Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Rediscovering the Excitement in Your Work: A Quick Guide for Bored-Out Creatives
Do you dread going to work in the morning? Do you feel less and less passionate about your job? Do you find yourself daydreaming about a different career path? Are you bored out of your mind just by thinking about your day ahead? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, this quick guide is for you.
As a creative person, I understand the struggle of feeling uninspired and unfulfilled at work, especially when you think your skills and talents are underutilized. This can lead to burnout, which can affect your productivity, mental health, and, even worse, sometimes bore-out.
What is bore-out? And are you suffering from it?
Bore-out is a state of chronic boredom and disengagement at work, which can be just as damaging, if not more, than burnout. Many of the creative generalists and entrepreneurial clients I coach suffer from it. It's characterized by a lack of motivation, boredom, and apathy toward work. Unlike burnout, where you may feel overwhelmed with too much work, bore-out stems from not having enough challenging tasks or opportunities to use your skills. This can result in a loss of meaning and purpose in your job.
If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing bore-out. Of course, leaving your job for something more exciting is always an option. But perhaps you don't want to go because you love what you do and simply lost the spark.
When 'settling' becomes the norm
Sadly, for many people, work is something they endure rather than enjoy. Gradually accepting boring jobs is a silent killer of professional dreams. But why do so many people let this happen? The golden cage, of course, but also the fear of change, a desire for financial stability, or simply not knowing what you want can keep you stuck in the status quo.
The problem with staying in a job that bores the living life out of you is that it has a ripple effect. It impacts your career, mental health, and personal relationships. In my practice, this is often a sign that my client's professional life needs a radical shift - or a career redesign.
The problem is, how do you find inspiration again when you're bored out of your mind? How do you avoid falling into the same trap in the future?
Understanding the spark you've lost
Before I share a few tips with you on rediscovering work excitement, it's essential to understand the reasons behind job bore-out. These can stem from various issues, such as:
Monotony: When your job doesn’t challenge you, and the tasks are repetitive and not complex enough, it’s easy to become disinterested.
Mismatch of skills: If you feel that your talents or skills aren’t being utilized, this can lead to a sense of your capabilities being underutilized, which in turn causes you to feel unfulfilled and bored.
Lack of autonomy: When you don’t have control over your work or decision-making, it can make you feel like you’re not contributing to anything meaningful. This lack of agency can lead to feeling disengaged and uninspired.
Lack of growth opportunities: Without clear paths for career advancement or learning new skills, you may feel stuck in a dead-end job. This can lead to a lack of motivation and interest in your work.
There are more reasons to feel bored at work, but these are some of the more important ones. Now that you understand some of the causes let’s explore a few ways to reconnect with our work and find joy in it again.
How do you rediscover the excitement in your work?
To escape the bore-out cycle without having to quit your job, here are a few tips to help you rekindle your passion and creativity:
Identify the root cause: The first step in overcoming bore-out is understanding why you feel this way. This is usually a long and reflective step when I work with clients. Is it because of a lack of challenging tasks? Are you not using your skills to their full potential? Do you feel like your talents are being wasted? Is your manager not providing enough guidance or support? Once you identify the root cause, finding a solution will be easier.
Set new challenges for yourself: If your job has become too routine and mundane, try setting new challenges yourself. This could be taking on new projects, learning new skills, or volunteering for tasks outside your usual responsibilities. You can do this by yourself or include your colleagues or manager. This will not only make your work more interesting, but it can also help you develop new skills and grow professionally.
Take breaks and disconnect: Being constantly connected to work can lead to burnout or boredom. Taking breaks throughout the day and completely disconnecting from work during your off-hours is essential. This allows your mind to rest and recharge, leading to increased creativity and productivity when you get back to work. Set boundaries and stick to them, even if it means saying "no" to extra work or checking emails during off-hours.
Find meaning in your work: People become bored with their jobs because they don't see the purpose or impact of their work. This is also one of the main reasons people lose motivation. To counter this, try to find meaning in your job by connecting it to a larger goal or purpose. Understand how your role contributes to the well-being of others and the company's mission and vision. Knowing that your work has an impact can help motivate you and make you feel more fulfilled.
Seek out new opportunities: If you've been in your current job for a while, it's natural to feel like you've hit a dead end. However, there are always opportunities for growth and advancement if you seek them out. This could be through networking events, professional development courses, or even applying for new positions within the company. Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and take on new challenges. It can help reignite your passion for your job and open up new career opportunities.
I help creatives and entrepreneurs get unstuck. This often means that with the work we do together, they transition into new and better careers. But the pursuit of an exciting career doesn't mean you have to quit your job. The path to fulfillment and professional success is not often linear, and change is rarely immediate. Figuring out what a great career is for you is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth.
By recognizing the reasons behind your work boredom, addressing your fears and blocks, and actively looking for renewed excitement, you can find joy and purpose in your work again. So keep going. And if you need help, I'm here for you!
Feeling stuck in a career that no longer excites you?
You're not alone. Many creatives and entrepreneurs are looking for a spark in their professional lives. That's why I offer a free coaching session for individuals just like you who are ready to break free from the monotony and rediscover what it means to be truly engaged and fulfilled in your work.
