Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
How to stop getting stuck in the Zone of Ideation
Have you ever started to think about something - an event, a business, a job, a partner - and then gotten stuck in this loop where your mind just wanders into every possibility - good and bad, but you never seem to get out of that loop?
If you nodded yes, great. You’re in good company!
When creativity hits, I start doing something with it to prevent myself from getting stuck in that loop of questioning and thinking. Sometimes, though, it’s inevitable, and my mind starts to wander. I begin tothink of all the ways I could do this thing I was just inspired to do, and before I know it, I’ve talked myself into - and out of - a hundred different scenarios for how to bring it to life or if I even should.
For instance, when I was thinking about doing a book launch in NYC, I walked through all the reasons this was a good idea, all the reasons it was a bad idea, and all the ways I could find the time to organise such an event while also continuing to coach, write, and speak. There were a few days where I was fully present in my mind, going through every scenario of how launching “Get Unstuck!” in NYC could play out. I got so lost thinking about it that I almost didn’t do the work I needed to do to make it happen.
I was in a loop, and it was getting harder and harder.
I like to call this loop the “Zone of Ideation” (ZOI).
Usually, you hit the ZOI right before you fully enter the tar pit of stuckness. You’ll be traveling along, an idea will hit, and before you can do anything about it, you’ve already started your loop of question, answer, question, distraction, answer, distraction, question, etc. Before you know it, that loop has pulled you into the tar. You’re sinking below its depths as it burbles alongside you.
You’re stuck.
Our goal is to either avoid the ZOI altogether or pull yourself out of it before you hit the pit.
So, how do you go about doing that?
Identify your automatic response. Your automatic response is precisely what it sounds like - the response your brain and body make when it experiences a particular stimulus. A good example of an automatic response is breathing. Breathing is so intuitive you don’t even realize you’re doing it - until you’re gasping for it. Another example of an automatic response is how your body feels when you’re called on to share during a work call or your go-to response when someone says how are you. When creativity or an idea hits, what’s your automatic response? Do you burrow and hide? Do you ruminate? Do you start doing? What are the first signs? Make yourself aware of them so we can start to change them.
Change your mindset. I know it sounds simpler said than done, but sometimes, it really is as simple as doing it. When it comes to our mindsets, we’re either fixed or flexible (commonly called a growth mindset). People with fixed mindsets have difficulty changing how they see things. People with flexible mindsets have an easier time changing their views and going with the flow. The best part is that fixed mindsets can become flexible with just a little work. Once you’ve identified your automatic response and which mindset you lean towards, you can start adapting your mindset to fit the desired outcome.
Decide on a goal and stick to it. When you have difficulty retreating from the ZOI, it’s probably because you’ve created several goals and want to achieve all of them at once. Instead, focus on one goal you know you can achieve soon and then go after it. Once you’ve accomplished that goal, you can identify the next - and the next - and the next. Before you know it, you’ll have achieved precisely what you wanted. I like to look at these goals as a bucket list instead. Things that I want to achieve just for me, no one else. The word “goal” makes it sound like it’s for someone else’s benefit or some external reward. Bucket list items are solely for me and I can pursue them slowly and with meaning.
When you enter the ZOI, it can be tough to pull yourself out before getting truly stuck. However, the more you practice the steps above, the easier it will be. Then, one day, avoiding the ZOI or getting unstuck more quickly will become second nature to you.
P.S. Don’t forget Get Unstuck! is now on the shelves on Amazon! If you’re interested in how to get unstuck when you’re sinking in the tar pit of stuckness, this book is the only roadmap you’ll need! Click here to find the Amazon site nearest to you.
Dangerously close to the Zone of Ideation?
My clients know that mindset work is one of my favorite things to do with them. It is so incredible to see them think one way and then shift not only their mindset but also their actions within a short time.
If you feel like the ZOI is pulling you in, forcing you to focus on all the things that could be from this one idea, it’s time to learn some new tools!
Experiencing technical difficulties: Sometimes things don’t go your way, and that’s okay…
My newest book, Get Unstuck! came out today!
And if you just did a double take at that or thought I wrote the wrong date, you are half right…
Originally, Get Unstuck! was set to launch on October 25th - however - God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, had other plans for me. What should have been a simple change of date turned into a major issue that required technical assistance and a whole lot of faith.
