Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
I Want to Start my Own Business, But I Can't Decide on an Idea. What Should I do?
Starting your own business can be a daunting task. But what if you can't even decide on an idea? This is a common problem for many people who want to create their careers. It certainly is a question I get asked a lot by my clients. They have many ideas, no idea, a combination of fears, lack of experience, or blocks holding them back.
How do you get started when you need help deciding what idea to pick?
This is one of the most challenging steps in the entrepreneurial journey, but you can do it. You might have too many ideas or none; perhaps you're overthinking every option until you cancel it without ever taking action. Or maybe - like the creative generalists that I see in my coaching practice - you want to do it all, get super excited by all your amazing ideas, but are quickly overwhelmed after that until your ideas die a slow and agonizing death, and you're back to square one.
If any of this applies to you, I want you to know that you're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with you. You're not crazy, delusional, a daydreamer, or procrastinator. You just haven't been shown the right way to find and develop a business idea that is right for you. You're stuck.
Finding a business idea to settle on.
Even the most indecisive or unsure person can find the clarity to start. I know because that's what I help creatives and entrepreneurs do every day. Let me help you get unstuck and move forward: here are five tips to help you figure out which business idea is best for you.
1. Take some time to reflect and brainstorm - Slowing down is not the strongest trait of creatives and entrepreneurs, and indeed not of multi-passionate creatives (creative generalists). We love to start immediately because we have this creative fire that we need to take action and move forward. This is the most crucial reason we must reflect, brainstorm, and give our ideas some room to take shape.
Whether you have too many ideas or need a clearer one, start writing. Take some time to sit down with yourself and write down everything you've ever considered could be a business, any idea you've ever got excited about, no matter how outlandish they may seem. Only discard possibilities once you've written them down and have taken the time to analyze them one by one. Think about what would make each idea successful or why it could fail. Also, ponder how excited you would be and for how long when developing this idea. This will help you narrow down your choices and clarify which ideas to pursue and which ones to put aside for now.
2. Speak with people in the industry - The worst thing you can do with an idea is to keep it to yourself. This doesn't mean you must tell everyone everything about what you want to do (you do want to be careful with your intellectual property), but you must start talking to people. Speak with mentors, advisors, and peers in the industry who could provide insight into what they think of your idea, help you refine it, and ensure it's viable.
This is the start of your market research. Ask for advice and opinions about your different ideas and what could be done to make them successful. Survey people, call businesses doing something similar, and ask them what their business is like, their challenges, and their great successes. This can provide different perspectives that may give you new insights into which idea will work best for you and whether or not you enjoy building a business with that focus. Knowing what we don't want is as valuable as knowing what we do want. Don't be afraid to act on that feeling; I've said no to many ideas I was first super excited about after talking to people in the industries I was looking to enter.
3. Assess the joy and stress factor of each idea - Before you get too excited about any business idea, assess its joy and stress factors. How much time do you need to start up? What kind of return can you expect after investing time, energy, and effort into developing it? Is this something that you're willing to do?
For your answer to these questions to be helpful, you must answer as truthfully and honestly as possible. Reflect on what is crucial for you and what you'd consider a wonderful life and perfect day. Make sure the idea you select fits in with that vision. If you need a lot of free time, it might not be the wisest idea to start a business that requires you to always be on call. Having clarity of what you need to be happy and fulfilled will help you make better decisions, to make them more quickly and with greater confidence.
4. Consider your skills and interests - Following the previous point, when looking for an idea, consider the skills and interests that you have. You don't need to be an expert to pursue a business or career, but it will make life much easier if you can focus on something that you already have some knowledge or experience in or are excited to learn.
Look at what other businesses are doing and see how they've made things work. Ask yourself if you have the suitable skill set and interests to do something similar or if it would require too much of a learning curve to making it worthwhile. Researching this can help provide answers as to what might fit best for you or where there may be potential gaps in the market that need filling. You could be passionate about a particular topic or want to develop specific skills by starting a business around them; anything! What's important here is to ask yourself whether this business would bring you pleasure, fulfillment, and satisfaction over time without boring the hell out of you.
3. Start a project - Don't just sit around and wait for the perfect business idea or opportunity to fall into your lap. Instead, take action by starting one of your projects right away. This doesn't mean you need to quit your day job immediately (although it's not entirely off the cards either). It means working on something small but real at least once a week (bonus points for every additional day) so that you can start getting feedback from your market and build momentum.
By taking small steps over time, you'll gain the clarity you need to know this is the idea you want to go for: are you enjoying yourself? Do you find the process enjoyable? Can you sustain it? Do people buy your product or service (this is the proof of concept you want, even if it's only a few sales or a small amount)?