Don't settle for boredom. Explore your potential, redefine your path, and find a new spark in your career. This is your chance to get personalized guidance, gain clarity, and take the first step toward a job that not only pays the bills but excites and inspires you!
Breaking Up With Your Job: When Passion Burns Out and It's Time to Move On
Even though I've been an entrepreneur for over two decades, I know what it feels like to break up with a job. I've had my share of corporate projects and freelancing contracts that stopped lighting me up after a while, and that I simply had to leave.
Leaving a job is a lot like breaking up with someone. At first, it's all fireworks and heart-eyed emojis. But slowly, the magic fizzles, and you can't remember why you fell in love. Maybe your boss is the clingy type who texts you at 3 a.m. with “emergencies,” or perhaps your once-thrilling work has become as monotonous as folding laundry. Whatever the reason, the spark is gone, and you're left wondering how to part ways with a job that you once thought would be your happily ever after.
But, my fellow career explorers and relentless seekers of inspiration and fulfillment, this isn't the end. It's a crossroads that can lead to something new and wonderful. Like a perfect storm, this might just be the nudge you need to guide you toward a path that aligns with you more. The reason you don't like your job anymore might not be because the job has changed. Perhaps it's you who has outgrown it.
I'm here to guide you through the steps of such professional uncoupling. In this article, let's explore how to break up with your job when the passion is gone so you can move forward with your career and find a job you love.
Recognizing it's time for a professional goodbye
When I was in my twenties, I thought I had it all figured out. I was passionate about my work and believed that passion would never fade. I was building my web agency and enjoyed every part of it. But as the years went on, I felt like something was missing. The passion I once had for my work was gone. Then, my parents passed away five weeks apart from each other. It was the final straw that made me realize that I needed a change.
It doesn't need to be a dramatic event like I had to go through, but at some point, something will make us face the cold truth that the job that once felt so exciting now feels like a dead weight chained to our ankles. It's not an easy feeling, especially when you've dedicated time and energy, years in my case, to building something for yourself.
As I mentioned in my book, the breaking point is different for everyone. Maybe your creativity has suffered, or your once-quiet office has become a crowded tearoom where you can't find a minute to think. There could be a number of reasons or a single, clear sign telling you that it's time to move on. The important thing is to listen.
Love the job you're with, or move on?
I know it's a cliché, but there's truth to the saying, "Find a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life." The question is, was that job truly love for you or was it more like a fling? There's no shame in wanting more or seeking a career you're passionate about. You want it in your romantic relationships and deserve it in your professional life, too.
So what now? After you realize that you no longer love the job you're in, where do you go from there? Do you stay or do you go? Thinking about starting over or making a significant career change can be scary and overwhelming. But remember, this is your life, and you deserve to live it fully and passionately. Never let fear stop you from doing something you want to do, and certainly don't let it keep you from pursuing your dreams.
Rekindling the spark - or is it too late?
Sometimes, the love isn't over; it's just hiding, buried under the routine of the daily grind. Perhaps all you need is a little counseling and a professional therapist for your work life. I always tell clients that, before they take the leap, they should reach out to mentors, work with a career coach, and look for opportunities within their current company that may reignite the passion they once felt.
It’s essential to figure out if it's helpful to do the work to fix what's wrong or if the issue is simply irreparable.
The road to career satisfaction is not always straight - often, we take detours. But with perseverance and a willingness to figure out what's wrong, sometimes (not often), it's possible to rekindle the spark you a job you once loved.
Crafting your career path - the friendly breakup
As someone who has been helping creatives and entrepreneurs get unstuck for a decade now, I know how creating a plan for the next steps in your career can feel daunting, like when you decide to "put yourself out there" after a breakup. It’s exciting, invigorating, and scary, especially when you've been in a job that is stressful or bores you out for a long time.
You can start by creating a career roadmap of where you want to be in six months, a year, and three years. What do these milestones look like? What industry or roles are you looking for? You'll need some clarity to take the first step towards your ideal job. (If you need some guidance with this, I can help!)
Make sure that, as you go through with this breakup, you do it amicably. This is the best advice my father ever gave me. Burning bridges means you can never cross the river again, but in our professional lives, the river has more twists and turns than a Tom Clancy novel. Respect your current role, boss, and your colleagues (even if they've been crappy to you, don't leave slamming doors if you can). Give notice, be open about your reasons for leaving, and be willing to help make the transition as smooth as possible (expect if they've been real d*cks with you). How you exit will influence the next chapters of your career, and you want those stories to be ones of grace and dignity.
The post-breakup glow-up - finding that new job!
When you've been under pressure for a long time, knowing you need to do something about your situation while being stuck in overthinking and hesitating, finally breaking up can be liberating. Believe me, I know. I have a few projects (and exes, ahum) that I lingered with for way too long. When you finally cut ties, it's the perfect time to redefine yourself and address the parts of your professional life that no longer serve you.
Take your time with the healing process; take the time to learn and grow from this transition. Use this time to reflect on what you truly want in your career and take steps toward achieving those goals. It could be taking a course, networking with people in the industry you want to enter, or updating your LinkedIn profile.
