Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Navigating Entrepreneurial Growing Pains
Have you ever experienced that phenomenon where you are in a really slow season of your business, begging the Universe to provide you with more opportunities to grow, and then all of a sudden every available opportunity hits at once? You’re so excited for the chance to do business and show off your skills, so you say yes to everything, working yourself to the bone trying to hit all your deadlines on time, but then you finish and need a month or two of rest to recover.
Me too.
Since starting my entrepreneurial journey, I’ve had a hard time enjoying the fruits of all my hard work. I’d spend so much time setting up trying to drum up business without seeing any results. Then all of a sudden, the business opportunities would fly in and I’d be completely overwhelmed. I often felt like a chicken with my head cut off, running around with no sustainable strategy for how to get all this work done without burning out.
In the years since, I’ve tried many tools to get through these busy seasons without burning out, but the ones that worked the best, that have continued to work for me, are the ones that seem counterintuitive. When I’m in my busiest season, the best thing I can do is slow down and take a breath. Even now, when I’m busier than ever, I struggle to manage my time without taking a moment to pause and reflect.
By pausing, I’m able to create a strategy for this particular busy season that allows me to thrive. Here are a few of the strategies that help me manage the growing pains, both personally and in my business:
Identify your vision and mission. All businesses start with a vision, whether it’s a vision of your personal future or the future of your company. When we’re in our busy seasons, we can lose focus of what it is we set out to do when we started our entrepreneurial endeavors. By setting aside time to refocus on the purpose behind our businesses or projects, and what we hope to get out of it, we’re better able to set boundaries and stave off overwhelm.
Create your ideal team. When your business is growing and you’re struggling to meet demand, building a solid team around you is one of the best things you can do to alleviate stress. But great teams are not created accidentally. It takes time, patience, and a want to surround yourself with people you can effectively manage and interact with. That’s why it’s important to work on this when things aren’t busy. But if you haven’t, don’t fall into the trap of not doing it when you need it most! Once your ideal team is assembled, fervent energy manifests and stress dissipates, leaving only creative approaches to handling your growing pains.
Learn to delegate. Entrepreneurs and small business owners usually strike out on their own because they want to be their own boss. And when you have spent time working for yourself, doing all the tasks, and only having to hold yourself accountable, you can forget to delegate when things get busy. Look for support based on individual skills and expertise. Take advantage of it, let go of trying to do everything yourself, and the growing pains will be easier to navigate (and you’ll *finally* learn to delegate!).
Build strategy and SOPs early on. It’s important to have strategy and standard operating procedures in place prior to, or at least at the beginning of, the busy season to help prevent growing pains from stalling your work. I hired Alex recently, a new and amazing Chief of Staff. It's been a good year since I knew I had to find support to be able to navigate my growing business. So I’d started recording weekly marketing and communications tasks using Loom. When Alex came on board a few weeks ago, she had a (albeit small) library of SOPs to get her going.
Letting go of growth and being okay with it. There’s this pressure in business that makes it seem like every idea, every project, needs to be striving for maximum growth. But what if you don’t want maximum growth? What if you’re content with where your business is and not enjoying the experience of growing pains? It’s okay to sit back and relax into the comfort of where you are right now. Also, a company can be a company of one and be very successful. There’s an amazing book by Paul Jarvis that speaks exactly to that. If staying lean and free of the burden of growth is your goal, I recommend you read it.
Life as an entrepreneur is always exciting. There’s always an opportunity for growth, both personally and professionally. They give you a chance to dig deep and push yourself to identify what systems are working for you, what isn’t necessary for success, and help you see what needs to evolve and what can be let go.
Overwhelmed by too many opportunities?
The five steps above sound easy to some entrepreneurs, but for most they might find it difficult to take that pause. In the past 25 years, I’ve experienced similar issues, both in my own work and in my client’s. This is why I became a certified career and business coach: I wanted my clients to navigate building and growing businesses and projects with ease and flow, and without the overwhelm.
You deserve an opportunity to see your company grow and not feel overwhelmed or stressed. In our coaching sessions, we will dive deep into how to grow your business successfully, your vision and mission for it, and how we can get you there feeling confident and fulfilled.
How to Beat Imposter Syndrome When Thinking About Changing Careers.
