The Paralysis of Perfectionism: Why "Good Enough" is Actually Perfect
Many people find themselves stuck, unable to move forward in their personal or professional lives. I know because I see a lot of them in my coaching practice. They feel held back not by a lack of ability or opportunity, but by an internal struggle: perfectionism. While seemingly a virtue and a very helpful quality to achieve your goals, the quest for perfection and flawlessness often becomes an obstacle to your goal, leading to procrastination, self-doubt, and, ultimately, getting and staying stuck.
After a decade of supporting creative generalists and entrepreneurs to get unstuck, I know how perfectionism impacts our drive and productivity. So before even trying once again to "just do the thing," look inward. Are you setting yourself up for failure by creating unrealistic expectations? Are you holding yourself back through negative and destructive inner chatter? If that is the case, trying harder won't make you finally move forward. Instead, you must shift your mindset and mentally recalibrate: you must transform how you see perfection and understand it's an illusion created by fear to keep you safe.
What is Perfectionism, Really?
Perfectionism is often misunderstood as simply striving for excellence or having high standards. However, again, after doing this work for a decade, I can tell you it goes way beyond that. At its core, perfectionism is an all-or-nothing approach to life. It's the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable and dangerous. This mindset is paralyzing, as it sets an unattainable standard - a mountain, as I often tell my clients, that we expect to climb in one step!
The High Cost of Chasing Perfection
Perfectionism may manifest differently in different people, but it always comes with a heavy cost:
Procrastination: The fear of not meeting impossibly high standards leads to delaying tasks. First, you create the mountain in your mind. Then, you procrastinate because it's too big of a task to climb it all at once.
Analysis Paralysis: Relentless overthinking and analysis prevent taking action. You're always thinking, trying to figure out how to reach the top of the mountain, but never actually taking the first step.
Self-Sabotage: The inner critic undermines confidence, fostering a belief that you are simply not good enough. If you were, you'd be on that mountain top already!
Lack of Creativity: The pressure to create something perfect will damage your capacity for innovation and experimentation. Instead of figuring out how to make it to the top, you'll be stuck in a rut, coming up with underwhelming ideas, not knowing how to begin.
Burnout: Always creating mountains for yourself, aka unattainable goals, leads to exhaustion and a loss of passion. How could you not get tired, always giving yourself impossibly high climbing levels?
These are only a few of the many negative effects or causes of perfectionism. One that is particularly powerful in keeping us stuck is what we say to ourselves. Let's take a closer look at that inner voice and how it keeps us from achieving our goals.
The Inner Critic's Sabotage
A common theme among my clients is the destructive voice of the inner critic. This voice whispers nothing but doubts, focuses on flaws, and convinces us that our efforts will invariably fail. Some examples of how this inner critic keeps us stuck include:
"No one will buy that; don't waste your time."
"This has been done before. It’s not original."
"There is nothing special about this."
"I don’t deserve that because I am not good enough."
"I will fail, lose money, and everyone will hate me."
"Making it is hard, and I will suffer."
One of my clients described his inner critic as saying, "Look, the mountain is beautiful but too high for you to climb it." Another client's inner voice was even more brutal, declaring, "You’re not going to be good at expressing your ideas...nothing you do will ever matter." This relentless negativity chips away at self-worth and destroys the courage to pursue a life worth living.
The Antidote: Embracing "Good Enough"
The key to breaking free from the paralysis of perfectionism lies in embracing the concept of "good enough." This doesn't mean settling for mediocrity. Instead, it's about recognizing that striving for excellence is valuable, but demanding perfection is self-defeating. "Good enough" acknowledges that limitations exist - of course they do! But it allows you to progress, learn, and grow without the crippling weight of impossible expectations (and imaginary mountains to climb).
Here are some strategies to help shift your perfectionist mindset to one that embraces "good enough:"
Challenge the Inner Critic: Actively question the negative thoughts and beliefs that cause your perfectionism. Are these thoughts realistic and helpful? Are they really true? Or are they based on fear and unrealistic expectations?
Set Realistic Goals: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Make them so small that you can't even make a mountain out of them anymore. Celebrate small victories along the way to build momentum and confidence.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Shift the focus from the end result (the top of the mountain) to the process of learning and growing (climbing your way up slowly). Accept that mistakes are part of the journey and valuable growth opportunities.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. If you wouldn't wish this pressure on someone else, don't put it on yourself.
Embrace Imperfection: Actively look for opportunities to be imperfect. Share your work even if it's not flawless, leave things unfinished (by your standards), and let others see the process rather than the result. It will be freeing, I promise!
Set Time Limits: Instead of striving for endless improvement, set a realistic deadline and commit to finishing the task within that timeframe (hello, I see you; I know it's hard!). This prevents projects from dragging on indefinitely and allows you to move forward.
Celebrate "Done": Acknowledge and celebrate the completion of a task, regardless of whether it meets every expectation. With your high standards, things will never be "done," so you might as well just let them be what they are.
Redefine Success: Change your definition of success from doing everything perfectly and at the highest level to your personal growth journey, finding meaning in your work, and focusing on your well-being first.
Some Case Studies in "Good Enough"
The Entrepreneur: Savannah started and stopped many entrepreneurial projects because they "didn’t quite feel right." After having her daughter, she realized she was working on interesting things, but they "didn’t truly come from my heart." She found her purpose by shifting her focus to postpartum care and wellness and coaching for new mothers.
The Creative: Connie feels she has "the soul of an artist, even if I don’t have the skill (yet)." Rather than waiting until she has the perfect skills, Connie can embrace her creativity by experimenting, learning, and sharing her work. By cultivating a growth mindset, she knows growth comes through practice, not innate talent.
The Career Changer: Kathryn wants personalized, results-oriented help with a career transition. By making the most of her existing skills and experience, she can create a solid plan that focuses on progress today rather than an unattainable ideal in the future.
Conclusion
As I have witnessed in my life and through working with many gifted and talented people, you think being perfect will be gratifying, but it only causes frustration and stagnation: you get stuck and stay stuck.
By aiming for "good enough" instead, you can free yourself from unattainable expectations, move closer to your innate potential, and experience the joy of progress, creativity, and meaningful achievement instead of the pain of never reaching the top of the mountain. You can Get Unstuck!
Take the first step toward progress and Getting Unstuck
Perfectionism can keep you trapped in a cycle of frustration and inaction. Constantly striving for an unattainable goal leads to self-doubt, procrastination, and a sense of failure, preventing you from reaching your goals and experiencing true fulfillment.
Are you ready to break free from the chains of perfectionism and start achieving your goals? Are you ready to finally get unstuck? Take the first step now - sign up for a free coaching session with me today!
