Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
10 Alternatives to Feeling Guilt and Shame on Zero-Progress Days
It's a zero-progress day. There's a ton on your plate, your to-do list is screaming at you, but you have no inspiration and even less motivation to do anything. You're procrastinating, you didn't get anything done, and now you feel guilty and ashamed for it.
We all have unproductive days from time to time, but feeling guilt or shame about them only makes the problem worse. In this article, we'll discuss why doing nothing can be productive and ten alternatives to feeling bad about your lack of progress so that you can make the most out of your downtime!
When we get nothing done, we can feel guilty and shameful for doing nothing.
We all know that unproductive days are inevitable - you can't be at your best all the time, but the worst thing you can do on those days is beat yourself up. Especially as creatives and entrepreneurs, who always have so much going on in our businesses or lives, we can feel the pressure when it looks like we’re “losing” time.
As long as it's not a daily habit that keeps you stuck, doing nothing regularly is an essential part of being productive in a balanced way. You can't be 'on' all the time, and if you try to be, you're only setting yourself up for burnout.
So what should you do on those zero-progress days? Here are ten alternatives to feeling bad about your lack of progress:
Give yourself a break: One of the best things you can do on an unproductive day is give yourself a break. Relax, watch some TV, read a book, or take a nap - anything to get your mind off work.
Make a list of what you did: Rather than feeling guilty and ashamed about not getting anything done, make a list of everything you did manage to do. The list can include taking a walk, reading an article, or even checking your email.
Set some simple goals for tomorrow: If you're struggling to get started on anything, it might help set some simple goals for tomorrow. Plans don't need to be lofty or complicated; they can be as simple as "take a shower" or "make breakfast."
Do some easy tasks: Unproductive days can be frustrating because we feel like we're not accomplishing anything. To combat this, try to do some easy tasks to check off your list quickly. Doing this will help you feel more productive and motivated.
Unplug from technology: Although it may seem counterintuitive, one of the best things you can do on an unproductive day is disconnect from all forms of technology. This includes your phone, computer, television, and any other devices you use daily.
Get organised: One of the best ways to combat unproductive days is to get organised. Spend an hour or two organising your workspace, your to-do list, or your schedule. Doing this will help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed, and it's something many of us do when we procrastinate anyway :)
Learn something new: Take some time to learn something new. Read an article, listen to a podcast, or watch a tutorial. Learning something new can help jump-start your brain and give you some new ideas.
Connect with someone: When we're feeling unproductive, we can feel isolated and alone. Take some time to reach out to a friend, family member, or colleague. Check in on them, have a conversation, or exchange some funny memes.
Exercise: Exercise is a great way to jump-start your day and get your energy up. If you're not in the mood to work out, try going for a walk or doing some yoga.
Take a break from work: Finally, if all else fails, take a break from work. Sometimes it's just not possible to get anything done, and that's okay. Tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities.
Unproductive days are inevitable, but that doesn't mean you have to spend the whole day feeling guilty. There are plenty of things you can do to make the most out of your downtime. So next time you find yourself with an unproductive day, try one of these ten alternatives and see how you feel.
Are you feeling lost and stuck about your next steps?
Private coaching is a unique opportunity to work one-on-one with me to help you clarify your goals, develop a plan of action, and stay accountable. You'll get the support you need to move forward in your career or business.
Imagine what it would feel like to finally have clarity and direction in your life. With private coaching, you can make this dream a reality.
Smart work habits for creatives and entrepreneurs
There’s a difference between doing things mindlessly and doing things consciously. Have you ever gone grocery shopping and realized once you got home that you bought *some* (ahem, a lot) of unhealthy options? And that you forgot the apples?!
This is only a small example of how we operate on autopilot most of the time. Now what does that look like for a multi-passionate creative trying to get work done?
