How to Think Yourself Into a Brand New and Magnificent Life

Sometimes, when life is going just right, the only thing we do is wait for it to go wrong. We anticipate and wait for that so-called other shoe to drop. Right now, so many great things are happening in my life and at work, and the fruits of seeds I planted many months or years ago are finally coming out. This reminded me of how accustomed we are to expecting bad things - not good ones - to happen; at least, I know I used to be like that. And honestly, sometimes I still am.

Just last week, with everything feeling right - the sun shining, my new start-up off to a great start, friends and family all in reasonably good health and happy - there it was: the undeniable and oh-so-familiar feeling of doom looming. Something had to go wrong! Everything was going too well, and I was simply feeling too good!

Feeling like doom is coming has been my experience for the biggest part of my life. I know it's the same for many of my clients. Before starting my journey of transformation and anxiety-free living, I was so used to it that even when things were going well, my brain would actively search for something to be worried or unhappy about.

But here's the thing: life is not meant to be lived in fear and worry. We are not meant to expect the worst constantly.

We're meant to live in joy and abundance, regardless of our circumstances. It took me a long time to truly understand this. Still, I'm now at a place where I can confidently say that we have the power to choose how we experience life and that we are manifesting our existence and everything in it every moment of every day.

We may not be able to control what happens around us, but we can control how we react. Even more so, we have a say in what we attract into our lives and how we shape our reality. I shared a lot about this in my book "Get Unstuck!" because it's so important: our thoughts create our reality.

Think about it for a minute.

People who don't have the negative thoughts you or I have don't have the fears either! Can you imagine?

I heard a lawyer share his story recently. When asked how he chose law as his field, he shared how he had always loved conflict. It felt like a game to him, how good he was at it, and how when someone disagreed with him, he enjoyed going into the conversation to get them to see he was right. As someone who has always dreaded conflict, I lost my breath there for a second. I NEVER imagined anyone could enjoy conflict, let alone be good at it. But when I thought about it a bit more, I realized that - of course - to be a good lawyer, not being afraid of conflict is sort of an asset :)

Again, it's all about our thoughts. So, I imagined what my life would be like if I didn't have any negative thoughts about conflict but looked at it from the perspective of a conflict-loving lawyer.

And, you know what, it changes EVERYTHING!

It was a profound moment of realization for me. Of course, I already knew that changing my thoughts changed my life, but this thing called growth is like an onion. It keeps on giving! When you think you've reached the last layer, it turns out there's another one underneath. So, I continue peeling my onion every day - in a positive way, of course!

I've also learned that the power of our thoughts affects our lives and radiates outward to those around us. Have you ever noticed how being around someone who is constantly negative and complaining can bring your mood down? On the other hand, being around someone positive and uplifting can instantly boost your energy and mindset.

So why not choose to be that person? Why not channel the thoughts of the person you want to be in this world? Changing your thoughts can transform your experiences profoundly.

Fear, doubt, and self-limiting beliefs are the number one blocks for many creatives and entrepreneurs. But what if we approached challenges with curiosity and excitement instead, just like lawyers approach conflict? What if we could see difficulties not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities for growth and learning?

What if, when everything is going well, we invite more good vibes into our lives and believe even better things are coming rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop?

For me, this shift in mindset was empowering. It felt like a door opening to a world where I had control over my life. I began to see that my thoughts were like seeds - when I planted positive, empowering beliefs, they blossomed into actions aligned with my goals and dreams. My current life is a testament to this. When I realized how powerful my thoughts were, I started to manifest a reality where fear didn’t dictate my decisions, and possibilities were endless.

You possess this power, too. It's within each of us to reshape our thoughts and, consequently, our lives. By consciously choosing to cultivate thoughts that are good for you and not entertaining the ones that are keeping you small, anxious, or fearful, you can unlock your true potential and create a life that not only meets but exceeds your wildest dreams.

Imagine the freedom and joy of a life unburdened by unnecessary fears and doubts. Imagine being like that lawyer. You have the power to make this your reality.

