The Complicated Life of a Creative: Why It's Okay to Want More Out of Life

Are you feeling stuck in your life or work, even though it looks great on the outside? Do you feel like everything is fine and you should feel blessed, but you're still unhappy?

You're not alone. Last week, a client shared how he felt unfulfilled at work even though he has a "dream job" and asked, "why can't I just be happy with what I have?" The truth is: it's not because, on the outside, it looks like you're successful that you feel that way on the inside.

Creatives, in particular, need to understand how their brains are wired and what they need to do to be happy. You tend not to like boredom or continuous repetition of similar tasks. You crave variety and something creative that makes you want to get up in the morning. You will inevitably become bored and unfulfilled if you don't have this in your day-to-day activities.

It's okay to want more out of life - we all deserve our dreams

It's important to acknowledge that needing more is okay - we should feel no shame for wanting more out of life! But it's also essential to know when not to quit and push through even if things start feeling too routine or monotonous. Otherwise, you might miss out on opportunities that could bring you joy and fulfillment.

It's important to remember that feeling stuck is normal and doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It's a sign that it's time to reassess your goals and develop strategies to approach them differently or be creative in finding new solutions. The key is to find a balance between pushing through when needed and knowing when it's time for a change.

Creativity is an essential part of our lives, and boredom can be a real issue for creative types. If you need more variety in your life or work to keep you interested, it's easy to become unfulfilled. It's essential to recognize what you need so that you can make positive changes in your life. Here are a few things that can help:

#1 Understand your creative brain.

If you're feeling stuck in life or work, take time for self-reflection and use this as an opportunity to learn more about how your creative brain works. Psycho-education is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself as a creative. It will help you to understand your needs better and make better decisions.

Understanding that a lot of the things you think are flaws and negative about yourself (seemingly not being able to stick to things, always wanting something new, scattered focus, and so on) is part of your creative wiring will enable you to harness the power of your creative abilities and make better decisions.

#2 Give yourself permission to try different things.

It's okay not to know what you want or what direction you're going in. Try something new and explore your options. This doesn't mean you have to quit your job right away or that it's an all-or-nothing thing (a trap many creatives, entrepreneurs, and generalists fall into) - it might just mean trying something new on the side or experimenting with other creative outlets.

When you give yourself permission to try different things, you open up the possibilities and learn more about what makes you happy and fulfilled. You'll be able to take back control over your life and find a way to make things work for you - even if it's not exactly how you initially expected them to.

#3 Take a break from the routine.

When you feel the itch telling you something is boring or has become too easy or repetitive, sometimes, getting away for a short time is all that's needed to reset and recharge. Whether it's taking a weekend off or just taking a walk around the block, take some time for yourself so that you can come back feeling refreshed and inspired again!

The complicated life of a creative can be frustrating at times, but knowing that it's okay to feel stuck and not knowing precisely what you want to do doesn't have to be anxiety-inducing. By allowing yourself to explore different paths, and taking regular breaks away from the routine, you can make positive changes in your life and find fulfillment.

#4 Feed your creative spark.

There's nothing worse for a creative than a life without a creative spark, where there seems to be no freedom to explore, learn new things, or express yourself. Feeding your creative spark is vital for feeling fulfilled and inspired, so be sure to find ways to stoke the fire in your life.

One of the best ways to break out of a rut and find your creative spark again is to do something completely different. Not only will this spark creativity and help get your juices flowing again (literally!), but it can also open up possibilities that you never thought were available. This might mean making time for a passion project, learning something new, or taking on an exciting challenge. It could also mean taking regular breaks away from work and doing things that will refresh your mind and refuel your creativity.

#5 Surround yourself with supportive people.

Finally, remember that plenty of creatives and entrepreneurs feel your pain and go through it themselves. It's helpful to surround yourself with like-minded people who are interested in the same struggles and successes that you are. Whether it's a friend, a mentor, or a coach - having someone to turn to for encouragement can be invaluable when feeling stuck.

By understanding your creative tendencies, giving yourself permission to explore different paths, and taking regular breaks away from the routine - as well as feeding your creative spark and surrounding yourself with supportive people - you too can find a sense of fulfillment and joy in your life. So don't let yourself be stuck - go out and make something great!