Whichever idea you select, ensure it resonates with who you are and what you want to create. And always remember that the best way to find out is by getting started. You cannot think yourself into anything. Eventually, you have to go out and do it!
Unsure of the next steps to starting your business?
Many people feel lost when starting their own business. I offer private coaching services to help you get started on the right foot. I'll work with you one-on-one to help you develop an idea, create a plan of action, and start making progress toward your goals.
You'll have the support of a professional coach every step of the way, who will answer any questions and guide you as needed. With my help, you can finally take control of your future and achieve success on your terms.
Boredom Versus Resistance: How to Know When to Quit?
Creative generalists (multi-passionate creatives) are a rare breed. We have more than one passion, and we don't want to choose just one path in life. But when boredom starts creeping in, it can be challenging to keep up the momentum of being creative or pursuing one or more of our interests. Resistance is often mistaken for boredom, but there's a difference between the two that you should know about if you're multi-passionate like many of my clients and me! In this article, I'll explore boredom versus resistance so you know when to quit on something and when it's time to push through and stay motivated.
Do you ever feel like giving up? Like all your efforts pointless? You're not alone! This feeling is known as boredom. It's when we no longer find a project or passion interesting enough to continue with. Often, we've reached what we came for in that project, job, or interest (usually some form of skill or new knowledge). We got what we wanted from it, so why would we want to keep going?
A new definition of done
We immerse ourselves into playing the guitar diligently every day for two years and then one day put the instrument to the side to not pick it up again for years. Or we decide we want to know everything there is to know about YouTube marketing, create the channel, buy all the courses, post a ton of videos, and suddenly decide to move on to something else.
Why do we do this? For most, finishing means an external endpoint, not for creative generalists. It's more an internal feeling of being done (bored) with something than anything else, often when, to the outside world, we don't seem done at all.
On the other hand, resistance shows up when something is important to us, when we're hitting on what matters most or makes us come alive. It's an inner feeling of not wanting to do something, even though we know deep down we want to or we should, often disguised as stress, anxiety, or fear.
Is it boredom or resistance?
For creative generalists, boredom is the internal feeling of not wanting to do something anymore because it feels like a chore when we've reached what we want from that project, job, or interest and feel no need to push through anymore.
On the other hand, resistance is a biological and evolutionary response to things that are important to us. It's a protection mechanism that is rooted in our fight-or-flight response. What resistance wants is for everything to stay the way it is. So although boredom and resistance can feel pretty much the same, they're each other's opposites! Boredom is a gentle nudge that you need change; resistance is a - often much harder - blow that you want things to stay the same, precisely when you should be moving forward!
Resistance is when we should push through boredom or whatever else we're feeling - fear, lack of self-confidence, doubt, self-loathing, procrastination - and continue with what we're doing for some other, more profound reason. It's that feeling of "I don't want to do this, but I just know it's the right thing for me" because it matters more than anything else in your life right now.
How to know the difference between boredom and resistance?
Knowing the difference between boredom and resistance can help you understand when to quit something and when to push through. Boredom means it's time for a change, while resistance is the only way we can get back in touch with what matters most right now.
If you're not sure whether you're experiencing boredom or resistance, here are some questions to ask yourself:
What is my goal with this project, job, or interest?
Have I reached that goal?
Do I still find this project, position, or interest interesting?
Why do I want to quit?
What would happen if I did leave?
Would I regret quitting later?
Answering these questions can help you determine whether you're experiencing boredom or resistance. If you're bored, it might be time to move on to something new. But if you're feeling resistance, it's probably because there's something vital that you need to do! Instead of quitting, take stock of what's going on emotionally. How are you feeling? What is that telling you about what you're trying to resist?
When to quit?
There's no shame in admitting that you're bored of something or ready for something new. It doesn't mean that you're a quitter or not good at it. It means that you've reached a point where you no longer want to continue with that project, job, or interest. And that's perfectly okay!
In summary, here's how to know when to quit:
The critical difference between boredom and resistance is that boredom feels like the project or job has become too easy. You've learned everything you wanted or needed to know from it, so the boredom feeling is our body telling us to move on and try something new.
Resistance happens when we're doing something important to us, or that needs our attention for other reasons. It feels like, "I don't want to do this, but I have to because it matters more than anything else."
If you're not sure whether you're experiencing boredom or resistance, refer to the questions above to find more clarity.
The most important thing to remember about being ready to move on to something else like a (multi-passionate) creative or entrepreneur is that your cut-off point, when you're "ready" with something, will often be different from that of other, more specialist people. So it's useless to mirror your actions to what they would do. They don't have your multi-passionate brain, and they're not you. How could you then know what you need or what is suitable for you?
So if you're feeling bored, it might be time to move on. But if you're feeling resistance, it's probably because there's something important that you need to do! Push through and see what happens!
