Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Why do fast learners feel like imposters, and how to turn it into a superpower instead
Have you ever felt like that thing you know how to do isn’t special or unique because if you know how to do it, everybody else must know how to do it too? Does this cycle sound familiar?
Get excited about new thing.
Research new thing.
Fall into a rabbit hole about new thing.
Learn more.
Rabbit hole some more.
Fix the thing.
Excited to tell everyone about the new stuff you know.
Get bored (nobody seems to care).
Move on.
Maybe somewhere in there, you think you can offer this service to other people, get excited about doing so, and then start believing everyone else must already know how to do it and why would they want to learn from you anyways…right?
I can honestly say that I spent a lot of my life feeling the same way. Well, at least until I debunked this idea and started recognizing that this just isn’t true. Most people aren’t like that. Most people see a problem and maybe get excited to learn about it for a little while but then ultimately decide they can’t do it on their own. So they give up. Or they never get excited to begin with and let their lack of knowledge stop them from pushing forward until they find someone else to help them navigate the problem.
That is, there are people who see a problem and learn ten different ways to fix it, and there are people who call the problem solvers for help. And you know this because your phone or DMs are piping hot with calls and messages!? Even in corporate roles, you might be the one asked by someone in a completely different department to help them with something that isn’t even in your job description. Why? Because they know you know how to solve it. Duh!
And yet - we still think this skill isn’t worth something? The part of me that has been healing my inner child for 20+ years believes it probably came from my parents, but in reality, it could have come from anywhere. I think we are programmed to feel this way by our environment. You know that saying, “You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with,” well, it’s true. If the five people closest to you are telling you that what you know how to do isn’t that special and no one will care - you’re going to believe it. You’re going to feel like an impostor.
Unfortunately, I’m sure it bears repeating, it’s not true. It’s not only about all the stuff you know, it’s deeper than that: it’s about your capacity to learn new things and your insatiable hunger for knowledge. If you’re anything like me, you believe that is common to all people too! So why would you be any more capable to understand complex things or learn yourself a new skill than the next person? Well… because you’re a creative, a generalist, an entrepreneur. You are special and unique for knowing how to do it, and people will want to use those [your] skills in their life and business. You are worthy.
This ability is how our brain is structured. It’s literally a superpower!
So, what sets creatives and entrepreneurs apart from other people? Why is it our default to learn and find solutions to things? I’ve narrowed it down to three things:
We’re self-starters. We have this intrinsic motivation and confidence to begin projects on our own. We also have the resilience to navigate challenges and find alternative routes to the information and skills we are trying to learn.
We have a hunger for knowledge. We literally want to learn the thing and until we learn it, nothing will get in our way. Think about all the times you were interested in something and the rest of the world started to fall away until you’d finished learning about it. That hunger to learn is what keeps our motivation moving.
We have an incredible capacity to learn new things. It is easier to become a self-starter and cultivate a hunger for knowledge - these are learned traits - but the capacity to learn new things is something we are born with.
Moreover, we have never met a problem we couldn’t solve. We know deep down that we can learn and do anything we set our minds to. This knowledge is so ingrained in us that it can be jarring to think that other people don’t possess these traits. Of course, they must have them; how could they not? Right? But they don’t. And that’s okay. This difference in brain structure is something completely unique to us and something that can greatly impact not only your life and work but the life and work of others.
Now that we understand this, how can we truly accept it? Because really, it’s one thing to understand, and it’s another thing to accept a new reality. Understanding is easy to argue with. Acceptance is deeply rooted and helps challenge our past perceptions so we can hold firm to what actually is.
To accept that we are uniquely capable of learning things and doing things when others are not - and that others will, and do, need our help with these things - we must:
Stop negating it. Stop correcting people when they praise you for knowing how to do something. Stop pretending that they could do it too. Stop telling them they can. Take the compliment, let it swell in your heart, and replace the old ideas that everyone is capable of this.
Let that initial praise grow into confidence, but keep cultivating confidence on your own. When you start to feel like an imposter, work through those feelings. Try and figure out where they come from and then treat them like an episode of Myth Busters - prove why you’re wrong. And if you can’t, check out my blog on how to overcome imposter syndrome.