Several things added to this debacle, including formatting issues, communication disruptions, and serious technical glitches that could have derailed the entire launch. And I truly believe that my behavior during those 12 hours is the reason that things worked out so well.
Think about it - the last time something threw you for a loop and ruined your day, did any of the next five tasks go well? Or did your day suddenly rush off course, crash, and burn?
I’m guessing it was the latter.
That’s because our mindset impacts our attitude, which impacts our environment, which, in turn, impacts our mindset. If you have a fixed mindset - one that doesn’t do well with change or challenges - you might find that your day is completely trashed because of one issue early on. You can’t shake out of the negative headspace that “everything will go wrong.”
But, if you have a growth mindset, you can see the issue for what it is and stop yourself from carrying it in the next moment of the day. You go into problem-solving mode and work to fix things without reacting.
The truth is, ten years ago, I definitely would have freaked out. My entire week would have been ruined and I would have fallen victim to all the worst-case scenarios. This time, though, I saw the situation for what it was - a chance to practice what I preach and not have it impact my whole day. The issue was fixed and while it was a bummer that my initial pre-orders were canceled because of an Amazon glitch, I know there’s a reason for it.
My attitude is positively impacting my environment, which is positively impacting my mindset, which is reinforcing my positive attitude.
So how can you cultivate a growth mindset and steer clear of attitude derailments? Follow the steps below to get a peak into what I do every day to prevent my mind from wandering into negativity territory.
Accept the situation. I think a lot of the issues we get with our mindset come from refusing to acknowledge that what is happening is happening. Whatever the situation, you have to accept that it is happening so you can prevent it from following you into every other situation that day. For example, if you spill coffee on class notes and start chiding yourself for being a terrible coffee sipper, that mindset will follow you into the next task. You might find that you are dropping more things, cajoling yourself, and breaking things unnecessarily. However, if you spill the coffee and start cleaning it up without making yourself feel bad, your subconscious will recognize that mistakes happen and it doesn’t have to affect the rest of your day.
Think about how your favorite person would react. If you admire someone like Ghandi or Amelia Earheart, think about how they would react in a moment of strife. Would they crumble and let the bad mood follow them? Or would they problem solve their way out of it and protect their peace? I’m gonna go with the second option.
Set realistic goals. This might not sound like something you can do after an issue pops up, but the reality is that setting realistic goals is something you can do all along the way, whatever is happening in the moment. If you’re working on something and you realize the timeline you’ve given yourself is too fast paced, it’s okay to slow down and switch it up.
Try something new. If you’ve noticed that your reaction negatively impacts every other area of your life, it’s time to try something new. Part of having a growth mindset is trying new things and finding what works for you in a particular situation - and knowing that it can evolve over time.
Check in with yourself. Probably the most important thing to do when trying to cultivate a growth mindset is to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about what just happened? What emotions are coming up? Who do you hear in your head that is hurting your heart? How do you think you’d feel if you responded in a different way?
The only thing we are responsible for - and in control of - are our own reactions. If we are constantly getting overwhelmed with things and outcomes we can’t control, we won’t get anything done and we will constantly be living in fear.
I don’t know about you, but I refuse to live in that headspace any longer.
P.S. you can order Get Unstuck! today on Kindle, paperback, or hardcover!
Ready to ditch the fixed mindset?
Our mindset determines so much about our day to day reactions, but also our longterm mental health. Those of us with growth mindsets react more healthily to problems. Whereas people with fixed mindsets can let their frustrations overtake them, getting them stuck without the will to MOVE.
If you want to learn how to change your mindset, get unstuck, and start MOVE-in’, I can help!
I’ve outgrown my career. What should I do next?
Most high-achieving (and creative) employees end up outgrowing their jobs and careers rather quickly. Part of the problem is that we pick up tasks easily and once we find ourselves bored with the work, it can be hard to motivate ourselves to stick with it. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When you outgrow your work, it just means it’s time for something new.
