The Multi-Passionate Struggle: When Quitting Simply Means You’re Done
Multi-Passionate Are Told to Pick and Stick Being a multi-passionate person in today’s world can be difficult. Multi-passionate, creative women are...
Multi-Passionate Are Told to Pick and Stick
Being a multi-passionate person in today’s world can be difficult. Multi-passionate, creative women are often told that they need to pick a thing and stick to it. But as multi-passionate people know, there’s no real way to do that. At least, not without feeling like you’re leaving out so much of your personality, so many of your passions and dreams. If this need to choose wasn’t enough, there’s something else that is equally annoying, or even worse. That’s the guilt accumulated from not seeing things through or finishing what you started.
But before I dive further into this…
What Is a Multi-Passionate Person Really?
The way I see it (I’m not alone in this), being multi-passionate is simply a personality denominator – not unlike being an introvert or an extrovert. It’s something that you need to be aware of and accept as part of who you are in order to be happy.
Just like introverts and extroverts, multi-passionate people have a number of common personality traits that define them. Especially when it comes to the passion part, where attention and distraction will often form a cycle of various stages that the multi-passionate woman goes through.
Here’s a 5-stage example:
1. Beginning a Cycle
You’re at the beginning of a cycle, you’ve just found a new passion.
You’re interested, you start doing research, you learn and enjoy this process just for the sake of acquiring new knowledge.
2. Digging Deeper
You dig deeper and become more aware of the subject you’re interested in.
You might even get a little obsessed. This new subject is all that you can think or care about, you want to know everything there is to know about it.
3. Telling People
You’re starting to tell people about it.
You’ve mastered enough information, you want to spread the love and passion all around. Whatever it is, you’re talking about it – a lot.
4. Formalizing Knowledge
You want to formalize this knowledge and pass it on.
You feel the urge to teach others, so you start a project or put something into place that formalizes the way you share information about your new passion.
5. Starting to Lose Interest
People want what you’ve got – you’ve hooked them – but now you’re starting to lose interest.
You’re not at the end of your learning curve. You’re just at the beginning or in the middle of sharing your knowledge. But here comes something else into your path, you know it’s time to move on. This coming usually at a point where the outside world will call your work unfinished.
Although the entire process is usually amazing, that last stage often comes with a good dose of guilt and negative feelings. Because, for many multi-passionate people, the journey matters more than the outcome. So, things are left unfinished, or interests change and projects are left for later.
To the multi-passionate person herself, this is not a problem. She’s usually happy with the choices that she makes, with where her passion takes her. It’s for those around her that leaving things the way she does is difficult. In turn, this makes things difficult for her.
We Are Raised to Do, to Achieve
A big part of that is finishing things. Projects and other things we creatively undertake. Even the things we want to learn and master, usually have beginnings, middles, ends. Yet, for multi-passionate women, it’s not finishing that matters. It’s cultivating knowledge, learning something new, mastering a new skill…
Many multi-passionate women are often done with that long before their projects are finished. That’s where the issue lies. Although, as a multi-passionate woman, you might feel satisfied and ready to move on, the world around you tells you you’re a failure, or lazy, or that you can never see anything through. You feel guilty.
But I’m here to tell you that there is no reason for you to feel this way!
You Must Finish What You Start
“You must finish what you start” is a common belief that is certainly true for many things, very helpful to getting things done, I have no doubt. When it comes to multi-passionate women, in many cases, this is nothing more than a limiting belief holding them back from being who they are.
Don’t understand me wrong here. I’m not saying that nothing ever needs to be finished, or that systematically leaving things undone is always OK. That’s not what I’m after here. What I am saying is that it’s part of the personality of multi-passionate people to have changing interests once the learning is done, or once a skill is acquired. That is perfectly OK, too.
You might find yourself at a crossroads in your life right now. Maybe a hobby doesn’t serve you well anymore, or maybe you’ve learned all that you could from a particular interest. It might also be that you’re contemplating a much more drastic change, like walking away from a PhD program after investing six years of your life in it, or deciding that your online business isn’t cutting it for you anymore.
Those Are Big Moments, Big Decisions
I want to encourage you to think about yourself and your happiness when you make them. Feel through the guilt and the shame, to what lies ahead on the other side of that: freedom to do what you want to do. Don’t listen to the naysayers, accept that very few people will encourage you at this point. Simply because only a few see the world the way you do.
If that’s your case, if you’re at that point right now, I want you to know that I’ve been there, that I know. I’m so very proud of you. I promise you that quitting is not giving up, or giving in, or lacking willpower.
Quitting, at this point, simply means you’re done.
Do let me know below what crossroads you’re on, or have been on in the past. Where your decisions ultimately led you. I would love to know.