Debunk your doubts. Instead of believing every negative thought that pops into your head or the voice of your third-grade teacher who told you you weren’t capable of something, start listening to that other voice in your mind that says you are capable. The one thing people don’t talk about is how when we hear a doubt pop up in our mind, we also hear another voice saying, “That’s not true.” The problem is that the other voice is so quiet, we tend to believe it less. But if you can find the strength to listen to that small voice, you’ll give it the courage to get louder. The more you listen, the more it will call to you over the roar of your doubts until one day, your doubts are the quiet voice, and the little voice is the big one.
You are innately capable of doing so many incredible things. You have to stop thinking that just because you can do something, everyone else must be able to do it, and therefore your work or thoughts on the matter are not worthwhile. Stop getting in your own way with these thoughts. I promise that not only are you special for being able to do that thing, but there’s also someone waiting for you to help them with that knowledge.
Want to learn how to debunk your doubts?
We all have them - doubts. But the really successful people don’t believe in them. They hear them and let them go.
This is a skill that can be learned and grown. It just takes time, attention, and some coaching. That’s where I come in. With my help, we can isolate your doubts and watch them crumble so you can finally go after the career or business that you want!
5 Ways for Creative Generalists to Build Better Boundaries
I like to think that setting boundaries is a version of self-care. It creates a rule or limit that I can impose on others to protect myself. And no one can get upset with me for creating a boundary - well they can and probably will, but they shouldn’t and it won’t be for me to worry about. It’s on them.
When you build boundaries, you’re telling others what is and isn’t acceptable to you. Other reasons why setting boundaries is important - and necessary, include getting the respect you deserve and growing your own self-respect, improving your emotional health and relationships, warding off burnout, and decreasing your stress and anxiety.
Think about it: when you aren’t busy worrying what others will think when you ask for something you need, if you could get work done without being distracted by a colleague who just wants to chat, or if you could go to the movies by yourself just because you want to, things would be so much easier. You’d be able to breathe and better show up for what really matters in your life
Creative generalists are people who are good at multiple things. Most people try to niche down and become an expert in one specific thing, but creative generalists can’t. Our brains are wired differently and we need fresh ideas, new topics, and an array of things to study to feel fulfilled. I myself have worked in marketing, philosophy, the web, digital marketing, coaching, and as a consultant for start-ups. I’m also a start-up founder, a researcher, and a writer. If I hadn’t discovered that I was a creative generalist, I would have continued to try and fit myself in the box society built for people who enjoy niching down, but I would have felt miserable that I couldn’t follow my many interests for the rest of my life.
Creative generalism may sound like a person who wants to do just one thing, but really it’s about wanting to do all the things. Being a Jack/Jill/Jay of all trades. Unfortunately, it can also mean we’re more prone to avoiding boundaries and getting sucked into all. the. things.
For real, think about all the hobbies you have started and abandoned. Think of all the books you tossed aside when they became repetitive. Or think of the fact that you have multiple jobs or interests in various fields and are always daydreaming about pursuing them. If this is you, my friend, I have news for you: you’re a creative generalist.
Welcome to the club!
With that in mind, here are five ways to build better boundaries so you can get back to doing the work that makes you feel fulfilled.
Learn to say no. It’s so important to say no. You have to stop agreeing to do things you don’t really want to do. To paraphrase Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, if it’s not a, “Hell yes!” It’s a “F*ck no.”
Know yourself well. When you are self-aware and have reflected on who you are and what you want, you will have a clear idea of the boundary that needs to be drawn. There is nothing worse than feeling like a boundary should be put into place for a while, but being unclear of what you need, and then blowing up at someone, or getting overwhelmed, and enforcing the boundary in a hostile state. If you know what you need, and you’re clear about why you need it, you can articulate it clearly and be heard more openly.
Know what matters to you. It’s important to know what kind of life you want and what kind of person you want to be before you can effectively put boundaries into place. If you don’t know what matters to you, how do you know if those boundaries are actually important - they may be misplaced.
Make sure you know what your skills are - both the hard and soft ones. By knowing what you can do, you’ll be able to figure out what work - or life decisions - are meant for you. For instance, if one of your soft skills is working in a collaborative setting, you might not be happy working independently for long periods of time. When you know the environment you thrive in and the skills you want to use, it’s easier to pick things that actually align with you.
Practice flexibility. None of these steps are easy, but for creative generalists looking to build , trying to also be flexible for when life gets in the way, can be extremely challenging. But it’s important. Learning when you can be flexible and still feel good about having, and asserting, a boundary is the most important mindset to adopt.