Think about it! When you were little, you wanted to do so many different things with your life. At one point, I wanted to be a sea witch, a librarian, and an astronaut all at once. I dreamt of wearing a voluminous black dress, with giant black rimmed glasses, holding a copy of a Tale of Two Cities, while floating in the International Space Station’s anti-gravity. If you ask any five-year old, they don’t think of one job they want to do forever. They come up with six or seven and those six or seven change from day to day - sometimes minute to minute.
We only think we want one career for our entire lives because that’s what society tells us. You go to school for a dozen years, get pressured into picking a major in college for a life you kind-of-sort-of want, and then come out of college and immediately start climbing a corporate ladder. At some point, you get so bored with it all that you start thinking about what life would look like if you’d made different choices - or perhaps if you had actually *made* a choice..
Many people will live their entire lives wondering what if, but I’m willing to wager that if you’re here reading this blog, you might be ready to make the shift. And you can and are allowed to make the shift. It’s okay to have two - or even ten - different careers in your lifetime. According to this article, the average person has twelve different jobs and almost 30% of people have changed their careers post college.
Now that you know you can make a career transition, you’re probably wondering how. (It always comes down to “how” doesn’t it?) Here’s how:
Why? Start by thinking about why you want to change your current career. Maybe you aren’t being challenged enough. Or maybe the industry is dying out. Whatever your feelings are, they’re valid. My first career was in the web industry, and while that is not a dying industry by any means, I felt like I was choking on the corporate ladder. I came out of college and climbed and climbed, never letting myself think about what I actually wanted and why I wanted it. When I finally sat down and asked myself why I wanted to transition, the answer was simple: I wanted to be happier. I wanted to live my life on my rules and my terms and no longer worry about what everyone else wanted for me.
What other careers are you interested in? Think about what your end goal is. If you were to change careers, how would you achieve that end goal? If you don’t change your career now, will 80 year-old-you have regrets about your choices? Once you’ve thought this through, write down the steps you think you will need to accomplish to make future you proud. When I was trying to figure out how to transition from my web agency into my coaching career, I was so scared to take the first step, but I knew if I didn’t shake things up, I would forever regret it.
When can you make the change? Career transitions usually don’t happen overnight. Especially if you value the company you work for. A good thing to think about is when you can transition out of your role and into your new career. What life events, or career events, will inhibit that change? How can you address those so they don’t affect you?
How can your current skills help you in the career you want? Your ability to get a job, or start a business, in a new industry or role, will rely a lot on your past experience and current knowledge base. Figuring out how to use those skills, whether they are hard or soft skills, in a new arena is half the battle to convince your mind that this transition is possible. For instance, if you are a trained cosmetologist who would like to move into remote bookkeeping for hair salons, you can use your knowledge of how hair salons work to help them manage their finances. If you aren’t super secure in your bookkeeping abilities, you can always take a short certification course to get up to speed and support your resume.
Start networking. Networking is a great way to connect with people in the industry or roles you are hoping to transition into. They can offer advice and guidance to help you move along that new path more easily. Also, they might know of job openings and be able to vouch for your abilities when you apply. A lot of the people I first met when I transitioned to coaching had made similar changes earlier in their lives. Some of them have even become my mentors and helped me feel empowered by my transition.
It can be super scary to transition careers, but the reality is, if your gut is telling you it’s time, it’s definitely time. Think about what your future self would be proud of you for doing, how this transition will positively impact their life, and then go for it! And if you need a little help, book one of my free 30-minute chats. You never know what we might come up with!
Scared to change your career?
Changing careers can be a scary prospect, but it can also be an empowering one. You are making the choice to leave behind what you are comfortable doing, for a career that is more challenging and fulfilling.
I help my clients discover their passions and find work that aligns with those passions. Together we will discover what it is you really want to be doing with this next part of your life and how to achieve those goals in a sustainable way. If you're ready to change your career, I can help you get there!
The Four Agreements and How They Can Help You Succeed In Business
Each morning, I recite the Four Agreements (old Toltec Wisdom):
Be impeccable with your words.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Now, I wish I had come up with these incredibly simple - but powerful - agreements, but I did not. Don Miguel Ruiz published The Four Agreements in 1997. Growing up in rural Mexico, Don Miguel was the son of a Toltec faith healer, and the grandson of a Toltec shaman - or nagual. Despite growing up in such a faith based culture, he went on to practice neurosurgery in Tijuana until he was involved in a near-fatal car crash. He left medicine and began to study life and humanity through the lens of the Toltec teachings.
