How to Overcome the Freeze Response When You Need to Make a Choice or a Decision

Feeling stuck? Afraid to choose between all the things you could do or want to do? You're not alone. Many people, especially those with numerous ideas and interests, are frozen by the fear of making the wrong choice. This paralysis can be particularly crippling for entrepreneurs and creatives. Let's explore where this fear comes from, why it's vital to take action even if we're unsure, and how to "combine" instead of choosing, using my unique coaching method. We'll also uncover the truth about clarity — it's more about elimination than you might think. Finally, I'll share three actionable tips to help you move from freeze to flow so you can unlock your true potential and finally do what you want!

Where does the fear come from?

Oh, well, hello there, perfectionism! Even though the fear of making a mistake can take many forms, and we'll explore a few below, behind the biggest lot of it, there is one thing hiding: perfectionism. You know, that thing that makes you think if you can't do it perfectly or choose the perfect course of action, then why bother at all? As ironic as it may seem, perfectionism often leads to procrastination and inaction.

This fear is also amplified by our society's obsession with success and failure, the pressure to comply with what our parents, loved ones, and even friends think we should or should not do. We are constantly bombarded with messages about "the right way" to do things and the "perfect" path to success. This can lead to a fear of failure, disguised as a "fear of choosing," as we fear not living up to these expectations or being judged for our choices.

Societal pressures

Society often sets high expectations, making us believe every choice is monumental, set in stone, and forever. But nothing could be further from the truth. We are conditioned to seek perfection and avoid failure at all costs because we think that we must stick to it at all costs once we have chosen something. This societal pressure can lead to analysis paralysis, where the fear of making a mistake outweighs the desire to move forward.

The truth is that nothing is ever written in stone. You are an evolving and changing being, and you can change your mind.

The dilemma of choice

With so many options available, choosing itself becomes daunting. The paradox of choice, though, suggests that having too many options can lead to anxiety and inaction. When faced with multiple opportunities, the fear of missing out (FOMO) on the "right" one can freeze us in our tracks.

The funny thing is that not choosing is also making a choice - not taking action and staying exactly where you are, which often leads to regret and a feeling of unfulfillment.

Fear of mistakes

Mistakes are often seen as failures rather than learning opportunities. The fear of making the wrong decision can be so overwhelming that it prevents any decision from being made at all. The result? You stay stuck, unable to move forward or seize new opportunities. I am so frustrated by this! Without "failure," there can be no learning; without learning, there can be no growth.

Reframing mistakes for what they truly are is important: growth moments on your path to success.

Why it's essential to take a step even when we don't know everything

Progress over perfection

Taking imperfect action is better than taking no action at all. Every step you take, even if it's not perfect, brings you closer to the clarity you're looking for in hesitating to make a choice. I know this is such a paradox, but it's true: you need to try things out to know what you want. Remember, you can't think yourself into anything; you have to take action to get there.

Learning through action

You learn more from doing than from overthinking. Each action provides valuable feedback, helping you refine your approach and make better decisions in the future. Inaction, on the other hand, offers no learning experience at all - except confirmation that you're not doing anything, which, in the long run, will be detrimental not only to your success but also to your trust in your abilities to actually get things done.

Building momentum

Action creates momentum. Once you take the first step, the next steps become easier. Where attention goes, energy flows. Momentum builds confidence, which, in turn, reduces the fear of making mistakes. Before you know it, you're moving forward with greater ease and assurance. It's almost like magic: the steps you once thought were impossible to figure out now offer themselves to you without you even thinking about it. It's called creative action, and I love it!

How to "combine" instead of choosing

My coaching methodology - The MOVE method

Rather than forcing yourself to choose between multiple passions or ideas, consider how you can combine them - or at least the elements you like in each. This approach allows you to explore different interests simultaneously, creating unique combinations that can lead to innovative solutions and new opportunities. If you want to learn more, schedule a free session with me by clicking here. This is the work I do with clients every day! If you want to know how they have experienced working with me, you can read their success stories here.