No matter how successful your life appears on the outside, it's okay to feel stuck. It doesn't make you a failure or someone who doesn't know what you want. We all need variety in our lives to stay inspired and motivated. Remembering this can help us take steps toward our goals while still accepting where we are in the present moment. With patience and perseverance, you can make the changes in your life that will bring about more satisfaction and joy.

Being honest with yourself about what you need is the first step toward making positive changes. So if you're feeling stuck or unfulfilled, don't be afraid to admit it and seek some support or guidance. Good luck!

Feeling bored and unfulfilled? You're not alone.

There must be more to life than this. Why can't I be happy with what I have?

Private coaching can help you figure out what you want in life and how to get there. With the help of a coach, you can finally start living the life you've always wanted. Coaching is an investment in yourself - one that will pay off for years to come.

Schedule your free session!

Are You Too Creative For the Corporate World or Too Corporate For The Creative World?

This is a question that many creative generalists (multi-passionate creatives) ask themselves, and it can be challenging to determine which side you are on. This article will look briefly at the struggles of left-brain people in the corporate world and right-brain people in the creative world. We then move on to the question: What happens if you fall somewhere in the middle? In what category do you fit? Let's find out!

Neither here nor there

Left-brained people in the corporate world often feel stifled by the rigid rules and lack of creativity at these workplaces. They may feel like they're not able to express their true selves or be creative in the ways that they want to be. 

On the other hand, right-brained people in the creative world often struggle with the constant need to be creative and come up with new ideas. They may feel like they cannot relax or take a break from their work because they have this persistent need to think about new projects or ideas constantly.

So, what happens if you fall somewhere in the middle? In what category do you fit? 

If you identify as a creative generalist (or multi-passionate creative), you may find that you have a unique perspective that can be beneficial in both the corporate and creative world. You're likely to have the ability to see things from different angles and come up with innovative solutions to problems. You may also find that you're able to balance out the left-brain and right-brain aspects of your personality, helping you manage your work and personal life.

When our idea of creativity keeps us trapped

It often seems easier to make it as a creative generalist in a creative job rather than trying to pursue a corporate career. But what do you do if you think you're not quite creative enough for the creative world?

A world you'd love to belong to, but one that you're not cut out for because you don't feel like a "real" creative, as so many of us creative generalists do. 

What if you think you only look creative from the outside, but you feel like a fake deep down? 

What if you think you're not creative at all - but still, you seem to be the only one who brings different and daring ideas to the corporate table?

Many multi-passionate creatives like being creative, but most believe they're not really creative, or at least not enough. The problem is that when we think about creativity, most of us don't see past paintbrushes and modeling clay. Many creative generalists also believe that being creative not only equals being "artistic" but also that you must excel at your art. 

But this false belief of what a real creative must be like limits us, like all other false beliefs do: by speaking to us through our inner voice, by making its way into our conversations with others, and ultimately, by influencing our actions. 

It makes us believe there's only one way to be creative, one way to express our creativity, and we're often not even aware of it because we think of it as a fact. Not a belief. 

Ultimately, it keeps us trapped. 

We come up with excuses for not trying, not playing, not exploring, for not creating. We drag our feet, don't complete projects, or fail to try something new. It weakens our beliefs about who we are and what we're capable of. It holds us back from pursuing hobbies, passions, and crafts from getting outside our box. 

When we don't even start trying, we lose the opportunity to exercise creativity, stuck in a self-perpetuating process.

The good news: You can bust this false belief. 

Think about who makes up the "creative enough" rules. Who gets to be that decision-maker, whether you're creative enough or not? Who is qualified to award you that title? Assign you that label?

That's right, the answer is you - and only you.

That means you have the power to skirt that rule of "enough," and you get to break that rule entirely. Drop "enough." You can start thinking of ways and alternatives. (That is being creative!) Be the exception to the rule. Or find the exception to the rule. Because there are plenty of others out there, who are being creative their way. And that IS enough. 

A label can help us make sense of our world. But it can also limit us if we let it. 

