How to choose your hard and get unstuck!

For years, I wanted to start writing a book. When I finally decided to write one, I would wait till inspiration hit before I sat down to write. I would stop the moment I felt like the inspiration had waned. My entire writing experience, then, was centered around getting into - and falling out of - a flow state. But flow states can be fickle. They don’t come when we call, they come when they want to. If I waited for inspiration to write, it would take me years to finish my first book. 

I knew there had to be a different way. I knew I was stuck and had to find a way to get unstuck. So I started writing every day. I gave myself a time frame that I had to sit in front of my computer and type. It didn’t matter if it was cohesive or spelled correctly; I just had to type. Sometimes, inspiration would be there with me, guiding me along, but most of the time, I was on my own. Most of the time, I was writing because I’d built a habit. 

It made me realize that when motivation is lacking, you have to rely on your dedication. On days when I don’t feel like writing, my dedication to the habit of writing guides me to the computer and gets me through the time slot I’ve set aside. 

This experience was the start of of my get unstuck method. I realized that when you want to change something about your life - or your work - you have to start by changing your mindset. I wanted to write, so I changed my mindset about how I write (every day no matter what for 1 hour), focused on taking responsibility for my thoughts and emotions around writing and being an author, visualized the new life and habit I wanted, and then mustered the courage to go out there and do it. 

“Getting Unstuck!” might sound like a tagline, but it’s really a mantra - one that was born out of necessity and evolved into a way of life. It’s about planting your feet and digging deep into the ground of discipline. It’s about daily action and building new habits. 

The truth is, there is simultaneous pain and joy in growing into someone new. You can be both excited to start something new and terrified of the work it will take to get where you want. You can be both happy to change and miss the old life you lived where you knew what to expect. And you can be miserable in your life and work and still choose to stay there because the alternative is even more daunting. There is a duality between freedom and discipline; you’re allowed to feel and experience more than one emotion at the same time.*

I heard someone say once, “Everything is hard. Choose your hard.” Being stuck is hard. You are afraid to go after the life and work you want, so you procrastinate, get overwhelmed, and hide behind your fears. That’s hard and it gets harder the longer you stay in that headspace. However, getting unstuck is hard too. You have to put in the work, change your mindset, figure out what you want to do, create a vision for the life you want, and start implementing the steps to get there. 

Here are a few things to think about when choosing your hard:

1. You’re going to be sacrificing either way. Whatever it is you want to do to change your life, it’s going to take sacrifice. But it’s also a sacrifice to keep your life exactly the same - only in this case, you are sacrificing your own dreams. For instance, if you currently work in tech, but really want to be an interior designer, you may have to sacrifice some of your free time to build a design portfolio, interview for new roles, and maybe even take a pay cut to get the experience you need for the jobs you really want. However, if you never go after that dream of being an interior designer and instead stay in tech, you are sacrificing your dream for the comfort of what you already know. Both paths lead to sacrifice, so choose the one that actually fulfills you.

2. Change is scary. Accepting that change is scary is one of the only ways that I can move past the fear. “Yes it’s scary, and I’m doing it anyways,” is one of my favorite mantras. When we acknowledge the fear in front of us, and we still decide to go after what we want, we’re fostering a trust within ourselves. There is nothing better than knowing you have your own back and that the decisions you make are solid, even when they’re scary.

3. Everything gets easier when you accept that it’s hard. This sounds counterintuitive, right? If we acknowledge it’s hard, then it’s hard. But actually, I think acknowledging that something will take hard work to complete is the first step in making it easier. With this acknowledgement comes the planning, visualizing, and mindset changes that are necessary to do the new thing. Think about it: when the painter decides they want to sell their art, but they know it will be hard to find clients, they start working even harder to find clients. They start posting their art on social media, and use their free time to create a website. They take the pressure off actually selling and focus on the steps to get their art out there into the world for people to see.  

So which hard do you choose? The one that keeps you in place, feeling lost and stuck, or the one where you have the life you’ve been dreaming about? 