Integrative thinking

A big part of my work is helping my clients think of their various interests as pieces of a puzzle. How can they fit together to form a cohesive, sustainable, enjoyable picture? By combining different elements, you can create something unique that leverages all your skills and passions. The best part? You get to decide which parts to keep and which parts to let go of because, yes, you have the right to do that!

Examples of combining interests

If you're passionate about writing and technology, consider starting a tech blog. Love cooking and photography? Create a culinary Instagram account. Want to travel the world and have a daily writing practice? Build a travel blog like my client Lot did. She travels for free to the most unique locations and gets to write about it, too! The possibilities are endless when you allow yourself to think integratively.

The truth about clarity

I touched on it earlier in this post. Clarity is often misunderstood as a state of knowing exactly what you want. In reality, it's more about eliminating what you don't want. By trying different things and discarding what doesn't work - also on a bodily level, that is, really feeling it, you gradually gain clarity on what truly resonates with you.

Clarity comes through iteration. It's not a one-time event but an ongoing process of experimentation and growth. Each experience teaches you something new, helping you refine your path and focus on what matters most.

Finally, trust that clarity will come with time and action. Don't sit around waiting for it to appear magically; go out and do something. Don't rush the process or force decisions, though. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and discover your true path organically.

Three tips to get out of freeze and choose or make a decision

1. Do something

Honestly, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. Take a deep breath, look at your to-do list, close your eyes, and, with your index finger, point at something on your list. Whatever you've pointed at, start doing it. This is the best way to get out of indecision and find clarity. Taking action will give you a sense of momentum and help you break out of the mental freeze.

2. Seek inspiration, aka practice productive procrastination

If you're feeling stuck, seek inspiration from outside sources. Read a book, watch a movie, listen to a podcast, or talk to someone who inspires you - make sure whatever you do is somehow connected to your goal. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh perspective to spark new ideas and inspire clarity. So, if you're trying to start a business, and if nothing else, have a coffee with an entrepreneur; if you're procrastination on a health goal, do five minutes of stretching, go outside, or look up the gyms in your area. However small, the step you take will unlock the freeze and give you a sense of empowerment.

3. Seek support

Don't try to do this alone, especially if you've been stuck or in freeze mode for a while. Seek support from mentors, coaches, or like-minded peers. They can provide valuable insights, encouragement, and accountability, helping you stay on track and move forward. Also, don't forget about the power of vulnerability and reaching out to friends or family for emotional support. Sometimes, a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on can make all the difference in finding the courage to decide and take action.

Overcoming the freeze response so you can choose something or decide is a challenging but necessary journey. I see it in my coaching practice every day, but I also see how clients get out of it. By understanding the root causes of your fear, taking imperfect action, and combining your interests, you can break free from paralysis. Remember, clarity is an elimination game, and taking small steps will lead you closer to your goals.

Ready to take the next step? Click here to sign up for my upcoming Free Dive Deeper Webinar on June 19th at 2 pm EST / 8 pm CET to learn more about my MOVE method, how to beat perfectionism and procrastination, and finally get into action!

Feeling stuck in an overthinking loop and unable to make a decision?

Working with me is a great way to get unstuck and take action. We'll work together on identifying what is keeping you stuck, and I'll help guide you to the life and work you want.

Imagine your life if you could finally break free from the chains of overthinking, doubt and fear. How much progress could you make if you had someone supporting and motivating you every step of the way? Sign up for a free session today and find out.

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How to Overcome The Fear of Choice: 5 Tips For Those With Too Many Ideas And Interests

When you're a creative generalist (multi-passionate creative) or someone with many passions and interests, the fear of choice can be a real challenge. How do you know what the "right" thing to do is? How do you know which idea to pursue? How do you know which direction to take your career? This article will explore how to overcome the fear of choice and make decisions without feeling paralyzed by all of your options.

Not choosing is also a choice.

The first step is to understand that you don't have to choose forever. It's something I took a long time to learn and probably one of the most freeing things I teach my clients. If you're thinking about starting a new project but are afraid to commit, remember that you can always change your mind later. You really - really - never choose anything forever.

