigned your way out of something you’re familiar with for something new. It’s like being a kindergartner on their first day. You’ve heard so much about this cool place called school and all the things you will experience. You’re excited and ready to start, but then on the first day, you cry at the classroom door because it’s all so overwhelming. Within two weeks, you’re feeling better and love your teacher and classmates.
Give it some time, but then again, don’t be afraid to switch again if you really know in your heart of hearts you’re not where you want to be. Because you know what, you’re allowed to do that.
Worried about shift shock?
The idea of shift shock can be intimidating - probably more intimidating than actually shifting roles is to you. But not only is it a completely normal feeling, there are things you can do to avoid it.
I help my clients identify the roles they would like to try out to build the lives they want. Part of this is getting clear on the type of company they want to work for. When they enter the interviewing stage, we walk through all the questions they should ask so that they can avoid shift shock when they get the role. If you’re ready to start, I can help!
I’ve outgrown my career. What should I do next?
Most high-achieving (and creative) employees end up outgrowing their jobs and careers rather quickly. Part of the problem is that we pick up tasks easily and once we find ourselves bored with the work, it can be hard to motivate ourselves to stick with it. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When you outgrow your work, it just means it’s time for something new.
Think about it! When you were little, you wanted to do so many different things with your life. At one point, I wanted to be a sea witch, a librarian, and an astronaut all at once. I dreamt of wearing a voluminous black dress, with giant black rimmed glasses, holding a copy of a Tale of Two Cities, while floating in the International Space Station’s anti-gravity. If you ask any five-year old, they don’t think of one job they want to do forever. They come up with six or seven and those six or seven change from day to day - sometimes minute to minute.
We only think we want one career for our entire lives because that’s what society tells us. You go to school for a dozen years, get pressured into picking a major in college for a life you kind-of-sort-of want, and then come out of college and immediately start climbing a corporate ladder. At some point, you get so bored with it all that you start thinking about what life would look like if you’d made different choices - or perhaps if you had actually *made* a choice..
Many people will live their entire lives wondering what if, but I’m willing to wager that if you’re here reading this blog, you might be ready to make the shift. And you can and are allowed to make the shift. It’s okay to have two - or even ten - different careers in your lifetime. According to this article, the average person has twelve different jobs and almost 30% of people have changed their careers post college.
Now that you know you can make a career transition, you’re probably wondering how. (It always comes down to “how” doesn’t it?) Here’s how:
Why? Start by thinking about why you want to change your current career. Maybe you aren’t being challenged enough. Or maybe the industry is dying out. Whatever your feelings are, they’re valid. My first career was in the web industry, and while that is not a dying industry by any means, I felt like I was choking on the corporate ladder. I came out of college and climbed and climbed, never letting myself think about what I actually wanted and why I wanted it. When I finally sat down and asked myself why I wanted to transition, the answer was simple: I wanted to be happier. I wanted to live my life on my rules and my terms and no longer worry about what everyone else wanted for me.
What other careers are you interested in? Think about what your end goal is. If you were to change careers, how would you achieve that end goal? If you don’t change your career now, will 80 year-old-you have regrets about your choices? Once you’ve thought this through, write down the steps you think you will need to accomplish to make future you proud. When I was trying to figure out how to transition from my web agency into my coaching career, I was so scared to take the first step, but I knew if I didn’t shake things up, I would forever regret it.
When can you make the change? Career transitions usually don’t happen overnight. Especially if you value the company you work for. A good thing to think about is when you can transition out of your role and into your new career. What life events, or career events, will inhibit that change? How can you address those so they don’t affect you?
How can your current skills help you in the career you want? Your ability to get a job, or start a business, in a new industry or role, will rely a lot on your past experience and current knowledge base. Figuring out how to use those skills, whether they are hard or soft skills, in a new arena is half the battle to convince your mind that this transition is possible. For instance, if you are a trained cosmetologist who would like to move into remote bookkeeping for hair salons, you can use your knowledge of how hair salons work to help them manage their finances. If you aren’t super secure in your bookkeeping abilities, you can always take a short certification course to get up to speed and support your resume.
Start networking. Networking is a great way to connect with people in the industry or roles you are hoping to transition into. They can offer advice and guidance to help you move along that new path more easily. Also, they might know of job openings and be able to vouch for your abilities when you apply. A lot of the people I first met when I transitioned to coaching had made similar changes earlier in their lives. Some of them have even become my mentors and helped me feel empowered by my transition.
It can be super scary to transition careers, but the reality is, if your gut is telling you it’s time, it’s definitely time. Think about what your future self would be proud of you for doing, how this transition will positively impact their life, and then go for it! And if you need a little help, book one of my free 30-minute chats. You never know what we might come up with!
Scared to change your career?
Changing careers can be a scary prospect, but it can also be an empowering one. You are making the choice to leave behind what you are comfortable doing, for a career that is more challenging and fulfilling.