Feeling stuck in your career or business?
You're not alone. Many people find themselves at a crossroads, not sure what to do next. That's where I come in - I'm a career and business coach with almost ten years of experience helping people figure out their next steps.
Quit your job? Start your own business? There are many options, and it can be tough to know which one is right for you. That's where I come in – I can help you figure out what to do next and put together a plan to help you achieve your goals.
10 Rules You Need to Break in Business to be Successful
"Rules are made to be broken." It's a famous quote from the movie Scarface, and after being an entrepreneur for more than two decades, I've come to believe it couldn't be more accurate. Imagine for one second if Steve Jobs never had any rules about what he should or shouldn't do, Apple would have never been born. The same could be said for Bill Gates with Microsoft, Richard Branson with Virgin Airlines, and even Walt Disney when he started his empire. These are not just business success stories; they're inspirational tales of how these people found their way in life by doing things differently than everyone else.
So you want to start your own business? That's great! You're about to embark on a life-changing journey that will undoubtedly shape the way you think, see and experience everything. But before you get started, there are some rules (or should I say "beliefs") that you need to break to succeed.
Just because something's been done one way for years or even decades doesn't mean you have to do it the same way. The next time someone says "you can't," challenge them and think of a better idea than what they just proposed. They'll be so surprised at your creativity that they might change their mind and let you do it anyway.
Breaking rules is all about doing things differently.
In business, you will face obstacles and challenges designed to stop you from succeeding. It's a rule of thumb in life: the bigger your dreams get, the more people who want to see you fail. So don't give up on yourself just because something didn't work out right this time. If you can't break one rule, then break two instead (but not all of them - just the ones that are getting in your way).
After more than 20 years in business, here are 10 rules I've had to learn to break to up-level, breakthrough, and achieve lasting success:
Rule 1: Follow the rules.
No, there is no rule book; that's the thing! It's all up to you. You can do whatever you want in your business (it's yours) and still be wildly successful. It's great to have a few rules to get you started, but once you get the hang of them, use your creativity to play with them, bend or even break them.Rule 2: Choose a strategy and stick with it.
No, strategies are great, but choosing the wrong one can lead straight to bankruptcy and failure in business. You're always one choice away from an entirely new business. Remember that, especially when things get tough. It's not because you decided on a strategy that you have to stick with. Examining, assessing, and pivoting to a better approach is an essential quality to be successful in business.Rule 3: The customer is always right.
No, this couldn't be further from the truth. The customer is usually wrong. It's your job to figure out what they need, not what they want, which are two very different things. Also, the time is gone that customers could treat you like sh*t just because they spent some money on your business. Money doesn't buy your customer a wildcard to be an asshole; it only buys them your products or services.Rule 4: Hire for knowledge.
No, this is not a great rule because people can always learn new things, but you can't change someone's (shitty) character or mindset. Don't hire for knowledge; hire for attitude, value system, and how someone stands in the world. Hiring for attitude will benefit you, your company, and your team in the long run.Rule 5: Protect your ideas.
No, if you never speak about your ideas to anyone, you'll never know if they'll work or get support to work them out. I believe the more you talk about your ideas, the more they're shaped and the easier it becomes to turn them into a business or project. Also, do you realize how hard it is to turn an idea into a business? This quote says that "5% is inspiration and 95% is perspiration". Remember this next time you're questioning whether or not to share what you've been thinking about starting. Of course, if you need to, have them sign an NDA first. But do share.Rule 6: You need a business degree.
No, as a multi-passionate creative, you have everything you need inside of yourself already, so let's get started! An MBA or business degree might kill your creativity and make you less innovative. There are so many great books, courses, and even YouTube mentors around these days. Everything you need to know to become a successful entrepreneur is just a mouse click away. Don't spend your precious money (that you could invest in your idea) and years of your life stuck in a classroom before starting. You go out there and do it.Rule 7: Always ask yourself: "What would a successful business person do?"
Again, no, clearly, this is a rule that needs breaking. Don't ask yourself what someone else with an entirely different business would do. Instead, always ask yourself: "What would a rebel do?" What would someone do that breaks the rules and does business their way? That is the right question to ask - and act upon. Also, I wrote a book for multi-passionate creatives where I talk more about how to be a rebel. You can preorder the Dutch copy here.Rule 8: Don't follow your heart; follow the plan.
This is a tricky one. There may be many reasons not to follow your heart or speak up about what you're doing, but you should still do it. Your heart knows what is good for you. At the same time, I'm sorry to break it to you; you need a plan. Without one, you're navigating blind on your entrepreneurial journey. Never a good idea.Rule 9: There's a right way to do business and a wrong way.