The second step is to understand that you can combine interests and ideas. It's one of the things that makes creative generalists so special. We can see connections between disparate things and bring them together into something new. So if you're feeling pulled in two different directions, try combining them into something new instead of choosing one or the other.

The third step is to choose temporarily. It goes hand-in-hand with the understanding that you can always change your mind later. When making a decision, remember that it doesn't have to be forever. You can always try something new later. It takes the pressure off of making a "perfect" decision and allows you to experiment without fear.

It's about the choice that's right for you at the moment.

When creative generalists are confronted with a choice, many are overwhelmed to the point that they do nothing anymore. But the truth is: that no choice is also a choice. If you don't decide, someone else will do it for you. So instead of being afraid of making the wrong choice, embrace your many passions and use them to your advantage. You never know where they might lead you. Remember, there is no "right" thing to do - there is only what is right for you at this moment. And even that can change tomorrow. So don't be afraid to experiment, combine interests, and change your mind. It's all part of the creative process!

Do you struggle with the fear of choice? Here are five tips to help you overcome indecision and move forward with your life.

1. Write down everything that interests you and look for the common themes. Are there things you can combine or that build upon each other? For example, if you're interested in fashion and design, you could pursue a career in fashion journalism or start your clothing line.

2. Look at your interests from different angles. What are the skills you have that are transferable to other contexts or environments? Instead of thinking in terms of knowledge gaps, what are your knowledge strengths? Remember that you don't have to choose just one thing. You can have multiple interests and pursue some of them simultaneously. The key is to be flexible and open-minded and not get too attached to any one idea.

3. By understanding your values, you can start to narrow down your options. What is most important to you? Is it creative expression? Making a difference in the world? Financial security? Once you know what you value most, you can begin to make choices that align with those values.

4. Try not to get caught up in the details. It's easy to get bogged down in all of the "what ifs" and "buts" when making a decision. But at the end of the day, there is usually more than one correct answer. So don't overthink it – go with your gut and trust that you will figure out the details along the way.

5. Sometimes, the best way to make a decision is to weigh your options and see which one feels right. But don't get too caught up in this process – at the end of the day, you must go with your gut feeling. So if that means combining things that look different to everyone else but make sense to you, go for it! Make a list of pros and cons for each option, but don't agonize over it.

Making decisions can be challenging, but it's important to remember that you don't have to choose forever. You can always change your mind later. So embrace your many passions and use them to your advantage. You never know where they might lead you. So go ahead and let your inner creative generalist out! Don't let the fear of choice keep you from pursuing your dreams.

Feeling lost in your career?
Overwhelmed by all your interests and the things you "could be doing"?

You're not alone. A lot of people feel stuck at some point in their careers. That's where private coaching can help. I will help you get unstuck and figure out what you want to do next.

Imagine having a job that combines all your passions into one cohesive career. It's possible, I see it every day in my practice, and I can help make it happen for you. We'll work together to find the best way to use your skills and talents, so you can finally be happy with your work life.

Schedule your free session!

I Want To Do Everything: Which Career Should I Choose?

"I want to do everything!" How many times have you told yourself that? As a creative generalist or multi-passionate creative (aka a multipotentialite, a polymath, a renaissance soul, or a slasher), you likely feel like this at least a few times a week. It's great to be passionate and curious about different things and to wonder about different career paths as a result. But without knowing which career would best suit your skill-set and personality, and more, make you happy, choice stress can set in. Don't worry! In this article, we'll discuss what career choices might be a good fit for someone who likes doing everything, so read on!

If you're a creative generalist or multi-passionate creative, the choice anxiety that plagues many people is probably your worst nightmare. It was for me, anyway. When I was younger, I wanted to do so many things! From graphic design to drawing, from freelance writing to web application development, I was interested in it all, and everyone around me was pushing me to pick a thing, to choose, to "decide my entire life!". This career choice stress got so bad at times that it kept me from doing anything at all, or it made me start too many things simultaneously and lose focus very fast. 