Remember to stay true to yourself throughout this process. Don't let outside pressure and influences keep you from pursuing what truly makes you happy. This is your journey, and embracing change and finding your passion is a rebellious act that will ultimately lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
The role and benefits of a career coach
Trying to figure out your next career move alone can be challenging. This is where a career coach - like Moi - can play the role of your professional wingman, your relationship advisor for the professional world. A good and experienced career coach can help you assess your skills and passions, identify your career goals, and help create a strategy to find a job you'll love.
As a career coach, I guide my clients in times of uncertainty and change. My path to becoming a career coach wasn't a straight line; it resulted from my journey, trials, lessons, and a desire to change careers and help others do the same. I understand the courage it takes to question the familiar, to stand at the cliff of your future, and dare to dream of more. My approach is deeply personal because I believe each person is unique, and no single blueprint can fit us all.
If you want to know more, I poured everything I learned in the decade I've been doing this work in my book called "Get Unstuck!" Click here to get your copy now.
If you're looking for more personalised support, we can work together one-on-one to explore not just the "what" of your next steps but the "why" and the "how," creating a strategy that aligns with what you want and your deepest values and aspirations. It's more than finding a job; it's about imagining and creating a career that fills your life with purpose and joy.
That job you love is waiting for you, I know because I've been helping people just like you find theirs for ten years now, and I'm here to help you find it too!
Ready to break up with your job and find the career of your dreams?
Many clients experience fear, doubt, and hesitation when considering a career change. But with the right support and guidance, you can break free from the comfortable but unfulfilling job and find a career that truly makes you happy.
Book a free call with me - your career wingman - today and take the first step towards your dream career!
How to Stay Focused on Your Goals When Life Gets Busy
As I'm in the midst of launching nuumani.com, my new platform for coaches, I'm reminded about how life is nothing short of a whirlwind. As I juggle coaching clients, virtual book event preparations, relocation, and launching a new venture, I regularly find myself overwhelmed and wondering why I decided to do these things again.
In the busyness of pursuing my goals - the ones that shape my dreams and aspirations - meaning gets lost in the shuffle, and with it, the focus I need to stay on track. I'm not the only one experiencing this. Most of my clients share with me how they set out to do something, get excited and determined, and then life happens, and it quickly erodes their focus and drive.
The challenge then becomes to set goals and stay on track to achieve them - easier said than done.
For most professionals today, whether entrepreneurs, career professionals, creatives, or artists, the quest for balance and sustained motivation is not just an abstract concept but a practical need for personal and professional growth. In this article, we'll explore strategies for maintaining focus on our goals, even when times get too busy to take a breath.
The role of accountability in achieving your goals
As a coach with a decade of experience helping people get unstuck, I know accountability often plays an important part in helping someone achieve their goals. When we're held responsible for our actions, whether through a mentor, coach, or peer, we tend to perform better. But accountability is not just a tool for performance or productivity – it's a support system, a structure that helps to anchor our goals within the framework of our daily lives.
However, successful accountability structures are not one-size-fits-all. It's important to create an accountability system that will work for you by finding the methods and people that motivate you without adding undue stress or pressure to your already busy schedule. Regular check-ins, shared milestones, and even social commitments tied to our goals can all help us stay on track and turn our dreams into concrete, actionable plans.
The importance of clarity
One of the central pieces of my work is about helping clients gain clarity about what they really want. When we're stuck, we can only arrive at unclear or overly vague goals. A lack of specificity leaves room for ambiguity and excuses. When life gets busy, having a clear direction allows you to adapt and prioritize, ensuring that no matter what's blocking you, you're always trying to move forward.
The first step to figuring out what you really want is to consider both your long-term vision and short-term goals. This exercise encourages you to be honest about what truly matters to you, allowing for a better understanding of how different aspects of your life fit together. With this mindset, you can then set specific, achievable objectives that align with your purpose – and use them as markers on the road to achieving success. A tip I share with all my clients - and something I do regularly - is to document your goals and progress, whether in a journal, vision board, or digital tool. This allows you to track your growth and stay accountable to yourself.
Sometimes, the most significant step towards achieving our dreams is simply taking the time to figure out what those dreams truly are. So take a moment to reflect on your values, passions and purpose, then set clear goals that align with them.
Finding balance and prioritizing self-care
In our fast-paced world, balance and self-care often take a backseat to professional and personal demands. Paradoxically, these elements are critical to sustained focus and high productivity and performance. Neglecting our well-being can lead to many things, including burnout, which in turn can derail or halt even the most well-thought-out and planned goals.
Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it is strategic. It means setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and making time for the activities that recharge our batteries and inspire us. Finding balance is about recognizing that our goals are a part of our lives, not the entirety and that a holistic approach leads to greater long-term fulfillment. Especially when things get busy, blocking time in my calendar to do things just for myself has been a game-changer in maintaining balance and keeping momentum toward my goals.
The art of doing enough
The belief that every action must produce monumental results is a pervasive and destructive fallacy. In reality, daily, consistent effort often outweighs sporadic, intensive bursts. It's the art of doing enough - enough to push the needle forward, enough to maintain progress, and enough to remain engaged in the pursuit of your goals - that will ultimately make the difference.
This is the compound effect, where small actions, repeated over time, lead to significant results. Often, we underestimate the power of consistency and overlook the progress we make in our daily efforts. It also feels boring to many of us or not challenging enough to actually do. But herein lies the magic of it: you don't need to rush or do everything today; what you need is to build the habit of doing things steadily every day.