*A special thank you to Colleen-Joy for inspiring this blog post during our interview last week for her podcast InnerLifeSkills.

Are you ready to choose your hard?

Getting unstuck is the only way to get to the life you want. You have to get out of your own way and start doing the scary things while changing your mindset.

I help my clients figure out exactly what it is they want to do, why their fear is holding them back, and how to move past all that.

Schedule your free session!

Creative Generalists Don’t Fit In and That’s Okay! (P.S. you can stop applying for specialist jobs now)

When we were cave people, each one of us was good at multiple things. You had to be. We lived in a community where everyone worked together. Sure, there were some people who were better at hunting than others, and some that were better at taking care of the children or gathering roots and berries for supper. But everyone needed to have all of the skills so that if one person died, the rest of the community could still survive. Imagine if one person in your community was the only one with the skills to start a fire and then they were gone? The rest of the community would not survive the winter.

Somewhere along the way, between the agricultural and the industrial revolution, society decided that having a specialty was more important than having multiple skills. We started going to college to specialize in one type of career, and if you were unable to make up your mind on what you were going to major in, you felt like an outsider. The day I realized I could have as many jobs in as many fields as I wanted, was the day I learned real freedom. 

Unfortunately, it can be a tough lesson to learn and an even tougher path to take because we are conditioned from birth to think we have to pick one job, one career, one skill for the rest of our lives. If we try to transition out of that role to something different, we are often looked down on. 

With clients, I often share the story of The Ugly Duckling because it’s so similar to what creative generalist experience. In the story, the Mama Duck is waiting for her six ducklings to hatch. One day, five of the eggs hatch, but the biggest egg takes its time and hatches the next day. When it finally breaks out, the duckling is “odd-looking.” Not only is he much bigger than his siblings, he’s dark gray instead of yellow and walks with a funny wobble. Immediately, his siblings see - and point out - that there is something wrong with their brother. Mama Duck gets upset and takes them all swimming. The other ducklings call the Ugly Duckling ugly the whole way to the pond. The Ugly Duckling could swim like his siblings, but when he tried to play with them, they wouldn’t and instead made fun of him for being different. 

One day, the other ducklings told him to leave, and he did. On his journey away from his family, he tried to fit in with a number of other animals, including two adult ducks. But he didn’t fit in anywhere until he found a new lake and a flock of large white birds flying overhead. They were beautiful, with long white bodies and slim necks. He watched them glide through the air and fly away. The Ugly Duckling was all alone and spent the winter by himself before being rescued by a farmer. 

During the spring, the farmer brought him back to the lake where he met the beautiful white birds again who invited him to be friends and to fly with them. When he saw his reflection in the lake, he realized he looked just like them. He was no longer the Ugly Duckling but a beautiful swan.

If you’ve felt like the Ugly Duckling know this: there’s nothing wrong with you, you’ve just been misdiagnosed. You’re ont a duck, you're a swan! Creative generalists don’t need to fit into specialist jobs. We need to embrace being different; embrace being rebels and having an inner activist that hates injustice, authority and has a strong sense of right and wrong. It’s ok to go after all of the jobs, roles, and careers you want to pursue. It’s ok to break away from the people, places, and things that make you feel like you’re not good enough and have to conform. If the Ugly Duckling had stayed with his duckling siblings, he would have felt bad about himself his entire life. He would only have focused on how he was different from the rest, instead of realizing how awesome he was! By leaving the nest, he was able to find out he was a swan and that he did belong. He was able to embrace his differences and be himself. 

We need to be more like the Ugly Duckling and embrace our differences so we can really excel in our lives. It’s okay to be outside the norm, to be unconventional - it’s actually a superpower! So stop trying to squeeze yourself into a tiny box, stop applying for specialist jobs and start pursuing a life and career that works for you.  

So what are you going to do going forward? 