If you're suffering from choice stress, the first thing you need to do is to figure out which (creative) career path makes your heart skip a beat and the multi-passionate creative that you are. Because, well, yes, there are variations in how we express our unique creative nature! For example, suppose you are a creative generalist who likes to dive deep into a subject for a while. In that case, you might want to choose your primary interest and follow that as a career path while keeping your other interests and passions alive on the side. If, however, you need a lot of variation (like me) and can't live without actively pursuing a few of your interests at once, then you should focus your career choice on jobs that include at least a portion of those interests and the variety that you need. Or perhaps you're more of an entrepreneur and would instead start your own creative business, in which case variety will be available to you.

Everyone goes through career and choice anxiety at times. Still, as a multi-passionate creative, the stress can skyrocket because you have so many interests, because you need variety and because you hate boredom. Your hunger for knowledge doesn't seem to help either. 'How can a job keep me interested for long?' is something clients ask me all the time.

I know how hard it can be to feel like you have to choose. But this is your lucky day. I'm here to tell you that you don't have to, at least not really. Yes, you have to pick something and get started, but that doesn't mean you have to stick with that one thing forever. You're free, remember.

Let's explore five tips to help you make your next career move as a creative generalist.

You can always change your mind later. You can always change career paths later, even if you make a decision now. It's not really about the career choice itself; it's more about what your career choice says about who you are as a person and how much passion you have for this path.

If nothing sparks your interest at all right now, then perhaps that means there might be something better suited to your personality? You don't need to force yourself into anything just yet! If possible, why not take some time off from making career decisions altogether? Maybe go travel or try out different things related to creative entrepreneurship first, which will help you figure out exactly where your passions lie before choosing any career path in particular. Or maybe do an online course on Etsy or Skillshare to try something new and see if you enjoy it.

1. It's not all about the money

Your career choice should never be about money. We all know that creative jobs are often lower-paying (at least at first) than business or office work, which is why many multi-passionate creatives are hesitant and hope they'll eventually "like" the regular job they hate... But there are other reasons to choose a specific career path beyond financial considerations. If you think your talents and skills can make an impact in one way or another, then perhaps it's worth giving it a shot! It doesn't matter whether you're making lots of money out of your passion right now; what matters is that you're being true to yourself and how valuable what you have to offer genuinely is (for whatever reason). 

For instance, I remember struggling with how much to charge for my coaching services when I first started. The investment for working with me was lower than today's, but I was okay with that. I was learning, doing what I loved, and helping creatives get unstuck at the same time. If financial considerations had directed my decisions, I might not have become a coach at all because it meant I initially had to take a financial step back (which is often the case when we start something new).

Making the right career choice is never about choosing one career path over another because of its temporary benefits - it's all about which career choice fits who you are as a person and where your passion lies! So don't stress yourself out trying to find the perfect career path immediately; instead, focus on figuring out what makes you happy first before making any big decisions. It doesn't matter whether the money comes into play when deciding on creative entrepreneurship projects, at least not initially or not always; what matters is that you allow yourself to explore your full potential by doing what you love.

2. You don't need to find that one unique and perfect job 

Trying to find the perfect job will keep you stuck. Instead, it's better to think like an entrepreneur. The whole idea of business is to be flexible, pivot and change when needed, and adapt fast. Entrepreneurs know that they might have to change directions in mid-air, that they might have to rethink their business at some point, and they're okay with that.

I see so many clients struggle with career anxiety. They're constantly stressing themselves out by trying to find the perfect, most convenient job. My advice to them is always: to pick something and get started. When they do, they immediately gain clarity, usually about what they don't like :) But that's precisely the point. You cannot think yourself into the career or business of your dreams; you have to go out and try something! 

3. Don't forget about entrepreneurship

As a multi-passionate creative, the stuff you're made of suits an entrepreneurial path almost perfectly! Your hunger for knowledge, your capacity to learn new things quickly, your flexibility, and how you connect dots. All of this makes you an ideal entrepreneur. 

When I coach multi-passionate creatives, one of the first things they tell me is all the ideas they have for their own business. But the problem is that they never act on them. They tell me how much they want to do it but then don't take action for another year or so. My advice here again is simple: start something! Try out one of those ideas and see what happens :) I've never had a client regretting doing so!