Trusting this process means letting go of perfectionism and celebrating each step forward, no matter how small. This mindset shift helps you stay motivated and committed to your goals for the long run. It's also a reminder that balance is not about doing everything at once but rather finding what works for you and sticking with it consistently.
So take a deep breath and let go of the pressure to constantly strive for more. Instead, focus on being present in your journey, embracing each stage as it comes, and taking small steps towards your goals every day.
Deadlines and urgency
I hate deadlines, and I love them. They're like a double-edged sword - on the one hand, they push me to get things done and give me a sense of urgency, but on the other hand, they can also cause me immense stress and anxiety.
Deadlines provide structure and motivation but can also induce unhealthy amounts of pressure. Let's not forget all deadlines are man-made! So, somewhere, someday, someone decided that this specific date and time was the deadline. Achieving this thing by then is not set in stone or predetermined by fate.
It's important to remember that your goals are yours, and there is no "right" or "wrong" timeline to achieve them. Instead of letting deadlines dictate your progress, focus on creating a routine and committing to consistent actions toward your goals. It's important to regularly review the urgency of our goals and align deadlines accordingly. Not everything we want to do needs to be done now, and setting unrealistic timelines based on external pressures can lead to missed opportunities, failed attempts at creating something great, and a massive amount of frustration.
The problem of all-or-nothing thinking
I used to be such an all-or-nothing person. If I couldn't do it or have it all right now, I wasn't interested in having or doing it at all! This mindset is a common theme in my clients that often leads to paralysis and inaction. It certainly was for me. When we perceive any imperfection from our ideal path as a failure, we set ourselves up for disappointment and, ultimately, a failure because we give up on our goals. Recognizing this false idea is the first step toward a healthier, more pragmatic approach to goal-setting.
To combat all-or-nothing thinking, it's important to reframe our accomplishments and mistakes as lessons and opportunities for growth. Small setbacks should not overshadow the progress we've made or the resilience we've shown. Additionally, not being able to do everything "right now" does not mean we can't still move forward and make progress. Whether it's taking small steps, adjusting deadlines, or seeking support from others, there are always options to do something productive toward our goals without falling into the trap of perfectionism.
At the end of the day, achieving your goals is a journey rather than a destination. You'll face obstacles and setbacks along the way, but that does not diminish the value of your efforts. Just keep going!
Transitioning from goals to actionable tasks
One of the biggest mistakes I see clients make is putting goals on their to-do lists instead of actionable tasks. Goals are great, but they can often feel too daunting and nebulous to tackle when you're sitting down to work. That's why it's important to break them down into specific, achievable tasks.
For example, instead of putting "write a book" or "website" on our to-do list, we can break it down into smaller tasks such as "write 500 words per day," "edit one chapter per week," or "get my about page done and publish it online."
Goals and tasks are not the same, and the distinction between the two is crucial. While a goal is an endpoint, a task is a step - a concrete and often immediate action that moves us toward that end.
I do this on a weekly basis on Sunday afternoon when I plan out the week ahead. I look at my goals and write out small, clearly defined tasks that I'm capable of doing in two hours or less. It's through the completion of these tasks that I've achieved all my goals - all my goals, no exception.
Remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint
In my eagerness to achieve, I often took a sprinter's approach at the start of a marathon project. What I've learned is that long-term success requires pacing myself and working in a sustainable way. It's about understanding that the pursuit of my goals is not a race to be won but a continuous effort to be enjoyed and maintained while I'm working at it.
By adopting a marathon mindset, it's easier to work with consistent effort and patient progress. You can recognize that each step, no matter how small, is a victory in itself and an integral part of the larger narrative of your personal and professional development and success.
In conclusion, the pursuit of our goals is an ongoing practice that requires adaptability, resilience, and a diligent commitment to personal growth. By nurturing a supportive environment, maintaining a clear vision, and sustaining a balanced approach, we can overcome life's busyness and achieve what we set out to do.
Remember, the secret to success lies not in doing it all at once but in doing enough consistently and with purpose. I believe in you!
Is life sidetracking your goals?
Don't worry, you're not alone. And I can help! Together, we'll build a personalized strategy to keep you on track toward achieving your goals while also taking care of yourself. Let's get started today!
Schedule a free coaching session to get started. Keep going. Keep growing. You got this!
How to Create a Portfolio Career as a Creative Generalist
Throughout my life, I never set out to stay doing the same thing for too long. It’s always been my dream to live in NYC, for instance, and while it might not happen for a while, it makes me think about how I organize my life and career into buckets and how unusual that is for entrepreneurs. Most people I meet think they have to stick to one career for their entire lives, but really, we have the power to change and evolve whenever we want.
In my coaching business, I hear all the time how my clients are being pulled in all these different directions and they don’t understand how to rationalize their innate need to do different things, take on different roles, with society’s need to settle them into a specific box. For instance, doctors aren’t supposed to be coffee shop owners who sit on the board for toy companies. And entrepreneurs who own companies that distribute luxury amenities aren’t also supposed to have kitchen cabinets importing businesses…right?
Well, why not? Why can’t we do everything we dream of doing and every opportunity that comes our way that lights a spark inside of us?
Here’s the truth: we can. And I help clients do it every day.