1. Embrace being different. 

2. Acknowledge your creative generalist gifts.

3. And use those gifts to find roles that allow you to spread your wings and fly (allow for a variety of your skills and talents to be utilized), rather than restrict you to specializing in one field. 

That’s it! It’s simple once we step outside of the idea that we have to do exactly what society says and stop believing that niching down, choosing (don’t you hate that word?), and limiting ourselves is the only way to excel in life.

Are you ready to fly?

It can be overwhelming when you think about leaving the comfort of your specialist role, even when you dream about having something else to do that allows you to flex your creative generalist abilities instead of boring your brains out every day.

This is where I come in! Together we can figure out your creative generalist skills and sweet spot, the fields you’re interested in working in, and how to use those skills to land your dream job!

Schedule your free session!

Shift Shock and How to Avoid It

Have you ever had this experience: you work so hard to get a new job, maybe even shift careers, and then the minute you’re in your new role, you regret it so completely that you want to run away? Or throw up right where you are… Whatever you feel, it’s so intense that you are left in this catatonic state.

Well, that’s “shift shock.”

According to this article by The Muse, 72% of workers have experienced shift shock. Part of the issue is that we have built up this idea that the grass is greener on the other side of this role or career, and then we feel either a wee bit let down once we get there, or overwhelmed by the unfamiliarity of it. 

There is a lot to be said about the comfort of our old roles. While we may have not enjoyed them so much and there was a reason we wanted to switch careers, we were comfortable in them - both the everyday tasks and the complaining about how we wanted more or something different. Then suddenly you have the role you wanted and everything is new. We don’t know what tasks to get done first, how to navigate the new social scenarios, and what kind of clothes to wear to work every day (especially true if you work from home). 

The darker side of shift shock is when you start a new job and realize your employers have lied about, or didn’t explain, the expectations they have for your role, which leads you to accept the position under the wrong precepts. This is even harder when you are switching to a remote role where conveying expectations is entirely dependent on an interviewer who is not used to the virtual reality you’re entering into. Company culture is also difficult to discern prior to starting when the role is completely online, making shift shock even more apparent and uncomfortable.  

So now that we know what shift shock is - and how common it is - the question becomes, how the heck do we avoid it?

1. State your expectations. When you go for your interview, or start your first day, it is important that you are very clear about your expectations of this role. That means you lay out the exact responsibilities you believe you will have, what your working hours will be like, and describe your work-from-home policy (yes, that’s right, you’re allowed to define how you want to work!) to the interviewer/onboarder so that they can clarify if it fits with theirs. If everyone is starting on the same page, there will be less shift shock.

2. Ask about employee retention. A lot of what creates a great company culture is how the company tries to retain its employees. What do they do that helps their employees? How do they build trust with their employees? Ask those questions and make sure you like the answers. If you don’t, it’s probably going to be harder to adjust to the role. 

3. Meet other employees on LinkedIn. Whether you’re in the interview process or it's your first week, getting information from fellow employees is incredibly important. Networking and reaching out to them on LinkedIn is one way to learn about the company culture and what the company expects of them. If you find out that you are salaried for a 40-hour week, but they expect you to work before and after work, and on the weekends, without overtime, and that doesn’t align with what you want out of the role (or with how life should be), you can jump ship right there.

Don’t be afraid to leave. If you find out that the company misled you about their expectations, it’s okay to leave. While you might have left your prior job, you can still create an exit strategy for this one. I know we are all used to the notion that we must keep a job for at least a year to make our resumes look better, but the reality is, having good mental health is more important. 

Moreover, if you think the shift shock is simply a byproduct of your own expectations not being met, but you know in your gut it will get better as soon as you're comfortable, then just work on getting comfortable. The steps above will still be beneficial - especially if you are trying to meet your co-workers and get to know them. 

Remember, it’s totally normal to feel shift shock. You’ve just campaigned your way out of something you’re familiar with for something new. It’s like being a kindergartner on their first day. You’ve heard so much about this cool place called school and all the things you will experience. You’re excited and ready to start, but then on the first day, you cry at the classroom door because it’s all so overwhelming. Within two weeks, you’re feeling better and love your teacher and classmates. 