4. Start already! With one thing! Please do it now!

Don't wait any longer. You cannot think yourself into a new career path; you have to go out and do it. So please do it now! Pick something from your long list of interests and ideas and run with it for a while, see where it takes you.

I know it's not easy; I know it can be stressful and cause a lot of anxiety. But if you stop trying to find the perfect career path and instead focus on figuring out what makes you happy first and trying some of those choices out, you'll be well on your way to a blissful and rewarding career!

If there's one tip I can give you that works, it's this: stop worrying and start doing. Now.

Do you feel stuck in your career?

I can help! My specialty is to help creatives and entrepreneurs create careers and businesses that they love. I've worked with over 100 clients, helping them find their passion, get clear on what they want to do next, build a plan of action to make it happen, and take the steps necessary to move forward. You don't have to stay where you are or settle for something less than what you want out of life. Let me show you how we can work together so that you can finally start living the life of your dreams!

If this sounds like something that resonates with you, then let's talk about working together. Click below to schedule your free session now!

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10 easy tricks to overcome indecision and move forward with your life

Over the weekend a dear friend of mine confined in my about how she currently questions everything in her life, making her indecisive about what actions to take to move forward. What ensued was an openhearted discussion about fear, self-confidence, and breaking free from attractive cages. This post aims to further the conversation I had with my friend, and to offer her – and you – some practical ideas on how to overcome indecision to move forward with your life.

But what is indecision, really?

At its core indecision is the inability to make a decision quickly. Often, as is the case with my friend, indecision shows itself as a constant, and recurring questioning of options, without ever (or at least it seems that way) being able to come up with a decision.

The thing about constantly questioning your options is that it all comes down to fear. Yes, I know, here’s the f-word again, but based on my own life, and the work I do with my clients, that’s what I’ve come to believe. When it comes to indecision, the most basic fear is that you’ll make a wrong decision. But that’s not it, really. The fundamental fear that lies behind you being afraid of making a wrong decision, is that you won’t be able to handle the result of what you’ve decided to go for.

From my experience, it’s this fear of losing control that keeps most people from making decisions in the first place.

So here’s clue #1: Indecision is a fear-based reflex, related to:

• Feelings if insecurity.

• Not knowing what you really want.

• Wanting to please others, thus taking them too much into account.

• Rationalizing what you intuitively know to be true.

In all the examples above, fear lies at the root of your indecision.

• What if I make a mistake?

• What if I choose the wrong thing?

• What if people don’t like what I choose?

• What if my intuition is wrong? (I particularly love this one, oh dear, your intuition is almost NEVER wrong!)

As we’ve seen above, the fear of losing control is what really drives us to not make any decisions at all. And the reason why we fear losing control is because we don’t trust ourselves enough to actually handle our lives, and whatever might come our way. So we prefer to stick to the status quo, to what we know, to the life we have rather than the one we know we want to be living. My advice is: don’t. Don’t settle for the attractive cage that you know, but rather go out and seize the life that is yours to live.

There is a pertinent question that can help you to overcome your questioning and tetanizing fear of losing control.

A question that can help open the door of the attractive cage you’ve been living in for so long: What would you choose, if I could promise you the outcome would be all that you dreamed it to be?

Other ways of asking this question include (but are not limited to):

What would you choose:

• If you knew you could not get hurt?

• If you knew you could do it?

• If you knew you could not disappoint anyone?

• If you knew it would end well?

• If you knew it would make you happy?

• If you knew it was the right decision? (yeah, I know, this one’s the kicker)

Well… my guess is, you would simply go out and do it, wouldn’t you?

Clearly, what’s keeping you from making a decision is not your incapability to make sound decisions, or know what’s best for you for that matter, but your lack of trust in yourself.

This brings us to clue #2: Indecision is related to your level of self-confidence.

Bottom line: you don’t trust yourself enough to pull it off (whatever off is), and so you do nothing (or think you do nothing, because staying put is a decision too, more about that below), and you:

• stick to the safe option you’re familiar with,

• or go with what you think people expect you to do,

• or simply do what you think you can handle.

But by doing this you avoid going after what you really want.