Neither here nor there: Not a bad place to be 

Once you get out of your own way to claim the "I'm creative" title, you might still wonder whether the corporate or creative world is best suited for you. Here are a few questions that might help you to decide what career path to follow (or create your own, why don't you?):

• When you're in creative flow, do you feel more alive, or do you prefer to have structure and systems filling up your days?

• Do you feel like you need to constantly create something new, or are you happy working on both creative and non-creative projects?

• Do you feel energized by interacting with people, or do you prefer to spend more time alone?

• Do you feel like you need to be in a specific place or environment to create (e.g., do you only write when you're at home, or can you write anywhere)?

• Do you prefer to work on one project at a time or juggle multiple projects simultaneously?

Accepting that you are creative enough and answering the questions above honestly will help clarify whether the corporate or the creative world is a better fit for you! And if you find that you don't neatly fit into either category, like so many other multi-passionate creatives, that's fine, too! You always have the option to create your own path and build a career that's tailored specifically to your strengths and interests!

If you're unsure of which path to take, the best advice would be to experiment, to try different things.

What feels right for you? What do you naturally feel drawn to?  

You don't need to force yourself into a specific box or category - go with the flow and be open about where it takes you. You may find that you enjoy elements of both the corporate and creative world, and that's perfectly okay! 

Just follow your heart and intuition; they usually know the way.

This article was a collaboration between myself and Winnie Tang. Click here to learn more about Winnie and to discover her work.

Feeling lost in your career?

You're not alone. A lot of people feel like they don't fit into the corporate or creative world. That's where private coaching comes in - to help you find your place and thrive.

You'll get clarity on what you want in a career, learn how to mary your many interests and talents effectively, and find out what skills you need to succeed. Most importantly, you'll have someone who believes in you every step of the way. Coaching can help take your career from stuck to soaring.

Schedule your free session!

Smart work habits for creatives and entrepreneurs

There’s a difference between doing things mindlessly and doing things consciously. Have you ever gone grocery shopping and realized once you got home that you bought *some* (ahem, a lot) of unhealthy options? And that you forgot the apples?!

This is only a small example of how we operate on autopilot most of the time. Now what does that look like for a multi-passionate creative trying to get work done? 

Habits and Productivity

With a multi-passionate, creative mind like yours I know you struggle with focusing – I’ve been there. You let distractions get the better of you, you tend to be indecisive about the fourteenth great idea you have, and you just feel like you’re too busy all the time! (Spoiler, you’re not truly being productive, you just look like you are…). So, how can you finally get to work so you can achieve all the things you want? 

Awareness is the idea that you’re mindful of your internal and external surroundings. We practice being aware through specific mindsets or behaviours, for example in the form of a new daily habit or ritual. This adds a layer of meaning and purpose to what you’re doing. What’s a ritual, or formal process (or ceremony) you can start tomorrow that’s small? This could be as simple as a five minute routine in the morning, an act of self-care, something you do when preparing a meal, journaling… The idea is to find something small that can help you shift into action. 

Too many ideas? Journal them.
Don’t know how to start a business as a multi-passionate ambitious creative? Speak with a coach.
Feeling overwhelmed with your to-do list? Take a course on working smarter and not harder.

Trust me, I know because not only was I there (not knowing who I was and what my personal dreams were), but those are the exact clients I serve today (feel free to sign up for a free consult – no pressure!). 

What will help you do things differently from now on? 

Creating new, automatic actions that help you achieve your goals. I like to call them rituals, but you can call them something else. They can help shape or shift you, changing you on a deeper level. 

Daily rituals act like small but important ceremonies, where you’re consciously allowing things to take place rather than being overwhelmed, distracted or careless. That’s why they’re such an important part of the Smart Work™ that I teach. Adjusting your daily habits is something you can do with anything in your life – regardless of how big or small, whether it’s moving more slowly, eating nutritiously, or making decisions that will impact where your career takes you. But most importantly with purpose rather than just rushing it because everyone else is doing it. A ritual is personal and should fit you like a glove. 

Smart Work is also a free challenge I developed about these very issues my clients face over and over. It’s about more than just knowing what to do to achieve your goals, but embodying it so you don’t give up if it doesn’t go perfectly the first time. 

By inviting intentional rituals into your life you rewire your entire system. 