Most of the creative generalists I know - myself included - are also perfectionists, people-pleasers, and Type A overachievers. We want to do the best, say yes to everything, and if it doesn’t work out, we have a tendency to crumble. But that’s because we don’t have good boundaries! We aren’t saying no to work, events, and other things that don’t align with what matters to us, what the skills we want to use are, and what we know we want to be doing. We are being inflexible.
We can’t move forward and take up space in a way that truly represents who we are until we can create boundaries and stick to them (when needed).
Ready to build a boundary that doesn’t crumble?
Building boundaries is hard, but so is living a life where you feel stuck because no one listens to your wants and needs (including yourself).
When we work together, we figure out those five things above. We get into the nitty gritty of who you want to be and start crafting boundaries to get you there.
How to unleash your full potential for success and overcome self-sabotage
The three biggest things holding you back from reaching your full potential for success are excuses, procrastination, and yes-buts. That’s it.
Everyone gets overwhelmed at some point in their lives and work. We have responsibilities that rely on our work but also tend to get in the way of it. When we use those responsibilities as ways to explain why we haven’t gotten something done or haven’t allowed ourselves to change in some way, we are just keeping ourselves stuck.
Instead of finding reasons why we can’t do something we want to do, we have to realize that we are in control of our destiny. We can make whatever choices we want. In fact, in coming up with excuses or procrastinating, we are making a choice. We are actively inhibiting our ability to reach our full potential for success.
We are self-sabotaging our dreams.
Think about the attorney who dreams of being an author. Every time they feel the urge to write their novel, they get distracted by their family, legal work, or and their inbox or develop the urge to clean the house. Every day they miss their dreams or taking a step in its direction. You might look at the attorney and say, “Hey! Just write!” And it is that simple, but when did you last listen that advice?
Two of the most common ways we make excuses and self-sabotage are procrastination and yes, but-ing. When I talk about procrastination in sessions, the first thing my clients tell me is how disappointed they are with themselves for procrastinating. They feel ashamed and guilty and can’t seem to understand why they can’t just do the thing - why they keep getting in their own way.
The truth is we self-sabotage because we have a lack of motivation, a fear of failure or criticism, and difficulty defining our goals and tasks. It’s not that we have a lack of vision; it's almost as if we have too much vision, too much energy. Also, for those of us who are neurodivergent, procrastination tends to make work more interesting. We get a thrill from waiting until the last minute and pulling a project out of nowhere. But, while that might work one or two times, it’s not sustainable and will ultimately lead to burnout.
The other type of excuse is yes, but-ing. This is where you agree with someone while simultaneously making an excuse as to why you can’t do something.
“Yes, you’re right, I could do that, but…”
“Yes, I know, but…”
“Well, normally I’d say yes, but…”
Yes, buts are statements that chop off your dominant hand before you even get going. They limit you from your true potential, block your path to success, and create space for doubt - in your mind and the mind of others.
For instance, let’s say you had always dreamed of being an astronaut, but when you were in college, you failed physics. Now, you’d had a severe case of mono and were extremely sick. You should have dropped the course, but you were determined to pass. So even though you had a 102 fever for three weeks leading up to the final, and even though your teacher told you to retake the course because of all your absences from being sick, you took the final anyway and failed terribly.
Someone who doesn’t make excuses would look at this experience and say, “This sucks.” But they would take it over because they wanted to be an astronaut. But you decided that you failed physics because you were terrible at physics. When people said, “You failed because you were sick,” you responded, “Yes, I see what you are saying, but I failed because I am terrible at physics. I couldn’t be an astronaut because I couldn’t pass physics.” You limited yourself. You stopped yourself from reaching your full potential and doing something cool! - because you saw your failing grade as an excuse.
You self-sabotaged.
So how do we stop? One of the ways to stop making excuses for ourselves is to recognize that we are making an excuse and address it.
Is the excuse valid? Would I believe it if someone else said it to me?
Why am I afraid of moving forward? What is that fear trying to tell me?
What’s the worst that can happen?
If I listen to this excuse and do nothing, what will happen?
What will happen if I don’t listen to this excuse and take action instead?
Do I really want to change?
What is my next step here?
Other ways to shake up your thoughts and stop self-sabotaging include:
Flip your “yes, buts” to “yes, ands.”
Get organized and clear your work and living space.
Limit distractions as much as possible.
