How to say “no” to protect your creative time

“Why did I say “yes” to this thing? What was I thinking?! Why do I keep over-committing myself, and feeling like crap as a result?”  When was the last time you mumbled this to yourself on the way to a commitment you regretted saying “yes” to? Not so long ago, I bet.

When was the last time you said “no” to an opportunity, ask or time-consuming project? “How do I even say do that!?”, you might be wondering. 

Trust me, it IS possible. 

We don’t say “no” because it makes us feel bad, guilty, or worried. “What will people think of me?” How many times have you been asked to do something you REALLY didn’t want to do, but still said “yes”? It happens to creatives and entrepreneurs all the time! And it sure has happened to me many times, too.

In a way, everyone prefers to say “yes”. 

When someone asks us for something we don’t want to disappoint. We’ve been raised to listen to other people’s needs. We’re told that saying “no” might burn bridges, or that it might jeopardise a relationship. If someone is willing to disconnect and ignore you when you say “no” to them, perhaps they needed that “no” the most though…

The truth is: saying “yes” is the easy, people-pleaser response. But it’s not always the best one. At least it’s not the best one for you if you want to protect your creative time. 

After all, there must be a good reason why you’re reading this. You might be a bit of a perfectionist, have high standards, tend to people-please. I’m here to tell you, you shouldn’t do this at the expense of your time, energy and sanity. Chronic fatigue is real and over-working and over-exerting yourself can lead to under-performance in all areas of your life. 

This is not the way to more – or sustainable – productivity.

Prioritise Yourself

You can’t control what other people think and feel but you CAN be in charge of yourself. 

When you have an overwhelming list of to-dos – where do you even start? Trust me, I was there, and I did a lot of trial and error to find tools, tips and tricks that actually work! Whether in life, career, or business. I left the corporate world to pursue a smarter and more sustainable way of living – I followed my dreams because they grew too loud to ignore. 

Uncovering what is sabotaging  your productivity is unique to you (and that’s where I come in). It’s not just about the work anymore, it’s about meaningful and joyful work. It’s about prioritising the right things, and not just any things. It’s about addressing habits that no longer serve you, to make space in your life for what really matters.

Now let’s get back to saying “no”. 

Saying “no” can feel spooky or weird. It may or may not result in hurt feelings. But every time you say “yes” when you *really* want to say “no”, you’re actually saying “no” to yourself. The busier you are with other people’s requests means less time for yourself. At first it might seem like you’re helping others, doing your job or being a team player, but there’s a difference between doing good, and overworking just because you think you have to. 

That’s where you need to differentiate and learn to say “no”. 

Saying “no”

“Let me get back to you on that.”
“It’s not a good time for me right now.” 
“I have a lot on my plate right now, I’m gonna have to pass.” 
(For more ways to say “no” graciously, click here)

We’re all balancing A LOT. When you decide to work overtime, you’re saying “no” to a social life, hobbies, passions, relationships or even your wildest dreams. 

Sometimes, when we get into a cycle of saying “yes” all the time, we are blindsided by the fact we’re saying “yes” to unimportant activities. Granted, some of those activities might be important to others. That doesn’t make them valuable to you. We internalise the idea that by saying “yes”, those requests are important to us as well. When in reality it’s not the request that’s important, but rather the idea that we’re doing something, which in turn makes us believe we’re being productive. (But why, then, aren’t you moving forward on your own dreams?!)

That’s a problem.

By saying “yes” to other people, you’re losing touch with your own needs. With your purpose. It might feel good for a while to be appreciated for your time, energy and talents. But how sustainable is it for you to say “yes” to everybody all the time? The fact is: you will eventually burn out. 

Aim for the Right Target

At work things can get even trickier. If you’re giving out “yesses” too easily, you might end up sacrificing your own ideas, and projects to pursue someone else’s. Is that going to work out for you in the long run? Probably not. By fulfilling someone else’s vision, you’re following someone else’s breadcrumbs, building someone else’s dream… Essentially, you’re going to end up at the wrong house. I know, because I’ve been in front of ugly front doors many times!

Always consider how you invest your time and energy. Whether that’s leading towards a goal or dream you have, or away from the ones you don’t want to take part in. This way, you’ll have time to choose opportunities that align more closely with YOUR goals. The more you do this, the more those opportunities will present themselves – it’s like magic, believe me! 

Say “no” to following the breadcrumbs.
Say “no” to building other people’s dreams.
Say “no” to relationships that are no longer working.

If there isn’t an element of authenticity, or reciprocity, or if you don’t feel deeply connected to giving to someone else, you need to practice the art of saying “no”. 

Did you know? Saying “no” is also a huge productivity hack. 

I’m in the business of getting #SmartWork to as many multi-talented creatives and entrepreneurs as possible (psst that includes you!). Once you start believing that it’s okay to say “no” and how to turn down requests politely, you’ll free up so much time to rest, recuperate and realign to your inner voice, and where you really want to be going. 

