Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
The Paralysis of Perfectionism: Why "Good Enough" is Actually Perfect
Many people find themselves stuck, unable to move forward in their personal or professional lives. I know because I see a lot of them in my coaching practice. They feel held back not by a lack of ability or opportunity, but by an internal struggle: perfectionism. While seemingly a virtue and a very helpful quality to achieve your goals, the quest for perfection and flawlessness often becomes an obstacle to your goal, leading to procrastination, self-doubt, and, ultimately, getting and staying stuck.
After a decade of supporting creative generalists and entrepreneurs to get unstuck, I know how perfectionism impacts our drive and productivity. So before even trying once again to "just do the thing," look inward. Are you setting yourself up for failure by creating unrealistic expectations? Are you holding yourself back through negative and destructive inner chatter? If that is the case, trying harder won't make you finally move forward. Instead, you must shift your mindset and mentally recalibrate: you must transform how you see perfection and understand it's an illusion created by fear to keep you safe.
What is Perfectionism, Really?
Perfectionism is often misunderstood as simply striving for excellence or having high standards. However, again, after doing this work for a decade, I can tell you it goes way beyond that. At its core, perfectionism is an all-or-nothing approach to life. It's the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable and dangerous. This mindset is paralyzing, as it sets an unattainable standard - a mountain, as I often tell my clients, that we expect to climb in one step!
The High Cost of Chasing Perfection
Perfectionism may manifest differently in different people, but it always comes with a heavy cost:
Procrastination: The fear of not meeting impossibly high standards leads to delaying tasks. First, you create the mountain in your mind. Then, you procrastinate because it's too big of a task to climb it all at once.
Analysis Paralysis: Relentless overthinking and analysis prevent taking action. You're always thinking, trying to figure out how to reach the top of the mountain, but never actually taking the first step.
Self-Sabotage: The inner critic undermines confidence, fostering a belief that you are simply not good enough. If you were, you'd be on that mountain top already!
Lack of Creativity: The pressure to create something perfect will damage your capacity for innovation and experimentation. Instead of figuring out how to make it to the top, you'll be stuck in a rut, coming up with underwhelming ideas, not knowing how to begin.
Burnout: Always creating mountains for yourself, aka unattainable goals, leads to exhaustion and a loss of passion. How could you not get tired, always giving yourself impossibly high climbing levels?
These are only a few of the many negative effects or causes of perfectionism. One that is particularly powerful in keeping us stuck is what we say to ourselves. Let's take a closer look at that inner voice and how it keeps us from achieving our goals.
The Inner Critic's Sabotage
A common theme among my clients is the destructive voice of the inner critic. This voice whispers nothing but doubts, focuses on flaws, and convinces us that our efforts will invariably fail. Some examples of how this inner critic keeps us stuck include:
"No one will buy that; don't waste your time."
"This has been done before. It’s not original."
"There is nothing special about this."
"I don’t deserve that because I am not good enough."
"I will fail, lose money, and everyone will hate me."
"Making it is hard, and I will suffer."
One of my clients described his inner critic as saying, "Look, the mountain is beautiful but too high for you to climb it." Another client's inner voice was even more brutal, declaring, "You’re not going to be good at expressing your ideas...nothing you do will ever matter." This relentless negativity chips away at self-worth and destroys the courage to pursue a life worth living.
The Antidote: Embracing "Good Enough"
The key to breaking free from the paralysis of perfectionism lies in embracing the concept of "good enough." This doesn't mean settling for mediocrity. Instead, it's about recognizing that striving for excellence is valuable, but demanding perfection is self-defeating. "Good enough" acknowledges that limitations exist - of course they do! But it allows you to progress, learn, and grow without the crippling weight of impossible expectations (and imaginary mountains to climb).
Here are some strategies to help shift your perfectionist mindset to one that embraces "good enough:"
Challenge the Inner Critic: Actively question the negative thoughts and beliefs that cause your perfectionism. Are these thoughts realistic and helpful? Are they really true? Or are they based on fear and unrealistic expectations?
Set Realistic Goals: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Make them so small that you can't even make a mountain out of them anymore. Celebrate small victories along the way to build momentum and confidence.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Shift the focus from the end result (the top of the mountain) to the process of learning and growing (climbing your way up slowly). Accept that mistakes are part of the journey and valuable growth opportunities.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. If you wouldn't wish this pressure on someone else, don't put it on yourself.
Embrace Imperfection: Actively look for opportunities to be imperfect. Share your work even if it's not flawless, leave things unfinished (by your standards), and let others see the process rather than the result. It will be freeing, I promise!