Give it some time, but then again, don’t be afraid to switch again if you really know in your heart of hearts you’re not where you want to be. Because you know what, you’re allowed to do that.

Worried about shift shock?

The idea of shift shock can be intimidating - probably more intimidating than actually shifting roles is to you. But not only is it a completely normal feeling, there are things you can do to avoid it.

I help my clients identify the roles they would like to try out to build the lives they want. Part of this is getting clear on the type of company they want to work for. When they enter the interviewing stage, we walk through all the questions they should ask so that they can avoid shift shock when they get the role. If you’re ready to start, I can help!

Schedule your free session!

I’ve outgrown my career. What should I do next?

Most high-achieving (and creative) employees end up outgrowing their jobs and careers rather quickly. Part of the problem is that we pick up tasks easily and once we find ourselves bored with the work, it can be hard to motivate ourselves to stick with it. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When you outgrow your work, it just means it’s time for something new.

Think about it! When you were little, you wanted to do so many different things with your life. At one point, I wanted to be a sea witch, a librarian, and an astronaut all at once. I dreamt of wearing a voluminous black dress, with giant black rimmed glasses, holding a copy of a Tale of Two Cities, while floating in the International Space Station’s anti-gravity. If you ask any five-year old, they don’t think of one job they want to do forever. They come up with six or seven and those six or seven change from day to day - sometimes minute to minute. 

We only think we want one career for our entire lives because that’s what society tells us. You go to school for a dozen years, get pressured into picking a major in college for a life you kind-of-sort-of want, and then come out of college and immediately start climbing a corporate ladder. At some point, you get so bored with it all that you start thinking about what life would look like if you’d made different choices - or perhaps if you had actually *made* a choice.. 

Many people will live their entire lives wondering what if, but I’m willing to wager that if you’re here reading this blog, you might be ready to make the shift. And you can and are allowed to make the shift. It’s okay to have two - or even ten - different careers in your lifetime. According to this article, the average person has twelve different jobs and almost 30% of people have changed their careers post college. 

Now that you know you can make a career transition, you’re probably wondering how. (It always comes down to “how” doesn’t it?) Here’s how:

1. Why? Start by thinking about why you want to change your current career. Maybe you aren’t being challenged enough. Or maybe the industry is dying out. Whatever your feelings are, they’re valid. My first career was in the web industry, and while that is not a dying industry by any means, I felt like I was choking on the corporate ladder. I came out of college and climbed and climbed, never letting myself think about what I actually wanted and why I wanted it. When I finally sat down and asked myself why I wanted to transition, the answer was simple: I wanted to be happier. I wanted to live my life on my rules and my terms and no longer worry about what everyone else wanted for me. 

2. What other careers are you interested in? Think about what your end goal is. If you were to change careers, how would you achieve that end goal? If you don’t change your career now, will 80 year-old-you have regrets about your choices? Once you’ve thought this through, write down the steps you think you will need to accomplish to make future you proud. When I was trying to figure out how to transition from my web agency into my coaching career, I was so scared to take the first step, but I knew if I didn’t shake things up, I would forever regret it.

3. When can you make the change? Career transitions usually don’t happen overnight. Especially if you value the company you work for. A good thing to think about is when you can transition out of your role and into your new career. What life events, or career events, will inhibit that change? How can you address those so they don’t affect you? 

4. How can your current skills help you in the career you want? Your ability to get a job, or start a business, in a new industry or role, will rely a lot on your past experience and current knowledge base. Figuring out how to use those skills, whether they are hard or soft skills, in a new arena is half the battle to convince your mind that this transition is possible. For instance, if you are a trained cosmetologist who would like to move into remote bookkeeping for hair salons, you can use your knowledge of how hair salons work to help them manage their finances. If you aren’t super secure in your bookkeeping abilities, you can always take a short certification course to get up to speed and support your resume. 