After all, we could all use less work, and shorter to do-lists, couldn’t we?

Reclaim Your Time

Time is our most precious resource. We can never get it back.

How we spend our time can often feel like a loss, especially when our heart wasn’t fully into it. We don’t want to *waste* time. But what are we really doing, when we’re spending it on other people’s wishes? That’s not to say we can never be there and help, only that we should do it with care and consideration.

As a professional coach for many years, my clients come to me because they’re fed up with losing so much precious time. What’s the next step? What do I do? How do I reclaim my time? How do I achieve my dreams? Those are some of the common questions I get asked when we start working together. 

Part of it is #SmartWork – how do you get productive without feeling like you’re constantly running out of time and energy? A slice of that pie is learning to say “no”. And knowing that it’s okay.

Would you rather say “yes” and be unhappy? Or “no” and be fulfilled? It’s up to you… Part of it is finding the courage to stand up for yourself. 

In the end, if you’re not saying “yes” to yourself you’re saying it to someone else’s dreams and projects.

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An experiment to try: In the next two weeks, I’d love for you to say “no” to at least three things you usually say “yes” to but then feel resentful about. What shifts are you noticing? Is it getting easier? What other options is this unlocking for you? Let me know x

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How Suzanne beat career anxiety and became a yoga teacher

When Suzanne and I met, we were both enrolled in Marie Forleo’s b-school, back in 2015. I remember a post in the group asking if any b-schoolers were located in Belgium, and sure enough, Suzanne and I were! We quickly connected, and have kept on checking in with each other regularly over the years. It’s been wonderful seeing Suzanne grow into the entrepreneur that she is today. Her soft and gentle nature, intelligence, patience are some of the qualities that I appreciate most in her. Spending time with Suzanne feels like a warm Spring day, where everything flows and is easy. Her courage is undeniable, and her wisdom mountain high. Here’s how she did it.

What was your big dream, and what inspired you to go after it?

I’ve always pictured myself in a successful career, ever since I was a little girl. However, at age 30 I still didn’t know what that was going to look like for me. I was full of anxiety about my career path. When I say successful I mean that in a very personal way, not what it may mean or look like to the rest of society… 

For me it’s about finding balance between all the areas that matter to me: a creative job that gives me purpose and satisfaction, being in control of my schedule, having a lot of free time for all the activities that I enjoy doing, being financially stable and able to support myself and my loved ones, being able to give back, and having the time to take care of my health. 

So being creative, I started countless creative quests: working as an architect, graphic designer, illustrator, furniture designer and maker,… But I could never find the balance or the success that I was looking for. At the time, yoga was the only source of appeasement in my life. 

One day, while sitting on my mat waiting for class to start, I was examining my yoga teacher and she seemed so genuinely happy and relaxed and I had a vision of myself like that. Since that day, the idea had sprouted in my head that maybe I could also teach this amazing practice to others. For some reason, it clicked.

What made me take action on that seemingly crazy new idea was my drive for more purpose, and my frustration with my present life. I’m not the type of person that can just complain about my situation and not do something about it. It may take me awhile to realise what’s wrong, and I may complain in the meantime, but when I know, I need to take action. Because the only alternative would be to start blaming myself or others for my own unhappiness.  But that just leads to no change and feeling bad about yourself.

What could I lose by trying? I guess it’s my strong desire to thrive, feel aligned and find my purpose eventually led me to go after my dream.

Did you always have this dream?

Yes and no, I always had the dream to be an independent and successful woman, but I never knew what that looked like for me. It was hard unpacking the beliefs and ideas that others had for me, the path that others expected of me. But I gained more clarity by trying out all these different jobs and side-projects. 

It’s so easy to think that I wasted years of my life pursuing all these different things but in fact, following all these different paths is what lead me to be where I am today. I needed that clarity. The actual dream of becoming a wellness expert and entrepreneur emerged only a couple of years ago. But the dream of being a boss babe, a strong, fierce independent woman, has always been there.

What was one of the first things you did to get you started?

Research. 

I was practicing yoga but knew nothing about it. The first thing I did was research yoga schools, programs, locations and duration. Overwhelmed with the amount of choice, I decided to go for something practical. I wanted something that I could do quickly, close to home (to limit the budget of traveling) and that had good reviews. I found a yoga ashram in the Netherlands that had a one-month training in Summer and went for it – even though it seemed expensive to me. Even though it used up all of my holiday days. Even though I thought I wasn’t good enough at yoga to be a yoga teacher… 

I had many excuses not to do it: time, finances, my own confidence. It made the goal seem hard or unachievable. But you have to get past the excuses.

So I did, because the voice inside me was telling me to go, and that I would learn and grow and be perfectly imperfect.

When I finally was training at the ashram, for the first time in my life, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be and I could not wait to go home and transmit the wisdom I had learned. I felt so inspired, motivated and full of purpose that I couldn’t wait to start teaching.