You’re addressing those habits that might get in your way, whether it’s distraction, fear, feeling like you’re not enough, or you might not deserve it. The stagnant and exhausted parts of your life need a breath of fresh air. 

Habits and rituals are important because they add your senses to your day-to-day life, so you’re not just centring life on what you produce. Life is not meant to be tedious work. If you’ve been busy this whole time and you still feel like the finish line keeps being pushed back it’s time for a different approach.

Knowing what the first step is – what helps align with who you want to be and how you want to feel – is important. 

You can’t create something new when there’s no space for it.

What is currently serving you? What isn’t serving you? Is stress and overwhelm a common denominator at every turn? Let’s focus on 6 specific habits around smart work.

Smart work habits for creatives and entrepreneurs

1. Banish Distractions: address distractions holding you back. Overwhelmed? What’s causing it? How do you stop them? Why are you doing what you’re doing and why *that* specific goal? What’s the relationship you have with yourself, and how can you get time to work for you and not against you?
   

2. Build Healthy Boundaries: what are safe and reasonable ways for how you expect yourself and others to behave? What do you require to understand your own needs, priorities – mentally and emotionally? How do you communicate? Do you know how to say “no”? Saying “no” and letting go of guilt, negative self-talk and boosting the positive chemicals in your brain are vital to be smart about your time!
   

3. Embrace Simplicity: let’s declutter (music to Marie Kondo’s ears!). Not just physical things, but digital, personal and emotional. If you want to be truly productive then you must be willing to move from chaos to calm and easy systems, (eliminate, automate and delegate), to let go and create space for things that truly matter. Are you still holding onto too much baggage? Then you’ll keep paying for the extra fee.
   

4. Find Balance: we hear this as “work-life balance,” but it’s more than that because you’re not just the work you produce, you’re so much more! Finding balance means getting focused, intentional and not running on autopilot. What does true success mean to you and not other people? Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? That constant feeling of inadequacy around what you can and can’t achieve? What if those thoughts were learned and inherited from other people? How can you truly find balance as a woman in today’s society?
   

5. Create Daily Rituals: working smarter and not harder requires attention and intention – you need to focus on your inner voice. What nourishes you, your habits, and your self-awareness and daily routines? What is the anatomy of an effective goal? Have your lessons in life been practical or short-lived? Do you still feel overwhelmed by chaos, or are you ready to turn new habits into inspiring and life-changing daily rituals?
   

6. Master Smart Work: There’s only so much growth you can do on your own, even for an overachieving perfectionist (hello there!). The truth is you must create a deep sense of awareness within yourself. How do you remain present? Accept the highs and lows? Transform the old into the new? How do you keep self-sabotage in check? You’re on a journey to uncover your unique recipe to success and that requires transforming your internal programming in the final step towards smart work.

How do you want to grow as a creative or entrepreneur? Ditch the old, and embrace the new (and not in a cheesy, new year’s resolutions again, kind of way). 

By addressing these key ingredients to Smart Work™ you might be closer to your dreams than you’ve ever been before. 

So what’s next for you? As we close off the past, I encourage you to slow down and realize that you’ve accomplished so much and only the best is yet to come. 

How to nurture your creativity

You are a creative super star! It might not be what you think you are, but I guarantee you that creativity is in your DNA. The problem is, most of us have gone through a creativity killing process called education. It’s when we inherited dreams we didn’t choose for ourselves, and forget about our own.

But let’s try to remember for a minute. All the dreams you had, the stories you performed, the endless imagination you brought to the table. Where’s that magic spark? What happened to the crazy life you were going to live? The unique career you were going to have?

They was slowly filtered out of you.

As you made your way from teenager to adult, there wasn’t much left. Your fidgeting, playful, passionate, insatiable self made way for a more manageable version. One that had a nicely predefined place in society, a clear role you’ve since then learned to perform well. So much that you’ve come to believe that this role you’re performing is, in fact, who you are.

The trouble is, it isn’t.

When creativity dies, big dreams often die too. And with them the stardust that makes us unique.

I’m a example of this. By the time I was 20 there was little creativity left in me. As a child I always had the wildest dreams. I wrote, painted, danced, sang, put plays together with my cousins, made things. There wasn’t a day that went by that I wasn’t creative.