According to The Four Agreements, when we are born, we learn all the rules and values our family and society have. They impose these rules and values onto us through a punishment and reward system - like how we train animals, for example dogs. Where our true nature is to love and explore life, we learn what others think we should be and are forced to change. If we do the “right” thing, we are rewarded. If we do the “wrong” thing, we are punished.
Over the course of our lifetimes, we are domesticated into who society and our family think we should be and we lose that ability to be truly happy.
In the years since first reading this book, I’ve started each day reciting The Four Agreements to remind myself of who I am - the real me. And to practice strong tools to stand in the world in an authentic and anchored way. While this has helped me in my personal life tremendously, it has also helped me in my professional life.
When we strive to be our authentic self in business, we are better capable of building businesses and having careers that fulfill us and the people around us. By practicing The Four Agreements in my business, I’ve been able to alter the way I do business. Instead of focusing on the outcome of my sales efforts, I focus on the outcome of my words and thoughts, and how they affect my clients in a positive way, which ends up affecting my sales.
1. Be impeccable with your words.
This first agreement is probably the hardest to do, but to complete the other agreements, you have to start with this one. It is the foundation of the four agreements. Your words are a reflection of who you are. If you speak rudely, if you cut people with your words, or don’t follow through with your promises, how will anyone be able to trust what you say? Clients, employees, and consultants will retreat from working with you.
If you say you’re going to do something, you better do it - even if it costs you. Prove your worth by proving your integrity.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
When you’re impeccable with your words, you don’t have to take anything personally. If you have a client, business partner, or family member that’s working against you, you might feel like giving up. But if you know that when you say something you’re going to do it, even if it costs you, and you don’t take what they’re saying personally, nothing can stop you from achieving what you dream of. People who don’t know they’ve been domesticated don’t know that their actions are a result of the rules and values placed on them. But you do know. You can see through those rules and values and identify what you want out of life.
You know the rules and values that govern you. Don’t let the words and actions of others take away from that.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
I don’t know about you, but this one is really hard - especially when you’re neurodivergent like me and don’t necessarily interpret situations correctly. It can be especially hard not to make assumptions when you’re close to that person - but those are the moments it’s even more important not to.
If someone in your life acts a certain way, take it for what it is. Don’t read into it. If your contract client asks for a rewrite of their social media posts, don’t assume you did it wrong. Maybe they just wanted it to reflect something that just happened. When someone has to cancel an important call with you, don’t assume they are trying to get out of it to be malicious.
Making assumptions about a certain situation generally just leads to further assumptions. Be assertive. Be impeccable with your words and ask the person outright what they mean if you need clarification (something neurodivergents often do).
4. Always do your best.
If you’re impeccable with your words, don’t take anything personally, and don’t make assumptions, you will be doing your best. As long as you’re always striving to do your best, you can’t fault yourself for where you land. If you’ve been working hard to launch a new business and it doesn’t take off on day one, you still did your best and that’s more important than the outcome of that day.
So how does this really relate to business? Business is all about making connections and promises. You’re trying to get someone to buy something from you, to work with you, to trust you and to enter into a relationship with you - coaching, courses, nail polish, etc. They have to trust you to buy something. For instance, let’s say you sell contract templates for small businesses. When you’re advertising your offering, your words better reflect exactly what you’re promising. The templates have to be useful for people in specific states or countries, or the customer will accuse you of lying. If someone buys your template package and there’s a problem, you have to show up and help, even if it costs you profits. It will save you money in the long run because your reputation will be intact.
Additionally, these four agreements will help you navigate your business, professional life, and personal life more easily. When you show up as someone who follows those principles, it will show. People will see it and your integrity and the quality of your work will have them come back for more.
Are you afraid to unlearn the rules?
Realizing that we are under a “spell” - as Don Miguel puts it - is the first step to realigning ourselves. But it can be hard to understand that while our parents and society want the best for us, the way they want us to get there isn’t the path we should be on.