Habits and Productivity
With a multi-passionate, creative mind like yours I know you struggle with focusing – I’ve been there. You let distractions get the better of you, you tend to be indecisive about the fourteenth great idea you have, and you just feel like you’re too busy all the time! (Spoiler, you’re not truly being productive, you just look like you are…). So, how can you finally get to work so you can achieve all the things you want?
Awareness is the idea that you’re mindful of your internal and external surroundings. We practice being aware through specific mindsets or behaviours, for example in the form of a new daily habit or ritual. This adds a layer of meaning and purpose to what you’re doing. What’s a ritual, or formal process (or ceremony) you can start tomorrow that’s small? This could be as simple as a five minute routine in the morning, an act of self-care, something you do when preparing a meal, journaling… The idea is to find something small that can help you shift into action.
Too many ideas? Journal them.
Don’t know how to start a business as a multi-passionate ambitious creative? Speak with a coach.
Feeling overwhelmed with your to-do list? Take a course on working smarter and not harder.
Trust me, I know because not only was I there (not knowing who I was and what my personal dreams were), but those are the exact clients I serve today (feel free to sign up for a free consult – no pressure!).
What will help you do things differently from now on?
Creating new, automatic actions that help you achieve your goals. I like to call them rituals, but you can call them something else. They can help shape or shift you, changing you on a deeper level.
Daily rituals act like small but important ceremonies, where you’re consciously allowing things to take place rather than being overwhelmed, distracted or careless. That’s why they’re such an important part of the Smart Work™ that I teach. Adjusting your daily habits is something you can do with anything in your life – regardless of how big or small, whether it’s moving more slowly, eating nutritiously, or making decisions that will impact where your career takes you. But most importantly with purpose rather than just rushing it because everyone else is doing it. A ritual is personal and should fit you like a glove.
Smart Work is also a free challenge I developed about these very issues my clients face over and over. It’s about more than just knowing what to do to achieve your goals, but embodying it so you don’t give up if it doesn’t go perfectly the first time.
By inviting intentional rituals into your life you rewire your entire system.
You’re addressing those habits that might get in your way, whether it’s distraction, fear, feeling like you’re not enough, or you might not deserve it. The stagnant and exhausted parts of your life need a breath of fresh air.
Habits and rituals are important because they add your senses to your day-to-day life, so you’re not just centring life on what you produce. Life is not meant to be tedious work. If you’ve been busy this whole time and you still feel like the finish line keeps being pushed back it’s time for a different approach.
Knowing what the first step is – what helps align with who you want to be and how you want to feel – is important.
You can’t create something new when there’s no space for it.
What is currently serving you? What isn’t serving you? Is stress and overwhelm a common denominator at every turn? Let’s focus on 6 specific habits around smart work.
Smart work habits for creatives and entrepreneurs
Banish Distractions: address distractions holding you back. Overwhelmed? What’s causing it? How do you stop them? Why are you doing what you’re doing and why *that* specific goal? What’s the relationship you have with yourself, and how can you get time to work for you and not against you?
Build Healthy Boundaries: what are safe and reasonable ways for how you expect yourself and others to behave? What do you require to understand your own needs, priorities – mentally and emotionally? How do you communicate? Do you know how to say “no”? Saying “no” and letting go of guilt, negative self-talk and boosting the positive chemicals in your brain are vital to be smart about your time!
Embrace Simplicity: let’s declutter (music to Marie Kondo’s ears!). Not just physical things, but digital, personal and emotional. If you want to be truly productive then you must be willing to move from chaos to calm and easy systems, (eliminate, automate and delegate), to let go and create space for things that truly matter. Are you still holding onto too much baggage? Then you’ll keep paying for the extra fee.
Find Balance: we hear this as “work-life balance,” but it’s more than that because you’re not just the work you produce, you’re so much more! Finding balance means getting focused, intentional and not running on autopilot. What does true success mean to you and not other people? Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? That constant feeling of inadequacy around what you can and can’t achieve? What if those thoughts were learned and inherited from other people? How can you truly find balance as a woman in today’s society?