"Will I be able to do this?", "I think I need to study for it first," "I don't think I have the right cv." I often hear similar questions and concerns when talking to clients about their career dreams in my coaching practice. Even though they have years of experience, a natural capacity for problem-solving, a hunger for knowledge, and no problems with learning new things, these bright, creative souls feel like they're not good enough to pursue what they truly want in their careers.
It's not uncommon. I've suffered from impostor syndrome my entire life. I still do, even though it's much better than it used to be. Perhaps you've experienced this too. Many of us feel insecure when thinking about changing careers. We doubt our abilities and are scared of failing at something that we don't know how to do yet. Some of this fear is a natural part of the process of change. Stepping into the unknown is always a little scary. It gets tricky when fear becomes a more pervasive, debilitating feeling of insecurity and lack of confidence. That's when imposter syndrome can set in. When this happens, we need to take a step back and reassess the situation because what stops us from changing careers is not a real lack of capabilities but imagined shortcomings.
What is impostor syndrome?
Impostor Syndrome is a phenomenon where we feel like impostors or frauds despite having achieved success. It's an internal experience of intellectual phoniness, an incapacity to internalize our accomplishments and all the goals we have already achieved. We second-guess ourselves, worry that people will soon find out that we're not good at what we say we are, that we're just frauds waiting to be discovered. People with impostor syndrome often attribute their successes to luck rather than skill, talent, or hard work. Impostor syndrome is more prevalent among women, but men experience it too. Recent studies show that it hits minority groups harder.
Impostor syndrome can cause feelings of fear, anxiety, and even depression if left unchecked. In my practice, I see how it stops many talented creatives and entrepreneurs from going after what they truly want. Some will go to great length in order to avoid “being found out”, like saying no to interesting opportunities or promotions. Instead of allowing themselves to explore their dreams, they stick to what's safe and familiar. Even then, they feel it's only a matter of time before they'll be found out.
Where does impostor syndrome come from?
Impostor Syndrome has much to do with the messages we grew up with and our internalized beliefs about ourselves. When we make significant changes in our lives, these negative messages can resurface as fear, doubt, and insecurity. It's possible that somewhere in our past, someone made us feel like we weren't good enough or capable of succeeding at something new.
Another reason we suffer from impostor syndrome is that we compare ourselves to others and think their success is the result of innate talent rather than the hard work they've put in. This can lead to a feeling of inadequacy, especially if we believe that others have it all figured out and don't suffer from the same stress and anxiety that we suffer from. They do, and they struggle just as much with impostor syndrome and all the feelings of self-doubt that come along with it.
There's nothing wrong with feeling scared or insecure when taking on something new, but you don't have to believe those negative thoughts that come with it. Instead, focus on the skills and experience you have and the exciting opportunities available to you. The most important thing is to recognize it for what it is: a feeling, not necessarily reality.
Another thing that I heard about impostor syndrome recently comes from Shahroo Izadi. In an interview with Steven Bartlett for The Diary of a CEO podcast, she had an exciting idea about where impostor syndrome comes from.
Shahroo is an anti-diet advocate and someone who has overcome an eating disorder and works with people suffering from addictions. People with mental illness, addiction, or an eating disorder have a lot of shame and guilt about their behavior. Because of this, it's difficult for them to acknowledge their professional accomplishments because many feel ashamed about so many other things that they won't allow themselves to internalize their capacities.
I want to extrapolate that based on what I see in my practice and the many stories from my own life and that of my clients. We all have things we're ashamed of and feel guilty about; it might be something we're doing - or thinking (and this is important) when nobody's watching, we all have secrets about who we truly think we are. And we’re absolutely terrified of people finding out!
We carry these secrets with us everywhere, and sometimes even if on a superficial level, we've achieved a lot, and everything looks great. Inside, it's hard for us to accept our successes because of these inner feelings of guilt and shame.
What's the impact of impostor syndrome on your career?
Impostor Syndrome can significantly impact your career. It can make you doubt yourself and prevent you from taking risks or trying new things. You might feel like you're not qualified for the job, that someone else could do it better than you, or that people will soon find out that you're not good at what you do.
On the other end of that spectrum, impostor syndrome can also force you to uphold the highest standards for yourself, to suffer from perfectionism, and to deliver more than is expected of you consistently. This, too, will be detrimental to your career success because it's unsustainable in the long term and because by being so perfect, you're making yourself indispensable in the position you're in. If there's one thing I know about career advancement is that you have to make yourself replaceable to be promoted, not irreplaceable.