No, there's no right and wrong way of doing things anymore. Of course, there are good decisions and bad ones, like good ideas and not-so-great ones. But there isn't "the only way" of doing things. As you've seen from the rules we broke above, you can (and should) do business in your way and be the rebel.Rule 10: There are no rules in business.
After everything I shared with you above, I want to debunk this rule. Indeed, there aren't that many rules in business, but you shouldn't take that as a wild pass to do whatever it takes to win. Yes, you'll never be able to achieve greatness if you're not willing to break some rules, but never forget that you're in business to serve people, have a great life and hopefully make the world around you a little bit better too.
Breaking rules is a habit for success, so allow yourself to be creative and free-thinking with every step you take. Just because it's been done before doesn't mean you have to do it the same way, so break those rules and be a rebel! Follow your path, and don't let anyone tell you what to do.
Are you looking for a business coach?
My signature 3-month private coaching series is designed to get results, and I have the track record to prove it. When you work with me, I will provide personalized support and guidance that helps you take your business where it needs to go! I'm here to help you achieve your goals.
I know how hard running a business can be, but my clients love working with me because they see their businesses grow in ways they never thought possible. So if this sounds like something that could benefit you, let's talk today! It only takes one conversation before we start getting results together.
The Trust Issue That's Keeping You Stuck in Your Career or Business: Attachment Theory and Healing
We all know lack of trust is a huge hurdle in our relationships. But did you know it can have equally detrimental consequences for your career or business?
If you have trust issues, this article will help explain how attachment theory and lack of trust might be keeping your business or career stuck!
Are you able to trust the people you work with quickly? Do you believe a co-worker when she tells you she's got it? Do you trust her to do a good job, or are you micromanaging everything and everyone around you?
Your lack of trust in business might be because you're anxious and don't want to be hurt (again). What has probably been a great, life-saving defense mechanism at some point in your (early) life could be keeping you stuck in a career you don't like or unable to move forward with your business. It might even stop others from entering into business relationships with you.
On the surface, it doesn't seem like trust issues have anything to do with our careers or businesses, but when we dig a little deeper, it's easy to see how this can affect success and why it deserves attention and might even require healing.
Trust issues are often linked to anxious attachment, one of four types of attachment styles. People who have developed an anxious attachment often have a hard time feeling secure in relationships. They lack trust in almost everything, which usually leaves them feeling anxious, scared, or worried.
What is attachment theory?
Psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby was the first to talk about attachment and formalize its theory in the 1950s and 1960s.
Bowlby theorized that attachment is an inbuilt survival instinct that ensures infants seek proximity to their mothers or primary caregivers. If they cannot do so, infants might fall into a state of "distress," determined by a lack of comfort and satisfaction when confronted with anything other than what they need.
Attachment theory, therefore, examines how the caregiver-child bond develops and its impact on significant development. In Bowlby's words: "Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another person across time and space."
According to Bowlby, there are four attachment styles: secure, anxious-ambivalent, disorganized, and avoidant.
Secure Attachment Style
Securely attached children feel safe and comfortable with their primary caregivers. They explore the world around them but return to a secure base when needed. Securely attached people tend to have healthier relationships in adulthood because they feel more confident in their interactions with others and don't experience fear of abandonment.
In their career or as business owners, securely attached adults are more likely to rely on others for help and support because they have a more vital trust. They are also less anxious about their lack of control in work-related situations. Securely attached individuals will have an easier time sticking to a job or business idea, trusting co-workers or business partners and making decisions based on opportunity rather than fear. Especially compared to the avoidant and disorganized attachment types, who often have a more challenging time making decisions, and suffer lasting ambivalent feelings about the choices they eventually make.
Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment Style
Anxious-ambivalent children are more clingy, needy, and lack self-confidence. They get anxious when away from their caregivers and distrust them, leading them to explore their environment with fear rather than excitement.
They constantly seek approval from their caregivers and continuously observe their surroundings out of fear of being abandoned or in danger. This can translate into less ease and more perfectionistic tendencies at work in adulthood because they're constantly dwelling on what could go wrong. The strategic decisions they make can reflect their focus on fear, in which case the results might be missed business opportunities or promotions they want but don't take.
Avoidant Attachment
Avoidant children lack the attachment bond with their caregivers and show very little interest in exploring or trying new things. They seem uninterested, detached, and lack empathy for others. When they explore the world, it's usually to get away from adults rather than meet them; when faced with a challenge that requires help, they avoid seeking support.
They often struggle with expressing their feelings and find it hard to understand emotions - especially their own. As a result, avoidant adults tend to lack trust in people, reflected in their career or business as difficulty to delegate, trying to do it all themselves, failing to ask for support when needed, and often struggling to work with team members or business partners.