Set Time Limits: Instead of striving for endless improvement, set a realistic deadline and commit to finishing the task within that timeframe (hello, I see you; I know it's hard!). This prevents projects from dragging on indefinitely and allows you to move forward.
Celebrate "Done": Acknowledge and celebrate the completion of a task, regardless of whether it meets every expectation. With your high standards, things will never be "done," so you might as well just let them be what they are.
Redefine Success: Change your definition of success from doing everything perfectly and at the highest level to your personal growth journey, finding meaning in your work, and focusing on your well-being first.
Some Case Studies in "Good Enough"
The Entrepreneur: Savannah started and stopped many entrepreneurial projects because they "didn’t quite feel right." After having her daughter, she realized she was working on interesting things, but they "didn’t truly come from my heart." She found her purpose by shifting her focus to postpartum care and wellness and coaching for new mothers.
The Creative: Connie feels she has "the soul of an artist, even if I don’t have the skill (yet)." Rather than waiting until she has the perfect skills, Connie can embrace her creativity by experimenting, learning, and sharing her work. By cultivating a growth mindset, she knows growth comes through practice, not innate talent.
The Career Changer: Kathryn wants personalized, results-oriented help with a career transition. By making the most of her existing skills and experience, she can create a solid plan that focuses on progress today rather than an unattainable ideal in the future.
Conclusion
As I have witnessed in my life and through working with many gifted and talented people, you think being perfect will be gratifying, but it only causes frustration and stagnation: you get stuck and stay stuck.
By aiming for "good enough" instead, you can free yourself from unattainable expectations, move closer to your innate potential, and experience the joy of progress, creativity, and meaningful achievement instead of the pain of never reaching the top of the mountain. You can Get Unstuck!
Take the first step toward progress and Getting Unstuck
Perfectionism can keep you trapped in a cycle of frustration and inaction. Constantly striving for an unattainable goal leads to self-doubt, procrastination, and a sense of failure, preventing you from reaching your goals and experiencing true fulfillment.
Are you ready to break free from the chains of perfectionism and start achieving your goals? Are you ready to finally get unstuck? Take the first step now - sign up for a free coaching session with me today!
How procrastination masks perfectionism
I’ve wanted to be an author for as long as I can remember. When I started writing a few years ago, I would spend most of the session editing. I would go back and forth, adding words and deleting or rearranging them. It was such a frustrating and cumbersome process. When my articles were done and I finally hit publish, I would go back through and find all the mistakes I had made. I’d ruminate on that for months until the next book idea took hold and I vowed that this time it will be perfect.
With this new book, I have had to stop myself from editing because if I give myself more time to edit, it won’t ever get published. My perfectionism is so pervasive that I have to set clear boundaries or it will take me over.
Are you like that? Do you feel like you have a great idea and then avoid doing it because you want everything about the end result perfect? If you nodded your head yes, then you need to know that this procrastination is simply masking your perfectionism. You can’t just hide and wait till all of the settings and stimuli are perfect before starting, because if you wait, you’ll never start.
Most people who know they are procrastinating on starting or completing a task, know that they’re doing it because going deeper than the surface doesn’t seem to work. They haven’t lost their interest in the work, they just stop because they don’t believe they can fully achieve the end product them have in mind. Sometimes this comes down to the fact that they’re afraid of putting a crappy product out there, and other times (most of the time) it’s because they know how much work (!) has to be done to get that “perfect” end product. Essentially, they’ve set the bar so high, they (unconsciously realize they) can’t reach it at all.
The good news is, you can overcome these tendencies so that you can get unstuck and fulfill the goals you’ve set for yourself without worrying about your inner perfectionist getting in the way.
Set reasonable goals. The first step to ignoring your inner perfectionist is to get clear on what your goals are. If you’re trying to launch a new tennis racket onto the market for people with arthritis, you have to come up with realistic milestones and goals. For instance, a first goal might be hiring an occupational therapist to consult on how arthritis affects the hands and help you identify what an arthritic person would need in a tennis racket. Another goal could be getting that racket to market in the next two or three years. But if you give yourself goals like getting the racket to market in the next six months, you’ll be overwhelmed by the idea of working that hard for that long and end up not doing anything. Your procrastination will be masking your perfectionism.
Stop focusing on other people. They say comparison is the worst form of rejection, and they're right. When you have a good business idea, you can’t focus on what other people are doing. Sure, it helps to know your competitors and how your ideal market sees them, but if you fixate on what they’re doing and compare how you’re fairing, you can set off your perfectionism. Instead of getting things done, meeting deadlines, and achieving goals, you’ll end up stalling, waiting for some way to beat the competition.