How to beat imposter syndrome when you want to change careers?
The first step is recognizing what impostor syndrome looks like in your life. Are you an overachiever? A perfectionist with impossible standards to achieve? Ask yourself: What thoughts am I having? Are they coming from a place of self-doubt or fear? What do I need to feel confident and empowered to make this transition?
Once you have identified the root problems, start challenging those thoughts. Acknowledge your accomplishments and successes, even if they seem minor. Take inventory of your skills and experience. Think about the past jobs or projects you've completed, and list what knowledge or skills were gained from them. You may have more transferable skills than you think! Focus on what makes you unique and different from others in the field - anything from foreign language proficiency to specialized technical expertise.
Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or coach about what you're going through and get their perspective and advice. You don't need to doubt yourself alone; it's one of the reasons the impostor syndrome has so much power over us because we don't share about it enough! Be proactive and reach out for help; it could be the push you need to make the career transition.
Finally, take small steps toward your career goals. Try to do only a little at once - break it down into manageable tasks on which you can start taking action right away. Make sure you celebrate each milestone and reward yourself after completing each task. It's important to recognize and celebrate your progress; this will build your confidence and make it easier to take more risks and move forward with your career.
Start beating impostor syndrome right now.
One thing that I advise all my clients to keep is a "brag list." Since most of them suffer from impostor syndrome or feel like they're not good enough, this simple exercise isn't easy. It might be challenging for you too. On a piece of paper or a note on your computer or smartphone, make a list of all your accomplishments, big or small. Keep the list up to date by adding anything you achieve throughout your days and weeks, no matter how small.
You must list everything you've done. It could be anything from standing up for yourself, getting noticed during a meeting because you spoke up, talking about your business idea to someone, volunteering in the community, mastering a new skill or hobby, etc. Whenever impostor syndrome creeps in and doubts start to swirl around in your head, take a look at your list and remind yourself of all the success you've achieved. Celebrate these wins, and remember that you can keep achieving greatness!
Impostor Syndrome is a widespread experience. So many talented and capable people suffer from it, but it doesn't need to hold you back from changing careers or achieving your goals. You've got this! Good luck!
Tired of feeling like a fraud at work?
I understand the fear and anxiety you experience trying to figure out your career options. That’s why I offer private coaching specifically tailored to those who want to make a shift in their professional life. As a certified coach, I'm an expert in helping people beat imposter syndrome, build confidence and take control of their lives.
You deserve to pursue something that brings you satisfaction and happiness without feeling overwhelmed by self-doubt. Through this one-on-one coaching experience, gain access to tailored strategies and personalized advice that will give you the confidence needed to step into your dream job. No more second guessing yourself or comparing yourself to others!
How Perfectionism Keeps You Stuck, And How to Stop Letting it Hold You Back.
Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. In small doses, it can be an inspiring and motivating force that pushes us to reach for the best. It can help us stay focused, work hard and remain committed to a goal. In most cases, unfortunately, perfectionism becomes a prison that keeps you from fulfilling your potential.
In this article, we'll discuss what perfectionism is, common signs of perfectionism, how it keeps you stuck, and finally, I'll offer some practical tips on how to stop letting it hold you back.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a thought pattern where one has an extreme need for everything they do to be perfect. Common signs of perfectionism include black-and-white thinking, all-or-nothing thinking, feeling overwhelmed by the task, procrastination due to fear of failure, and overthinking decisions.
It's important to understand that perfectionism isn't just about achieving high standards; instead, it's more of an emotional response to making mistakes or not meeting expectations. Perfectionists are often highly critical of themselves and others and have an unrealistic view of their abilities.
Perfectionism is not a healthy mindset.
Even though perfectionism is often worn as a badge of honor, most perfectionists don't experience it as a good thing. Instead, it can be a significant source of stress due to endless procrastination and feelings of never being good enough, worthlessness, and discontentment.
If you're a perfectionist, I'm sure you're familiar with the fear of failure or criticism and how they cause you to set impossible standards for yourself. Because you're afraid not to live up to those standards, you quickly become overwhelmed and don't take risks. You may also find yourself procrastinating and never getting started on tasks because you're trying to make everything perfect before even beginning.