Here are five tips to help you shift your mindset toward one that is empowering and limitless:

1. Challenge your negative thoughts. The first and most crucial part of changing your negative thinking patterns is noticing and challenging your negative thoughts. When a negative thought pops into your mind, ask yourself if it is based on fact or fear. In 99% of the cases, it will be, so consciously choose to replace it with a more positive and empowering belief.
   An example from my little mantra flashcards (see point two below) is the recurring belief that I held for the longest part of my life (which caused me to choose horrible partners to be with) that I must work to deserve attention or love. I have successfully changed that belief, and it has transformed my life. On my mantra cards (which I still read at least three times a day while listening to a manifestation playlist from Spotify), it says about this belief:
   "I deserve attention and love just because I am. I am enough just as I am. I don't need to work for attention or love. Love is not equal to work. I am lovable just as I am. I don't need to do anything to deserve love."  Repeating these mantras every day for years now has totally changed what I believe about myself and how lovable I am.

2. Create mantra flashcards and read them multiple times every day.  Mantra flashcards are small notes you write to yourself with positive affirmations and empowering beliefs. These could be simple phrases like "I am enough," "I am worthy," or "I am capable." You can add personal mantras that speak to your specific fears or doubts. The key is to read these cards multiple times a day, especially when you're in a negative headspace. This will help to reprogram your subconscious mind and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.
   I have cards for all aspects of my life and thoughts I want to change: my life, my relationships, my work, my goals... I take them with me everywhere and truly enjoy reading them; it's like a tiny meditation multiple times a day that reminds me who I really am and where I'm going. Powerful stuff!

3. Surround yourself with positivity. This can include the people you spend time with, the media you consume, and even your living space. Make an effort to surround yourself with positive and uplifting people who support and encourage you. Follow social media accounts that promote self-love and acceptance, and unfollow those that make you feel like crap. Surround yourself with items that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, whether it's a favorite quote or a piece of art that speaks to your soul.
   By creating a positive environment and having an eye for what I find beautiful and aesthetically pleasing, I am now constantly reminded of my worth and value as a person and the great way I know I can show up for myself and care for my well-being. I surround myself with the life I want to live. And you know what? That's how I create it!

4. Practice gratitude daily. Take a few moments each day (early morning and late night for me) to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can help shift your focus from lack and negativity to abundance and positivity. Repeated daily, it will change your mindset!
   Make sure these are not just little trivial things (although they can be); add in the real stuff too, like, in my case, "I'm grateful that my friend Lena, who is a badass feminist, teaches me how to be a badass woman myself" or "I'm so grateful for the freedom I created for myself to be able to work from anywhere" or "I'm so grateful for that new pink bikini that fits me so well." Yes, I hear you. What if there's nothing for which to be grateful? Well, sorry to break it to you, but that's just a load of BS. There is always, ALWAYS, something to be thankful for. You should write it down even more diligently if you find it hard to find.

5. Visualize your desired outcome. It's essential to bring as many of your dreams and desires into your life now, even if not everything has manifested yet.
   I take time every day to visualize myself living the life of my dreams. It's such an enjoyable experience, and it almost feels real. I go into a lot of details about where I am, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, who I'm with, and even what I'm wearing. This practice helps me stay focused on my goals and motivates me to take action toward making them a reality. It's like creating a roadmap for your life; the best part is that you have complete control over it.

Bonus tip: REMEMBER TO TAKE ACTION! Ultimately, it's all well and good to bathe in the feel-good hormones from imagining your dream life, but you must take action to create a mindset that empowers you and a life that fills you with joy and gratitude. Eventually, you have to go out and do something to materialize it!

Shifting your mindset takes time and effort, but the results are well worth it. Your life will be completely transformed, and you will experience things beyond your wildest dreams. Trust me, it works!

Feeling stuck in your current situation?

You're not alone. Many professionals have the same feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt.

Imagine waking up every day excited about your future, no longer paralyzed by fear or self-sabotaging thoughts. It's time to break free and start living the life you've always dreamed of.

Schedule your free session!

The power of unlimited thinking

I love the word unlimited. It speaks to me; it talks to my soul. It makes me believe that I can be and do anything that I want, and that there are no limits to what it is I can achieve. And I honestly believe that. I believe it’s true. That there is nothing in this world that I couldn’t handle if I wanted to. And that’s why I love this word so much. It reminds me of the possibilities, even when all odds are against me.