Take my own story for instance, my career portfolio includes business and career coaching, writing books, speaking engagements, investing in small businesses, and creating new businesses - like my conference in the fall and my soon-to-be-launched Creative Generalist Network (more to come on that below!). And before that, even though I went to university to pursue a masters’ degree in philosophy and ended up working for, and founding, several web agencies.
The path we are on right now doesn’t have to be the path we stay on forever. There is no shame in jumping around - in fact, it’s empowering. This need for variety is what makes us creative generalists. We were never meant to fit into the classic 9-to-5 life, and when we fully embrace our creative generalism, we have a leg up when it comes to pursuing our dream career paths!
So how do we pursue a portfolio career that bolsters our ability to excel as creative generalists?
Various income streams. Have various income streams so that as you flow between the different roles, you never have to sacrifice your wants for your needs. You might try adding to your earned income with investments, online courses that require upfront effort to create but quickly produce passive income, and freelance consulting. However you choose to gain income, there’s power in having multiple streams at your disposal.
Don’t choose, combine. Stop trying to choose a particular career or project, learn to combine them. The beauty of a portfolio career is that there are no rules. You can do anything you want! (This is one of my superpowers. Let’s talk if you want help with this!)
Talent stack. Figure out your talents and skills and start stacking them to create a sweet spot that will raise your value in whatever field you’re interested in. For instance, if you are a copywriter who is also an audio engineer, pitch your talent to a podcast production company looking for a marketing guru who can also clean and treat the sound on the rough recordings.
Learn new skills. Are you a web designer who’s always been interested in teaching ballet classes to preschoolers? Or a college student studying molecular biology who also wants to write fiction novels about underwater gateways to other planets? Whatever it is that you think you might enjoy, go after it. Never stop learning. Go where your inspiration takes you!
Stay open-minded. You never know what you might learn from other people’s perspectives. Staying open-minded allows you to connect easily with others, building networks, and furthering your work and life in ways you might not expect.
Find a work-life balance. While individuals in mono-type roles don’t have to worry about their work invading their personal lives, creative generalists do. Our work is so varied and flexible, that sometimes that flexibility works against us, allowing business to bleed into our personal lives. The best way to combat this is to create a work-life balance that is sustainable to maintain.
Embrace change. Instead of trying to fit into a particular role, embrace jumping from role to role. The beauty of a portfolio career is that you don’t have to stick with the traditional career path, which includes sticking it out in a business or job you hate. Feel free to shake things up!
Find your community. Creative generalists tend to be isolated because of the solitary nature of their careers and work versatility, but finding your community is the best way to help you succeed. As a creative generalist myself, I created the Creative Generalist Network to help my clients and readers engage with like-minded individuals who will help them find inspiration and opportunities to grow.
Understand your why. Many people fall into a portfolio career, while others plan extensively for them. Either way, you should know why you are pursuing it now. Do you want more flexibility? Do you want to pursue every idea you’ve ever had? By knowing your why, you will be able to identify your creative generalist values more easily, which will in turn help you create the life you’ve always dreamed of!
Keep at it. Don’t give up when things get tough or confusing. Keep going and know that it will happen. The roles will come. The income will flow. And the fulfillment and success will bloom.
Building a portfolio career - like we generalists like to call it - is a lot easier than you think. There’s no need to toil away at work you don’t enjoy, or to sift through ideas and goals until you find the one most acceptable by the internet. You can have multiple passions or interests, pursue them all, and be better for it. It’s a lot more beneficial to your soul! When our work is aligned with our hopes, dreams, wants and needs, we can achieve anything.
Take small steps everyday and before you know it, the life you want will be right in front of you.
Scared to embrace your portfolio career?
Stepping outside the “norm” can feel overwhelming for anyone, especially if you’re a creative generalist with a streak of perfectionism. But pursuing your portfolio career is less about nonconformity and more about embracing who you are inside.
You were never meant to sit in a job or career you don’t enjoy. It’s time to follow that little voice inside you that tells you it wants more, it needs more…it deserves more. So stop limiting yourself. In our coaching sessions, I not only help you take that first step towards the life you actually want, but I help you build a roadmap to the exact spot you want to land!
How to Improve Your Life and Business
Have you ever thought about how incredibly limiting the word “but” is? It’s like a stop sign, halting us on our journey. Even when we are agreeing with someone, the moment “but” comes out of our mouths, it negates everything we just said.
“You’re right, but…”
“Okay, I will, but…”
“Yes, I will clean that up, but…”
“But” is a fatalistic word. When you use it, you redirect the conversation from what could be to what cannot. Unconsciously, when we “yes, but”, we give into the fear and hesitation that are holding us back, without realizing it. When you throw a “but” at something, you’ve predetermined that some outcome is inevitable. You stop yourself from following through. “Yes, buts” are excuses wrapped up to look like agreements. That’s why they’re so important to spot.
“Yes, and” on the other hand is the key to infinite possibilities.
Every few years, I try to do something to get out of my comfort zone and push my limits. So a few years ago, I enrolled in an improv class. Anyone who knows me personally knows that this was VERY outside of my comfort zone. I’m an introvert and love my alone time, so the idea of taking this class was quite overwhelming, and it did, admittedly, take a while for me to get into it. But once I did, I was hooked!