I started researching again: this time for spaces to teach yoga!

Anytime I do something, I research it, find what I’m looking for, let it macerate in my head and then take action.

What were the biggest challenges you faced in working toward achieving your dream?

Definitely self-doubt. 

A lot of doubt and questions about my worthiness. Am I good enough to be a yoga teacher? Will I have any students? Will they like my classes? Why aren’t they coming back? I’m tired, maybe I can’t do this? I’m still working full-time, maybe I’m not a real entrepreneur or yoga teacher and so on. 

It takes a lot of motivation and commitment to keep going when you have all these questions running around in your head, or worse, when they’re being voiced by close ones.

Thankfully, having committed myself to my students, I just couldn’t not show up! That accountability is probably what kept me going at times when I felt like staying on my couch 

I was serving others now, it wasn’t about me anymore. All I can say is that out of all those times when I wanted to stay at home, I never once regretted going out to teach. I always came back grateful and filled with so much appreciation and motivation for what I do. Magic happens when you serve your clients and live on purpose.

What do you wish you would have done differently? What would you warn others about?

Putting less pressure on myself. I’m a high-achiever and a perfectionist. I get very impatient. I want results quickly (who doesn’t these days?!).

I would put a lot of pressure on myself to be further than where I was. I thought that I should be running retreats already, doing more workshops, and be trained in this and that. Basically I want to do it all, not giving myself time to enjoy the moment, the newness, the beginning, the journey of being an entrepreneur. 

I would work myself to near exhaustion to be further ahead. That’s not the idea of balance you might think of for a yoga teacher. Ironic isn’t it, that the yoga teacher is burning out? But that was the reality. Thankfully I realised it before it was all too much and I made a mental shift.

I’m now trying to focus on the journey more than the “shoulds” because everything is a process. As time matures wine or cheese, I believe it’s the same with my business. The more experience I get, the better my classes are, which means that more students like them or benefit from them. The bigger my client base is, the easier it becomes to create a workshop or a retreat that will sell out. 

It’s all a process, a journey and this, by definition, needs time. It takes time for people to get to know you and trust you and it also takes time for you to evolve, get clear and learn. So don’t rush things. Accept and enjoy the journey. 

As I say to my yoga students, you’ll only be a beginner once in your yoga journey, so enjoy it.

Would you say you’ve achieved your big dream yet?

Not entirely but I’m certainly getting closer every day. And I am ok with that. 

Because the big dream is also shifting and transforming itself as I grow and get closer. I think my big dream will always be slightly out of my grasp, which is good to keep me thriving but it’s also crucial to notice all that I have accomplished so far. Noticing the distance you’ve traveled is so important because that’s when you realise you’ve probably already reached one or more of your dreams or past versions of it. That’s great and needs to be celebrated. It also builds resilience for the next endeavours.

What do you think helped you achieve it?

Accountability! Having mentors, coaches, building relationships with people going through the same struggles, battles and challenges as I am. Getting support from people that understand and can relate and giving support back. Basically having a community of supporters. This is something you might have to build and create for yourself.

I built a community because I didn’t know any yoga teachers before I embarked on this journey. I had no entrepreneurial friends around me, and certainly no online entrepreneurs. It’s hard to share your ideas and vision with people that just don’t get what you’re talking about. Finding role models, inspiring entrepreneurs, getting a coach or having mentors is so important. Then making your goals public or known to get accountability.

What’s the best advice you have for others who want to follow their big dreams?

Fear will be your biggest frenemy. I say frenemy because fear is good and bad.

Fear lets you know that this dream or project is scary and maybe even risky, but that’s why it’s worth doing. It acts like an indicator of what you should pursue. Fear wants to keep you from going out of your comfort zone but growth and change only happens there. Fear is good because it tells you what will challenge you and make you grow. 

Fear becomes negative when you let it rule you and it keeps you stuck, paralysed, dead in the water. So listen to the fear to let it guide you towards the scary project or dream, then tell it to take a back seat because you’ve got it. Take action asap, even small baby steps because getting into action will help to dissipate the fear or it’s held on you. It will create momentum. 

It’s important that you’re moving forward no matter how slowly or how small the steps are, as long as you’re not staying stuck in fear. This is a mental game. Fear will come back again and again and you have to create the mindset to keep it in check. I believe you can develop this strength with action because it builds your confidence. 

You start believing that you can, in fact, achieve your dream because you’ve already successfully taken steps towards it.

Anything else you’d like to share with us?

Murielle, you’ve been one of my mentors and I thank you so much for your presence, your words and your work. You’re an inspiration to me and I’m sure to many others.

More about Suzanne – simplysueyoga.com

Suzanne Ibrahim-Fay is a multi-passionate creative soul and a caring yoga teacher with big dreams to change the world into a better, happier and healthier place. She loves eating, travelling and outdoor adventures and is dedicated to fighting climate change.

