Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Are you secretly an entrepreneur, and how can you develop those skills to succeed?
In my work, I meet with clients daily who are afraid that their lives aren’t turning out the way they thought they would. Their current world is so different from the goals and dreams they had as a child. We discuss their fears and try to figure out what they would have done if resources and money hadn’t been a factor. Often, they end up discussing a product or idea they would have created.
I love these moments. This is when I get to point out that they are an entrepreneur. They may have gone to school for engineering or medicine, but if they’ve always dreamed of producing a particular type of silicone scar cream that works on stretch marks, they’re an entrepreneur. The same is true for the mother who loved planners but didn’t like how limiting they were for parents with multiple children. If she believes she could create something better, she’s an entrepreneur.
Are you picking up what I’m putting down?
If you have an idea or a product you think would help someone, if you see challenges everywhere and come up with solutions in your mind, you’re an entrepreneur.
So, how does this help you? Why would knowing you’re an entrepreneur help you start a business?
Being an entrepreneur is not a job description; it’s a personality trait. Knowing your personality can help you figure out how to achieve your goals. Take the doctor who wants to create the scar cream above. If they think they’re just a doctor, they won’t try making the cream. They’ll offer the idea to someone else in that industry. But, if they believe they’re an entrepreneur, they will take the time to figure out how to get the cream developed, researched, tested, and into public hands.
Now that you know you’re an entrepreneur, how can you develop those skills to succeed?
Understand your competition. Entrepreneurs are good at tunnel vision. We know the product or service we want to offer and hone in on that. Sometimes, though, we forget people who might have similar ideas. An essential skill as an entrepreneur is to figure out who your competition might be and why they might be able to produce the product or service quicker or more efficiently than you. Then, develop a plan to stand out and move forward. If you’re creating a planner with families in mind, you’ll want to know what other family planners are on the market, what makes them family-friendly, and what you think they’re missing. Investigate their marketing strategies, where they post online, and how they talk to their customers. Figure out your own voice and marketing plan to make yourself stand out.
Make sure there is a need. If there is no need for your product or service, there is no market for it. When you have an idea, you want to ensure that it’s something people want or need. The second best entrepreneurial skill is being a solution to someone’s problem. You saw a challenge and think you have an answer to it. But is that true? For instance, if you want to create a course on underwater basket weaving, you better know if anyone wants to learn how. Alternatively, if you know there is a need to teach small businesses the benefits of email marketing, you’ll know who to market to after you create your e-course on the topic.
Network like your life depends on it. Networking is one of my favorite things to do and one of the things I’m incredibly passionate about. I think one of the reasons I’ve been successful is how much I enjoy networking and connecting with people. When starting as an entrepreneur, even before you have a solid idea or product, networking can help fuel your fire like nothing else can. When you network, you create valuable connections with people who might be interested in investing in your business later on. It also enables you to expand your knowledge and learn from other professionals or even meet a mentor or two who will have a lasting impact on your work.
Learning that you’re an entrepreneur is the first step to going after the life and work you want to pursue. Discovering how entrepreneurial traits can improve your success is the foundation of your success.
Got an Idea for a Product or Service?
When you have an idea for a product or service but aren’t sure how to get started, it can be super overwhelming.
That’s where I come in! I help my clients turn those ideas into tangible things that make a difference in their lives and the world. Burning to get started?
How to stop getting stuck in the Zone of Ideation
Have you ever started to think about something - an event, a business, a job, a partner - and then gotten stuck in this loop where your mind just wanders into every possibility - good and bad, but you never seem to get out of that loop?
If you nodded yes, great. You’re in good company!
When creativity hits, I start doing something with it to prevent myself from getting stuck in that loop of questioning and thinking. Sometimes, though, it’s inevitable, and my mind starts to wander. I begin tothink of all the ways I could do this thing I was just inspired to do, and before I know it, I’ve talked myself into - and out of - a hundred different scenarios for how to bring it to life or if I even should.