As I grew older the pressure to conform, to perform, and to make something of myself increased. Creativity became a time waster, and I felt guilty for having so many interests, passions and for being unable to focus on one thing as I was expected to. Well to the dismay of my parents I decided to pursue a degree in Philosophy. Career outcomes were so insubstantial to them that they often told people I was studying to become a psychologist (slaps hand on face).

By the time I graduated, they had convinced me I’d wasted four years of my life. Although I contemplated an academic career I knew it wasn’t what they wanted. I had to make something of myself. Show them I was worth the investment. So in the final months of college I started working as a freelancer. I’d always been around computers, and it was all I’d ever seen my father do. With Internet emerging, and my DIY experience in building websites (hello 1998!), I landed a job as a freelance web project manager.

That first job turned into many other projects and clients, and eventually in me starting my own web agency. Although I’m proud of my accomplishments the truth is I pursued everyone else’s dream but my own.

Building a career that wasn’t meant for me turned the creative, multi-passionate big dreamer I was into a perfectionistic, people-pleasing workaholic.

The unhappiness I felt made me try harder. Always chasing the next thing, without taking a breath to enjoy what I’d already achieved. Or reflect on what I really wanted.

In 2010 I was forced to pause, and finally do some thinking.

I saw the dreams I’d been pursuing for what they were, and decided it was time for me. The problem was, I didn’t remember my dreams. They’d been buried so deep beneath everyone else’s that I couldn’t come up with a single idea.  

Because I couldn’t figure it out, I decided to just do something.

That let me back to creativity. Slowly at first, because making stuff was now so far out of my comfort zone. But as time went on, and I tried out new things, my creative multi-passionate self resurfaced.

Creativity was my way back to me. And to my big dreams.

I believe it can be yours too.

How do you nurture your creativity?

• Try things out

It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you allow yourself to play. I’ve done everything from writing workshops, dancing and cooking classes, to screen printing, improv theatre, drawing retreats and piano lessons. Recently I’ve realized that I need at least one creative outlet a week in order to be happy. And the more I do, the easier it gets. Pick something, and just do it! Like I signed up for a 5-day theatre workshop (dipping sweat off forehead) just before finishing this post.

• Let go of control

Creativity is a process that you can prepare for, but that you can’t control. There’s no way to know when you’ll have a creative spark, make something amazing or experience flow. Things simply unfold. This little perfectionist had to learn this the hard way. Not being able to create what I had in mind made me want to scream and run more than once. That’s what happens when you believe you have a say in the creative process. By letting go of control you’ll be able to create freely and to experience moments of pure bliss and freedom that will help you to believe in yourself and your dreams.

• Make it a practice

Creativity is a muscle, you have to train it to make it work. Doing something creative once a year is better than doing nothing. But the effect won’t last long. That’s why you should make creativity part of your daily life. By doing something out of the ordinary regularly you’re strengthening your creative dream muscle. You realize that you can do much more than you think, that things aren’t that hard or scary after all. The more you do it, the more you’ll want it. So make sure to do something creative regularly, to challenge yourself to try unfamiliar things. It really helps to dream bigger. And – more importantly – to dream you.

If you want more Dream Bigger Tips, I’ve got great news for you! This tip is part of a series, you can find all entries here.

10 happiness secrets of highly creative people

I find that there’s a lot to learn from the creatives and artists among us. And although it’s certainly true that the creative life is not always an easy life, because making a living can be hard, or staying true to your heart might not always be that easy, I find that living a creative life and being a creative person offers ways to happiness that are often unique and worth exploring.

So, here’s a list of 10 things that I have found to be uplifting, and which help make me happy, and that highly creative people often do, too.

1. Daydream.

As a child, I used to daydream a lot. I was a wandering child, always asking questions and looking up at the sky in awe, overwhelmed and intrigued by all the mysteries of the world. Back then, really, I used to daydream a lot. And in that world, surrounded by my stories, I was not only happy, but my imagination was fed and my emotions were expressed. As adults, we don’t daydream nearly enough for our own good. By starting what I call a “daydream practice” – that is, by allowing yourself to daydream regularly and to let your mind wander off for no other purpose than to do so, I’ve become better at thinking things up, putting things into perspective, and even contemplating alternate solutions to problems. And this has helped me to be happier.