She decided to transition from a career in architecture to one of a yoga teacher after she fell in love with the practice a few years ago and experienced first-hand the restoration and spiritual powers of yoga. Indeed, yoga helped her to overcome some rough emotional times, get through a chronic illness and overall, find more balance and peace in her life, while getting fitter and happier. Having never felt as good as she did now, she knew that if yoga could transform her life it could transform so many others’ lives too and she wanted to be a part of that. 

Suzanne’s favourite quote is:

My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

– Maya Angelou

Suzanne’s big dream for the world is:

I dream of a world where all beings are treated equally. Where women are strong, fierce, playful, and respected. Where all girls can get an education. Where our Mother Earth is preserved and loved for everything she gives us. Where every human being feels loved, free, safe and at peace. I want to help spread love, compassion, fulfilment and health to as many as I can, because I believe that when we’re at peace with ourselves we can create a world that reflects that. I believe that we have to work on ourselves first to be able to serve others from our state of highest being. Only when we’ll find inner peace will the world we live in be at peace too.

If you want more inspiring stories, I’ve got great news for you! This story is part of an interview series, you can find all entries here.

How Deirdre overcame burnout and started the wellness magazine Self.ly

Deirdre and I initially connected after she signed up for my Free Smart Work™ Challenge. When she did, she was in big career transition, and wanted to start a business to help professionals prevent burnout through self-care. What inspires me most about Deirdre is her never-ending enthusiasm, her incredible creativity, and the passion she has for her project. It’s been a joy working with her, and supporting her in achieving her dream. Here’s how she did it.

What was your big dream, and what inspired you to go after it?

I want to end burnout in the workplace and make workplaces more human so people can be at their creative best. My own experience of burnout, after working myself to exhaustion in my previous fast-paced job, inspired me to understand what had happened to me. 

I wanted to know how I went from energetic, positive, and creative to overwhelmed, and stressed out. This made me understand the need for self-care and wellness in the workplace, and what ultimately led me to create Self.ly – a platform dedicated to the wellbeing of professionals.

Did you always have this dream?

No. It arose out of my own burnout experience, which illustrated to me that the current workplace is not fit for purpose. What happened to me is not an isolated event. Our work environments are not equipped to take the “person” into account, and the needs we have. 

Stress reduction, a sense of purpose, inspiring work… it’s not often there. When it is, it’s not always readily available or it gets counterbalanced by even more pressure to perform. Something has to change. 

What was one of the first things you did to get you started?

I enlisted as coach. I wanted an accountability partner, sounding board and support mechanism as setting up a business is a daunting proposition when you’re emerging from burnout and you’ve lost confidence somewhat.

What were the biggest challenges you faced in working toward achieving your dream?

Mindset – having the positivity, focus and self-belief to translate a wish into a website, an online magazine and an online community. Entrepreneurship is a journey. You start out with passion, and a desire to create change. Even though you “know” things might get tough at times, you’re never fully prepared for when doubt hits, or when the results you’re hoping for are taking longer to manifest. 

That’s why mindset is so important. Staying optimistic and believing in your project, adjusting expectations along the way. 

What do you wish you would have done differently? What would you warn others about?

I underestimated the amount of time things really take. It’s also all-consuming so I had to start practicing what I preach and look at pace and build in regular recovery time; something that’s particularly important when you’re engaged in creative tasks like writing or planning. It’s easy to get sucked into the “work longer, harder, faster” fallacy and burnout. So building in regular breaks and making sure to build connections and talk to like-minded entrepreneurs who are going through the same frustrations and trials has been vital to maintaining momentum.

This notion of overnight success is an urban legend, and very misleading. If you’re starting something new, expect a long and challenging journey. I’ve had to revise my expectations around monetary growth. You have to believe in yourself – believe in your ideas, your abilities, your will and perseverance, and dedication. And that makes you want to live your life your way and not anyone else’s way.

Would you say you’ve achieved your big dream yet?

I’ve done what I set out to do, which is to get my magazine established. I would say I’ll have achieved my goal when I see active change as a result of the magazine and online programs. 

Self.ly was created to really help move the needle when it comes to self-care and burnout prevention in the workplace. I know there’s still a lot of work to do, and for the dream to be complete a paradigm shift needs to happen. We have to redefine work, and make the worker center stage. 

What do you think helped you achieve it?

You were instrumental in allowing me to see a feasible path forward and establishing a framework and milestones for achievable growth. It’s important to speak to someone who has gone through the process and is familiar with it.

The fact that I wanted to create real change also helped. When you’re passionate about something, you can put all your talents and creativity into building it. 

What’s the best advice you have for others who want to follow their big dreams?

Stick with your gut – you have to go at your own pace and listen to your own instincts.

Don’t underestimate the importance of incremental improvements – Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t compare yourself with business owners who have been at this for 10 years. You’ll get there at your own pace, in your own time.