Disorganized Attachment Style
Disorganized attachment is a combination of avoidant and anxious attachment caused by various reasons, such as a lack of bonding with the caregivers or frequent changes in caregivers.
Children with a disorganized attachment style often display intense anger and rage, a difficulty to control their emotions that will affect their relationships later on in life. As adults, they avoid trusting others and have little to no self-confidence when facing challenges. This often leads to accepting less than what they are worth at work, doing other people's jobs, accepting without a fight not to be recognized for their accomplishments. In business, it leaves them prey to their customers and service providers and aiming for smaller goals than they could achieve.
Do you lack secure attachment?
Those with an anxious or ambivalent attachment style (well, hello there!) have had this lack of trust ingrained in us since our developmental years. A lack of secure attachments with caretakers during those times affects how your brain develops and responds to interpersonal relationships later in life. The problem is, we're often unaware of how this influences the way we interact with others as adults, let alone the impact it has on our business or at work.
If you're not sure of your attachment style, click here for an assessment that may help.
Lack of trust in your career or business can express itself in various ways, such as:
You're exhausted because you feel you need to do all the things, and the help you're getting is (according to your perfectionistic standards) never up to par.
You're micromanaging everyone's tasks (including your colleagues, business partners, and service providers) because you're not confident they can do the job.
You never ask for help or accept it because whenever someone offers, it makes you suspicious. You wonder what the ulterior motives are, so you say no, even when you need it most.
You're always waiting for the other shoe to drop because you're anxious things won't work out. Everything might look good now, but you don't believe it will stay that way.
You have a hard time making decisions, especially about a career change or new business venture. One day you're ecstatic about the idea; the next, not so much.
To heal your lack of trust, you need to work on healing your attachment wounds. I suggest starting with finding a therapist or coach who knows about attachment theory so they can help guide you through this process.
You may also want to read or research this critical topic to understand it better. Here are a few resources to get started with:
Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find - and keep - love by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A.
The Psych Up Podcast.
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.
The work of Diane Poole Heller, who devoted her life to helping people find secure attachment.
Is your attachment style keeping you stuck at work or in business?
Anxiously (and ambivalently) attached people are generally preoccupied with thoughts about relationships - whether personal or professional ones. They can be cautious to the point of being fearful and may withdraw from a relationship if they have an uneasy feeling that it's going downhill.
This, of course, is bad for business. A successful career or business requires networking and successfully reaching out and connecting with others.
If you lack trust in your business or work relationships, try the following:
Make sure you're not micromanaging everything and everyone around you. Be a supportive team player instead of always telling others what to do or how they should be doing it. You don't want them feeling like their work is never good enough because this might further complicate your collaboration.
Trust others by giving them more responsibility and let go of the reins a little bit. Your lack of trust will show if you don't delegate some tasks out, so try trusting someone with something small at first and see how they do before handing over more significant projects or responsibilities.
Have a candid conversation with your team, business partner, or service providers and tell them that your attachment style has held you back from trusting them. You don't need to give them the reasons why, but it helps to develop solutions together.
Keep working on developing a more secure attachment. You might never get where someone who naturally trusts others is, but you can get pretty close. It all starts with understanding your style and being willing to work at it.
As people who lack trust in others (or maybe lack it when it comes to the next business or career step to take!), we can't let it hold us back anymore. We have to start healing our lack of trust and release the painful memories from our past and change some thinking patterns. I know because I've been there. And the transformation I've gone through has been magnificent.
If lack of trust has been an issue for you, I hope this article helped you see there's a way out of it. It's going to take some time and work, but it is possible.
You can do this.
Do you have attachment wounds?
If so, I'm here to help. You need to work on healing your lack of trust before you can move forward in your career or with your business. The first step is to find someone who understands attachment therapy and getting the guidance you need. Let me know if I can be that person for you!
It's time to start feeling safe again in relationships and stop being afraid of getting hurt all the time. Let me show you how we can do this together! We'll work on healing what's keeping you stuck so you can reach the next level in your work!
How to Answer the "What Do You Do?" Question as a Creative Generalist
"What do you do?" must be the question that creatives (and generalists) dread more than anything else in the world. It's a difficult question to answer for them because of the many job titles, careers, and responsibilities most multi-passionate creatives can have, not to mention all the additional interests and passions. While there isn't any perfect answer for this common question, it may be helpful to have some strategies when asked.
Most job descriptions are straightforward. You work at a company, and you do X job for them. But what if you're not one of those people? What if you have multiple interests, or your job description is more general? If that sounds like you, then it's time to learn to answer the question, "What do you do?"
In this article, we'll explore three approaches that might help ease the pain of answering the question in the first place. I mean, how do you put a multidimensional human being with a million ideas and interests onto a tiny square business card?
#1 Who's asking, and why?