Question your fears. If you’re afraid to work hard for a long period of time, or are afraid to put your product into the world, ask yourself why? What is it about this work that is so scary? Maybe you had a parent who told you you weren’t good enough. Maybe you had a boss ridicule you and make you feel small. Whatever it is, once you can identify how and why it’s stopping you, you can overcome it and push through.
It’s okay to make mistakes. If nothing is good enough unless it’s perfect, then nothing is worth doing. Right? Wrong. When you’re gifted with the insight of a great idea, nothing should stand in your way from bringing it to fruition - especially not yourself and the idea that it needs to be perfect. The simple fact that you’ve been given the idea is proof that it needs to be created. In the book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about how if you ignore these sparks of creativity, the muses just bring them to someone else. And if you ignore them long enough, the muse stops offering you anything at all. Thus, if you don’t embrace making mistakes, and nothing is good enough unless it’s perfect, your idea will not be solidified. Your work will never see the light of day and the muses will offer the idea to someone else.
Have self-compassion. We have so much compassion for other people, and yet we are our own harshest critics. Why is that? We need to start fostering self-compassion so that we can overcome our perfectionism. If we’re constantly worried that we’ve done something wrong, we won’t be able to get anything done. When we can accept that mistakes happen and there’s nothing wrong with that, we can finally follow your creativity.
Perfectionism is a tough trait to overcome, but it is possible, especially when we can identify what fuels it. We have to learn how to break the chain, create reasonable goals, focus on ourselves, and question our fears. If we don’t, we won’t ever learn to be free.
Ready to trade in your perfectionism for productivity?
It can be so hard to overcome our perfectionism as it’s usually a product of our upbringing and response to our experiences throughout life.
But it can - and should - be done! Certainly with the help of an experienced coach.
How Perfectionism Keeps You Stuck, And How to Stop Letting it Hold You Back.
Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. In small doses, it can be an inspiring and motivating force that pushes us to reach for the best. It can help us stay focused, work hard and remain committed to a goal. In most cases, unfortunately, perfectionism becomes a prison that keeps you from fulfilling your potential.
In this article, we'll discuss what perfectionism is, common signs of perfectionism, how it keeps you stuck, and finally, I'll offer some practical tips on how to stop letting it hold you back.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a thought pattern where one has an extreme need for everything they do to be perfect. Common signs of perfectionism include black-and-white thinking, all-or-nothing thinking, feeling overwhelmed by the task, procrastination due to fear of failure, and overthinking decisions.
It's important to understand that perfectionism isn't just about achieving high standards; instead, it's more of an emotional response to making mistakes or not meeting expectations. Perfectionists are often highly critical of themselves and others and have an unrealistic view of their abilities.
Perfectionism is not a healthy mindset.
Even though perfectionism is often worn as a badge of honor, most perfectionists don't experience it as a good thing. Instead, it can be a significant source of stress due to endless procrastination and feelings of never being good enough, worthlessness, and discontentment.
If you're a perfectionist, I'm sure you're familiar with the fear of failure or criticism and how they cause you to set impossible standards for yourself. Because you're afraid not to live up to those standards, you quickly become overwhelmed and don't take risks. You may also find yourself procrastinating and never getting started on tasks because you're trying to make everything perfect before even beginning.
When perfectionism gets out of control, rather than encouraging progress and growth, it keeps us stuck in an endless loop of thinking, overthinking, and analyzing every detail until we never reach the finish line. When we focus too much on ensuring everything is perfect—our work, our relationships, or ourselves—we cannot take risks or accept failure as part of the learning process. Instead of feeling motivated and energized by challenges, we feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by them.
Where does perfectionism come from?
Perfectionism can stem from several sources, including upbringing, cultural norms, and insecurities. I believe perfectionism is a defense mechanism or a success strategy we learned in childhood to be safe by gaining approval and acceptance from those around us. Recently, a student in my writing class who's also a teacher shared that the most gifted children in her class are often the ones who suffer the most from perfectionism. They say no to activities they might fail at because they've been conditioned to believe failure is unacceptable.
It's important to understand that perfectionism is not necessarily something you're born with—it's often an acquired behavior or way of thinking. We may have learned it from our parents, teachers, or peers who believed that only the best was good enough. Or, as in my case, it stems from a need for control I internalized very young to survive in an emotionally and physically chaotic home.
How is perfectionism keeping you stuck?
Perfectionism can manifest itself through various behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. It often shows up as procrastination, avoidance, ruminating over decisions or outcomes, and having unrealistic expectations of oneself. Taking a long time to do simple tasks or overthinking every detail so much that progress stalls or stops. You might also find that you're unable to let go of mistakes or failures, striving for an unrealistic level of excellence and never feeling satisfied with your work.
