Real Magic: How Thoughts Become Things And Why it Matters

I believe thoughts are REAL things. As real as physical things, and even people. I also believe that thoughts shape our reality and our life. What we think manifests in our life. That’s why having a strong mindset, aka being in control of your thoughts is so important. Because if you are, you also become the master of your life. The thing that makes thoughts so intangible is – obviously – that we can’t see them, at least not just like that. But thoughts are all around us, constantly shaping the world. Although they seem invisible, you can do many things with thoughts, and thoughts become many things, too.

• Thoughts can be smelled. Perfume is a beautiful example of thoughts that manifest into real life. The creator behind the perfume had an idea once, and started playing with flowers and oils. Eventually, that thought manifested into a (hopefully) delicious scent.

• Thoughts can be shared. Ideas is probably one of the things we share most with each other. In fact, pretty much everything we do online comes down to sharing our thoughts.

• Thoughts can be bought or sold. Lobby groups know this all too well. But they’re not the only ones. Silicon Valley is full of idea buyers. But so are book stores and theaters.

• Thoughts create your reality. Look around you. Everything you see as been called into your life by you. You’ve manifested it by first thinking about it. Thoughts are powerful beyond belief…

Almost everything that is man-made in this world started – at some point or another – as a single thought. Think about that for a minute (pun totally intended).

When I was a little girl one Christmas I received a magic box as a present. In the box was a black wand that I spent the entire day of Christmas swaying around, at everyone and everything, casting spells and trying to make my wishes come true. But nothing happened. So, that night I went to bed absolutely disillusioned, and in a last attempt to draw magic into my life, I invoked a prayer, asking the Universe to give my magic wand real magic. I don’t remember what happened after that, only that the next morning the magic wand still wasn’t of much use. It took me almost 30 years to understand that the magic is not in the wand, but rather in the thoughts of the one holding it.

When I understood that thoughts are *real things* I became much more mindful of what I was thinking and saying. I felt like a real magician, able to create my own reality by shaping my thoughts to what I wanted my life to be like.

It is my sincere conviction that the thoughts we have ultimately manifest into the physical world – all of them, with no exception. And I’m not the only one to think so. There’s a long tradition of thinkers and spiritual leaders who’ve come to the same conclusion as me (with much more gusto). Among them is Gandhi, who put this priceless and magical wisdom into words beautifully when he said:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
– Gandhi

How do you manifest the life you want?

Maybe you’re familiar with the concepts of abundance and the law of attraction. In a way, what I’m explaining has to do with all of that, too. But it’s not entirely the same. Yes, you can attract what you think about and wish for, but – and this is the key – by doing so, you can actively participate in shaping your reality. Everything you ever thought has brought you to where you are right now. This means that everything you’re still to think up in the future will bring you somewhere too.

That’s why I am extremely cautious of my mindset, beliefs, and thoughts. I understand their power and the magic that words hold. Although I’m not in control of the world, and I don’t know what the future holds, my thoughts allow me to create my own reality.

• I decide how to react to what happens to me.

• I choose my thoughts carefully.

• I make sure I think nourishing thoughts.

• When a negative thinking spiral starts, I know it’s only temporary.

6 steps to start manifesting your dream life now:

1. Understand that your thoughts create your reality.
   Every thought you have is creating your reality. If you want to manifest your dream life, you need to be aware of the power of your thoughts and focus on positive thinking.

2. Vibrate at the frequency of your dreams, not your fears.
   Change your negative thoughts into positive ones - If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, consciously change them into positive ones. For example, if you're thinking, "I'll never be able to afford that," change it to "I can achieve anything I set my mind to."

3. Let go of the outcome.
   If you cling too hard to something, you're sending a message to the Universe that you desperately need it, aka that you don't have it. Trust that the Universe will take care of the details - Don't worry about how your dreams will come to fruition, trust that the Universe will take care of the details.

4. Be grateful for what you have.
   Gratitude is one of the most powerful manifesting tools available. When you focus on being thankful for what you already have, it opens up the possibility of more good coming into your life.

5. Visualize what you want.
   Another powerful manifesting tool is visualization. When you close your eyes and picture exactly what you want in your mind, you're sending a strong message to the Universe that this is what you're looking for.

6. Take action towards your goals.
   For your manifestation to become a reality, you need to take action steps towards your goal. For example, if you want to manifest a new job, start by updating your resume and sending out applications.

By following these tips, you can begin manifesting the life of your dreams! Just remember, thoughts become things, so focus on thinking positive thoughts and watch as your life transforms before your eyes.