"So, what do you do?" is an essential question at any networking event, but it can be challenging to summarise it for someone you don't know, especially if you have many interests. Who is asking you? And what are they looking for in your answer? It can help to know what to say.
The person you're talking to might be a potential employer or business partner, so they're just trying to understand your work from that angle. In this case, it's best to keep the response professional and focused on what you do that might fit with what they're looking for. Never mind your other jobs or interests. You don't need to share the fullness of who you are. It might be better not to share too much to avoid confusing those without an extraordinary brain like yours.
Perhaps you're talking to someone who seems interested in more than just your job title. Again, depending on where you are and who you're talking to, you might decide to share a little more about the multitude that you are.
Just remember you're allowed to answer this question the way you feel, and it can vary from occasion to occasion and from person to person.
You don't owe anyone an elevator pitch about who you are and what you do. In fact, by adding variety into how you answer this question, you're remaining true to the multi-passionate creative that you are!
#2 The Instagram bio approach
This one is pretty familiar to creatives and generalists: the teeny tiny Instagram bio. How to summarise what you do in 150 characters or less? Impossible, you think. Well, most of us multi-passionate creatives reach a point - after much agony and turmoil - where we're OK with it being impossible. Why? Because it lessens the pressure of coming up with a bio that covers all our things! There aren't enough characters to do that anyway!
So how to use the Instagram bio approach to answer the "What do you do?" question? Share your favorite snippers of who you are: the things that excite, inspire, or interest you in some way, and then offer to tell them more about it if they're interested! In this scenario, "What do you do?" becomes a conversation starter rather than an elevator pitch.
The key is being clear about what you want to share and what you don't. Professional contacts may not need to know everything about how your imagination works, but if they're interested in hearing more, then that's a perfect time!
This approach is also great when encountering new people because it allows them to get to know you without feeling like they need to know everything.
Blogging is one of my passions, so depending on context and who's asking, I might say, "I blog about creativity." If the person I'm talking to works as an editor or writer, they might be interested in blogging, and we could talk more about it. If not, I can tell them that too - there's no need to be perfect or cover all my bases.
#3 The "But what do you do?" reply
Another way to get out of the "What do you do?" conundrum is by answering that question with a question.
This is a fun and playful way to reply that clarifies any uncertainty about what would be best to share about you. It also has the bonus of possibly leading to an inspiring conversation or a discovery of shared interests!
Here are a few ways to return the question with a question:
I'd love to share more about what I do with you, but I'm too curious. Would you mind telling me a bit more about you first?
Well, I do a few things. Perhaps it would be easier to share if I knew a bit more about you first. Would you mind telling me what you're passionate about?
It's hard to define myself as one thing, but that also means there are always new things for me to explore. Would you mind telling me a bit more about you first?
Finally, I want you to know that whatever the context, how the person you're talking to responds will tell you a lot about whether or not to pursue the relationship further. Both professionally and personally, if the person isn't excited or interested in what you have to say or downright responds negatively, it might be best to move on.
There's no correct answer to this question - share what feels right for you! Remember that you don't owe anyone any explanation about who you are and what you like to do. It doesn't matter if you're a job seeker, a business owner, or an artist.
Are you wondering about what to do next?
Do you have too many interests and don't know how to make them work together? If so, you're not alone. There are so many creative generalists out there with the same issue.
Luckily, it doesn't need to be this way! There are tools for making sense of all these different interests and skills, like my private coaching services, which help you find your "one amazing thing" (or two or three) because you know what: you don't have to choose!
How to say “no” to protect your creative time
“Why did I say “yes” to this thing? What was I thinking?! Why do I keep over-committing myself, and feeling like crap as a result?” When was the last time you mumbled this to yourself on the way to a commitment you regretted saying “yes” to? Not so long ago, I bet.
When was the last time you said “no” to an opportunity, ask or time-consuming project? “How do I even say do that!?”, you might be wondering.
Trust me, it IS possible.
We don’t say “no” because it makes us feel bad, guilty, or worried. “What will people think of me?” How many times have you been asked to do something you REALLY didn’t want to do, but still said “yes”? It happens to creatives and entrepreneurs all the time! And it sure has happened to me many times, too.
In a way, everyone prefers to say “yes”.
When someone asks us for something we don’t want to disappoint. We’ve been raised to listen to other people’s needs. We’re told that saying “no” might burn bridges, or that it might jeopardise a relationship. If someone is willing to disconnect and ignore you when you say “no” to them, perhaps they needed that “no” the most though…
The truth is: saying “yes” is the easy, people-pleaser response. But it’s not always the best one. At least it’s not the best one for you if you want to protect your creative time.