During this class, I was taught the concept of “yes, and.” In improv, “yes, and” keeps the bit going, keeping the theater goers, and the cast members, on their toes, pushing the story along. By using this word, cast members are fostering cooperation and communication between one another, rather than shutting down, and, in turn, they’re able to build trust with one another quickly. Which is what makes the whole process fun for them and the theater goer.
Now, what if we take that model and apply it to business and life? In business, “yes, and” actually encourages you to listen and be receptive to the ideas of others. It creates trust between parties and encourages you to try out different strategies for success. Even if you’re a solo entrepreneur without a team, this method will inhibit you from making excuses for yourself and pushes you to stay open to the possibilities that surround you.
Think about it! When you’re trying to come up with a new client workflow, but you keep stopping yourself because of your fear of how long it will take to implement, you’re saying, “Yes, I agree I need a new workflow, but it will take too much time.” If you’re like me, you spiral and start thinking about all the things you will have to change, all the different systems you will have to implement, and how you are going to explain it to your clients. Doing so you create what I refer to as a “mountain”: an insurmountable melting pot of all the things that you believe need to happen before you can actually do the thing. That’s what “but” does to life, it creates mountains to climb instead of showing you a walkable path forward. But (pun intended) if we use the “yes, and” method, we are focusing on the end goal - having a streamlined workflow that will make our lives easier in the end.
Let me give you an example from my own business. In 2021, I decided to transfer my website over from one web host to another. This was a HUGE undertaking and one that I had been putting off for - literally - years. Instead of continuing to say, “yes I should do that, but the workload will be too much for me.” I thought, “yes I should do that, and I will start small.” It took me a while, but over the course of six months or so, I had moved everything over from Wordpress to Squarespace, including the manual transfer of 250 blog posts! - which has allowed me to improve my SEO and the performance of my website in such a way that allowed my coaching practice to grow exponentially - essentially improving my life and business.
Ready to trade your “buts” for “ands?” Here are my five best tips to start improv-ing your business and life, getting unstuck, and leaving yourself open for the possibilities that are just around the corner:
Commit to “yes, and.” from now on. It’s not enough to just say yes, you have to commit to it. Change your mindset for the long-term, make it a habit to avoid the word “but” as much as you can. .
Be part of the team. Listen to your teammates, whether they are your business partner, spouse, or children, with an open mind. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but you need to respect their suggestions and consider how they might work for your particular issue.
Be part of the solution. Don’t just ask questions and point out obstacles, instead share ideas and work on the solution with your team. Keep adding creatively to what you are building, and let flow and inspiration guide you.
Recognize that there are no mistakes, only opportunities. Some of the best ideas will come from accidents. If you say “but” to everything, you won’t give yourself the chance to experience new things - and fail at them. Failure deserves to be celebrated, AND to be learned from 🙂
Make sure your team has your back. Your team should be made up of people who will push you into taking new opportunities and trying out new strategies, rather than sitting back and letting you call all the shots. Even the best employers or business owners need a gut check from someone they trust.
Remember, these tips will also work easily for a solo entrepreneur without a team. Instead of focusing on collaborating with others, you are focusing on dropping your internal guards and learning to acknowledge what you really want out of your life and business. Do you want to work 60 hour weeks? Do you want to build in monthly retreats for yourself? Are there days you want to keep your children home from daycare? The “yes, and” method will help you lead you to greater self-trust and confidence, which will, infinitely, enhance your life and business.
The point of the “yes, and” method is to allow you to become more adaptable to change. The businesses that do the best work are the ones that can encourage new ideas and perspectives, stay flexible, and stay open to new possibilities.
The key is to treat your life and business like an improv class. Keep your heart and mind open to the suggestions of others - even your inner child - and before you say “yes, but,” think about what opportunities saying “yes, and” could bring about.
What would change? How would your life and business improve if you said yes and then became a part of the collective intelligence, of the amazing experience that is your life?
Afraid to say, “yes, and?”
It can be overwhelming to try new things or to follow through on elaborate plans. Saying, “yes, and” can be scary, but the possibilities it opens you and your business up to are worth the fear. I tell my clients all the time to just take a leap! One step in front of the other until you are out in open air, soaring above the ground.
You are capable of scary things and I’m here to help! In our coaching sessions, I help my clients identify the cliff, assemble the parachute, and take that first - or tenth - step towards the edge. We will review your “yes, buts,” and see how your life and business can improve with a little “yes, and” flip!
Navigating Entrepreneurial Growing Pains
Have you ever experienced that phenomenon where you are in a really slow season of your business, begging the Universe to provide you with more opportunities to grow, and then all of a sudden every available opportunity hits at once? You’re so excited for the chance to do business and show off your skills, so you say yes to everything, working yourself to the bone trying to hit all your deadlines on time, but then you finish and need a month or two of rest to recover.
Me too.
Since starting my entrepreneurial journey, I’ve had a hard time enjoying the fruits of all my hard work. I’d spend so much time setting up trying to drum up business without seeing any results. Then all of a sudden, the business opportunities would fly in and I’d be completely overwhelmed. I often felt like a chicken with my head cut off, running around with no sustainable strategy for how to get all this work done without burning out.