The magic is within you.

Think thoughts of love, success and joy for those around you, for yourself and the world. Love, success and joy is what you’ll get. Because thoughts become things, and they ALWAYS manifest.

Feeling like you're stuck and don't know what to do next?

A growth mindset is key for success. You have to be willing to learn, grow, and change in order to achieve anything great in life. With the help of a private coach, you can develop the skills you need to succeed.

As a coach I can help you break through your barriers and achieve your goals. You will get personalized attention and guidance so you can reach your full potential. Working with me is an investment in yourself – and it’s one that will pay off big time.

Schedule your free session!

Don’t punish food with exercise

I’ve had a terrible relationship with my body and my self-image for almost 20 years. Since I was 15 years old, I’ve been on a diet. Starving myself, then letting myself go and gaining it all back, yo-yoing between having and lacking the willpower to do that to myself. It all began with a broken heart over a boy, a difficult relationship with my father, and a lack of (self-)love that I believed could be fixed only if I restricted myself.

As a result, I know the calorie count of almost everything that’s edible. I know a ton about fats, proteins, and carbs. I know about sugar and what it’ll do to you, and I know why processed foods are so addictive and so difficult to resist. But what I know most about, and what has been with me ever since I started my first diet, is guilt.

I don’t remember a time before dieting. It doesn’t matter how many times I try – I cannot remember a time where food was just that: food.

A time when eating didn’t make me think of the consequences and didn’t immediately make me question my worth by making me feel bad about my weight, the tightness of my jeans, or the circumference of my waste. Looking back, I realize how bad it was. But that was only the beginning. A few years into the all-consuming dieting practice, I discovered exercise. Not for the obvious benefits of living a fit and healthy life, but for the guilt relief it provided after eating.

From that point on, daily exercise became mandatory, especially after meals where I had let myself slip and had enjoyed something on the no-no list. And although exercising to stay in shape can certainly be a healthy choice, for me it wasn’t. I was not moving my body to keep it healthy, I was moving it to get rid of the food I had just eaten. It took me years to understand the difference. For the longest time, I was oblivious to what I was doing, and honestly believed that I was taking good care of myself, both with exercise and my diet!

Since then, by focusing on other benefits besides weight loss that exercise brings to my body, I’ve learned not to punish myself with exercise, but to enjoy it for the benefits it brings me. But then again, since then, I’ve also learned a totally new way to relate to food – one that isn’t filled with guilt and doesn’t require me to count every single calorie that I take in. It was a slow process, and it took me a long time to get where I am now. And it all started with me treating myself and talking to myself as I would treat and talk to someone I really loved – someone I would only wish the best for, and who I would want to care for, always.

Once I started to see myself and my body through a lens of love, things slowly shifted and moved into place.

I stopped counting calories and started listening to my body instead, focusing on feeling hungry. A feeling that I had suppressed so much in the past, that it took me close to a year to get in touch with it again. Now, when I’m hungry, I listen to my body and I eat!

I stopped punishing myself with exercise, and started enjoying it instead. Instead of doing one after the other, eating and then exercising, I separated both activities in order to allow them to exist and be good for me on their own. And every time I felt I had to exercise, I forced myself not to, and chose a self-care activity instead.

I stopped buying clothes that were too small, and had everything fitted instead. When I was on my perpetual diet, I was always aiming for smaller. As a result, I never bought anything that actually fit me. I never tried anything on either, so I usually never got around to wearing the new clothes I bought at all. The only thing those clothes ever did for me, was help me to be harder on myself. Now, I have a closet full of beautiful things that fit me and make me feel wonderful. There is simply no better feeling in the world.

I stopped comparing myself to others, and learned to love my body instead. For years, I let myself be brainwashed by the media, believing all the paint-brushed pictures telling me there was still a lot to improve upon with my body. When I started to love myself more, I realized I had a wonderful body of my own that had been with me for forty years, and that I hoped would be with me for at least another forty. I found a deep sense of love for the physical me, and have been cherishing and taking the best possible care of it ever since.

I still am not there 100% of the time, but most days, I’m doing fine. I eat when I’m hungry, I exercise a few times a week (but only when I feel like it), I wear what fits me, and I like my body. That’s what loving myself has done for me. And I think that’s pretty fantastic!

How to boost your confidence as a creative perfectionist

High-achieving perfectionists are often multi-passionate creatives. Believe me, I know. I've always believed that creating requires you to disclose, and show a secret part of your yourself, of your soul. That this part is forever connected with anything that you've created.