Create Daily Rituals: working smarter and not harder requires attention and intention – you need to focus on your inner voice. What nourishes you, your habits, and your self-awareness and daily routines? What is the anatomy of an effective goal? Have your lessons in life been practical or short-lived? Do you still feel overwhelmed by chaos, or are you ready to turn new habits into inspiring and life-changing daily rituals?
Master Smart Work: There’s only so much growth you can do on your own, even for an overachieving perfectionist (hello there!). The truth is you must create a deep sense of awareness within yourself. How do you remain present? Accept the highs and lows? Transform the old into the new? How do you keep self-sabotage in check? You’re on a journey to uncover your unique recipe to success and that requires transforming your internal programming in the final step towards smart work.
How do you want to grow as a creative or entrepreneur? Ditch the old, and embrace the new (and not in a cheesy, new year’s resolutions again, kind of way).
By addressing these key ingredients to Smart Work™ you might be closer to your dreams than you’ve ever been before.
So what’s next for you? As we close off the past, I encourage you to slow down and realize that you’ve accomplished so much and only the best is yet to come.
5 skills (you can start with today) to work less and achieve more
Among the many ways that can help to work less and achieve more, there are 5 skills that I live by.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s so much information out there! Courses, blogs and advice that offer great value, but what will truly make a difference? Which resources are helpful for you, and what *you* want to achieve today?
I might not have the perfect answer, (which doesn’t exist anyway) but I do have the experience as a professional coach and Smart Work™ Expert to share that my clients come to me feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and leave feeling less distracted, more calm and more productive.
The recurring theme, distilled from more than a thousand coaching hours, is that time management, productivity, and the confidence to achieve a level of success that seems unreachable, are at the heart of working effectively.
Working less but achieving more means just that: achieving a state where you’re not scattering your energy anywhere and everywhere, all the time.
It’s about knowing and differentiating between what should receive your energy and attention and what needs to be discarded or stopped. Before you can do that, you must develop a higher level of self-awareness.
5 Skills to Work Less And Achieve More
#1 Seek Clarity
Being crystal clear with yourself requires a level of honesty and transparency that can be challenging. Defense mechanisms can get in the way. “I wasn’t late, the bus was,” or “I can’t invest in my own goals, things are just too busy.”
Be honest with why you want to grow, and if you’re willing to give up outdated habits, and beliefs. Replace them with a crystal clear vision of who you want to be, and what you want to achieve. Ask yourself: why do you want to achieve this, and are you ready to commit to change?
#2 Prioritize
Precise arrival at the right time is quite a different feeling than running late, packing frantically, sweating in the Uber ride and being the last one at the meeting. This might be the feeling you carry with you along every task you undertake. The frantic overwhelm and anxiety. It’s the result of miscommunicating your priorities to yourself. Wanting to get too much done affects this, as does focusing on the wrong things and mistaking them for the right ones.
Track what you’re doing: sleeping and eating habits, people who drain and fuel you, where you’re losing your time – social media? Binge-watching shows? Shopping online? Prioritize the things that are important to your future self and not just the person you are right now. Ask yourself: are you willing to sacrifice short-term gratification for long-term success?
#3 Manage Yourself
Life has peaks and valleys, and you cannot control every external happening. However, you can manage your inner state. Your reactions, emotions, and attitude to what happens day-to-day.
If you have a difficult time with patience, you might be draining yourself of mental energy because you spend more time stressed out than choosing calm as a response (did you know you have that option?!). Ask yourself: are you willing to admit your growth areas, start on a new plan for addressing them, and how to overcome them?
#4 Boundaries
There’s no such thing as #SoulfulProductivity without a focus on boundaries. When was the last time you said “no” confidently? As women we tend to be “yes” people because we’re nurturing and accommodating.