5. Start networking. Networking is a great way to connect with people in the industry or roles you are hoping to transition into. They can offer advice and guidance to help you move along that new path more easily. Also, they might know of job openings and be able to vouch for your abilities when you apply. A lot of the people I first met when I transitioned to coaching had made similar changes earlier in their lives. Some of them have even become my mentors and helped me feel empowered by my transition. 

It can be super scary to transition careers, but the reality is, if your gut is telling you it’s time, it’s definitely time. Think about what your future self would be proud of you for doing, how this transition will positively impact their life, and then go for it! And if you need a little help, book one of my free 30-minute chats. You never know what we might come up with! 

Scared to change your career?

Changing careers can be a scary prospect, but it can also be an empowering one. You are making the choice to leave behind what you are comfortable doing, for a career that is more challenging and fulfilling.

I help my clients discover their passions and find work that aligns with those passions. Together we will discover what it is you really want to be doing with this next part of your life and how to achieve those goals in a sustainable way. If you're ready to change your career, I can help you get there!

Schedule your free session!

The Four Agreements and How They Can Help You Succeed In Business

Each morning, I recite the Four Agreements (old Toltec Wisdom):

1. Be impeccable with your words.

2. Don’t take anything personally.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

4. Always do your best.

Now, I wish I had come up with these incredibly simple - but powerful - agreements, but I did not. Don Miguel Ruiz published The Four Agreements in 1997. Growing up in rural Mexico, Don Miguel was the son of a Toltec faith healer, and the grandson of a Toltec shaman - or nagual. Despite growing up in such a faith based culture, he went on to practice neurosurgery in Tijuana until he was involved in a near-fatal car crash. He left medicine and began to study life and humanity through the lens of the Toltec teachings. 

According to The Four Agreements, when we are born, we learn all the rules and values our family and society have. They impose these rules and values onto us through a punishment and reward system - like how we train animals, for example dogs. Where our true nature is to love and explore life, we learn what others think we should be and are forced to change. If we do the “right” thing, we are rewarded. If we do the “wrong” thing, we are punished.

Over the course of our lifetimes, we are domesticated into who society and our family think we should be and we lose that ability to be truly happy. 

In the years since first reading this book, I’ve started each day reciting The Four Agreements to remind myself of who I am - the real me. And to practice strong tools to stand in the world in an authentic and anchored way. While this has helped me in my personal life tremendously, it has also helped me in my professional life. 

When we strive to be our authentic self in business, we are better capable of building businesses and having careers that fulfill us and the people around us. By practicing The Four Agreements in my business, I’ve been able to alter the way I do business. Instead of focusing on the outcome of my sales efforts, I focus on the outcome of my words and thoughts, and how they affect my clients in a positive way, which ends up affecting my sales. 

1. Be impeccable with your words. 

This first agreement is probably the hardest to do, but to complete the other agreements, you have to start with this one. It is the foundation of the four agreements. Your words are a reflection of who you are. If you speak rudely, if you cut people with your words, or don’t follow through with your promises, how will anyone be able to trust what you say? Clients, employees, and consultants will retreat from working with you. 

If you say you’re going to do something, you better do it - even if it costs you. Prove your worth by proving your integrity. 

2. Don’t take anything personally.

When you’re impeccable with your words, you don’t have to take anything personally. If you have a client, business partner, or family member that’s working against you, you might feel like giving up. But if you know that when you say something you’re going to do it, even if it costs you, and you don’t take what they’re saying personally, nothing can stop you from achieving what you dream of. People who don’t know they’ve been domesticated don’t know that their actions are a result of the rules and values placed on them. But you do know. You can see through those rules and values and identify what you want out of life. 

You know the rules and values that govern you. Don’t let the words and actions of others take away from that.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

I don’t know about you, but this one is really hard - especially when you’re neurodivergent like me and don’t necessarily interpret situations correctly. It can be especially hard not to make assumptions when you’re close to that person - but those are the moments it’s even more important not to.