For instance, when I was thinking about doing a book launch in NYC, I walked through all the reasons this was a good idea, all the reasons it was a bad idea, and all the ways I could find the time to organise such an event while also continuing to coach, write, and speak. There were a few days where I was fully present in my mind, going through every scenario of how launching “Get Unstuck!” in NYC could play out. I got so lost thinking about it that I almost didn’t do the work I needed to do to make it happen.
I was in a loop, and it was getting harder and harder.
I like to call this loop the “Zone of Ideation” (ZOI).
Usually, you hit the ZOI right before you fully enter the tar pit of stuckness. You’ll be traveling along, an idea will hit, and before you can do anything about it, you’ve already started your loop of question, answer, question, distraction, answer, distraction, question, etc. Before you know it, that loop has pulled you into the tar. You’re sinking below its depths as it burbles alongside you.
You’re stuck.
Our goal is to either avoid the ZOI altogether or pull yourself out of it before you hit the pit.
So, how do you go about doing that?
Identify your automatic response. Your automatic response is precisely what it sounds like - the response your brain and body make when it experiences a particular stimulus. A good example of an automatic response is breathing. Breathing is so intuitive you don’t even realize you’re doing it - until you’re gasping for it. Another example of an automatic response is how your body feels when you’re called on to share during a work call or your go-to response when someone says how are you. When creativity or an idea hits, what’s your automatic response? Do you burrow and hide? Do you ruminate? Do you start doing? What are the first signs? Make yourself aware of them so we can start to change them.
Change your mindset. I know it sounds simpler said than done, but sometimes, it really is as simple as doing it. When it comes to our mindsets, we’re either fixed or flexible (commonly called a growth mindset). People with fixed mindsets have difficulty changing how they see things. People with flexible mindsets have an easier time changing their views and going with the flow. The best part is that fixed mindsets can become flexible with just a little work. Once you’ve identified your automatic response and which mindset you lean towards, you can start adapting your mindset to fit the desired outcome.
Decide on a goal and stick to it. When you have difficulty retreating from the ZOI, it’s probably because you’ve created several goals and want to achieve all of them at once. Instead, focus on one goal you know you can achieve soon and then go after it. Once you’ve accomplished that goal, you can identify the next - and the next - and the next. Before you know it, you’ll have achieved precisely what you wanted. I like to look at these goals as a bucket list instead. Things that I want to achieve just for me, no one else. The word “goal” makes it sound like it’s for someone else’s benefit or some external reward. Bucket list items are solely for me and I can pursue them slowly and with meaning.
When you enter the ZOI, it can be tough to pull yourself out before getting truly stuck. However, the more you practice the steps above, the easier it will be. Then, one day, avoiding the ZOI or getting unstuck more quickly will become second nature to you.
P.S. Don’t forget Get Unstuck! is now on the shelves on Amazon! If you’re interested in how to get unstuck when you’re sinking in the tar pit of stuckness, this book is the only roadmap you’ll need! Click here to find the Amazon site nearest to you.
Dangerously close to the Zone of Ideation?
My clients know that mindset work is one of my favorite things to do with them. It is so incredible to see them think one way and then shift not only their mindset but also their actions within a short time.
If you feel like the ZOI is pulling you in, forcing you to focus on all the things that could be from this one idea, it’s time to learn some new tools!
Experiencing technical difficulties: Sometimes things don’t go your way, and that’s okay…
My newest book, Get Unstuck! came out today!
And if you just did a double take at that or thought I wrote the wrong date, you are half right…
Originally, Get Unstuck! was set to launch on October 25th - however - God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, had other plans for me. What should have been a simple change of date turned into a major issue that required technical assistance and a whole lot of faith.
Several things added to this debacle, including formatting issues, communication disruptions, and serious technical glitches that could have derailed the entire launch. And I truly believe that my behavior during those 12 hours is the reason that things worked out so well.
Think about it - the last time something threw you for a loop and ruined your day, did any of the next five tasks go well? Or did your day suddenly rush off course, crash, and burn?
I’m guessing it was the latter.
That’s because our mindset impacts our attitude, which impacts our environment, which, in turn, impacts our mindset. If you have a fixed mindset - one that doesn’t do well with change or challenges - you might find that your day is completely trashed because of one issue early on. You can’t shake out of the negative headspace that “everything will go wrong.”