More about Deirdre and Self-ly  – https://www.self-ly.com/

Deirdre is the Founder and CEO of Self.ly. The platform is a lifestyle media brand and supportive community dedicated to making self-care simple and accessible for busy executives, entrepreneurs, business leaders and healthcare professionals. An antidote to hustle culture, Self.ly provides the information, tips, latest trends and advice to show you how to avoid burnout and overwhelm and raise your energy, performance and mental health and wellbeing.

Don’t hesitate to get in touch with Deirdre! She loves connecting with people from around the world. You can do so through her website at  https://www.self-ly.com/

Deirdre’s favourite quote is:

Build yourself brick by brick

– Tom Bilieu

Deirdre’s big dream for the world is:

I want to help create mentally and emotionally healthy and human workplaces where individuals can flourish and organisations can prosper.

If you want more inspiring stories, I’ve got great news for you! This story is part of an interview series, you can find all entries here.

5 easy steps to set successful goals for yourself

Happy New Year! I absolutely love those three words, don’t you? They come bearing the gift of opportunity, and the promise of 365 days to create whatever your heart desires. A clean slate for you to play with, reinvent yourself, achieve your wildest dreams.

I’ve always had big dreams, and goals but it’s only in the last few years that I’ve become really intentional about achieving them. Every year I find that I’m perfecting my goal-setting techniques, rituals, and habits. And every year, I’m achieving more of what I want. So much so, that I created a goal-setting course called Dream Bigger that you can join here.

This program guides you through the process of dreaming big, and setting fulfilling goals for yourself, all the way to creating an actionable – and achievable – plan!

The amazing results that students have achieved using the program, and reflecting on my own successes, proves to me that nothing is impossible!

What really matters is not what your goals are, but how you set them.

So here’s 5 easy steps to set successful goals for yourself!

#1 Reflect and learn

If you don’t know what you’re doing wrong or right, you will never be able to use that knowledge to grow. So the first step when setting successful goals for yourself is to reflect on your successes and failures of the year that has passed. What goals did you achieve? What went well? What didn’t? And from that to distill some lessons learned that will help you to move forward faster in the new year, or to avoid the mistakes you made last year.

#2 Write, and dream big!

Planning your goals for the new year is like doing a gigantic brain dump. You want to get everything you want to accomplish, and achieve over the next 12 months out of your head and onto paper. The important thing here is to be as complete as possible and not to censor yourself. You have a permission slip to dream big. At this stage you don’t want to make your life dream realistic, you want make it really fantastic!

#3 Cut, cut, cut

If you’re familiar with the 80/20 principle you know that according to that principle 20 percent of what we do in life (and business) accounts for 80 percent of the results we achieve. Applied to goal-setting this means that less is definitely more! So review the list you’ve created for yourself in step 2, and identify the goals or actions that you either don’t really want to go for, or that will not bring in the returns you’re going for. Make sure to feel into your goals when you do this exercise, and to dismiss anything that doesn’t feel right for you. Ask yourself questions such as: How do I want to feel this year? Is this goal helping me do that? Do I really want this? What desire lies behind this goal or action? Is this the best way to achieve it?

#4 Organize

Once you know the goals you’re going to work towards this year, it’s time to get organized and structure your goals by creating a plan for yourself. You can do this in any number of ways, with Nathalie McNeal’s 5×5 quadrant for instance, or by organizing your goals per quarter, month, week, or even day. Whatever system you’re using, make sure you’ve got a clear overview of what it is you’re trying to achieve, create visual cues for yourself (hang your plan onto the refrigerator, on the wall in your office, in the bathroom…) to be reminder of your goals daily, cultivate action-oriented habits, and use planning tools to help you work on your goals throughout the year.

#5 Schedule, and keep yourself accountable

And finally… schedule. What gets scheduled, gets done. Have weekly check-ins to review your goals, and plan ahead. Put all your action steps in your calendar, and set deadlines for yourself. Don’t be afraid to keep yourself accountable, because that’s precisely what you need to reach your goals. And if going at it alone is too difficult, find yourself an accountability partner. Have regular check-ins with her, say what you’re working on, what you’ll do by when, and stick to it. The results you’ll achieve will be nothing short of a miracle, I promise you!

Why every freelancer needs self-care (and how to start)

You’ve leaped off the edge of the 9-5 and into the digital nomad or freelance lifestyle – or freedom lifestyle as I like to call it. You went from schedule to no schedule, from many bosses to you being the boss hot sauce. This jump might have been thrilling, but now you’re on the brink of exhaustion, fighting off the stresses and anxiety of the freelance world. 

From working sporadic hours while listening to the news, or watching YouTube and researching for your next client, keeping up with your habits and your time can border on a traffic jam or Titanic level crash. Putting your health and body first can be a struggle when everything else seems important, to the detriment of your work performance. (Perhaps you’re still in the dreaming phase of becoming a freelancer, and want to overcome the career change fear, if this is the case I wrote about that here.)