If someone in your life acts a certain way, take it for what it is. Don’t read into it. If your contract client asks for a rewrite of their social media posts, don’t assume you did it wrong. Maybe they just wanted it to reflect something that just happened. When someone has to cancel an important call with you, don’t assume they are trying to get out of it to be malicious.

Making assumptions about a certain situation generally just leads to further assumptions. Be assertive. Be impeccable with your words and ask the person outright what they mean if you need clarification (something neurodivergents often do).

4. Always do your best.

If you’re impeccable with your words, don’t take anything personally, and don’t make assumptions, you will be doing your best. As long as you’re always striving to do your best, you can’t fault yourself for where you land. If you’ve been working hard to launch a new business and it doesn’t take off on day one, you still did your best and that’s more important than the outcome of that day. 

So how does this really relate to business? Business is all about making connections and promises. You’re trying to get someone to buy something from you, to work with you, to trust you and to enter into a relationship with you - coaching, courses, nail polish, etc. They have to trust you to buy something. For instance, let’s say you sell contract templates for small businesses. When you’re advertising your offering, your words better reflect exactly what you’re promising. The templates have to be useful for people in specific states or countries, or the customer will accuse you of lying. If someone buys your template package and there’s a problem, you have to show up and help, even if it costs you profits. It will save you money in the long run because your reputation will be intact. 

Additionally, these four agreements will help you navigate your business, professional life, and personal life more easily. When you show up as someone who follows those principles, it will show. People will see it and your integrity and the quality of your work will have them come back for more.

Are you afraid to unlearn the rules?

Realizing that we are under a “spell” - as Don Miguel puts it - is the first step to realigning ourselves. But it can be hard to understand that while our parents and society want the best for us, the way they want us to get there isn’t the path we should be on.

I help my clients rationalize these polar opposite views, identifying what they actually want to be doing with their lives and what success looks like for them. Then we work together to uncover - and break - the rules and values placed upon them. You can achieve whatever you want out of life, no matter what your family and society has told you is acceptable. I can help you get there!

Schedule your free session!

How to Improve Your Life and Business

Have you ever thought about how incredibly limiting the word “but” is? It’s like a stop sign, halting us on our journey. Even when we are agreeing with someone, the moment “but” comes out of our mouths, it negates everything we just said.

“You’re right, but…”

“Okay, I will, but…”

“Yes, I will clean that up, but…”

“But” is a fatalistic word. When you use it, you redirect the conversation from what could be to what cannot. Unconsciously, when we “yes, but”, we give into the fear and hesitation that are holding us back, without realizing it. When you throw a “but” at something, you’ve predetermined that some outcome is inevitable. You stop yourself from following through. “Yes, buts” are excuses wrapped up to look like agreements. That’s why they’re so important to spot. 

“Yes, and” on the other hand is the key to infinite possibilities.

Every few years, I try to do something to get out of my comfort zone and push my limits. So a few years ago, I enrolled in an improv class. Anyone who knows me personally knows that this was VERY outside of my comfort zone. I’m an introvert and love my alone time, so the idea of taking this class was quite overwhelming, and it did, admittedly, take a while for me to get into it. But once I did, I was hooked!

During this class, I was taught the concept of “yes, and.” In improv, “yes, and” keeps the bit going, keeping the theater goers, and the cast members, on their toes, pushing the story along. By using this word, cast members are fostering cooperation and communication between one another, rather than shutting down, and, in turn, they’re able to build trust with one another quickly. Which is what makes the whole process fun for them and the theater goer. 

Now, what if we take that model and apply it to business and life? In business, “yes, and” actually encourages you to listen and be receptive to the ideas of others. It creates trust between parties and encourages you to try out different strategies for success. Even if you’re a solo entrepreneur without a team, this method will inhibit you from making excuses for yourself and pushes you to stay open to the possibilities that surround you. 