But where do you draw the line? How do you prioritize if you feel you *must* say yes all the time? Ask yourself: are you ready to say “no” and not feel guilty? Are you ready to put yourself first.
#5 Less stuff
Being able to do less and achieve more, means reassessing the mental, emotional, physical and digital landscape that is your life. The ways and spaces you interact with on the day to day. Materialism is making us sick, social media is affecting our mental health, and our sleep. The psychological benefits of tidying up are proving to be great (thank you Marie Kondo!), so take a good look around you.
Start with decluttering where it makes sense to begin. Take a digital detox, Marie Kondo your home, or clean up your computer. Making space actually promotes new energy, less distraction, and stress from the important tasks you do want to accomplish.
When you have a laundry list of to-dos, life or work gets overwhelming.
Trust me I was there, and I did a lot of trial and error to find tools, tips and tricks that actually work to get you off the hamster wheel of productivity! I left the corporate world to pursue a more soulfully productive way of living. I even teach about it here. I followed my true voice because it grew too loud, too frustrated and – honestly – too exhausted.
The truth is: you have to clear time to make time! If you want to prioritize yourself AND improve your well-being, you *must* create space so you can invest in yourself.
The 5 skills you must practice to work less and achieve more is not a quick fix, nor is it a gimmick. It’s also not an easy road – at first. Once you’ve mastered those 5 though, you’ll get more focused time to tackle some of life’s bigger challenges that are getting in the way of being soulfully productive.
Once you have mastered those 5 skills, everything else will flow naturally and easily into place.
Until then, practice them as often as you can. Start small, start today, and let me know how it goes!
The tyranny of inherited dreams and how to get free from them
We’re all dreamers. Every single one of us. We have hopes, and wishes for ourselves, our loved ones and the future. Ask any person what they’d like to own or be and you’ll hear whispers of desire, stories of how things should be or could have been.
As a mentor to the unconventional I know a thing or two about dreams. I dive deep with my clients every day to help them figure out what they really want, and how to get it. Together we define a new path for their dream career or business.
Women come to me when they’re at a crossroad in their lives. They’ve been feeling that something’s off – sometimes for a really long time – and can’t ignore it any more.
They’re stuck in unfulfilling careers.
They’re tired of the endless and exhausting cycle of overwork and perfection.
They’re torn between their personal ambitions and the needs of others.
They yearn to grasp why – while doing everything right – they still aren’t happy.
They wonder what happened to them, and how they got where they are.
They’re weary of the guilt and shame for wanting what they want.
They’re tired of their self-doubt and lack of self-confidence.
They’re afraid of never being who they know they’re supposed to be.
They lack a sense of meaning, purpose, and direction in their life.
When I started working with these women I noticed something else about them.
They have many talents and passions.
They’re creative.
Hard-working.
Wholehearted.
Compassionate.
Ambitious.
Not afraid to get their hands dirty.
Smart.
Insatiable for knowledge.
And quick learners.
With all these amazing qualities, why is it so hard for them to figure out what they really want?
It’s the tyranny of inherited dreams.
Inherited dreams are the dreams we pursue but that we didn’t choose for ourselves. They’re a product of the world we’re born into. A mix of social expectations, false (limiting) beliefs about ourselves and the world, pressure to conform, and unwritten rules we believe we have to live by, passed down to us in childhood.
More often than not, we’re not aware those dreams aren’t really our own. But whether we know it or not, it’s incredibly hard to resist them. If we give in to them entirely (which, really, we’re all doing when we’re not asking questions), we turn into docile, sleepwalking robots producing what the system needs us to in order to sustain itself. While the system gets every need met, we estrange from our true nature, or deepest desires, and our authentic dreams.
I was a robot like that, from the day I started working as a freelancer to the day my parents passed away, almost two decades later.