After all, there must be a good reason why you’re reading this. You might be a bit of a perfectionist, have high standards, tend to people-please. I’m here to tell you, you shouldn’t do this at the expense of your time, energy and sanity. Chronic fatigue is real and over-working and over-exerting yourself can lead to under-performance in all areas of your life.
This is not the way to more – or sustainable – productivity.
Prioritise Yourself
You can’t control what other people think and feel but you CAN be in charge of yourself.
When you have an overwhelming list of to-dos – where do you even start? Trust me, I was there, and I did a lot of trial and error to find tools, tips and tricks that actually work! Whether in life, career, or business. I left the corporate world to pursue a smarter and more sustainable way of living – I followed my dreams because they grew too loud to ignore.
Uncovering what is sabotaging your productivity is unique to you (and that’s where I come in). It’s not just about the work anymore, it’s about meaningful and joyful work. It’s about prioritising the right things, and not just any things. It’s about addressing habits that no longer serve you, to make space in your life for what really matters.
Now let’s get back to saying “no”.
Saying “no” can feel spooky or weird. It may or may not result in hurt feelings. But every time you say “yes” when you *really* want to say “no”, you’re actually saying “no” to yourself. The busier you are with other people’s requests means less time for yourself. At first it might seem like you’re helping others, doing your job or being a team player, but there’s a difference between doing good, and overworking just because you think you have to.
That’s where you need to differentiate and learn to say “no”.
Saying “no”
“Let me get back to you on that.”
“It’s not a good time for me right now.”
“I have a lot on my plate right now, I’m gonna have to pass.”
(For more ways to say “no” graciously, click here)
We’re all balancing A LOT. When you decide to work overtime, you’re saying “no” to a social life, hobbies, passions, relationships or even your wildest dreams.
Sometimes, when we get into a cycle of saying “yes” all the time, we are blindsided by the fact we’re saying “yes” to unimportant activities. Granted, some of those activities might be important to others. That doesn’t make them valuable to you. We internalise the idea that by saying “yes”, those requests are important to us as well. When in reality it’s not the request that’s important, but rather the idea that we’re doing something, which in turn makes us believe we’re being productive. (But why, then, aren’t you moving forward on your own dreams?!)
That’s a problem.
By saying “yes” to other people, you’re losing touch with your own needs. With your purpose. It might feel good for a while to be appreciated for your time, energy and talents. But how sustainable is it for you to say “yes” to everybody all the time? The fact is: you will eventually burn out.
Aim for the Right Target
At work things can get even trickier. If you’re giving out “yesses” too easily, you might end up sacrificing your own ideas, and projects to pursue someone else’s. Is that going to work out for you in the long run? Probably not. By fulfilling someone else’s vision, you’re following someone else’s breadcrumbs, building someone else’s dream… Essentially, you’re going to end up at the wrong house. I know, because I’ve been in front of ugly front doors many times!
Always consider how you invest your time and energy. Whether that’s leading towards a goal or dream you have, or away from the ones you don’t want to take part in. This way, you’ll have time to choose opportunities that align more closely with YOUR goals. The more you do this, the more those opportunities will present themselves – it’s like magic, believe me!
Say “no” to following the breadcrumbs.
Say “no” to building other people’s dreams.
Say “no” to relationships that are no longer working.
If there isn’t an element of authenticity, or reciprocity, or if you don’t feel deeply connected to giving to someone else, you need to practice the art of saying “no”.
Did you know? Saying “no” is also a huge productivity hack.
I’m in the business of getting #SmartWork to as many multi-talented creatives and entrepreneurs as possible (psst that includes you!). Once you start believing that it’s okay to say “no” and how to turn down requests politely, you’ll free up so much time to rest, recuperate and realign to your inner voice, and where you really want to be going.
After all, we could all use less work, and shorter to do-lists, couldn’t we?
Reclaim Your Time
Time is our most precious resource. We can never get it back.
How we spend our time can often feel like a loss, especially when our heart wasn’t fully into it. We don’t want to *waste* time. But what are we really doing, when we’re spending it on other people’s wishes? That’s not to say we can never be there and help, only that we should do it with care and consideration.
As a professional coach for many years, my clients come to me because they’re fed up with losing so much precious time. What’s the next step? What do I do? How do I reclaim my time? How do I achieve my dreams? Those are some of the common questions I get asked when we start working together.
Part of it is #SmartWork – how do you get productive without feeling like you’re constantly running out of time and energy? A slice of that pie is learning to say “no”. And knowing that it’s okay.
Would you rather say “yes” and be unhappy? Or “no” and be fulfilled? It’s up to you… Part of it is finding the courage to stand up for yourself.
In the end, if you’re not saying “yes” to yourself you’re saying it to someone else’s dreams and projects.