I gave a talk once in which I explained how I believed I could marry Brad Pitt – if I wanted to. I remember the girls and women in the audience looking at me and going “yeah, right,” but when I said it I really believed it, and I still do now. To me, the possibilities that life offers are like the laws of physics. I don’t understand them all, and I don’t know them all either, but I do know they work and I believe them to be true. Every time an apple falls from a tree or we launch a rocket into the sky, I’m reminded of those laws.

With unlimited thinking, it’s the same thing. To me, it’s a law just like the ones from Newton. The only difference is that this one is about us and not the world we live in. And what it says to me is pretty simple: by believing in unlimited thoughts, you will achieve unlimited things. I love that. So simple, yet so powerful. But I didn’t always use to think this, and nor did I always like the concept. For a very long time, I believed that the world was small, and that my place in it needed to be even smaller. I had thoughts of all the things that I wanted to do and say and be, yet I never believed I could actually achieve any of them. My thinking was not unlimited at all; on the contrary, there were boundaries everywhere. I would dream about being me, living a life in which I felt happy and fulfilled and content to be who I was, yet I thought that those goals were totally out of reach. My daily life was filled with beliefs about the world that limited me not only in my actions, but in the way I looked at myself and loved myself. I was blocked and unable to move forward. In all honestly, I was miserable, too.

But, back to Brad Pitt. There I am, in an auditorium, speaking to college students, young women with a life of opportunities ahead of them, and none of them believe me. They all immediately limit the thought that I put out into that room: you’re too short, you’re too old, you’re not Angelina, so he could never marry you. All of them fair comments (it’s true, I’m not Angelina), yet really only speculation. And that’s the problem. Who in that auditorium actually went and called Brad, and asked him directly what he thought of the idea? And even if someone would have done that, marrying someone requires love (I hope), and that doesn’t happen overnight (well, it could, but it’s rare). So this goal would need to be put in motion with a lot of different actions, and if it were a real goal, I should keep at it for a while, in order to reach it. But that’s okay, no issues there. I’m all up for that, and it might be worth it, too.

The problem is the limits we immediately put on our thinking. And the results that that impulse has on the size and horizon of our personal universe. I cannot say for sure that Brad wouldn’t marry me, except if I try.

Yet, when our dreams get big we all immediately jump to conclusions and deny ourselves the opportunity. And that makes our world small – very small.

Think of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Austrian bodybuilder who not only became one of the best action heroes of our time, but governor of California, too. But okay, enough with the guys. What about women like Amelia Earhart, who made history as an amazing adventurer and flyer, or Coco Chanel, to this day one of the icons of style and fashion? What both of these women, and all the other women and men who wrote history before us, have in common is –  I believe – a muscle for unlimited thinking. The biographies, movies, documentaries, and books about all these great people tell tales of thoughts that were greater than themselves, that they couldn’t shake, and that kept them going forward, even when everyone was against them.

That is the power of unlimited thinking. The limits we believe are all around us are not really there. Of course, there is order to be kept, and it’s important to respect and protect everyone’s freedom and life, but apart from those provisions, there are no limits to what it is you can achieve.

This realization came to me very slowly, and it took me a long time to grasp its full meaning and potential. One day, I wondered if, perhaps, instead of continuing to listen to beliefs that were keeping me and my life small, I could actually change my future and decide to live a life I really wanted to live instead. So I pressed against the invisible boundaries I had set for myself, and I pushed through. Once on the other side, after a lot of pushing and pressing and breaking through my own beliefs, I realized that in fact there are no limits at all, apart from the ones we create for ourselves. And so I developed my own muscle for unlimited thinking. And as a result, I have achieved amazing things, been to amazing places, met amazing people, and even married a man that I consider to be my very own – and better – version of Brad Pitt.

Because that too is the power of unlimited thinking. What we want changes over time and the more you use the muscle the more what looks impossible now will become part of your normal thought pattern in the future.

Never forget: everything you think is easy today, you once found really hard to do. So think as big as you can. It’s only up to you to decide how inlimited you want to live.