Wouldn’t you say that putting a secret part of yourself out into the world, for everyone to see, might make even the most confident person a little insecure? Not to mention high-achieving perfectionists who'd rather not show anything at all, then present something less than perfect to the world?

Perfectionists or not, we all carry with us the weight of what we think others expect of us.

We all carry a heavy suitcase of beliefs, everywhere we go. We hold beliefs about everything and everyone, including ourselves. When it comes to those beliefs, we have an endless list of how we think we’re supposed to be. Often, though, those beliefs are not true. But that’s difficult to grasp, because we hardly ever question what we believe in. Beliefs that aren’t true are often called limiting beliefs, and perhaps you have heard of them before. They are so called because they limit you, either in your doing, your thinking, or even in your being.

A classical example of a limiting belief is when we hold onto a way of doing something simply because that’s the way we’ve always done it or were taught how to do it, like the belief that you need formal training or innate talent to call yourself an artist.

If we start questioning that kind of beliefs, most of them will not survive. In a larger setting, this is also called questioning the status quo. I have found this to be one of the ways to find more confidence in many areas of my life - as a writer, coach, woman, and also as an entrepreneur.

1. Question everything

So my first advice is to question everything. That’s the best way to uncover your limiting beliefs and to let go of them. When it comes to confidence, we have a lot of them. A prime example for creative people is the “I’ll never be good enough” belief.

But there are many others. All of them helping to lower your self esteem and keep you from fully expressing yourself. Whenever your inner critic talks you down, or whenever a thought about you not being good enough or creative enough pops into your mind, question that thought.

Why wouldn’t you be good enough?
Is what that voice is saying to you really true?
What is the truth here?

2. Surround yourself with like-mined people

A confidence booster that always does it for me is to surround myself with like-minded people.

If I don’t feel confident about my writing, I’ll surround myself with writers who know my pains and insecurities, and who share them with me. If I’m not sure about any aspect of my life (not just the creative parts of me), I’ll try to surround myself with people who I share that aspect of my life with. Guaranteed confidence booster, especially if followed by the mantra: If they can to it, so can I.

3. Show your talent

Another option, albeit a more daring one, is to show your talents to others.

As a writer, that means publishing your words, or sharing them aloud or in a writer’s group, as a painter or another visual creative, that might be to exhibit your work or try to sell it.

Whatever your creative field is, there's something tangible that you can create and that others can see. Show it to them. In most cases, you’ll understand that things are really much better than you think they are, and that your creative work is worth it.

4. Realise that nothing is ever perfect

A big one for me was to realise that nothing is ever perfect. As a high-achieving perfectionist who loved to always be in control, being creative – although it was my calling and inner nature – was difficult for a long time.

Being creative requires that you let go of control, that you surrender to your creativity. Not an easy task for me! But I was able to slowly let go of having everything the way I thought I needed it to be by:

• putting myself out there,

• surrounding myself with like-minded people,

• and questioning my beliefs about myself and my creative skills.

As a result, I accepted that things were what they were, that creativity is magickal and, although uncontrollable, that we can cultivate it, that what I created, as long as I did my best, was good just the way it was.

5. The person you need to convince is you

This brings me to my final and most important point. In most cases, boosting your confidence when it comes to your creative skills only requires you to convince yourself that you are a creative person.

Everyone else around you already knows, and doesn’t question what you are capable of doing or what you're creating. In most cases, you're the one that doesn’t believe:

• start by introducing yourself as the artist that you are,

• write a bio of yourself, or an elevator pitch, and test it out on people,

• see how they react,

• use those reactions to convince yourself that yes, indeed, you are creating beautiful and worthy things!

The more you practice, the more it will become real to you.

The more you'll realize that being an artist is a mindset, way of life in which you decide to show a little part of your soul – however imperfect – to the world.

A morning ritual for self-love in 5 easy steps

I love morning rituals. I like how they help me to structure and organize my life, and how they are an anchor I can always go back to, whatever life throws at me.

Over the years, I have found that what you do early in the morning, during that tiny moment where you wake up and become aware of your existence, can make or break your entire day. So, to me, having a good morning routine is essential to being happy.

When I first started to work on loving myself more, I started to add more elements of self-love into my morning routine. Where the routine was rather practical and pragmatic at first – writing down top to-dos, reading out my weekly intentions, and focusing on my vision board – once I started working on love and compassion, I needed more love and compassion in the morning. By engaging in those goals, I not only set myself up for a productive and successful day, but a happy one and loving one, too.