When perfectionism gets out of control, rather than encouraging progress and growth, it keeps us stuck in an endless loop of thinking, overthinking, and analyzing every detail until we never reach the finish line. When we focus too much on ensuring everything is perfect—our work, our relationships, or ourselves—we cannot take risks or accept failure as part of the learning process. Instead of feeling motivated and energized by challenges, we feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by them.
Where does perfectionism come from?
Perfectionism can stem from several sources, including upbringing, cultural norms, and insecurities. I believe perfectionism is a defense mechanism or a success strategy we learned in childhood to be safe by gaining approval and acceptance from those around us. Recently, a student in my writing class who's also a teacher shared that the most gifted children in her class are often the ones who suffer the most from perfectionism. They say no to activities they might fail at because they've been conditioned to believe failure is unacceptable.
It's important to understand that perfectionism is not necessarily something you're born with—it's often an acquired behavior or way of thinking. We may have learned it from our parents, teachers, or peers who believed that only the best was good enough. Or, as in my case, it stems from a need for control I internalized very young to survive in an emotionally and physically chaotic home.
How is perfectionism keeping you stuck?
Perfectionism can manifest itself through various behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. It often shows up as procrastination, avoidance, ruminating over decisions or outcomes, and having unrealistic expectations of oneself. Taking a long time to do simple tasks or overthinking every detail so much that progress stalls or stops. You might also find that you're unable to let go of mistakes or failures, striving for an unrealistic level of excellence and never feeling satisfied with your work.
Perfectionism also manifests in negative self-talk—constantly criticizing yourself for not being good enough or beating yourself up for making mistakes. This type of thinking hinders progress by generating feelings of inadequacy and insecurity which keep us stuck in our comfort zone because we're too afraid to take risks and try something new.
In my practice, I see many creatives and entrepreneurs who suffer from perfectionism. Although incredibly gifted and talented, they get stuck because of their perfectionist tendencies. They feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear of failure and criticism so much that it prevents them from doing anything about their creative ideas or business dreams. Instead of taking any action, they prefer to do nothing. Like Margie, a talented writer who doesn't start her novel because she's convinced it won't be good enough, or Amir, who is too afraid to show his work and start selling it, so he keeps it to himself.
How to stop letting perfectionism hold you back?
Even though perfectionism can hold us back and prevent us from taking action, it doesn't have to be that way. Understanding what triggers our perfectionism and developing healthier expectations makes it possible to break free from the grip of perfectionism and learn how to take healthy risks. Here are a few tips that can help:
#1 Awareness
The first step towards overcoming perfectionism is becoming aware of it. We need to understand our perfectionist tendencies and the negative patterns that we've internalized to make a change. It was hard to see that I was a perfectionist until I noticed how expecting so much of myself and others affected my work and relationships. That's when I was finally able to make the shift. Once we become aware, we can challenge our perfectionist thinking and behavior. Perfectionism hides in many places: how we speak to ourselves, approach tasks and projects, or even the standards we set for ourselves. Once we become aware of the areas in which perfectionism is holding us back, it's easier to identify and break these patterns.
#2 Accept imperfection
Once you recognize it, challenge your thinking by asking questions like: Why do I need everything to be perfect? What will happen if I make mistakes? How can I use this situation as an opportunity for learning and growth? Accept imperfection. This might sound counterintuitive, but accepting your limitations and shortcomings is the key to freeing yourself from perfectionism. When I finally realized that I couldn't write perfectly on the first try, I stopped procrastinating and instead started writing. Recognizing that you're not perfect allows you to make mistakes without feeling guilty or ashamed.
#3 Aim for progress, not perfection
Aim for progress rather than obsessing over perfectionism. We should focus on making progress, no matter how small, rather than striving for perfection. This shift allowed me to finally start my podcast after thinking about it for more than seven years! Even if it was well-intentioned, perfectionism can make you feel like every single detail needs to be perfect. It's more important to focus on the progress that you're making. It's okay if things aren't perfect immediately; what matters is that you keep moving forward and learning from your mistakes. 1% better every episode; that's what I'm aiming for with my podcast now, instead of waiting for perfection to get started.