2. Write it down.

Creative people have a way to nurture and harvest their creativity, and it often looks nothing like what you think it does. Creativity requires work – hard work, sometimes. It might well be that some of us are born with a more creative mark-up than others, but that doesn’t mean that creativity doesn’t need to be practiced. And, in fact, it really does. A first and important step for me has been to start writing all of my ideas down, whatever they are. This has not only helped me to see clearer inside my creative mind, but also to get a lot of noise out of my head and onto paper. And that has quieted my mind, which in turn has made me happier.

3. Express yourself.

We all want to be seen. In fact, I believe that this is one of the most important things for us in this world. We want to be acknowledged for who we are. And, as creatives, we want to offer the world what is uniquely us. We have a creative fever that never really goes away, and which is eased only by the creative process. That process is mostly about expressing ourselves, our ideas, our feelings, and our emotions, but also our torments, and even our darkest hours, and letting all of this be seen. And as terribly difficult sometimes to really show and express yourself authentically, if you don’t – and I think this goes for anyone, creative or not – you’ll always feel like something is missing from your life, and you’ll never be truly fulfilled.

4. Enjoy solitude.

It’s so uncommon to be really alone these days. And I’m not only talking about the physical aspects of not being surrounded by others. Of course, it’s fairly easy to separate yourself from others and look for a quiet spot, but that doesn’t mean you’re alone or even enjoying a moment of solitude. With the media at our fingertips and in our pockets, all the time these days, it’s extremely rare to be absolutely alone. And that’s a shame. Because solitude can be very beneficial to your well-being, and it offers so many beautiful things. Solitude, for instance, allows you to simply sit with yourself, to get to know yourself better, to calm down from your hectic life, to reflect upon your actions, and even to hear and listen to your own voice much better. And I believe that all of these things are ingredients for a happy and fulfilled life.

5. Follow your passion.

Highly creative people have a tendency to follow their hearts more than the less creative among us. Because creativity defines them so much, many will have much stronger opinions about what it is they are willing to do to sustain themselves. And very often, doing what they love will be at the heart of that.
At our core, I believe that we are creative beings with a need to express ourselves, and, as a result of this, our happiness greatly depends on it, too. And it might be that you don’t have the opportunity to quit everything and start your passion project full-time, but whatever it is that you’re passionate about, my point is: Do it as much as you can, infuse as many hours of your day with it, and always try to move closer to it. Even an hour a week spent on your passion project will make you happier.

6. Explore and observe.

Creative people have a different way to look at the world. Simply by looking around and observing what goes on, new ideas and projects can emerge. And this capacity to create by looking and exploring is something that I was able to develop within myself, too – a work in progress – and this makes me happy. And my bet is, it can make you happy also, whatever your level of creativity. Because, when we make new things or think up new ideas, we tap into the essence of what we are: creative beings. And doing that feels good.

7. See beauty everywhere.

The world is a magical place. Life is a magical thing. The mere fact that we’re given the opportunity to experience it and live through it is a mystery that I can’t stop wondering about. And, lately, I’ve been more aware than ever before about how beautiful the world is. Beauty is everywhere. And looking at the world like this – with the eyes of an artist, almost – lifts me up. Everywhere I look, I notice little signs of beauty, of love and compassion, of what the world has to offer. It can be as simple as a flower blossoming, or the love of a cat for her little kittens. Other times, I’m witness to courageous acts by women who decide to finally follow their hearts or to engage in acts of compassion towards themselves when they accept the challenge of loving themselves for who they are. All of that is beautiful, and by looking at the world this way, I become more optimistic and, in turn, happier.

8. Don’t just do – be.

I’m an ambitious woman; I have been for most of my adult life. And until about five years ago, my biggest ambition was to be perfect and be worthy of love. That translated into me wanting to always be in control, to accept all that came my way, to never question the workload others were giving me, or that I was giving myself, and to always be doing. I’ve spent many years like this – disconnected from myself, my body, and the world around me. Until I couldn’t anymore, and I realized that all these years I had just be doing, without being. And by returning to my body, and allowing myself to be instead of always needing to do, I found a new sense of calm and peace that I hadn’t known existed.