So, here is my morning routine of awakening into self-love:

Step 1: Upon waking up, have a positive and loving thought

Every day, when I wake up, once I’m aware of who and where I am, I bring a loving thought into my mind. This can be anything. In my case, I’ll usually think about the love I have for my husband or my friends, the happiness that I get from my dog Flex, or the delicious coffee that I’ll be tasting soon. Whatever it is for you, make sure it is something that you love and look forward to. This simple step will help you create a positive mindset – a key ingredient for self-love and happiness.

Step 2: There are no “have-to’s” early in the morning

As a morning practice, I have learned to allow myself to do and feel anything that I want for the first moments I’m awake. In the first moments of my day, I have no to-do list and I listen to nobody but myself. Usually, I’ll look outside the window, take a few deep breaths, sit at the kitchen table, and simply let myself wake up into my day. Most days, I’ll close my eyes and it will feel like a meditation. But again, without any obligations. I just do what I feel like. This is my sacred space and it allows me to ground myself for what’s to come.

Step 3: Make sure to take your coffee or tea in the now

After I have given myself the time to peacefully awaken, I make myself some coffee or tea, depending on my mood and feelings. When it’s ready and I drink it, I make sure I’m not doing anything else other than savoring the taste, warmth, and aromas. This brings me from wherever I am back into the now, close to the experience. So often, we drink our coffee without even noticing how good it tastes or how fresh it smells. A missed opportunity to enjoy what life has to offer us. That’s why I’ve made it a habit to really be aware of it when I drink it. It’s a little gift I give myself every day.

Step 4: Write down your intentions for the day

A very important part of my morning ritual is writing down my intentions for the day. By the time I am doing this, I have had a look at my schedule and know what my day will look like. Depending on who I’m going to meet, what I have to do, and what feelings I associate all that with, I think of an intention. If I know I have some difficult meetings ahead of me, I’ll write an intention to keep me grounded and calm, and if I am looking forward to seeing a friend, I will write an intention for us to have the best of times. Throughout the day, I go back to my intention a few times, making sure I remember what’s important for me and how I want to feel.

Step 5: Don’t forget to say “I love you”

The final – and most important step – of my morning ritual is saying “I love you” to myself. I do this every day, when I’m looking at myself in the mirror. Usually, it’s when I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth, or when I’m getting dressed in my bedroom and looking in the big wall mirror I have by my closet. I’ll pause, take a few breaths, and really look at my reflection in the mirror. Then I will simply say “I love you”. I say it out loud or in silence, whatever I feel like. Sometimes I say it softly, sometimes I say it loudly. Sometimes I smile when I say it, sometimes I make a face. But because it’s so important to remember, I always say it.

This list might look like a lot, but it really isn’t. You can integrate it in any morning routine or in the habits you already have. You don’t have to do all of it either; you can choose what feels right for you and start from there. But whatever you do, I would invite you to try and start your day with thoughts of love for yourself. It will change your life.

How to be happy for others and why it matters

I was at a family wedding last weekend when my husband’s cousin and I started talking about the power of happiness. My husband’s cousin is a wonderful woman; beautiful, well-read, she has been places and seen things. Life hasn’t always been easy for her, yet when she’s around, even the darkest room brightens. She was talking about how happy she is with her baby boy, how her husband is a keeper, and how they’ve now found a house they love, have made an offer, and are praying for it to be accepted. All good things, for sure. But then the mood changed, as she recalled telling a good friend about her treasured house just a day earlier, and getting a nasty, jealous comment back.

The friend she was talking about is not very different from her. She’s not a refugee from Syria, she’s not on welfare, and she isn’t sick or even remotely in a bad physical or mental place. On the contrary, she has a good and steady job, lives a great life, and only differs slightly from my husband’s cousin: she just has a tiny bit less than her, is just a tiny bit heavier than her, and to her own standards, she’s just a tiny bit less attractive. But all of these little tiny bits together make that friend unhappy and envious.

I could see that my husband’s cousin had given this issue a lot of thought. And in the interesting and heart-centered conversation we had, she said something that really stuck with me.

If only my friend was happy for me, that would make her happy, too.

And I think that is so true.