I wanted to be successful. Dressed in the nicest clothes, wearing expensive watches, carrying luxury bags, traveling the world, making tons of money. As a result I worked relentlessly – burned myself out – for years, trying to build the career I thought I needed to achieve that dream. I never got there…
I wanted to be beautiful. Thin, youthful, tanned, smiling, hair and nails perfectly done, always put together. As a result I was on a diet from the age of 15, exercised excessively for the bigger part of my life. In the end I was never satisfied with my body or how I looked.
I wanted to be liked. Catering to everyone’s needs, always aiming for perfection, as pleasing as I could be. As a result I was a push-over, had no boundaries, attracted the wrong partners, stayed in toxic relationships for years, had draining friendships, didn’t take care of myself, and was never really me.
Don’t misunderstand me. Wanting to be successful, beautiful or liked is all part of the bigger needs we have as humans: to be loved, to be fulfilled, to have purpose.
Love, fulfilment, purpose are NOT inherited dreams. They are our soulful connection to ourselves, and each other. They are our life breath. Without them we can never be truly happy.
What I mean by inherited dreams are the things we think we want in order to be loved, fulfilled, purposeful.
The culture we live in has made us belief that we can only achieve those things by being a certain way. Moreover, society also tells us that to be a certain way we need to have a specific and narrow set of material things and qualities.
Success means money, status, power and all the “perks” that go with it. The clothes, the travels, the sandy beaches, the private jets. It also means being ready to do “everything it takes”, the glorification of busy, the relentless pursuit of productivity.
Beauty means youth, thinness, whiteness. It also means being ready to starve yourself, to exercise beyond injury, to accept the dangers of surgery, and to reject and see as less than anything that doesn’t meet the beauty standard.
Likability means politeness, not speaking too loud, being a good girl, and saying “yes”. It also means accepting others crossing your boundaries, putting yourself last on your list, bottling up your emotions, and not being your true self.
The issue with inherited dreams is that we don’t know they’re someone else’s. We’re so used to seeing others chase them that we believe we want to chase them too. No wonder we are. They’re EVERYWHERE. We read about them online or in magazines, we see them in movies, our friends have them…
I believe it is our right, as well as our responsibility, to look within ourselves. To examine, question and identify what we stand for so that we can live fulfilling, happy, courageous lives and pursue our own dreams.
The thing about inherited dreams is that they’re a construct. Just like all the rules that exist in the world, we – as a society – created them. Historical events, beliefs about the world, value systems upheld and shared by those in power all contributed to the inherited dreams we have today. But it wasn’t always this way, and it doesn’t need to be.
There’s something else buried deep beneath our inherited dreams.
Our truest, most authentic dreams. Our secret dreams.
Just like inherited dreams, I believe we all have secret dreams. The problem is that most of us have lost the map to find them in the pile of maps that lead us to other people’s dreams, a.k.a. nowhere.
To me, finding your way back to your secret dreams means dreaming bigger.
Dream Alchemy is a process of unraveling, imagination, and transformation. It’s not about having bigger or better versions of our inherited dreams. It’s about dismantling them. About admitting our most authentic, truest dreams to ourselves. About coming home to who we are.
Today I define success in terms of sustainability, self-care, and overall well-being both in my life and in my business. I define beauty through art, wonder, and curiosity. Inviting all that is unknown to me in, fighting for equality and justice. I define likability by how much of my true self I’m able to bring into my relationships, how much love I have to go through authenticity and respect for myself and others.
Does this mean I make no money any more or that I stopped shopping for clothes? No. What it means is that I now have a business that feels right to me, Smart Work™ systems that don’t exhaust me, marketing practices that are aligned with my values. I also still have a closet full of clothes. But I don’t need them to be happy.
My invitation to you is to question your dreams.
Ask yourself what really matters to you. Wonder about what you’d do if you knew you were loved unconditionally. Define what purpose means to you. Figure out what you really want. Question the rules you live by. Ask yourself where all those beliefs come from…
In other words: I want you to transform reality to finally fit your dreams.
Because yes, you have permission to dream differently – to dream YOU.