#4 Learn to accept your mistakes
The key is learning to let go of needing everything to be perfect for it to have value or worth. Accept that mistakes will happen; this will allow you the freedom and confidence to take risks without fear of failure. One thing I've done to help me to accept my mistakes is to learn to appreciate them. The first big one I enjoyed this way was the monologue I delivered on stage last year. It could have been better, but it was good enough. Instead of looking at the mistakes and getting frustrated, I chose to look at the experience as a learning opportunity and use it to improve my speaking skills and create something better next time.
#5 Practice self-compassion
Finally, practice self-compassion. Replace feelings of inadequacy and shame with acceptance and understanding. Remind yourself that making mistakes is part of life and doesn't make you any less amazing. Treat yourself like your best friend and be gentle with yourself when setting standards. If you can view mistakes as an opportunity for growth, they become much less intimidating. I had to show a lot of self-compassion for myself recently when I changed my marketing focus quite drastically without knowing how it would pan out. So far, I'm pleased with the results and confident I chose the right path.
If it wasn't clear yet, I'm a recovering perfectionist. I've already done a lot of work to break free from the shackles of perfectionism. However, I'm still learning and practicing to be an imperfectionist—to accept that done is better than perfect, that sometimes making a mistake is okay, and that it's the journey, not the destination, that matters most.
It takes time and practice to break the cycle of perfectionism, but it's absolutely possible; I see it in my work and life every day. Be patient and persistent, and you will create a life full of success, satisfaction, and joy!
Are you feeling overwhelmed by perfectionism?
As an ambitious person, it’s only natural that you want to produce top-notch results. But the constant quest for perfection can lead to procrastination and stagnation in your career or business. That’s why private coaching can be a powerful tool for breaking through these barriers.
With private coaching, you’ll get personalized attention and accountability from me. I'll help you identify areas of improvement and offer advice on how to reach your goals with greater confidence and efficiency. You'll also develop new strategies that empower you to move forward without dreading every mistake along the way.
Stuck in the Overthinking Loop? Here Are 5 Ways to Get Out.
Do you ever feel like you're stuck in an overthinking loop? You know, where all you can do is think about everything – the good, the bad, and the terrifying – and it's preventing you from taking action? This type of thinking often leads to paralysis by analysis.
Overthinking and worrying about the right decision is stressful and causes anxiety. Those are not great feelings. Instead of helping us get unstuck, they keep us where we are for longer. I know because I've had to work through them to get to where I am today - and so have many of my clients. That endless spiral of thoughts that keeps you up at night, where you get so caught up in your thoughts that you can't make a decision, can be disastrous for your career, business, or personal life, especially if you want to make meaningful progress.
The good news is there are ways to get out of the overthinking loop and start taking action again. In this article, I'll share five strategies to help you get out of your head and move forward! But first, let's take a look at why we overthink in the first place.
Why do we overthink?
We all have fears and concerns that can cause us to overthink. We might be worried about making the wrong decision or feeling doubtful about our abilities or worthiness. Fear of failure and fear of rejection – these can all be triggers for overthinking.
Of course, sometimes it's just human nature – when there's an unknown or unpredictable situation, our natural response is to think more about it to prepare ourselves better and feel less anxious. Chronic overthinking is one of the reasons many people get and stay stuck. Because of brain plasticity, forming a habit of overthinking every choice happens without us realizing it. Add a dash of the nervous system to it that feels as if danger lurks every time a decision needs to be made, and you have a recipe for disaster.
Regardless of why we're doing it, too much rumination can keep us from living a full life and reaching our goals. That's why it's essential to find ways out of the overthinking loop as soon as possible!
Five strategies to get out of the overthinking loop
Train yourself to make quicker decisions: The way to get out of overthinking is by training your brain and nervous system to make quicker decisions without giving them much thought. You want to practice this on little things first, like the pants you will wear today or the coffee or sandwich you will order at Starbucks for lunch. Practice making quicker choices daily and gradually work your way up to more complex situations and options.
Let go of perfectionism: We all want to make the right decision and have perfect outcomes, but that type of thinking can send us into a never-ending cycle of overthinking. Accepting imperfection is key to getting out of the loop; doing something is better than nothing! Remind yourself that mistakes happen, growth requires learning from your failures. Take a risk, and remember that you can course-correct if needed.
Understand your fears: When you're in the overthinking loop, it can become hard to see past your fears. To get unstuck from this kind of thinking, try to understand why you're scared or anxious about making a decision. Is there something you need to learn more about? Do you need help from someone else? Once you have identified the source of your fear and anxiety, it's easier to work through it and move forward.