In my opinion indecision is a clever way to mask our fears. Basically we can do two things when faced with a decision: we can decide something, or we can pretend we’re not deciding, which – newsflash! – is a decision too, and a terrible one at that. Indecision is giving away the power you hold over your life, giving up on designing it, letting other people take charge of your happiness.

But what if I don’t know what I want?

When I talk about indecision to my clients, I often get a “but I don’t know what I want” in return, claiming that that’s the reason why they’re not choosing, and not the fear of making a bad decision. When they tell me this, I simply have to call them out on it, by asking them the following question:

If you were the only person on the planet, would you know what you wanted?

And guess what? Every single one of my clients is crystal clear on what they want, when they’re the only ones inhabiting the planet!

Now the inquisitive mind must ask… but why is that?

It all comes down to the same thing: self-confidence. When my clients imagine they’re the only ones around, there is no fear of being judged, and so no issue with going for what they want. And the more they imagine themselves in action, the more confident they get.

Enter clue #3: Indecision will only be cured by taking action.

Just like the story of the chicken and the egg, who came first: the decision or indecision? We usually have it all backwards: we think the fear comes first, and when we’ll be sure about what to do next the fear will go away. But the reality is we have to act first, only then will we be able to overcome our indecision. I know it sounds and feels so counter-intuitive, but it simply is the truth.

So now that you know where all this questioning comes from…

10 Easy Tricks To Overcome Indecision And Move Forward With Your Life

• #1. Build up your self-confidence: as we’ve seen above, indecision and lack self-confidence go hand in hand. The more you trust yourself, and know that you can handle whatever comes next, the less indecisive you’ll be (and the less fears you’ll have for that matter!).

• #2. Trust your intuition: she usually knows best, and will lead you towards what is good for you. Try and follow your gut feeling whenever possible, instead of waiting for the right decision to show itself.

• #3. Don’t worry about making mistakes: you will never know for sure that a decision is the right one until you make it. By being OK with making mistakes, you’ll allow yourself the flexibility to not know everything for sure before taking action, which will eventually help you to move forward in life much faster!

• #4. Beware of attractive cages: it’s so easy to accept the status quo, especially when the situation you’re in feels safe, and familiar. But how attractive that cage might be, it’s still a cage. Don’t let fear make you settle for less than what you really want, instead use your fear as a signpost that there’s something for you out there.

• #5. Don’t think too much: this is related to trusting your intuition. The more you allow your rational mind to weigh your options, the less likely you’ll be to overcome your indecision.

• #6. Talk to people: indecision can often be nipped in the butt by gaining knowledge. Make sure you talk to people, and ask as many questions as you can about the options you’re weighing against each other. A word of caution here though: only ask advice from positive people that are knowledgeable about the subject matter! There is nothing to gain from asking your overprotective mom, or your doomsday prepping roommate.

• #7. Don’t wait for others to decide for you: very often indecision leads to giving away our power to someone else. We wait, and hope that situations will improve on their own. You have to realize that you’re always in control, and that nobody can choose for you. Keeping this in mind will ease your indecisiveness, because who wants to wait around for what will never come?

• #8. What’s the worst that could happen? I really love this question, and serve it to almost all of my clients when fear and indecision creeps in. It’s also my go-to mantra when I start to feel out of control, and lack the confidence to move ahead with a decision. Almost always, the worst possible outcome is far better than not deciding anything at all. Try it out for yourself, you’ll see.

• #9. Know that indecision is a decision too: a true a-ha moment right there. Yes, not doing anything, is actually doing something. Knowing this allows a lot of people to actually move on, and make a decision. Because indecision in and of itself is really the weakest position you can find yourself in, isn’t it?

• #10. So just do something: doing something beats doing nothing any time. As we’ve seen above, the only way to move past your fears is to take action. The same goes for your indecision. Very often, choosing something, even if it’s the wrong decision, will allow you to move forward and choose the right one down the line.

I hope these thoughts help you move past indecision. Just so you know, this post was first published as an email to subscribers of my bi-weekly Love Notes. If you enjoy reading my work and want to stay informed, you can sign up here.