But, if you have a growth mindset, you can see the issue for what it is and stop yourself from carrying it in the next moment of the day. You go into problem-solving mode and work to fix things without reacting.
The truth is, ten years ago, I definitely would have freaked out. My entire week would have been ruined and I would have fallen victim to all the worst-case scenarios. This time, though, I saw the situation for what it was - a chance to practice what I preach and not have it impact my whole day. The issue was fixed and while it was a bummer that my initial pre-orders were canceled because of an Amazon glitch, I know there’s a reason for it.
My attitude is positively impacting my environment, which is positively impacting my mindset, which is reinforcing my positive attitude.
So how can you cultivate a growth mindset and steer clear of attitude derailments? Follow the steps below to get a peak into what I do every day to prevent my mind from wandering into negativity territory.
Accept the situation. I think a lot of the issues we get with our mindset come from refusing to acknowledge that what is happening is happening. Whatever the situation, you have to accept that it is happening so you can prevent it from following you into every other situation that day. For example, if you spill coffee on class notes and start chiding yourself for being a terrible coffee sipper, that mindset will follow you into the next task. You might find that you are dropping more things, cajoling yourself, and breaking things unnecessarily. However, if you spill the coffee and start cleaning it up without making yourself feel bad, your subconscious will recognize that mistakes happen and it doesn’t have to affect the rest of your day.
Think about how your favorite person would react. If you admire someone like Ghandi or Amelia Earheart, think about how they would react in a moment of strife. Would they crumble and let the bad mood follow them? Or would they problem solve their way out of it and protect their peace? I’m gonna go with the second option.
Set realistic goals. This might not sound like something you can do after an issue pops up, but the reality is that setting realistic goals is something you can do all along the way, whatever is happening in the moment. If you’re working on something and you realize the timeline you’ve given yourself is too fast paced, it’s okay to slow down and switch it up.
Try something new. If you’ve noticed that your reaction negatively impacts every other area of your life, it’s time to try something new. Part of having a growth mindset is trying new things and finding what works for you in a particular situation - and knowing that it can evolve over time.
Check in with yourself. Probably the most important thing to do when trying to cultivate a growth mindset is to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about what just happened? What emotions are coming up? Who do you hear in your head that is hurting your heart? How do you think you’d feel if you responded in a different way?
The only thing we are responsible for - and in control of - are our own reactions. If we are constantly getting overwhelmed with things and outcomes we can’t control, we won’t get anything done and we will constantly be living in fear.
I don’t know about you, but I refuse to live in that headspace any longer.
P.S. you can order Get Unstuck! today on Kindle, paperback, or hardcover!
Ready to ditch the fixed mindset?
Our mindset determines so much about our day to day reactions, but also our longterm mental health. Those of us with growth mindsets react more healthily to problems. Whereas people with fixed mindsets can let their frustrations overtake them, getting them stuck without the will to MOVE.
If you want to learn how to change your mindset, get unstuck, and start MOVE-in’, I can help!
Creative Generalists Don’t Fit In and That’s Okay! (P.S. you can stop applying for specialist jobs now)
When we were cave people, each one of us was good at multiple things. You had to be. We lived in a community where everyone worked together. Sure, there were some people who were better at hunting than others, and some that were better at taking care of the children or gathering roots and berries for supper. But everyone needed to have all of the skills so that if one person died, the rest of the community could still survive. Imagine if one person in your community was the only one with the skills to start a fire and then they were gone? The rest of the community would not survive the winter.
Somewhere along the way, between the agricultural and the industrial revolution, society decided that having a specialty was more important than having multiple skills. We started going to college to specialize in one type of career, and if you were unable to make up your mind on what you were going to major in, you felt like an outsider. The day I realized I could have as many jobs in as many fields as I wanted, was the day I learned real freedom.
Unfortunately, it can be a tough lesson to learn and an even tougher path to take because we are conditioned from birth to think we have to pick one job, one career, one skill for the rest of our lives. If we try to transition out of that role to something different, we are often looked down on.