In the years since, I’ve tried many tools to get through these busy seasons without burning out, but the ones that worked the best, that have continued to work for me, are the ones that seem counterintuitive. When I’m in my busiest season, the best thing I can do is slow down and take a breath. Even now, when I’m busier than ever, I struggle to manage my time without taking a moment to pause and reflect.
By pausing, I’m able to create a strategy for this particular busy season that allows me to thrive. Here are a few of the strategies that help me manage the growing pains, both personally and in my business:
Identify your vision and mission. All businesses start with a vision, whether it’s a vision of your personal future or the future of your company. When we’re in our busy seasons, we can lose focus of what it is we set out to do when we started our entrepreneurial endeavors. By setting aside time to refocus on the purpose behind our businesses or projects, and what we hope to get out of it, we’re better able to set boundaries and stave off overwhelm.
Create your ideal team. When your business is growing and you’re struggling to meet demand, building a solid team around you is one of the best things you can do to alleviate stress. But great teams are not created accidentally. It takes time, patience, and a want to surround yourself with people you can effectively manage and interact with. That’s why it’s important to work on this when things aren’t busy. But if you haven’t, don’t fall into the trap of not doing it when you need it most! Once your ideal team is assembled, fervent energy manifests and stress dissipates, leaving only creative approaches to handling your growing pains.
Learn to delegate. Entrepreneurs and small business owners usually strike out on their own because they want to be their own boss. And when you have spent time working for yourself, doing all the tasks, and only having to hold yourself accountable, you can forget to delegate when things get busy. Look for support based on individual skills and expertise. Take advantage of it, let go of trying to do everything yourself, and the growing pains will be easier to navigate (and you’ll *finally* learn to delegate!).
Build strategy and SOPs early on. It’s important to have strategy and standard operating procedures in place prior to, or at least at the beginning of, the busy season to help prevent growing pains from stalling your work. I hired Alex recently, a new and amazing Chief of Staff. It's been a good year since I knew I had to find support to be able to navigate my growing business. So I’d started recording weekly marketing and communications tasks using Loom. When Alex came on board a few weeks ago, she had a (albeit small) library of SOPs to get her going.
Letting go of growth and being okay with it. There’s this pressure in business that makes it seem like every idea, every project, needs to be striving for maximum growth. But what if you don’t want maximum growth? What if you’re content with where your business is and not enjoying the experience of growing pains? It’s okay to sit back and relax into the comfort of where you are right now. Also, a company can be a company of one and be very successful. There’s an amazing book by Paul Jarvis that speaks exactly to that. If staying lean and free of the burden of growth is your goal, I recommend you read it.
Life as an entrepreneur is always exciting. There’s always an opportunity for growth, both personally and professionally. They give you a chance to dig deep and push yourself to identify what systems are working for you, what isn’t necessary for success, and help you see what needs to evolve and what can be let go.
Overwhelmed by too many opportunities?
The five steps above sound easy to some entrepreneurs, but for most they might find it difficult to take that pause. In the past 25 years, I’ve experienced similar issues, both in my own work and in my client’s. This is why I became a certified career and business coach: I wanted my clients to navigate building and growing businesses and projects with ease and flow, and without the overwhelm.
You deserve an opportunity to see your company grow and not feel overwhelmed or stressed. In our coaching sessions, we will dive deep into how to grow your business successfully, your vision and mission for it, and how we can get you there feeling confident and fulfilled.
How to Beat Imposter Syndrome When Thinking About Changing Careers.
"Will I be able to do this?", "I think I need to study for it first," "I don't think I have the right cv." I often hear similar questions and concerns when talking to clients about their career dreams in my coaching practice. Even though they have years of experience, a natural capacity for problem-solving, a hunger for knowledge, and no problems with learning new things, these bright, creative souls feel like they're not good enough to pursue what they truly want in their careers.
It's not uncommon. I've suffered from impostor syndrome my entire life. I still do, even though it's much better than it used to be. Perhaps you've experienced this too. Many of us feel insecure when thinking about changing careers. We doubt our abilities and are scared of failing at something that we don't know how to do yet. Some of this fear is a natural part of the process of change. Stepping into the unknown is always a little scary. It gets tricky when fear becomes a more pervasive, debilitating feeling of insecurity and lack of confidence. That's when imposter syndrome can set in. When this happens, we need to take a step back and reassess the situation because what stops us from changing careers is not a real lack of capabilities but imagined shortcomings.
What is impostor syndrome?
Impostor Syndrome is a phenomenon where we feel like impostors or frauds despite having achieved success. It's an internal experience of intellectual phoniness, an incapacity to internalize our accomplishments and all the goals we have already achieved. We second-guess ourselves, worry that people will soon find out that we're not good at what we say we are, that we're just frauds waiting to be discovered. People with impostor syndrome often attribute their successes to luck rather than skill, talent, or hard work. Impostor syndrome is more prevalent among women, but men experience it too. Recent studies show that it hits minority groups harder.
Impostor syndrome can cause feelings of fear, anxiety, and even depression if left unchecked. In my practice, I see how it stops many talented creatives and entrepreneurs from going after what they truly want. Some will go to great length in order to avoid “being found out”, like saying no to interesting opportunities or promotions. Instead of allowing themselves to explore their dreams, they stick to what's safe and familiar. Even then, they feel it's only a matter of time before they'll be found out.