Think about it! When you’re trying to come up with a new client workflow, but you keep stopping yourself because of your fear of how long it will take to implement, you’re saying, “Yes, I agree I need a new workflow, but it will take too much time.” If you’re like me, you spiral and start thinking about all the things you will have to change, all the different systems you will have to implement, and how you are going to explain it to your clients. Doing so you create what I refer to as a “mountain”: an insurmountable melting pot of all the things that you believe need to happen before you can actually do the thing. That’s what “but” does to life, it creates mountains to climb instead of showing you a walkable path forward. But (pun intended) if we use the “yes, and” method, we are focusing on the end goal - having a streamlined workflow that will make our lives easier in the end. 

Let me give you an example from my own business. In 2021, I decided to transfer my website over from one web host to another. This was a HUGE undertaking and one that I had been putting off for - literally - years. Instead of continuing to say, “yes I should do that, but the workload will be too much for me.” I thought, “yes I should do that, and I will start small.” It took me a while, but over the course of six months or so, I had moved everything over from Wordpress to Squarespace, including the manual transfer of 250 blog posts! - which has allowed me to improve my SEO and the performance of my  website in such a way that allowed my coaching practice to grow exponentially - essentially improving my life and business.

Ready to trade your “buts” for “ands?” Here are my five best tips to start improv-ing your business and life, getting unstuck, and leaving yourself open for the possibilities that are just around the corner:

1. Commit to “yes, and.” from now on. It’s not enough to just say yes, you have to commit to it. Change your mindset for the long-term, make it a habit to avoid the word “but” as much as you can. . 

2. Be part of the team. Listen to your teammates, whether they are your business partner, spouse, or children, with an open mind. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but you need to respect their suggestions and consider how they might work for your particular issue. 

3. Be part of the solution. Don’t just ask questions and point out obstacles, instead share ideas and work on the solution with your team. Keep adding creatively to what you are building, and let flow and inspiration guide you.

4. Recognize that there are no mistakes, only opportunities. Some of the best ideas will come from accidents. If you say “but” to everything, you won’t give yourself the chance to experience new things - and fail at them. Failure deserves to be celebrated, AND to be learned from 🙂

5. Make sure your team has your back. Your team should be made up of people who will push you into taking new opportunities and trying out new strategies, rather than sitting back and letting you call all the shots. Even the best employers or business owners need a gut check from someone they trust.

Remember, these tips will also work easily for a solo entrepreneur without a team. Instead of focusing on collaborating with others, you are focusing on dropping your internal guards and learning to acknowledge what you really want out of your life and business. Do you want to work 60 hour weeks? Do you want to build in monthly retreats for yourself? Are there days you want to keep your children home from daycare? The “yes, and” method will help you lead you to greater self-trust and confidence, which will, infinitely, enhance your life and business. 

The point of the “yes, and” method is to allow you to become more adaptable to change. The businesses that do the best work are the ones that can encourage new ideas and perspectives, stay flexible, and stay open to new possibilities.

The key is to treat your life and business like an improv class. Keep your heart and mind open to the suggestions of others - even your inner child - and before you say “yes, but,” think about what opportunities saying “yes, and” could bring about. 

What would change? How would your life and business improve if you said yes and then became a part of the collective intelligence, of the amazing experience that is your life?

Afraid to say, “yes, and?”

It can be overwhelming to try new things or to follow through on elaborate plans. Saying, “yes, and” can be scary, but the possibilities it opens you and your business up to are worth the fear. I tell my clients all the time to just take a leap! One step in front of the other until you are out in open air, soaring above the ground.

You are capable of scary things and I’m here to help! In our coaching sessions, I help my clients identify the cliff, assemble the parachute, and take that first - or tenth - step towards the edge. We will review your “yes, buts,” and see how your life and business can improve with a little “yes, and” flip!

Schedule your free session!

Navigating Entrepreneurial Growing Pains

Have you ever experienced that phenomenon where you are in a really slow season of your business, begging the Universe to provide you with more opportunities to grow, and then all of a sudden every available opportunity hits at once? You’re so excited for the chance to do business and show off your skills, so you say yes to everything, working yourself to the bone trying to hit all your deadlines on time, but then you finish and need a month or two of rest to recover.

