5 Ways for Creative Generalists to Build Better Boundaries
I like to think that setting boundaries is a version of self-care. It creates a rule or limit that I can impose on others to protect myself. And no one can get upset with me for creating a boundary - well they can and probably will, but they shouldn’t and it won’t be for me to worry about. It’s on them.
When you build boundaries, you’re telling others what is and isn’t acceptable to you. Other reasons why setting boundaries is important - and necessary, include getting the respect you deserve and growing your own self-respect, improving your emotional health and relationships, warding off burnout, and decreasing your stress and anxiety.
Think about it: when you aren’t busy worrying what others will think when you ask for something you need, if you could get work done without being distracted by a colleague who just wants to chat, or if you could go to the movies by yourself just because you want to, things would be so much easier. You’d be able to breathe and better show up for what really matters in your life
Creative generalists are people who are good at multiple things. Most people try to niche down and become an expert in one specific thing, but creative generalists can’t. Our brains are wired differently and we need fresh ideas, new topics, and an array of things to study to feel fulfilled. I myself have worked in marketing, philosophy, the web, digital marketing, coaching, and as a consultant for start-ups. I’m also a start-up founder, a researcher, and a writer. If I hadn’t discovered that I was a creative generalist, I would have continued to try and fit myself in the box society built for people who enjoy niching down, but I would have felt miserable that I couldn’t follow my many interests for the rest of my life.
Creative generalism may sound like a person who wants to do just one thing, but really it’s about wanting to do all the things. Being a Jack/Jill/Jay of all trades. Unfortunately, it can also mean we’re more prone to avoiding boundaries and getting sucked into all. the. things.
For real, think about all the hobbies you have started and abandoned. Think of all the books you tossed aside when they became repetitive. Or think of the fact that you have multiple jobs or interests in various fields and are always daydreaming about pursuing them. If this is you, my friend, I have news for you: you’re a creative generalist.
Welcome to the club!
With that in mind, here are five ways to build better boundaries so you can get back to doing the work that makes you feel fulfilled.
Learn to say no. It’s so important to say no. You have to stop agreeing to do things you don’t really want to do. To paraphrase Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, if it’s not a, “Hell yes!” It’s a “F*ck no.”
Know yourself well. When you are self-aware and have reflected on who you are and what you want, you will have a clear idea of the boundary that needs to be drawn. There is nothing worse than feeling like a boundary should be put into place for a while, but being unclear of what you need, and then blowing up at someone, or getting overwhelmed, and enforcing the boundary in a hostile state. If you know what you need, and you’re clear about why you need it, you can articulate it clearly and be heard more openly.
Know what matters to you. It’s important to know what kind of life you want and what kind of person you want to be before you can effectively put boundaries into place. If you don’t know what matters to you, how do you know if those boundaries are actually important - they may be misplaced.
Make sure you know what your skills are - both the hard and soft ones. By knowing what you can do, you’ll be able to figure out what work - or life decisions - are meant for you. For instance, if one of your soft skills is working in a collaborative setting, you might not be happy working independently for long periods of time. When you know the environment you thrive in and the skills you want to use, it’s easier to pick things that actually align with you.
Practice flexibility. None of these steps are easy, but for creative generalists looking to build , trying to also be flexible for when life gets in the way, can be extremely challenging. But it’s important. Learning when you can be flexible and still feel good about having, and asserting, a boundary is the most important mindset to adopt.
Most of the creative generalists I know - myself included - are also perfectionists, people-pleasers, and Type A overachievers. We want to do the best, say yes to everything, and if it doesn’t work out, we have a tendency to crumble. But that’s because we don’t have good boundaries! We aren’t saying no to work, events, and other things that don’t align with what matters to us, what the skills we want to use are, and what we know we want to be doing. We are being inflexible.
We can’t move forward and take up space in a way that truly represents who we are until we can create boundaries and stick to them (when needed).
Ready to build a boundary that doesn’t crumble?
Building boundaries is hard, but so is living a life where you feel stuck because no one listens to your wants and needs (including yourself).
When we work together, we figure out those five things above. We get into the nitty gritty of who you want to be and start crafting boundaries to get you there.