Where does impostor syndrome come from?
Impostor Syndrome has much to do with the messages we grew up with and our internalized beliefs about ourselves. When we make significant changes in our lives, these negative messages can resurface as fear, doubt, and insecurity. It's possible that somewhere in our past, someone made us feel like we weren't good enough or capable of succeeding at something new.
Another reason we suffer from impostor syndrome is that we compare ourselves to others and think their success is the result of innate talent rather than the hard work they've put in. This can lead to a feeling of inadequacy, especially if we believe that others have it all figured out and don't suffer from the same stress and anxiety that we suffer from. They do, and they struggle just as much with impostor syndrome and all the feelings of self-doubt that come along with it.
There's nothing wrong with feeling scared or insecure when taking on something new, but you don't have to believe those negative thoughts that come with it. Instead, focus on the skills and experience you have and the exciting opportunities available to you. The most important thing is to recognize it for what it is: a feeling, not necessarily reality.
Another thing that I heard about impostor syndrome recently comes from Shahroo Izadi. In an interview with Steven Bartlett for The Diary of a CEO podcast, she had an exciting idea about where impostor syndrome comes from.
Shahroo is an anti-diet advocate and someone who has overcome an eating disorder and works with people suffering from addictions. People with mental illness, addiction, or an eating disorder have a lot of shame and guilt about their behavior. Because of this, it's difficult for them to acknowledge their professional accomplishments because many feel ashamed about so many other things that they won't allow themselves to internalize their capacities.
I want to extrapolate that based on what I see in my practice and the many stories from my own life and that of my clients. We all have things we're ashamed of and feel guilty about; it might be something we're doing - or thinking (and this is important) when nobody's watching, we all have secrets about who we truly think we are. And we’re absolutely terrified of people finding out!
We carry these secrets with us everywhere, and sometimes even if on a superficial level, we've achieved a lot, and everything looks great. Inside, it's hard for us to accept our successes because of these inner feelings of guilt and shame.
What's the impact of impostor syndrome on your career?
Impostor Syndrome can significantly impact your career. It can make you doubt yourself and prevent you from taking risks or trying new things. You might feel like you're not qualified for the job, that someone else could do it better than you, or that people will soon find out that you're not good at what you do.
On the other end of that spectrum, impostor syndrome can also force you to uphold the highest standards for yourself, to suffer from perfectionism, and to deliver more than is expected of you consistently. This, too, will be detrimental to your career success because it's unsustainable in the long term and because by being so perfect, you're making yourself indispensable in the position you're in. If there's one thing I know about career advancement is that you have to make yourself replaceable to be promoted, not irreplaceable.
How to beat imposter syndrome when you want to change careers?
The first step is recognizing what impostor syndrome looks like in your life. Are you an overachiever? A perfectionist with impossible standards to achieve? Ask yourself: What thoughts am I having? Are they coming from a place of self-doubt or fear? What do I need to feel confident and empowered to make this transition?
Once you have identified the root problems, start challenging those thoughts. Acknowledge your accomplishments and successes, even if they seem minor. Take inventory of your skills and experience. Think about the past jobs or projects you've completed, and list what knowledge or skills were gained from them. You may have more transferable skills than you think! Focus on what makes you unique and different from others in the field - anything from foreign language proficiency to specialized technical expertise.
Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or coach about what you're going through and get their perspective and advice. You don't need to doubt yourself alone; it's one of the reasons the impostor syndrome has so much power over us because we don't share about it enough! Be proactive and reach out for help; it could be the push you need to make the career transition.
Finally, take small steps toward your career goals. Try to do only a little at once - break it down into manageable tasks on which you can start taking action right away. Make sure you celebrate each milestone and reward yourself after completing each task. It's important to recognize and celebrate your progress; this will build your confidence and make it easier to take more risks and move forward with your career.
Start beating impostor syndrome right now.
One thing that I advise all my clients to keep is a "brag list." Since most of them suffer from impostor syndrome or feel like they're not good enough, this simple exercise isn't easy. It might be challenging for you too. On a piece of paper or a note on your computer or smartphone, make a list of all your accomplishments, big or small. Keep the list up to date by adding anything you achieve throughout your days and weeks, no matter how small.
You must list everything you've done. It could be anything from standing up for yourself, getting noticed during a meeting because you spoke up, talking about your business idea to someone, volunteering in the community, mastering a new skill or hobby, etc. Whenever impostor syndrome creeps in and doubts start to swirl around in your head, take a look at your list and remind yourself of all the success you've achieved. Celebrate these wins, and remember that you can keep achieving greatness!
Impostor Syndrome is a widespread experience. So many talented and capable people suffer from it, but it doesn't need to hold you back from changing careers or achieving your goals. You've got this! Good luck!
Tired of feeling like a fraud at work?
I understand the fear and anxiety you experience trying to figure out your career options. That’s why I offer private coaching specifically tailored to those who want to make a shift in their professional life. As a certified coach, I'm an expert in helping people beat imposter syndrome, build confidence and take control of their lives.
You deserve to pursue something that brings you satisfaction and happiness without feeling overwhelmed by self-doubt. Through this one-on-one coaching experience, gain access to tailored strategies and personalized advice that will give you the confidence needed to step into your dream job. No more second guessing yourself or comparing yourself to others!