An experiment to try: In the next two weeks, I’d love for you to say “no” to at least three things you usually say “yes” to but then feel resentful about. What shifts are you noticing? Is it getting easier? What other options is this unlocking for you? Let me know x
Is low self-esteem sabotaging your business?
CONFIDENCE. A ten-letter word that holds so much power. The most important sales tool you’ll ever have or need. Precisely why it’s so important to cultivate, and be aware of it. And why so many creative and passionate entrepreneurs struggle financially.
The reason is, anyone can feel when you don’t *really* believe in yourself – I mean when you feel like an awkward little duckling in a big pond of voracious alligators – and that often puts people off.
I’ve always known this to be true. In fact, when I first started out as a freelance project manager in 1998, confidence (and a pair of heels) was all I had. I call it confidence now, but looking back I’d say it was mostly naiveté. Not knowing what I was getting myself into (building a business is freakin’ hard) and with absolutely no clue about the MOUNTAIN of things I actually didn’t know anything about. Add a dash of ambition, and a cup of perfectionism and people-pleasing into the mix and you’ve got yourself a workable mix – at least when it comes to landing projects.
Clients responded well to that initial enthusiasm. I was just slightly ahead of the curve with my knowledge of the emerging Internet and my self-taught web development skills. So they hired me. For one project at first, then repeatedly. Projects and business was coming in.
As time went on my knowledge of the work I was doing improved. I gained more and better skills (bye bye Dreamweaver!) and was in charge of increasingly complex projects. After a few years spent trying things out (read: getting totally lost in business land after a few wrong turns) I eventually started my own web agency. I approached it with that same passion, and enthusiasm.
Quickly a list of repeat clients was born.
I’m not going into the details of the type of clients I was attracting, or the promises I was making them – I wasn’t the best judge of budget versus scope back then. That’s for another post (said while writing potential jaw dropping title down in editorial blog planner).
What I want to talk about today is how exhaling confidence was the only tool I had when I started out, and how it allowed me to make money and start a business.
In those early days, whenever I wasn’t confident (didn’t believe in the idea, didn’t understand it, or wasn’t sure I wanted to work with the client) I usually wouldn’t sell. Afterwards I had this nagging feeling that I’d somehow “sabotaged” myself, that I’d not given it my best shot. I was right.
I wouldn’t sell because I wouldn’t fully engage. I wouldn’t show the extend of my capabilities because I wasn’t passionate, because I wouldn’t take the lead during the meeting. Potential clients would doubt my skills, and whether or not I could handle their project. The important lesson here is: it was ME doing it. I was playing the wrong cards unconsciously – but on purpose.
When I became a career coach and business consultant the same principle still held true (well duh!).
In the beginning I didn’t feel confident calling myself a coach. I didn’t have a lot of experience, and the coaching sphere felt really overwhelming. So when I did speak of it, the words that came out of my mouth sounded more like an apology than an enthusiastic claim to greatness. In every single one of those cases I got back what I was sending out: a lack of enthusiasm to work with me, aka absolutely nothing. A few months in, and many failed attempts at trying to land a client this way I decided something had to change. I’d made a commitment to become a coach, I’d studied hard for it, had done all the work. I might as well be PROUD of it.
The next time I spoke to a potential client, I didn’t try to sell her anything. Instead I told her about all the changes my pro bono clients had achieved, the new careers they had transitioned into, the projects they had started. I spoke honestly and with passion, and started dreaming with her about the things she could do and that I could help her achieve. She signed up ON THE SPOT.
Moral of the story? Sales require confidence.
If you don’t believe in yourself and the products or services you offer, you can still make a buck or two, but sell consistently and in a way that feels good? I sincerely doubt it.
The solution? (wouldn’t wanna leave you hanging on a cliff :))
Practice – as often as you can. With all the enthusiasm you’ve got to offer. Fake it till you make it if you have to.
Investigate your self-worth: perhaps you need a little confidence boost (there’s plenty of books out there that can help with that like this one, and this one, and this one).
Don’t sell what you don’t believe in (it doesn’t work anyway). If you’re not sure what you believe in, get clear on your values.
Take a (free) sales course (again plenty of good options available, but I particularly like this 25 Days to 100K one – thanks Ash for being such a star!)
Learn from your mistakes. Keep a “lessons learned” list by your bedside.
Learn from you wins. Keep those on the same list.
Never stop growing: try something different every day, join a mastermind, go to a sales seminar, or just talk to people.
Hire a coach
But most importantly: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
You’ve got this, I promise! Selling doesn’t need to be all eek and yikes. The more confident you’ll get that you have THE solution for a client, the better the process will feel (to both of you). So don’t sell yourself short – pun totally intended – but instead grow that confidence muscle, relax, have a drink and watch as your sales finally take off.