Me too.

Since starting my entrepreneurial journey, I’ve had a hard time enjoying the fruits of all my hard work. I’d spend so much time setting up trying to drum up business without seeing any results. Then all of a sudden, the business opportunities would fly in and I’d be completely overwhelmed. I often felt like a chicken with my head cut off, running around with no sustainable strategy for how to get all this work done without burning out. 

In the years since, I’ve tried many tools to get through these busy seasons without burning out, but the ones that worked the best, that have continued to work for me, are the ones that seem counterintuitive. When I’m in my busiest season, the best thing I can do is slow down and take a breath. Even now, when I’m busier than ever, I struggle to manage my time without taking a moment to pause and reflect.

By pausing, I’m able to create a strategy for this particular busy season that allows me to thrive. Here are a few of the strategies that help me manage the growing pains, both personally and in my business:

1. Identify your vision and mission. All businesses start with a vision, whether it’s a vision of your personal future or the future of your company. When we’re in our busy seasons, we can lose focus of what it is we set out to do when we started our entrepreneurial endeavors. By setting aside time to refocus on the purpose behind our businesses or projects, and what we hope to get out of it, we’re better able to set boundaries and stave off overwhelm. 

2. Create your ideal team. When your business is growing and you’re struggling to meet demand, building a solid team around you is one of the best things you can do to alleviate stress. But great teams are not created accidentally. It takes time, patience, and a want to surround yourself with people you can effectively manage and interact with. That’s why it’s important to work on this when things aren’t busy. But if you haven’t, don’t fall into the trap of not doing it when you need it most! Once your ideal team is assembled, fervent energy manifests and stress dissipates, leaving only creative approaches to handling your growing pains.

3. Learn to delegate. Entrepreneurs and small business owners usually strike out on their own because they want to be their own boss. And when you have spent time working for yourself, doing all the tasks, and only having to hold yourself accountable, you can forget to delegate when things get busy. Look for support based on individual skills and expertise. Take advantage of it, let go of trying to do everything yourself, and the growing pains will be easier to navigate (and you’ll *finally* learn to delegate!).

4. Build strategy and SOPs early on. It’s important to have strategy and standard operating procedures in place prior to, or at least at the beginning of, the busy season to help prevent growing pains from stalling your work. I hired Alex recently, a new and amazing Chief of Staff. It's been a good year since I knew I had to find support to be able to navigate my growing business. So I’d started recording weekly marketing and communications tasks using Loom. When Alex came on board a few weeks ago, she had a (albeit small) library of SOPs to get her going. 

5. Letting go of growth and being okay with it. There’s this pressure in business that makes it seem like every idea, every project, needs to be striving for maximum growth. But what if you don’t want maximum growth? What if you’re content with where your business is and not enjoying the experience of growing pains? It’s okay to sit back and relax into the comfort of where you are right now. Also, a company can be a company of one and be very successful. There’s an amazing book by Paul Jarvis that speaks exactly to that. If staying lean and free of the burden of growth is your goal, I recommend you read it.

Life as an entrepreneur is always exciting. There’s always an opportunity for growth, both personally and professionally. They give you a chance to dig deep and push yourself to identify what systems are working for you, what isn’t necessary for success, and help you see what needs to evolve and what can be let go.

Overwhelmed by too many opportunities?

The five steps above sound easy to some entrepreneurs, but for most they might find it difficult to take that pause. In the past 25 years, I’ve experienced similar issues, both in my own work and in my client’s. This is why I became a certified career and business coach: I wanted my clients to navigate building and growing businesses and projects with ease and flow, and without the overwhelm.

You deserve an opportunity to see your company grow and not feel overwhelmed or stressed. In our coaching sessions, we will dive deep into how to grow your business successfully, your vision and mission for it, and how we can get you there feeling confident and fulfilled.

Schedule your free session!