Eliminate the noise: It's easy to get caught up in the endless loop of thoughts when we have too many options to entertain. To start making progress, take a step back and strip away any distractions, opinions, or options that don't matter so you can focus on what's important and make an informed decision. What ideas can you eliminate? What information will help you make the right choice? What opinions can you do without?
Take action: The only way to get out of the overthinking loop for good is by taking action. Even if it feels scary or uncertain at first – do something! Taking small steps will give you momentum that can help propel you forward into more significant decisions and actions with more confidence. Remember, every day is an opportunity to practice making better decisions, trust yourself, and take action! If you're struggling to find your way out of overthinking, I hope these five strategies have given you some ideas for moving forward.
Overthinking can keep us stuck. It can lead to paralysis by analysis, or worse, make us doubt ourselves in the decision-making moment, so we stay stuck forever. But with the right strategies, it can be a different way. Training yourself into faster decisions, letting go of perfectionism, understanding your fears, eliminating noise, and taking action are all excellent ways to help you break out of the overthinking loop and move forward confidently!
So if you feel stuck in your head and keep contemplating the same ideas or options repeatedly, remember: in the end, you cannot think yourself into anything; you have to go out and do it! Good luck!
Feeling stuck in an overthinking loop and needing to make progress?
Private coaching is a great way to get unstuck and take action. You'll be able to work with me one-on-one, and I'll help guide you to the life and work you want.
Imagine your life if you could finally break free from the chains of overthinking. How much progress could you make if you had someone supporting and motivating you every step of the way? Sign up for a free session today and find out.
How to Get Better at Being Wrong: How to Accept Not Being Perfect and Handle Mistakes
Making mistakes is a natural part of life. But for some people, making mistakes can be challenging, especially if you're a perfectionist or a people-pleaser. If you find yourself struggling with this, don't worry - you're not alone. I know a thing or two about not being great at being wrong. This article will explore how to get better at it and handle mistakes more healthily.
No one is perfect. To some, this isn't a problem. To others, it can be agonizing to have to deliver something that isn't exactly right or the way they pictured it in their head. I know because I used to be like that. And to be honest, I still am sometimes. But I've learned that it's okay to be wrong. It's essential if you want to grow and improve.
Making mistakes is how we learn. If we never made any mistakes, we would never learn anything new. We would stay stuck, sitting on the warm cushion of our comfort zones, doing the same things repeatedly. So next time you make a mistake, instead of beating yourself up about it, try to see it as an opportunity to expand and discover something new about yourself.
Let's explore and figure out how to get better at being wrong...
If you're a perfectionist, the key is to learn to accept not being perfect and to focus on the process, not the outcome. It's important to remember that you cannot move forward in your life without being wrong sometimes. Instead of beating yourself up about it, try to see it as an opportunity to grow. Something that helped me, and many of my clients, is to realize that your worth is not tied to your level of "perfectness." Making a mistake doesn't diminish your value or the amount of recognition you deserve for your work or the person that you are. These are entirely separate things. So be gentle with yourself, and remind yourself that you're just human.
If you're a people-pleaser, it's equally important to remember that making mistakes does not reflect your worth as a person. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you're bad or unworthy of love and respect. It's okay to make mistakes - we all do it. What matters is how you handle them. So instead of stressing over it, try to see it as a part of being alive, of being human. And next time, try not to put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect.
As a people-pleaser, setting healthy boundaries can help to avoid mistakes. Don't put yourself in situations where you're likely to make mistakes to please others. It's okay to say no if something isn't right for you. And when you do make a mistake, don't be afraid to own up to it and apologize if necessary.
To summarise, here are seven tips to get better at being wrong:
Learn to accept not being perfect: Remember that mistakes are part of learning and growth. Instead of beating yourself up about them, try to see them as an opportunity to learn and improve.
Focus on the process, not the outcome: If you're a perfectionist, it's important to remember that your worth is not tied to your level of "perfectness." Making a mistake doesn't diminish your value or the amount of recognition you deserve for your work or the person that you are.
Be gentle with yourself: We all make mistakes - it's part of life. So be gentle with yourself, and remind yourself that you're just human.