I help my clients rationalize these polar opposite views, identifying what they actually want to be doing with their lives and what success looks like for them. Then we work together to uncover - and break - the rules and values placed upon them. You can achieve whatever you want out of life, no matter what your family and society has told you is acceptable. I can help you get there!
Yet: A Simple Three-Letter Word That Changes Everything
What if I told you that by adding just three letters to the end of your negative self-talk, not only would your mindset change for the better, but so would every aspect of your life? Imagine how much more good you could do in this world if you believed in yourself more and felt like anything was possible. The word "YET" is a three-letter word that can make all of these things happen.
Don't be fooled by the simplicity of the word. The implications are enormous! For many of my clients, it's the shift from a fixed to a growth mindset. They go from believing that their capabilities are what they are today to knowing they can continuously improve and become better - at whatever they set their minds to. By adding the nuance of "yet" to your thoughts and inner talk, you will not only believe you can do it, but you'll also give yourself the gift of patience. You'll know there's still time to perfect your execution of whatever it is you're doing, even if it doesn't happen right away.
Fixed versus Growth Mindset
Carol Dweck presents an interesting case about mindset in her book Mindset, which I highly recommend. She distinguishes between the fixed and growth mindsets saying that those who have a "fixed" mindset believe their capabilities are not changeable - they're just what they are right now. They think things like, "I'm not good at math." or "I'm not a good writer." This mindset limits people from excelling in these areas because they don't allow room or time to improve. People with fixed mindsets believe that their abilities are static, not able to be improved upon.
On the flip side is those who have what Dweck calls growth mindsets. These individuals believe their abilities aren't set in stone. Instead, they think they can develop their abilities through many different pathways - so people with growth mindsets tend to take on challenges head-on and work hard because they know the benefits of doing so will improve them over time. They understand things like "practice makes perfect" or "the more you do something, the better you become at it."
"Yet" changes not just how we see ourselves but also what others see in us. Not good at something yet? No problem! There's always a way so let's figure out how to get there. Suddenly, nothing seems impossible anymore. When you add "yet" into your life, you no longer feel like you're not "good enough" or "smart enough," and everything seems reachable with some effort. That's an empowering thought.
And one that we all desperately need to hear more - nobody was born knowing how to do everything right away. We all have to start somewhere, and we're not going to be good at it the first time, but that doesn't mean we can't get better!
How to use the word "yet" to change your mindset?
Don't say, "I don't know what to do," instead say, "I don't know what to do yet."
Don't say...
I'm not a writer
I'm not good with money
I'm not an entrepreneur
I have no clue on how to make my idea work
I don't know what I want
Instead, say...
I'm not a writer yet
I'm not good with money yet
I'm not an entrepreneur yet
I have no clue on how to make my idea work yet
I don't know what I want yet.
"Yet" is not just for yourself; it's also great to use when encouraging others. If you're not good at something yet, does that mean someone else can automatically do it better than you? Not necessarily. And if they try and fail (which will happen), don't be so quick to point out their failure; instead, ask them what they learned from the experience or how they plan on doing things differently in the future. They can't do it yet, but they might succeed next time!
The three-letter word can help you make all these changes in your mindset, but only if you remember not to take it for granted - to go from "yet" to success, you must be willing to work at it. So be patient with yourself and not too hard on yourself when things don't go according to plan.
Believe that you can improve your capabilities, but understand that the amount of effort and work put into something directly correlates to how good or capable you'll become. Don't be afraid to take on challenges because those challenges will stretch you beyond what's comfortable and allow for personal development and growth.
In the end, "yet" is a little word with significant consequences. It will make you feel like you can accomplish anything in life and be better at whatever it is that interests you.
Your newfound belief in yourself will help you to take more action toward reaching goals and objectives because you won't be fear of failure or embarrassment if not everything goes according to plan.
Do you feel like you're stuck in a rut?
You want to be successful, but sometimes it feels like something is holding you back. Maybe it's fear of failure or the feeling that nothing will work out for you. If this sounds familiar, coaching could help solve those problems and get your life on track again.
My coaching packages are designed to ensure that you get what you need from your time with me so we can create real change together. I know how hard it can be to face some of these issues, and I'm here to support you through them all. Don't wait any longer, and book your free session with me today!