I help my clients discover their passions and find work that aligns with those passions. Together we will discover what it is you really want to be doing with this next part of your life and how to achieve those goals in a sustainable way. If you're ready to change your career, I can help you get there!
The Four Agreements and How They Can Help You Succeed In Business
Each morning, I recite the Four Agreements (old Toltec Wisdom):
Be impeccable with your words.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Now, I wish I had come up with these incredibly simple - but powerful - agreements, but I did not. Don Miguel Ruiz published The Four Agreements in 1997. Growing up in rural Mexico, Don Miguel was the son of a Toltec faith healer, and the grandson of a Toltec shaman - or nagual. Despite growing up in such a faith based culture, he went on to practice neurosurgery in Tijuana until he was involved in a near-fatal car crash. He left medicine and began to study life and humanity through the lens of the Toltec teachings.
According to The Four Agreements, when we are born, we learn all the rules and values our family and society have. They impose these rules and values onto us through a punishment and reward system - like how we train animals, for example dogs. Where our true nature is to love and explore life, we learn what others think we should be and are forced to change. If we do the “right” thing, we are rewarded. If we do the “wrong” thing, we are punished.
Over the course of our lifetimes, we are domesticated into who society and our family think we should be and we lose that ability to be truly happy.
In the years since first reading this book, I’ve started each day reciting The Four Agreements to remind myself of who I am - the real me. And to practice strong tools to stand in the world in an authentic and anchored way. While this has helped me in my personal life tremendously, it has also helped me in my professional life.
When we strive to be our authentic self in business, we are better capable of building businesses and having careers that fulfill us and the people around us. By practicing The Four Agreements in my business, I’ve been able to alter the way I do business. Instead of focusing on the outcome of my sales efforts, I focus on the outcome of my words and thoughts, and how they affect my clients in a positive way, which ends up affecting my sales.
1. Be impeccable with your words.
This first agreement is probably the hardest to do, but to complete the other agreements, you have to start with this one. It is the foundation of the four agreements. Your words are a reflection of who you are. If you speak rudely, if you cut people with your words, or don’t follow through with your promises, how will anyone be able to trust what you say? Clients, employees, and consultants will retreat from working with you.
If you say you’re going to do something, you better do it - even if it costs you. Prove your worth by proving your integrity.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
When you’re impeccable with your words, you don’t have to take anything personally. If you have a client, business partner, or family member that’s working against you, you might feel like giving up. But if you know that when you say something you’re going to do it, even if it costs you, and you don’t take what they’re saying personally, nothing can stop you from achieving what you dream of. People who don’t know they’ve been domesticated don’t know that their actions are a result of the rules and values placed on them. But you do know. You can see through those rules and values and identify what you want out of life.
You know the rules and values that govern you. Don’t let the words and actions of others take away from that.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
I don’t know about you, but this one is really hard - especially when you’re neurodivergent like me and don’t necessarily interpret situations correctly. It can be especially hard not to make assumptions when you’re close to that person - but those are the moments it’s even more important not to.
If someone in your life acts a certain way, take it for what it is. Don’t read into it. If your contract client asks for a rewrite of their social media posts, don’t assume you did it wrong. Maybe they just wanted it to reflect something that just happened. When someone has to cancel an important call with you, don’t assume they are trying to get out of it to be malicious.
Making assumptions about a certain situation generally just leads to further assumptions. Be assertive. Be impeccable with your words and ask the person outright what they mean if you need clarification (something neurodivergents often do).
4. Always do your best.
If you’re impeccable with your words, don’t take anything personally, and don’t make assumptions, you will be doing your best. As long as you’re always striving to do your best, you can’t fault yourself for where you land. If you’ve been working hard to launch a new business and it doesn’t take off on day one, you still did your best and that’s more important than the outcome of that day.
So how does this really relate to business? Business is all about making connections and promises. You’re trying to get someone to buy something from you, to work with you, to trust you and to enter into a relationship with you - coaching, courses, nail polish, etc. They have to trust you to buy something. For instance, let’s say you sell contract templates for small businesses. When you’re advertising your offering, your words better reflect exactly what you’re promising. The templates have to be useful for people in specific states or countries, or the customer will accuse you of lying. If someone buys your template package and there’s a problem, you have to show up and help, even if it costs you profits. It will save you money in the long run because your reputation will be intact.
Additionally, these four agreements will help you navigate your business, professional life, and personal life more easily. When you show up as someone who follows those principles, it will show. People will see it and your integrity and the quality of your work will have them come back for more.
Are you afraid to unlearn the rules?
Realizing that we are under a “spell” - as Don Miguel puts it - is the first step to realigning ourselves. But it can be hard to understand that while our parents and society want the best for us, the way they want us to get there isn’t the path we should be on.
I help my clients rationalize these polar opposite views, identifying what they actually want to be doing with their lives and what success looks like for them. Then we work together to uncover - and break - the rules and values placed upon them. You can achieve whatever you want out of life, no matter what your family and society has told you is acceptable. I can help you get there!