Set healthy boundaries: As a people-pleaser, it's important to set healthy boundaries. Don't put yourself in situations where you're likely to make mistakes to please others.
Own up to your mistakes: When you make a mistake, don't be afraid to own up to it and apologize.
Remember that we all make mistakes: So next time you make one, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow instead of beating yourself up about it. And if you're struggling with this, don't worry - you're not alone. Remember that your worth is not tied to your mistakes and that making a mistake doesn't make you a bad person.
Embrace your mistakes: One final tip is to try and embrace your mistakes. Instead of seeing them as a negative thing, try to see them as a part of who you are. Embracing your mistakes can help you to accept yourself, good and bad. It can also be a source of strength - knowing that you're not perfect but still choosing to try and do your best.
Doing these things will help you get better at being wrong and hopefully make mistakes less daunting. So next time you make a mistake, don't hide it - embrace it!
Do you have trouble accepting making mistakes?
I know how it feels to be paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake. I offer private business and career coaching to help you move past that fear and start living your best life.
Imagine what it would feel like to not care about making mistakes. To know that you can try new things, take risks, and be yourself without worrying about what others will think. With my help, you can finally let go of the perfectionism and people-pleasing that's been holding you back for years to build a career or business that you love!
Yet: A Simple Three-Letter Word That Changes Everything
What if I told you that by adding just three letters to the end of your negative self-talk, not only would your mindset change for the better, but so would every aspect of your life? Imagine how much more good you could do in this world if you believed in yourself more and felt like anything was possible. The word "YET" is a three-letter word that can make all of these things happen.
Don't be fooled by the simplicity of the word. The implications are enormous! For many of my clients, it's the shift from a fixed to a growth mindset. They go from believing that their capabilities are what they are today to knowing they can continuously improve and become better - at whatever they set their minds to. By adding the nuance of "yet" to your thoughts and inner talk, you will not only believe you can do it, but you'll also give yourself the gift of patience. You'll know there's still time to perfect your execution of whatever it is you're doing, even if it doesn't happen right away.
Fixed versus Growth Mindset
Carol Dweck presents an interesting case about mindset in her book Mindset, which I highly recommend. She distinguishes between the fixed and growth mindsets saying that those who have a "fixed" mindset believe their capabilities are not changeable - they're just what they are right now. They think things like, "I'm not good at math." or "I'm not a good writer." This mindset limits people from excelling in these areas because they don't allow room or time to improve. People with fixed mindsets believe that their abilities are static, not able to be improved upon.
On the flip side is those who have what Dweck calls growth mindsets. These individuals believe their abilities aren't set in stone. Instead, they think they can develop their abilities through many different pathways - so people with growth mindsets tend to take on challenges head-on and work hard because they know the benefits of doing so will improve them over time. They understand things like "practice makes perfect" or "the more you do something, the better you become at it."
"Yet" changes not just how we see ourselves but also what others see in us. Not good at something yet? No problem! There's always a way so let's figure out how to get there. Suddenly, nothing seems impossible anymore. When you add "yet" into your life, you no longer feel like you're not "good enough" or "smart enough," and everything seems reachable with some effort. That's an empowering thought.
And one that we all desperately need to hear more - nobody was born knowing how to do everything right away. We all have to start somewhere, and we're not going to be good at it the first time, but that doesn't mean we can't get better!
How to use the word "yet" to change your mindset?
Don't say, "I don't know what to do," instead say, "I don't know what to do yet."
Don't say...
I'm not a writer
I'm not good with money
I'm not an entrepreneur
I have no clue on how to make my idea work
I don't know what I want
Instead, say...
I'm not a writer yet
I'm not good with money yet
I'm not an entrepreneur yet
I have no clue on how to make my idea work yet
I don't know what I want yet.
"Yet" is not just for yourself; it's also great to use when encouraging others. If you're not good at something yet, does that mean someone else can automatically do it better than you? Not necessarily. And if they try and fail (which will happen), don't be so quick to point out their failure; instead, ask them what they learned from the experience or how they plan on doing things differently in the future. They can't do it yet, but they might succeed next time!
The three-letter word can help you make all these changes in your mindset, but only if you remember not to take it for granted - to go from "yet" to success, you must be willing to work at it. So be patient with yourself and not too hard on yourself when things don't go according to plan.