Celebrate small wins along the way.
You know that saying, “everything you want is just outside your comfort zone,” is true. When you leave your comfort zone of cushy excuses and sweet self-sabotage, you start getting what you are working for. You stop feeling like the world is working against you and instead begin seeing how it works with you.
The end of self-sabotage is the beginning of success. Don’t forget that!
Ready to stop self-sabotaging?
Sabotaging ourselves can sometimes feel like it is ingrained in our bones. So how can you be expected to break free?
With my help, of course. In our sessions, we will work together to figure out the root cause of your self-sabotaging tendencies and create behavioral tools to help you flip those automatic responses so you can finally achieve your full potential for success.
7 best planners to stay organized
A dream without a plan is just a dream, right? So here’s the list of my 7 top picks of planners to get organized – and achieve your goals!
When I choose a planner I’m always on the lookout for specific features, such as: great monthly, weekly, and daily overviews; space for to-do lists and notes, smooth paper to write on, enough writing space, inspirational quotes or prompts, and most importantly an interesting layout or structure that helps me to stay on track, and achieve big goals!
Based on those criteria I’ve put together a list of what I consider to be the 7 best planners to get organized.
The Erin Condren Life Planner is one of my all-time favorite planners. I included it in last year’s top list, and I’m including it again this year because this planner has every feature you could ever dream of.
First, it’s a full blown planning tool. The Erin Condren Life Planner helps you set goals, get clear on what you want, and take leadership in your life.
What makes the Erin Condren Life Planner so unique is the extensive level to which you can customize it:
You can choose between a colorful or neutral theme. You can pick a cover (floral, artistic, neutral, colorful… you name it, it’s available!), or purchase different beautiful laminated covers so you can interchange them throughout the year for more variation.
You have 3 options for your weekly layouts: vertical, hourly, or horizontal; and you can choose between a 12 or an 18 month option. Every new month has a beautiful internal cover page to collect ideas or notes. It also comes with inspiring quotes and words.
The weekly spread runs across two pages from Monday to Sunday, with a note section on the side and below every day of the week.
The Erin Condren Life Planners comes with a set of stickers to highlight important moments throughout the year: birthdays, vacation time, days off, and so on.
The planner also comes with year-at-a-glance pages. An overview of 12 squares (one for each month of the year) that runs across two pages. This spread is perfect for writing down, and keeping track of your monthly goals.
All of this makes the Erin Condren Life Planner one of my favorite planners. I find it easy to use, very practical, and beautiful and unique at the same time!
#2 Self Journal
What I like about the Self Journal is that it combines day-to-day to-do lists with your actions goals. Another one of it’s great – and unique – features is that this planner is date independent, meaning you can start using it at any time.
Some of the features of the Self Journal that I love include:
Space in the journal pages for daily morning and evening gratitude.
An evening routine that helps you reflect on your daily wins, and lessons learned.
Daily targets to help you focus on the 3 top tasks you want to accomplish that day. I’ve found that focusing on only 3 top things to accomplish everyday works wonders in achieving goals, big and small.
Weekly prompts to reflect and track your progress.
The length of the planner also differs from most other planners: 13 weeks instead of the usual 12 or 18 months. According to the creators of the Self Journal, they’ve chosen this time frame based on the science that 13 weeks – approximately a 3-month timespan – is the ideal time frame for goal setting. This 13-week roadmap is one of the power tools of the Self Journal, and a one-of-a-kind feature that I haven’t seen in other planners!
#3 The Planner
This planner, created by Carrie Green from the Female Entrepreneur Association, is the ultimate business planner to keep you inspired, focused & dreaming big.
The Planner is a limited-edition daily planner that covers an entire year of planning, and goal setting. When you’re flipping through the soft pages of this planner, you can’t help but think it was created by someone who knows A LOT about effective goal setting, and has a great sense of style.
The Planner has a luxurious powder pink & gold foiled cover, gold accented corners, and gold wire binding. The first pages of the planner are for yearly planning, and asking yourself powerful questions about what you want to achieve.
I absolutely love the monthly calendar spread, weekly planner pages and daily pages of this planner. On the daily pages you have space to list your 3 top goals of the day, a schedule from 7am until 10pm, and a section for notes. At the bottom of each page is an inspiration quote.
All of this, together with the free online course and monthly bonuses that come with The Planner, make it one of my top picks of the year!