How to Self-Care as a Freelancer

Freelancing can easily lead to overwhelm, anxiety, loss of sleep, and even burnout. No clients or overwhelmed from too many clients? Exhausted from trying to juggle all of the elements of your freelance job? The list is endless: cold calls, responding to leads, marketing activities, writing and sending out newsletters, social media scheduling, meetings, networking… 

To enjoy the freelance lifestyle you need a schedule, priorities, ways to delegate, and tools and resources to help you navigate the trenches on the daily. Create daily and weekly goals, organize your tasks according to a schedule and use deadlines, both soft and hard ones and, most importantly, self-care all parts of your mind, body, and soul.  

Mind

One of the main elements of freelancing is that you’re working in isolation. It can be difficult to maintain connection with people when you work from home, or a coffee shop. Try not to neglect your family and social life. Isolation, both for freelancers and entrepreneurs in general, is a huge and common challenge. It’s hard to nurture strong relationships when you’re either not in the same location as other people (perhaps after work) or in a slump working from home (can’t seem to get out of those PJs huh?). 

Work is work, and as freelancers it’s easy to get overwhelmed by all the things we have to do or underwhelmed by how slow the process is to get things off the ground. Make sure you prioritize your social support (schedule it if you need to). Work will always be there, but friends and family are important, both during good times and the more challenging ones. Don’t neglect the people around you. Call, text, send an email, check in with your people regularly! 

Apart from a social life try to include some form of mind work into your days: meditate, breathe, reflect, journal. And remember, always make your bed.

Body

Nutrition and physical activity are essential for freelancers. From maintaining a balanced diet, to moods, preventing chronic disease, and boosting positive emotions. You can’t work your best if your body can’t work its best. Often, we don’t take self-care seriously until we experience a serious health setback. Make sure you’re planning your meals and not breaking the bank buying fast food meals. This does twice the damage – processed meals and spending too much money. Why not try a meal planning app like Mealtime, Food planner, or Paprika? Be sure to supplement and balance with lots of natural foods and water, and try to minimize the amount of sugar. Sugar cravings can happen, and it’s a habitual trigger from anxiety, or even from skipping meals or low blood sugar. 

Slow down, take your breaks, go for walks, get off the bus one stop earlier, or sneak in YouTube videos on yoga, or simple at-home exercises (as safely as possible!). The other important thing about self-care is having a good healthcare plan. 

Be proactive and maintain your breaks for the gym, walk outside, eat nutritious food, maintain a healthy diet and get sleep. Don’t procrastinate all day, only to stay up all night to get a gig done. Sleep is one of the most vital things to ensure well-being and mental focus. 

Soul

Whether you’re a freelancer or a digital nomad, self-care is about a nourishing type of discipline (and not the punishing kind). The mind and body like routine and habit, while the soul requires more depth. All it takes is one step, and one plan to get going. Keep distractions at bay. Create a soulful work environment that helps you feel good AND succeed. Know yourself and spend time to reflect about where you are and if you’re heading in the direction you want. You can’t know until you sit quietly and listen to that inner knowing. 

Build self-awareness through stillness. This will help you to know what you tend to do, what your triggers are and how you react to situations. Becoming intimate with yourself like that will help you grow, and reach new heights.

In the end, be realistic and make sure you’re creating healthy boundaries in this new work environment, and say no. 

At first it might feel very tempting to say yes to any and all clients (and that’s okay when you have bills to pay) but do not bend your freelancing values just to accommodate everybody else first, including leads and clients. This might take a toll on your health. 

Be proactive about your freelance self-care. Whether it’s a 10-minute meditation in the morning or turning off all your electronics after 7 pm and taking a bath. 

Freelance self-care always starts with your well-being and the choices you make. Make sure to develop the self-trust necessary for stepping into your own power. In the end, if you’re not feeling well it’s going to be difficult for you to maintain that freelance lifestyle you dreamed of – and that you now finally have.

The life-changing power of doing things slowly

Can you remember a time when you did something so slowly you really got to enjoy it and build a memory? (Using a phone doesn’t count!)

While I was tying up the final bits and pieces of my From Overwhelm to Flow Training (it took me close to 8 weeks to write it) – something incredible happened. I had an epiphany. A *real* moment of awareness. The kind that knocks you off your feet, makes you think you’re dreaming and leaves you wondering what just happened.

This labor of love (and sweat, blood, and tears – OK just that first one but you can’t blame a writer for wanting to add a dash of drama, now can you?) is everything I know about achieving flow, soul, and ease both in your personal life as well as your work. The best part? A free 7-day life (and sanity) saver is waiting for you. Sign-ups happen over here.

Where was I? Oh yes, it all happened in the blink of an eye.

I was walking back from the kitchen to my desk, a cup of hot coffee in my hand. Suddenly it hit me: I’d finally done it! I’d turned this idea that had been swirling around in my head for a long time into 30,000(-ish) carefully thought out, and actionable words.