Believe that you can improve your capabilities, but understand that the amount of effort and work put into something directly correlates to how good or capable you'll become. Don't be afraid to take on challenges because those challenges will stretch you beyond what's comfortable and allow for personal development and growth.
In the end, "yet" is a little word with significant consequences. It will make you feel like you can accomplish anything in life and be better at whatever it is that interests you.
Your newfound belief in yourself will help you to take more action toward reaching goals and objectives because you won't be fear of failure or embarrassment if not everything goes according to plan.
Do you feel like you're stuck in a rut?
You want to be successful, but sometimes it feels like something is holding you back. Maybe it's fear of failure or the feeling that nothing will work out for you. If this sounds familiar, coaching could help solve those problems and get your life on track again.
My coaching packages are designed to ensure that you get what you need from your time with me so we can create real change together. I know how hard it can be to face some of these issues, and I'm here to support you through them all. Don't wait any longer, and book your free session with me today!
3 Tips for Dealing with Fear of Criticism as a Creative
Everyone has dealt with criticism at some point in their lives. It's hard to hear criticism, especially when you put yourself out there as a creative person. Believe me, I know; it's probably the number one reason that kept me from showing my work for years! But criticism is something that can be beneficial if you take it the right way. This article will share three tips for dealing with criticism as a multi-passionate creative or creative generalist!
I know criticism can be scary - criticism from friends, family, or even strangers on the internet. It's easy to take criticism personally when you're a multi-passionate person who puts yourself out there in many different ways (and all at once). But negative feedback doesn't have to hold you back; it has the potential to motivate and inspire you! Here are three tips for dealing with criticism as a creative individual:
1. Find your inspiration in your naysayers
When criticism comes your way, you can take it as a sign that what you're doing is working. Think of all the people who told Oprah, J.K. Rowling, or Steve Jobs their ideas would never work - and how they turned those naysayers into media and tech empires, or one of most extensive bestselling book series of all time! They took criticism and turned it into inspiration to go after even bigger dreams.
As I mentioned before, take criticism as a sign that you're on the right track - criticism can inspire instead of discourage! When criticism isn't constructive or helpful, don't take it to heart! Remember that criticism is subjective - one person's criticism might be another person's inspiration. To know if the feedback you're getting is worthwhile, always consider the source. Who is telling you? What makes them experts? Do you trust their judgment? If not, have a good laugh and move on.
2. Use criticism as fuel for future work
Of course, criticism isn't always constructive - it can be discouraging and even bring you down to a dark place. But when criticism is helpful, use it as motivation for your next project or idea! If Steve Jobs' naysayers hadn't criticized him along the way, Apple wouldn't be the company it is today.
It's so easy to get discouraged by the people who don't believe in you along your journey - but it's just as important to remember that criticism only brings you down if you allow it to do so!
When you're passionate about your creative projects and put yourself out there in the world, criticism can be discouraging. But instead of focusing on the people who criticize what you do or how you act - concentrate on those few people (or even one person!) whose criticism inspires you to do better.
Do more of what criticism inspires - so it becomes fuel for your future work! Imagine being criticized for not knowing enough about a specific topic; that criticism can motivate you to learn even more about that subject. There's always something new to be discovered or explored when it comes to creativity and the world of multi-passionates anyway, right?! :)
3. Remember that someone is always criticizing you
The truth is - and nobody likes to hear this - you're already being criticized right now, whether you're perfect or not and whether you want it or not.
There will always be critics out there - you can't please everyone. Of course, passionate people don't like criticism and are more likely to be discouraged than inspired to do creative work that already comes with so many hurdles and challenges. But the fact is that not everything has to be perfect! There's no "right way" to do something creative; there are only the ways you choose to do it.
What matters most is your journey - and criticism doesn't have to be part of that journey if you don't want it to be. Remember that not everything has to be flawless, no matter what your critics claim.
Are you afraid of criticism?
You're not alone. The fear of criticism is a common problem that can stop people from being their best selves. But it doesn't have to be this way. With the proper guidance, you can learn how to deal with the fear and retake control of your life.
If you want to live a more fulfilling life but feel held back by fears about what other people think of you, then my private coaching services are for you! I will help you overcome your fears so that they don't hold you back anymore. I have helped hundreds of clients like yourself get past their fears and achieve success in all areas of their lives! I know I can help you too! So why wait any longer?