With clients, I often share the story of The Ugly Duckling because it’s so similar to what creative generalist experience. In the story, the Mama Duck is waiting for her six ducklings to hatch. One day, five of the eggs hatch, but the biggest egg takes its time and hatches the next day. When it finally breaks out, the duckling is “odd-looking.” Not only is he much bigger than his siblings, he’s dark gray instead of yellow and walks with a funny wobble. Immediately, his siblings see - and point out - that there is something wrong with their brother. Mama Duck gets upset and takes them all swimming. The other ducklings call the Ugly Duckling ugly the whole way to the pond. The Ugly Duckling could swim like his siblings, but when he tried to play with them, they wouldn’t and instead made fun of him for being different.
One day, the other ducklings told him to leave, and he did. On his journey away from his family, he tried to fit in with a number of other animals, including two adult ducks. But he didn’t fit in anywhere until he found a new lake and a flock of large white birds flying overhead. They were beautiful, with long white bodies and slim necks. He watched them glide through the air and fly away. The Ugly Duckling was all alone and spent the winter by himself before being rescued by a farmer.
During the spring, the farmer brought him back to the lake where he met the beautiful white birds again who invited him to be friends and to fly with them. When he saw his reflection in the lake, he realized he looked just like them. He was no longer the Ugly Duckling but a beautiful swan.
If you’ve felt like the Ugly Duckling know this: there’s nothing wrong with you, you’ve just been misdiagnosed. You’re ont a duck, you're a swan! Creative generalists don’t need to fit into specialist jobs. We need to embrace being different; embrace being rebels and having an inner activist that hates injustice, authority and has a strong sense of right and wrong. It’s ok to go after all of the jobs, roles, and careers you want to pursue. It’s ok to break away from the people, places, and things that make you feel like you’re not good enough and have to conform. If the Ugly Duckling had stayed with his duckling siblings, he would have felt bad about himself his entire life. He would only have focused on how he was different from the rest, instead of realizing how awesome he was! By leaving the nest, he was able to find out he was a swan and that he did belong. He was able to embrace his differences and be himself.
We need to be more like the Ugly Duckling and embrace our differences so we can really excel in our lives. It’s okay to be outside the norm, to be unconventional - it’s actually a superpower! So stop trying to squeeze yourself into a tiny box, stop applying for specialist jobs and start pursuing a life and career that works for you.
So what are you going to do going forward?
Embrace being different.
And use those gifts to find roles that allow you to spread your wings and fly (allow for a variety of your skills and talents to be utilized), rather than restrict you to specializing in one field.
That’s it! It’s simple once we step outside of the idea that we have to do exactly what society says and stop believing that niching down, choosing (don’t you hate that word?), and limiting ourselves is the only way to excel in life.
Are you ready to fly?
It can be overwhelming when you think about leaving the comfort of your specialist role, even when you dream about having something else to do that allows you to flex your creative generalist abilities instead of boring your brains out every day.
This is where I come in! Together we can figure out your creative generalist skills and sweet spot, the fields you’re interested in working in, and how to use those skills to land your dream job!
Shift Shock and How to Avoid It
Have you ever had this experience: you work so hard to get a new job, maybe even shift careers, and then the minute you’re in your new role, you regret it so completely that you want to run away? Or throw up right where you are… Whatever you feel, it’s so intense that you are left in this catatonic state.
Well, that’s “shift shock.”
According to this article by The Muse, 72% of workers have experienced shift shock. Part of the issue is that we have built up this idea that the grass is greener on the other side of this role or career, and then we feel either a wee bit let down once we get there, or overwhelmed by the unfamiliarity of it.
There is a lot to be said about the comfort of our old roles. While we may have not enjoyed them so much and there was a reason we wanted to switch careers, we were comfortable in them - both the everyday tasks and the complaining about how we wanted more or something different. Then suddenly you have the role you wanted and everything is new. We don’t know what tasks to get done first, how to navigate the new social scenarios, and what kind of clothes to wear to work every day (especially true if you work from home).
The darker side of shift shock is when you start a new job and realize your employers have lied about, or didn’t explain, the expectations they have for your role, which leads you to accept the position under the wrong precepts. This is even harder when you are switching to a remote role where conveying expectations is entirely dependent on an interviewer who is not used to the virtual reality you’re entering into. Company culture is also difficult to discern prior to starting when the role is completely online, making shift shock even more apparent and uncomfortable.