Although this isn’t the first time I’ve written a course or training, something was different. For the first time in my life, I’d taken the time to create – slowly. Not rush my way through the process, but pacing myself. This is big, because I’m programmed for the opposite…

Fast-paced.
Always on.
Working against the clock.

Looking back, that’s how I spent a big part of (probably most) of my adult life. Especially when business and work are concerned.

Stressed-out.
Always in a hurry.
Feeling as if the clock was always working against me.

There was never a moment to rest, let alone gather to my thoughts.

A lot of people will tell you this is one of my strengths. Early in my career those same traits often qualified me as ambitious. The first time someone said that of me I didn’t *understand* what it meant. In fact, I felt a little insulted, with the people-pleasing perfectionist in me needing CPR. Together with her, we decided that we didn’t like the word. So we dismissed it as an oddity. Not something that applied to me.

All the while I kept doing. More. And more. And more.

Then, the epiphany. As I was making my way back to my desk, ready to sit down, hot coffee in hand. There it was. I’d done something I loved doing, and I’d taken the time to do it.

Slowly. Without feeling guilty. Without giving up on other things for it.

In what must have been a fraction of a second, my life played out in front of me like a movie. My father working relentlessly, me copycatting that behaviour, the many months and years spent trying to achieve an absurd idea of success and equating my worth with it. But also: the pressure, anxiety, fears and limiting beliefs that accompanied me everywhere I went.

Always on. Fast-paced. Working against the clock.

It was unsustainable. Hard. Not to mention doomed to fail. What so many had mistaken for ambition. *Ouch*

I was stuck in the tyranny of the endless to-do list, the hamster wheel of relentless productivity, the never-ending and exhausting cycle of overwork and perfection. Perhaps you are too…

Since 2010 I’ve been on a journey back to sanity. It took me to so many places.

Mindfulness training.
Transcendental meditation practice.
Yoga.
Self-love.
Self-care.
Daily journaling.
Reading – lots of reading.
Minimalism.
Essentialism.
All those other -isms I can’t think of right now.

They’ve all been important pieces of the puzzle, for many different reasons. They also all have one thing in common: they’ve taught me to SLOW DOWN. So I can…

be in the now,
give my mind a break,
feel my body,
receive unconditional love,
organize my thoughts,
learn what matters most,
have more space to be,
have more time to live,
let go of what doesn’t serve me,
do so many other amazing things.

Slowing down is beautiful and powerful.

In fact, it might well be the biggest secret to success I’ve ever learned. The one that allows time and space to be part of everything I do. That says it’s OK to take my time, to think, to create bit by bit.

Fast is a lie that will cost you money – like when you redo your website three times in two years because you’re still figuring out your brand (true story). Will stress you out – like when you give yourself an unattainable deadline simply because you picked that date and won’t change it now (I mean, you know). Will lead to bad decisions, big mistakes, and in the end a hell of a lot of freakin’ wasted time.

So many of us (I’m one of them) underestimate what we can accomplish over longer periods of time yet SYSTEMATICALLY overestimate what we can accomplish in shorter ones.

The truth is: slow will get you further.

By starting with the notion that creating needs tending, that beautiful things take time to grow, that we can only nurture – not force – anything into being, we give ourselves something invaluable.

The gift of slow

Today I want to invite you to make a small inventory of the most wonderful things you wish for in your life but are hesitant to get started with. Ask yourself if the gift of slow could help. Imagine you had all the time in the world to accomplish them (which you LITERALLY have, that’s the whole point of this essay :)).

What would you get started with?

PS: Don’t forget to sign up for the Free Smart Work™ Challenge. It will help you to take things slowly too.

How Katherine started her own bookkeeping business & became a money mentor

Katherine and I initially connected online. I loved Katherine’s bubbly personality from the start. When I needed someone to look at the numbers of a start-up I was building, she’s the one I turned too. I felt so supported knowing that she was on the team. Katherine does have a way with money! Ever since, it’s been a joy connecting with her, and watching her revolutionize the accounting world one business at a time. Here’s the story of how she started her own bookkeeping business and became a Money Mentor.

What was your big dream, and what inspired you to go after it?

It’s my mission to help 3 million people retire rich. Which is ironic, since I never cared about money when I was younger. Instead, I was focused on making an impact with my art, and talents as an actress and director. 

When I started pursuing this dream professionally, however, I felt I’d been lied to. The work itself was fulfilling, but not one of my mentors had prepared me for the financial challenges of being self-employed. I soon discovered my mentors couldn’t have prepared me because they struggled with these things too! So, I set out to learn about money. The more I did, the more ambitious I became.

I learned that money is a language to master, that it has the creative energy to build on itself, and that it’s possible to stop fighting money and instead make it a teammate. I learned this process was surprisingly easy and enjoyable, but no one – and I mean no one – gives you this critical education in school. Which is why if you pull back the curtain, almost everyone, in every industry, is struggling with money.

That’s the most important thing I learned: money problems aren’t limited to creatives! So I decided I’d had enough and wanted to tackle this problem head on.