We live in a competitive world. We live in a media-driven world. We live in a world that wants us to believe we are not enough the way we are, and that we are flawed and need extensive fixing. There isn’t a week that goes by without us being bombarded by countless messages telling us what a wonderful and perfect life lies a tiny little bit ahead of us, if only we can have, do, or take up the latest fashion fad. I believe that envy and jealousy are byproducts of those deceiving lies. And although they are not the goal of what the media and corporations want us to believe about ourselves, they are a welcome byproduct of that messaging. Envy and jealousy make us unhappy, and unhappiness is the breeding ground for our need for stuff, and always more stuff. Because we are meant to believe that we can cure unhappiness with things. And when we see others obtaining items that we think we need in order to be happy, our envy and jealousy are there to remind us of that lie.

But with awareness and practice, you can learn to see through this veil of misleading beliefs and become genuinely happy for others. And once you do that, a new level of happiness emerges for you, too. And guess what? It all starts with loving yourself first.

Looking back at my own life, I know I’ve had many moments where I was envious or jealous, comparing and wishing I could have the life, body, or boyfriend of someone else. For a big part of my life, I tried to achieve the unattainable and I was miserable. Those moments were amongst the worst of my life. When I think back on how I felt, what I remember is bad. In most cases, I was depressed, stressed, anxious, frustrated, or scared. And I definitely didn’t love myself. And it’s only when I changed from within – when I started to love myself, my body, my mind, my soul, and my life – that I was able to be happy for the fortune and blessings of others. And thanks to that shift, I became happier myself.

Because when I started doing that, showing more love and compassion for the person who I was, I noticed I wasn’t that envious or jealous of others anymore. And once I was happy for them, more amazing things started happening for me. And that’s no surprise.

It is my conviction that what we send out into the world, and the thoughts that we have over and over again, materialize into this world. No exceptions.

On a level of energy, thought can be positive or negative, and depending on what we send out via our thinking, that is what we attract back into our lives. Fundamentally, that’s all there is: either you send out and receive positive and uplifting energy, or you send out and gain negative and depressing energy.

When you are jealous, you are tapping into and sending out negative energy. And by definition, that is what you get back. But that’s not all. When you’re jealous or envious, you’re creating the negative energy within yourself – in your mind through negative thinking, and in your body by producing emotions to fit your thoughts. And by doing that, you push self-love away. When you think of it that way, what it means is that, when you’re having negative thoughts or feelings towards someone else, you’re really having them towards yourself. When you’re jealous of a friend, they might be out having a great time, while you’re sobbing, or frustrated, or sad even, that you are not them. Wouldn’t it be much more fun to be out with them, so you could have a good time too?

But thankfully, the opposite is true, as well. And that is what my husband’s cousin meant when she said her friend could be happy too. Because if you are genuinely happy for the success, achievements, blessings, and lives of others, you are creating that positive energy within yourself, too, bringing more self-love into your life. And to live a happy and fulfilling life, that is what you must aim to do, always.

What it means to really love yourself

What does it mean to really love yourself?

I find this to be one of the most difficult questions you could ever ask yourself, because loving yourself is such a complex and deep state of being.

In what follows, I offer you my vision of what I think loving yourself really means. It has taken me many years to understand what self-love is, and a number of years more to be able to give myself this kind of love. But once I began, I finally felt free. I had found a new way of being that brought me peace, happiness, and joy. And the magical thing about it is that I didn’t need to search outside of myself to find all that. After a decade-long pursuit of unattainable ideals, the search was finally over. I had found love, deep within me, where it had been waiting for me all along.

Because the magic of self-love is not something that overcomes you, but rather something that you create for yourself, I invite you to do the following. Find a quiet and peaceful spot to sit yourself down, pour yourself some of your favorite tea or make yourself a cup of your best coffee, and unplug yourself from any possible distractions. This exercise will help you to give yourself the time and attention you deserve. Grounding yourself this way, and being fully present for what follows, you are already taking a step towards self-love.

A word of caution is necessary before we move any further. The love I will talk about, and try to untangle and explain for you below, is not the same as romantic love. Of course, it is heart-centered, beautiful, and warm, but it is also much, much more.

Loving yourself means putting yourself first, even being selfish at times, and making sure you are well taken care of by you, yourself... before you even think about taking care of others. It is putting yourself at the heart of everything you do.

Loving yourself also means accepting yourself with all your flaws, all the negative aspects of you, and all the things you don’t really like about yourself. Maybe you procrastinate sometimes, or you get upset when you’d really rather not. Or perhaps you would like to be less emotional or sensitive all the time. Whatever it is, loving yourself means understanding and accepting that you cannot be whole without those sides of you, too.

Loving yourself is showing compassion for the person that you are. And by this, I don’t mean the perfect version of you that you aspire to be, but rather the imperfect version – the real you, as the vulnerable human being that you are.