So now that we know what shift shock is - and how common it is - the question becomes, how the heck do we avoid it?
State your expectations. When you go for your interview, or start your first day, it is important that you are very clear about your expectations of this role. That means you lay out the exact responsibilities you believe you will have, what your working hours will be like, and describe your work-from-home policy (yes, that’s right, you’re allowed to define how you want to work!) to the interviewer/onboarder so that they can clarify if it fits with theirs. If everyone is starting on the same page, there will be less shift shock.
Ask about employee retention. A lot of what creates a great company culture is how the company tries to retain its employees. What do they do that helps their employees? How do they build trust with their employees? Ask those questions and make sure you like the answers. If you don’t, it’s probably going to be harder to adjust to the role.
Meet other employees on LinkedIn. Whether you’re in the interview process or it's your first week, getting information from fellow employees is incredibly important. Networking and reaching out to them on LinkedIn is one way to learn about the company culture and what the company expects of them. If you find out that you are salaried for a 40-hour week, but they expect you to work before and after work, and on the weekends, without overtime, and that doesn’t align with what you want out of the role (or with how life should be), you can jump ship right there.
Don’t be afraid to leave. If you find out that the company misled you about their expectations, it’s okay to leave. While you might have left your prior job, you can still create an exit strategy for this one. I know we are all used to the notion that we must keep a job for at least a year to make our resumes look better, but the reality is, having good mental health is more important.
Moreover, if you think the shift shock is simply a byproduct of your own expectations not being met, but you know in your gut it will get better as soon as you're comfortable, then just work on getting comfortable. The steps above will still be beneficial - especially if you are trying to meet your co-workers and get to know them.
Remember, it’s totally normal to feel shift shock. You’ve just campaigned your way out of something you’re familiar with for something new. It’s like being a kindergartner on their first day. You’ve heard so much about this cool place called school and all the things you will experience. You’re excited and ready to start, but then on the first day, you cry at the classroom door because it’s all so overwhelming. Within two weeks, you’re feeling better and love your teacher and classmates.
Give it some time, but then again, don’t be afraid to switch again if you really know in your heart of hearts you’re not where you want to be. Because you know what, you’re allowed to do that.
Worried about shift shock?
The idea of shift shock can be intimidating - probably more intimidating than actually shifting roles is to you. But not only is it a completely normal feeling, there are things you can do to avoid it.
I help my clients identify the roles they would like to try out to build the lives they want. Part of this is getting clear on the type of company they want to work for. When they enter the interviewing stage, we walk through all the questions they should ask so that they can avoid shift shock when they get the role. If you’re ready to start, I can help!
I’ve outgrown my career. What should I do next?
Most high-achieving (and creative) employees end up outgrowing their jobs and careers rather quickly. Part of the problem is that we pick up tasks easily and once we find ourselves bored with the work, it can be hard to motivate ourselves to stick with it. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When you outgrow your work, it just means it’s time for something new.
Think about it! When you were little, you wanted to do so many different things with your life. At one point, I wanted to be a sea witch, a librarian, and an astronaut all at once. I dreamt of wearing a voluminous black dress, with giant black rimmed glasses, holding a copy of a Tale of Two Cities, while floating in the International Space Station’s anti-gravity. If you ask any five-year old, they don’t think of one job they want to do forever. They come up with six or seven and those six or seven change from day to day - sometimes minute to minute.
We only think we want one career for our entire lives because that’s what society tells us. You go to school for a dozen years, get pressured into picking a major in college for a life you kind-of-sort-of want, and then come out of college and immediately start climbing a corporate ladder. At some point, you get so bored with it all that you start thinking about what life would look like if you’d made different choices - or perhaps if you had actually *made* a choice..
Many people will live their entire lives wondering what if, but I’m willing to wager that if you’re here reading this blog, you might be ready to make the shift. And you can and are allowed to make the shift. It’s okay to have two - or even ten - different careers in your lifetime. According to this article, the average person has twelve different jobs and almost 30% of people have changed their careers post college.