The Daily Greatness journals, and planners remain some of my favorite planners! To me they are a beautiful mix between goal setting workbooks, to-do lists, and more common daily or monthly planners. The reason I love them so much is because they offer a ton of incredible tools to gain clarity about what you want, work on your goals, and achieve more by tracking your progress!
I particularly love the Business Planner, and the Daily Journal. The Business Planner is everything you need to be launch your business, or elevate your current one to the next level. It’s so good, that I recommend it to almost all of my business coaching clients! The Daily Journal offers the same mix of goal setting, planning, and progress tracking but for your personal life.
Daily Greatness also has a Training Journal, Wellness Journal, Yoga Journal, and Parents Journal. Worth checking out if you’re looking for more structure, and successful action-taking in your life or business.
The Ultimate Life Binder by Michelle from Secret OWL Society is one of the most complete, and versatile life planners available. Michelle is a multi-passionate entrepreneur who first created this binder when she discovered that she had lived the same year twice and that it had been a mediocre one.
The Ultimate Life Binder grew out of her desire to take 100% responsibility for her life and have her dreams, projects, and progress “all in one physical location”.
I’ve had the pleasure to talk to Michelle and she told me that the Ultimate Life Binder helped her to live her life on an upward spiral. She’s now at the 4th revised (extended) version of the binder and has sold more than 2500 copies all over the world.
What I love most about the Ultimate Life Binder is that it’s as if Michelle has thought about everything. And I mean – everything! Having it as a planning tool really makes you take 100% responsibility for your life, the tagline of her planner.
Within the binder you’ll find:
Yearly overviews, goals overviews, monthly overviews, prompts to help you focus on a weekly and daily basis.
Handy daily to-do pages with space to reflect on how you want to feel, what you’ll do to take care of yourself, and what you absolutely need.
Fun lists for books you want to read, things you want to buy, courses you’re taking but also more practical overviews like password sheets to record your online passwords for safekeeping, goal breakdown worksheets, and even budgeting tools.
Social media and blog post scheduling, and even travel planning sheets.
What’s so powerful about the Ultimate Life Binder is that Michelle has created a binder that addresses the important stuff, even when it’s not that sexy, like tracking your financials, or getting clear on the habits you need to build (or change) in order to be successful.
If you’re looking for the more intuitive planner, with different focus than traditional planners, it’s definitely worth checking out!
Rifle Paper Co. offers 12-month hardcover agendas and 17-month planners. I’m including them in this list because I still love myself a traditional agenda (call it melancholy), and because the ones from Rifle Paper Co are the perfect combination of a classic bestseller with the more contemporary take on planners we have today.
My favorite is the hardcover agenda. It’s a book cloth agenda, featuring a gold foil cover, illustrated end pages, and calendar and weekly views. It’s a classic design that never fails. At the beginning of the agenda there’s a section for important dates, organized by month. At the end of it you’ll find a contact listing (so old school, I love it!).
Each separate month comes with its own monthly overview spreading across two pages. This planner has a weekly spread format, so no daily pages here. However each day of the week has enough room for writing down your most important tasks, to-dos, and goals.
This hardcover agenda comes with an inside floral print on front and back cover pages. If you’re a fan of classic, timeless planners like I am, you want to check them out.
#7 Day Designer
The Day Designer is one of my favorite planners because it’s a real work of art. Not only is it a beautiful and intuitive planner, it’s also very spacious! My favorite look is still the classic one. How can you say no to a black, white, and gold combo?!
The Day Designer is a mix of worksheets, prompts, planning tools, and note sections. I love how the first pages of the planner offer different worksheets, each designed to help you find out your strengths, values, personal skills, vision, and passions. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that knowing yourself well helps to achieve your goals!
The Day Designer has a separate page for each day of the week, except for the weekend, where Saturday and Sunday share one page. Weekly schedules start on Monday, and every day has runs from 5am to 9pm. On the daily pages you’ll find prompts for your top 3 to-dos, inspirational quotes, a checklist, a gratitude section, space for dinner planning, and more.
The Day Designer also comes with a monthly calendar, a notes section, and space for projects and deadlines. What I like most about this planner is that it’s a little treasure chest where you can organize all of your ideas, tasks, goals, thoughts, and even memories!
Now it’s your turn. What planner are you currently using? And what do you love about it? Leave me a note in the comments below, because I’d really love to know.