9. Take a break.

Creative people know that it takes time to create. And that taking a breather once in a while, or taking a break by changing activities during their work day, is very beneficial to the work they’re doing. And taking breaks like this is not only good for the work itself, but also for you. Moments like this can ground you, and bring you back to yourself. They can help you to feel nourished throughout the day by the activities that you undertake, and they can make you feel more alive, more useful, and even more joyful.

10. Play.

Enjoy yourself. Discover what you love. Then do more of it. Don’t take things too seriously, and explore yourself and the world around you. This is what creative people do. They need it to express themselves fully, and to enjoy their lives. And you know what? They’re not alone. We all need it. We start our lives as playful children, and along the way we lose this part of ourselves and become so serious sometimes. And with that, we lose a bit of happiness. When you see creative people play, you see how good it makes them feel. It’s essential for many to be happy. And I believe this is true for all of us. So, play!

I hope this list inspires you to find creative ways to find more happiness in your life. And, tell me, what habits do you know of that make you happy?

How to learn from criticism without letting it take you down

I’m a recovering people-pleaser. For years, I’ve dreaded criticism more than anything else. Because every time someone criticized me, it was a reminder that I was not perfect – something that was really hard for me to bare – and a painful reminder that I wasn’t pleasing someone else.

The funny thing is, for all those years, I actually thought I could handle criticism pretty well. I prided myself on it. When someone would criticize me, I’d think I was handling it in the best way possible, listening and engaging in a conversation about it, and giving space to the opinion of those who criticized me, pretending it was for my own good. But I was wrong.

Constructive criticism was having the opposite effect on me. It wasn’t making me become a better person at all, it was just hurting me to listen to what someone had to say about me.

For many years, constructive criticism was something I really couldn’t handle, and it was totally wasted on me or, worse, it would take me down and I would need time to recover.

And that’s how it is with many people-pleasers. The need to please is so strong that anything that gets in the way of that – like criticism, even the good kind – will be devastating.

So how do you benefit from constructive criticism without letting it take you down?

#1: What people say about you – even if it’s useful to you – does not define you.

You are much more, immensely more, than the comments that someone makes about you. So don’t give those words more meaning than they have, or more power. It’s good to have an open mind and listen to other people’s opinions, even if it’s about you, and even if it’s not all that positive, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or not a nice person, or not worthy of love. People criticizing you has nothing to do with any of that, and should never define you. You define you; nobody else does.

#2: You are not here to please others, you’re here to love yourself first.

It’s good to listen to constructive criticism, because depending on what it’s about, it can really help you: to be a better version of yourself, to have more meaningful relationships, or to improve on pretty much any area of your life and business or career. But, you’re not here to please others. That’s not your purpose on this planet. So it’s not because someone criticizes you that your world should end, or that you even have an obligation to listen. I believe that you’re here to love yourself first and foremost, and that means that you only need to listen if you feel it will help you, and that that in turn will make you a happier person.

#3: Keep your ego out of it.

My ego has been one of the biggest struggles for me to overcome in order to move past people-pleasing (and many other things, believe me). That little voice, the everlasting critic that really makes your life difficult and unpleasant, does not come from the outside, but from within. And when someone gives you constructive comments about yourself, that little thing is going to kick and scream. The best way to really profit from what is being told to you is to let your ego out of it. It’s a hard thing to do, I know; it is a constant struggle for me. But it really is the best way, and it really will make you happier and more fulfilled in the end.

#4: Don’t confuse plain old cheap critique with constructive criticism.

Never forget that constructive criticism is meant to create, not to destroy. As a people-pleaser, it’s difficult to understand the difference, and to know what to listen to and what not to. My rule of thumb is to always try and see things from the other person’s perspective. I ask myself: What would I think if I was in her shoes? And that helps me to listen with an open mind and see the experience as a way for me to grow.

In the end, it’s up to you what you do with constructive criticism. You can choose not to listen to it. But, ever since I’ve started listening better, I’ve been able to “handle it” better, and I’ve profited from it. It’s helped me to get to know myself better, and to explore parts of me that were more challenging to get in touch with. And overall, it made me happier.