Yes, loving yourself can be difficult. It requires consistent thought and determined action, especially because it’s so easy to slip back into a state of not loving yourself so much, and of fear, resentment, and even hate. With this in mind, loving yourself is also very courageous, and requires you to be brave and strong, as the process asks you to be honest with yourself and to really look at who you are and what you stand for.

Loving yourself demands that you accept your faults, your mistakes, and all the wrong turns you ever took, along with all of the bad decisions you ever made, and demands that you embrace all of that – with no exceptions – as an integral part of you. Knowing and accepting that you are perfectly imperfect, just as you are.

Loving yourself means being thankful for your body, your mind, your soul, your feelings and emotions, your unique way of seeing the world, your way of interacting with others, and your way of being in the world.

Loving yourself means loving absolutely everything about yourself: the light, the dark, and all the shades in between. It is saying to the universe: look at me, here I am, this is all that I have to offer, all that I am, all of this is me.

And then, after all is said and visible, after taking a good look at yourself in your entirety, it means deciding to befriend, accept, trust, enjoy, protect, grow, and nurture all that you have seen.

To me, that is what loving yourself really means.

But, however beautiful it is to think of you as a complete and self-loving human being, loving yourself is a never-ending journey. Whether you accept your flaws or not, whether you show compassion for yourself or take good care of yourself or not, if self-love is what pulls you forward, that is all you need. And if you don’t at times, even that is okay. Self-love never goes anywhere – it’s always there, ready for you to go back to.

On loss, unlived lives, and becoming who you are

Almost 10 years ago, on August 31st of 2010, my father passed away. Just five weeks earlier, my mother had suddenly died from a heart attack.

As I heard the news of Dr. Wayne Dyer's passing this morning, I could not help but to feel that I had come full circle in a way, and needed to reflect on the road I have traveled since that day.

While emptying my parents' house after their passing, I stumbled upon a book by Dr. Dyer called Your Erroneous Zones. It was the Dutch version of the book, though, and the title read something less mysterious: 'Not tomorrow, but now!' It was one of my mother's' books. One of her many, many self-help books. And like so many others, it was intact, unread, and tucked away on the bookshelf of what could have been her life.

My mother was a broken woman. As the wife of an often difficult man, who was struggling with his own demons, she had learned to be invisible and to bear her pain in silence. But besides being the housewife to a terrible man, she had also been the mother to 3 children who had themselves been bearing the hardship of their upbringing. My mother loved us dearly. And we loved her too, the best we knew how. While we were growing up, she took care of us relentlessly, often shielding us from the worst my father had to offer. But as time went on and we grew older, the sorrow in her eyes grew bigger and the voice of a life that never was became louder and louder. In her head, my mother lived an entirely different life. But from the many books and magazines she left behind, I could make out what an amazing, wide, and bright life she wished to have.

When I stumbled upon Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book a few days after her passing, I was nailed to the ground, overpowered by sadness I had never felt before and have never felt since. This book was the culmination of a life unlived. Its title, urging my mother to take action now, and its condition proof that she had not. I felt helpless, holding my mother’s story in my hands. Her entire life, she had waited. And now she was gone.

It took me years to accept this and overcome the grief that came from it. As I did, I realized that she was not alone in her waiting. There are millions of lives waiting to be lived around us. And I was one of them, until I found that book, and after that myself. That’s why I’ve made it my mission to help women love themselves into change.

Because I see this often. Buying the book is good. It is a first and necessary step towards awakening. But then you have to read the book, listen to the call, act on it, and do the work. Change happens from within. Don’t wait for it to come to you – do it yourself, and do it now! That is what Dr. Dyer has taught me.

At the time of my parents’ passing I was still sound asleep myself. Recovering from the scars of my childhood years and chasing the unattainable ideals I had set for myself, I never took the time to stop and think about my life. I took pain and unhappiness for granted, and I didn’t know there was another way to live. But in that moment, right there when I lifted that book off the bookshelf of my mother’s unlived life, something shifted.

I took the book home and read it from cover to cover that night. It was the first spiritual book I had ever read. With every word, the world appeared clearer to me, changed forever. And in the midst of one of the most horrible experiences of my life, what had looked like an insignificant event became one of the most serendipitous moments of my existence.

Today, I remember my parents’ passing and also mourn the loss of one of the brightest and wisest minds of our time. But as I do, I also say: Thank you, Dr. Dyer, for the words that brought light into my soul, and for the wisdom that showed me the path to another way. I am forever grateful for the journey.