Perfectionism also manifests in negative self-talk—constantly criticizing yourself for not being good enough or beating yourself up for making mistakes. This type of thinking hinders progress by generating feelings of inadequacy and insecurity which keep us stuck in our comfort zone because we're too afraid to take risks and try something new.
In my practice, I see many creatives and entrepreneurs who suffer from perfectionism. Although incredibly gifted and talented, they get stuck because of their perfectionist tendencies. They feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear of failure and criticism so much that it prevents them from doing anything about their creative ideas or business dreams. Instead of taking any action, they prefer to do nothing. Like Margie, a talented writer who doesn't start her novel because she's convinced it won't be good enough, or Amir, who is too afraid to show his work and start selling it, so he keeps it to himself.
How to stop letting perfectionism hold you back?
Even though perfectionism can hold us back and prevent us from taking action, it doesn't have to be that way. Understanding what triggers our perfectionism and developing healthier expectations makes it possible to break free from the grip of perfectionism and learn how to take healthy risks. Here are a few tips that can help:
#1 Awareness
The first step towards overcoming perfectionism is becoming aware of it. We need to understand our perfectionist tendencies and the negative patterns that we've internalized to make a change. It was hard to see that I was a perfectionist until I noticed how expecting so much of myself and others affected my work and relationships. That's when I was finally able to make the shift. Once we become aware, we can challenge our perfectionist thinking and behavior. Perfectionism hides in many places: how we speak to ourselves, approach tasks and projects, or even the standards we set for ourselves. Once we become aware of the areas in which perfectionism is holding us back, it's easier to identify and break these patterns.
#2 Accept imperfection
Once you recognize it, challenge your thinking by asking questions like: Why do I need everything to be perfect? What will happen if I make mistakes? How can I use this situation as an opportunity for learning and growth? Accept imperfection. This might sound counterintuitive, but accepting your limitations and shortcomings is the key to freeing yourself from perfectionism. When I finally realized that I couldn't write perfectly on the first try, I stopped procrastinating and instead started writing. Recognizing that you're not perfect allows you to make mistakes without feeling guilty or ashamed.
#3 Aim for progress, not perfection
Aim for progress rather than obsessing over perfectionism. We should focus on making progress, no matter how small, rather than striving for perfection. This shift allowed me to finally start my podcast after thinking about it for more than seven years! Even if it was well-intentioned, perfectionism can make you feel like every single detail needs to be perfect. It's more important to focus on the progress that you're making. It's okay if things aren't perfect immediately; what matters is that you keep moving forward and learning from your mistakes. 1% better every episode; that's what I'm aiming for with my podcast now, instead of waiting for perfection to get started.
#4 Learn to accept your mistakes
The key is learning to let go of needing everything to be perfect for it to have value or worth. Accept that mistakes will happen; this will allow you the freedom and confidence to take risks without fear of failure. One thing I've done to help me to accept my mistakes is to learn to appreciate them. The first big one I enjoyed this way was the monologue I delivered on stage last year. It could have been better, but it was good enough. Instead of looking at the mistakes and getting frustrated, I chose to look at the experience as a learning opportunity and use it to improve my speaking skills and create something better next time.
#5 Practice self-compassion
Finally, practice self-compassion. Replace feelings of inadequacy and shame with acceptance and understanding. Remind yourself that making mistakes is part of life and doesn't make you any less amazing. Treat yourself like your best friend and be gentle with yourself when setting standards. If you can view mistakes as an opportunity for growth, they become much less intimidating. I had to show a lot of self-compassion for myself recently when I changed my marketing focus quite drastically without knowing how it would pan out. So far, I'm pleased with the results and confident I chose the right path.
If it wasn't clear yet, I'm a recovering perfectionist. I've already done a lot of work to break free from the shackles of perfectionism. However, I'm still learning and practicing to be an imperfectionist—to accept that done is better than perfect, that sometimes making a mistake is okay, and that it's the journey, not the destination, that matters most.
It takes time and practice to break the cycle of perfectionism, but it's absolutely possible; I see it in my work and life every day. Be patient and persistent, and you will create a life full of success, satisfaction, and joy!
Are you feeling overwhelmed by perfectionism?
As an ambitious person, it’s only natural that you want to produce top-notch results. But the constant quest for perfection can lead to procrastination and stagnation in your career or business. That’s why private coaching can be a powerful tool for breaking through these barriers.
With private coaching, you’ll get personalized attention and accountability from me. I'll help you identify areas of improvement and offer advice on how to reach your goals with greater confidence and efficiency. You'll also develop new strategies that empower you to move forward without dreading every mistake along the way.