How about you? How are you dealing with constructive criticism?

How to boost your confidence as a creative perfectionist

High-achieving perfectionists are often multi-passionate creatives. Believe me, I know. I've always believed that creating requires you to disclose, and show a secret part of your yourself, of your soul. That this part is forever connected with anything that you've created.

Wouldn’t you say that putting a secret part of yourself out into the world, for everyone to see, might make even the most confident person a little insecure? Not to mention high-achieving perfectionists who'd rather not show anything at all, then present something less than perfect to the world?

Perfectionists or not, we all carry with us the weight of what we think others expect of us.

We all carry a heavy suitcase of beliefs, everywhere we go. We hold beliefs about everything and everyone, including ourselves. When it comes to those beliefs, we have an endless list of how we think we’re supposed to be. Often, though, those beliefs are not true. But that’s difficult to grasp, because we hardly ever question what we believe in. Beliefs that aren’t true are often called limiting beliefs, and perhaps you have heard of them before. They are so called because they limit you, either in your doing, your thinking, or even in your being.

A classical example of a limiting belief is when we hold onto a way of doing something simply because that’s the way we’ve always done it or were taught how to do it, like the belief that you need formal training or innate talent to call yourself an artist.

If we start questioning that kind of beliefs, most of them will not survive. In a larger setting, this is also called questioning the status quo. I have found this to be one of the ways to find more confidence in many areas of my life - as a writer, coach, woman, and also as an entrepreneur.

1. Question everything

So my first advice is to question everything. That’s the best way to uncover your limiting beliefs and to let go of them. When it comes to confidence, we have a lot of them. A prime example for creative people is the “I’ll never be good enough” belief.

But there are many others. All of them helping to lower your self esteem and keep you from fully expressing yourself. Whenever your inner critic talks you down, or whenever a thought about you not being good enough or creative enough pops into your mind, question that thought.

Why wouldn’t you be good enough?
Is what that voice is saying to you really true?
What is the truth here?

2. Surround yourself with like-mined people

A confidence booster that always does it for me is to surround myself with like-minded people.

If I don’t feel confident about my writing, I’ll surround myself with writers who know my pains and insecurities, and who share them with me. If I’m not sure about any aspect of my life (not just the creative parts of me), I’ll try to surround myself with people who I share that aspect of my life with. Guaranteed confidence booster, especially if followed by the mantra: If they can to it, so can I.

3. Show your talent

Another option, albeit a more daring one, is to show your talents to others.

As a writer, that means publishing your words, or sharing them aloud or in a writer’s group, as a painter or another visual creative, that might be to exhibit your work or try to sell it.

Whatever your creative field is, there's something tangible that you can create and that others can see. Show it to them. In most cases, you’ll understand that things are really much better than you think they are, and that your creative work is worth it.

4. Realise that nothing is ever perfect

A big one for me was to realise that nothing is ever perfect. As a high-achieving perfectionist who loved to always be in control, being creative – although it was my calling and inner nature – was difficult for a long time.

Being creative requires that you let go of control, that you surrender to your creativity. Not an easy task for me! But I was able to slowly let go of having everything the way I thought I needed it to be by:

• putting myself out there,

• surrounding myself with like-minded people,

• and questioning my beliefs about myself and my creative skills.

As a result, I accepted that things were what they were, that creativity is magickal and, although uncontrollable, that we can cultivate it, that what I created, as long as I did my best, was good just the way it was.

5. The person you need to convince is you

This brings me to my final and most important point. In most cases, boosting your confidence when it comes to your creative skills only requires you to convince yourself that you are a creative person.

Everyone else around you already knows, and doesn’t question what you are capable of doing or what you're creating. In most cases, you're the one that doesn’t believe:

• start by introducing yourself as the artist that you are,

• write a bio of yourself, or an elevator pitch, and test it out on people,

• see how they react,

• use those reactions to convince yourself that yes, indeed, you are creating beautiful and worthy things!

The more you practice, the more it will become real to you.

The more you'll realize that being an artist is a mindset, way of life in which you decide to show a little part of your soul – however imperfect – to the world.