How to Overcome the Freeze Response When You Need to Make a Choice or a Decision
Feeling stuck? Afraid to choose between all the things you could do or want to do? You're not alone. Many people, especially those with numerous ideas and interests, are frozen by the fear of making the wrong choice. This paralysis can be particularly crippling for entrepreneurs and creatives. Let's explore where this fear comes from, why it's vital to take action even if we're unsure, and how to "combine" instead of choosing, using my unique coaching method. We'll also uncover the truth about clarity — it's more about elimination than you might think. Finally, I'll share three actionable tips to help you move from freeze to flow so you can unlock your true potential and finally do what you want!
Where does the fear come from?
Oh, well, hello there, perfectionism! Even though the fear of making a mistake can take many forms, and we'll explore a few below, behind the biggest lot of it, there is one thing hiding: perfectionism. You know, that thing that makes you think if you can't do it perfectly or choose the perfect course of action, then why bother at all? As ironic as it may seem, perfectionism often leads to procrastination and inaction.
This fear is also amplified by our society's obsession with success and failure, the pressure to comply with what our parents, loved ones, and even friends think we should or should not do. We are constantly bombarded with messages about "the right way" to do things and the "perfect" path to success. This can lead to a fear of failure, disguised as a "fear of choosing," as we fear not living up to these expectations or being judged for our choices.
Societal pressures
Society often sets high expectations, making us believe every choice is monumental, set in stone, and forever. But nothing could be further from the truth. We are conditioned to seek perfection and avoid failure at all costs because we think that we must stick to it at all costs once we have chosen something. This societal pressure can lead to analysis paralysis, where the fear of making a mistake outweighs the desire to move forward.
The truth is that nothing is ever written in stone. You are an evolving and changing being, and you can change your mind.
The dilemma of choice
With so many options available, choosing itself becomes daunting. The paradox of choice, though, suggests that having too many options can lead to anxiety and inaction. When faced with multiple opportunities, the fear of missing out (FOMO) on the "right" one can freeze us in our tracks.
The funny thing is that not choosing is also making a choice - not taking action and staying exactly where you are, which often leads to regret and a feeling of unfulfillment.
Fear of mistakes
Mistakes are often seen as failures rather than learning opportunities. The fear of making the wrong decision can be so overwhelming that it prevents any decision from being made at all. The result? You stay stuck, unable to move forward or seize new opportunities. I am so frustrated by this! Without "failure," there can be no learning; without learning, there can be no growth.
Reframing mistakes for what they truly are is important: growth moments on your path to success.
Why it's essential to take a step even when we don't know everything
Progress over perfection
Taking imperfect action is better than taking no action at all. Every step you take, even if it's not perfect, brings you closer to the clarity you're looking for in hesitating to make a choice. I know this is such a paradox, but it's true: you need to try things out to know what you want. Remember, you can't think yourself into anything; you have to take action to get there.
Learning through action
You learn more from doing than from overthinking. Each action provides valuable feedback, helping you refine your approach and make better decisions in the future. Inaction, on the other hand, offers no learning experience at all - except confirmation that you're not doing anything, which, in the long run, will be detrimental not only to your success but also to your trust in your abilities to actually get things done.
Building momentum
Action creates momentum. Once you take the first step, the next steps become easier. Where attention goes, energy flows. Momentum builds confidence, which, in turn, reduces the fear of making mistakes. Before you know it, you're moving forward with greater ease and assurance. It's almost like magic: the steps you once thought were impossible to figure out now offer themselves to you without you even thinking about it. It's called creative action, and I love it!
How to "combine" instead of choosing
My coaching methodology - The MOVE method
Rather than forcing yourself to choose between multiple passions or ideas, consider how you can combine them - or at least the elements you like in each. This approach allows you to explore different interests simultaneously, creating unique combinations that can lead to innovative solutions and new opportunities. If you want to learn more, schedule a free session with me by clicking here. This is the work I do with clients every day! If you want to know how they have experienced working with me, you can read their success stories here.
Integrative thinking
A big part of my work is helping my clients think of their various interests as pieces of a puzzle. How can they fit together to form a cohesive, sustainable, enjoyable picture? By combining different elements, you can create something unique that leverages all your skills and passions. The best part? You get to decide which parts to keep and which parts to let go of because, yes, you have the right to do that!
Examples of combining interests
If you're passionate about writing and technology, consider starting a tech blog. Love cooking and photography? Create a culinary Instagram account. Want to travel the world and have a daily writing practice? Build a travel blog like my client Lot did. She travels for free to the most unique locations and gets to write about it, too! The possibilities are endless when you allow yourself to think integratively.
The truth about clarity
I touched on it earlier in this post. Clarity is often misunderstood as a state of knowing exactly what you want. In reality, it's more about eliminating what you don't want. By trying different things and discarding what doesn't work - also on a bodily level, that is, really feeling it, you gradually gain clarity on what truly resonates with you.
Clarity comes through iteration. It's not a one-time event but an ongoing process of experimentation and growth. Each experience teaches you something new, helping you refine your path and focus on what matters most.
Finally, trust that clarity will come with time and action. Don't sit around waiting for it to appear magically; go out and do something. Don't rush the process or force decisions, though. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and discover your true path organically.
Three tips to get out of freeze and choose or make a decision
1. Do something
Honestly, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. Take a deep breath, look at your to-do list, close your eyes, and, with your index finger, point at something on your list. Whatever you've pointed at, start doing it. This is the best way to get out of indecision and find clarity. Taking action will give you a sense of momentum and help you break out of the mental freeze.
2. Seek inspiration, aka practice productive procrastination
If you're feeling stuck, seek inspiration from outside sources. Read a book, watch a movie, listen to a podcast, or talk to someone who inspires you - make sure whatever you do is somehow connected to your goal. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh perspective to spark new ideas and inspire clarity. So, if you're trying to start a business, and if nothing else, have a coffee with an entrepreneur; if you're procrastination on a health goal, do five minutes of stretching, go outside, or look up the gyms in your area. However small, the step you take will unlock the freeze and give you a sense of empowerment.
3. Seek support
Don't try to do this alone, especially if you've been stuck or in freeze mode for a while. Seek support from mentors, coaches, or like-minded peers. They can provide valuable insights, encouragement, and accountability, helping you stay on track and move forward. Also, don't forget about the power of vulnerability and reaching out to friends or family for emotional support. Sometimes, a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on can make all the difference in finding the courage to decide and take action.
Overcoming the freeze response so you can choose something or decide is a challenging but necessary journey. I see it in my coaching practice every day, but I also see how clients get out of it. By understanding the root causes of your fear, taking imperfect action, and combining your interests, you can break free from paralysis. Remember, clarity is an elimination game, and taking small steps will lead you closer to your goals.
Ready to take the next step? Click here to sign up for my upcoming Free Dive Deeper Webinar on June 19th at 2 pm EST / 8 pm CET to learn more about my MOVE method, how to beat perfectionism and procrastination, and finally get into action!
Feeling stuck in an overthinking loop and unable to make a decision?
Working with me is a great way to get unstuck and take action. We'll work together on identifying what is keeping you stuck, and I'll help guide you to the life and work you want.
Imagine your life if you could finally break free from the chains of overthinking, doubt and fear. How much progress could you make if you had someone supporting and motivating you every step of the way? Sign up for a free session today and find out.