That’s why I started my own accounting firm. I wanted to move the needle just 1%. I want to help a mere 1% more Americans (the only country I’m licensed to work!) kick their money woes and retire comfortably. 

At the time I made that goal, 1% of America was 3 million people. That’s how my big dream of helping 3 million people retire rich was born.

Did you always have this dream?

No way! As an artist, I always wanted to inspire hearts and minds, but I never dreamed that a single topic would inspire me so much or that I’d change my life’s work to pursue it.

What was one of the first things you did to get you started?

I invested in my education. I’m a graduate of Ben Robinson’s Bookkeeper Business Launch. I credit Ben with how I think about bookkeeping and client relationships. All my tax work, writing, and coaching have grown from this bookkeeping foundation.

What were the biggest challenges you faced in working toward achieving your dream?

When I started, I really, truly thought that I was going to acquire all this tax knowledge, teach it to my clients, and “BOOM!” the problem would be solved and we’d all have successful, profitable companies to brag about.

But education is not implementation. My first clients had cleaner books but weren’t changing their money habits.

Changing money habits is hard to do! Money is an emotional topic for many people. We not only need to master an outer monetary system, but also master our inner thoughts and emotions about at. This inner relationship with money becomes ingrained in us as children, and every friend, partner, and the bill we pay either reinforce this relationship or will bring us into conflict with it.

Owning up to this relationship and learning to tackle my own “money blocks” was the first step. Then, I had to learn how to pair money mindset coaching with my growing financial expertise. This was how the Chaos Money Framework was born.

The Framework keeps us accountable. Because it’s challenging to accept that “wealth” and “success” are not static achievements. I need the Chaos Money Framework to help me choose and walk my wealth journey every day.

What do you wish you would have done differently? What would you warn others about?

I wish I had slowed down.

I made the new business owner mistake of focusing only on growth and income. This meant I chased every shiny tool, coach, or course who could take me to the “next level.” (All the while telling my clients to act differently – the hypocrisy!)

But if I had focused more on the clients in front of me – if I had treated them as the only important thing in the world – I would have achieved better results overall. I would have figured out some things faster. Most importantly though, I would have helped more people.

I would caution others who are looking outside of themselves for answers. 

Copying other people’s business only encourages comparison and imposter syndrome. It’s better to slow down, focus on the work at hand, and develop your own system with the resources available to you.

I’d encourage them not to chase income, but rather measure metrics that support your own mission and values (like repeat customers, profitability, or the success you help clients achieve). Only look to change your system when it helps you improve one of these metrics and stop caring what caring about what’s “expected” in your industry.

Would you say you’ve achieved your big dream yet?

Uh oh! Remember what I said earlier about achievements?

In all seriousness, yes. I’ve achieved some incredible things since I started.

As my impact grows, my clients’ impact grows, and as their impact grows new jobs and new investments are created. Each one gets me closer to the 3 million marks!

What do you think helped you achieve it?

Oh, my Money Map! Definitely!

That’s what I call the unique mix of financial reports you use to lead your business. Everyone’s Money Map will be different and that’s actually the purpose of the Chaos Money Framework. The Framework helps you break down big goals into actionable milestones. Then we turn those milestones into – wait for it – a map! You can follow this Money Map to reach your goals.

I’m my own customer here because Money Mapping really works. I also have an incredible coach to hold me accountable, a team to support the work I do, and I’ve invested heavily in my marriage and personal relationships. 

Everything’s harder if you’re trying it alone!

What’s the best advice you have for others who want to follow their big dreams?

Set a big, scary goal. You have permission.

But don’t try to tackle that goal everyday. It’ll be too overwhelming. Just let the big goal float around in the back of your head.

Instead, slow down. Ask yourself “What’s the very next step?”

Also pick out the smallest, tiniest, so-simple-it’s-easy next step. (Like clicking send on that email or taking that receipt from your purse to your desk). Do only that step.

Then identify the tiny step after that. Do that. Identify and execute each tiny step, over and over, until you’re getting to work naturally and you don’t have to think about it anymore.

Big goals create too much pressure, but tiny tasks are easy. Tiny tasks also add up fast! It’s getting started that’s the hardest.

More about Katherine – www.bookkeepingartist.com

Katherine is a money mentor for creative entrepreneurs. She can transform you from a stressed solopreneur into the money-savvy CEO of your own online empire. She specializes in Taxes and Business Entities, Profit Strategy and Business Growth, Bookkeeping, Workflow, and Productivity.

Don’t hesitate to get in touch with Katherine! She loves connecting with women from around the world. You can do so through her website at bookkeepingartist.com 

Katherine’s favourite quote is:

Imagination is only intelligence having fun.
– George Scialabba

Katherine’s big dream for the world is:

To persist joyfully along my unique path of creative and financial freedom. To lead and inspire others to do that same.

If you want more inspiring stories, I’ve got great news for you! This story is part of an interview series, you can find all entries here.