Now that you know you can make a career transition, you’re probably wondering how. (It always comes down to “how” doesn’t it?) Here’s how:
Why? Start by thinking about why you want to change your current career. Maybe you aren’t being challenged enough. Or maybe the industry is dying out. Whatever your feelings are, they’re valid. My first career was in the web industry, and while that is not a dying industry by any means, I felt like I was choking on the corporate ladder. I came out of college and climbed and climbed, never letting myself think about what I actually wanted and why I wanted it. When I finally sat down and asked myself why I wanted to transition, the answer was simple: I wanted to be happier. I wanted to live my life on my rules and my terms and no longer worry about what everyone else wanted for me.
What other careers are you interested in? Think about what your end goal is. If you were to change careers, how would you achieve that end goal? If you don’t change your career now, will 80 year-old-you have regrets about your choices? Once you’ve thought this through, write down the steps you think you will need to accomplish to make future you proud. When I was trying to figure out how to transition from my web agency into my coaching career, I was so scared to take the first step, but I knew if I didn’t shake things up, I would forever regret it.
When can you make the change? Career transitions usually don’t happen overnight. Especially if you value the company you work for. A good thing to think about is when you can transition out of your role and into your new career. What life events, or career events, will inhibit that change? How can you address those so they don’t affect you?
How can your current skills help you in the career you want? Your ability to get a job, or start a business, in a new industry or role, will rely a lot on your past experience and current knowledge base. Figuring out how to use those skills, whether they are hard or soft skills, in a new arena is half the battle to convince your mind that this transition is possible. For instance, if you are a trained cosmetologist who would like to move into remote bookkeeping for hair salons, you can use your knowledge of how hair salons work to help them manage their finances. If you aren’t super secure in your bookkeeping abilities, you can always take a short certification course to get up to speed and support your resume.
Start networking. Networking is a great way to connect with people in the industry or roles you are hoping to transition into. They can offer advice and guidance to help you move along that new path more easily. Also, they might know of job openings and be able to vouch for your abilities when you apply. A lot of the people I first met when I transitioned to coaching had made similar changes earlier in their lives. Some of them have even become my mentors and helped me feel empowered by my transition.
It can be super scary to transition careers, but the reality is, if your gut is telling you it’s time, it’s definitely time. Think about what your future self would be proud of you for doing, how this transition will positively impact their life, and then go for it! And if you need a little help, book one of my free 30-minute chats. You never know what we might come up with!
Scared to change your career?
Changing careers can be a scary prospect, but it can also be an empowering one. You are making the choice to leave behind what you are comfortable doing, for a career that is more challenging and fulfilling.
I help my clients discover their passions and find work that aligns with those passions. Together we will discover what it is you really want to be doing with this next part of your life and how to achieve those goals in a sustainable way. If you're ready to change your career, I can help you get there!
The Four Agreements and How They Can Help You Succeed In Business
Each morning, I recite the Four Agreements (old Toltec Wisdom):
Be impeccable with your words.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Now, I wish I had come up with these incredibly simple - but powerful - agreements, but I did not. Don Miguel Ruiz published The Four Agreements in 1997. Growing up in rural Mexico, Don Miguel was the son of a Toltec faith healer, and the grandson of a Toltec shaman - or nagual. Despite growing up in such a faith based culture, he went on to practice neurosurgery in Tijuana until he was involved in a near-fatal car crash. He left medicine and began to study life and humanity through the lens of the Toltec teachings.
According to The Four Agreements, when we are born, we learn all the rules and values our family and society have. They impose these rules and values onto us through a punishment and reward system - like how we train animals, for example dogs. Where our true nature is to love and explore life, we learn what others think we should be and are forced to change. If we do the “right” thing, we are rewarded. If we do the “wrong” thing, we are punished.
Over the course of our lifetimes, we are domesticated into who society and our family think we should be and we lose that ability to be truly happy.
In the years since first reading this book, I’ve started each day reciting The Four Agreements to remind myself of who I am - the real me. And to practice strong tools to stand in the world in an authentic and anchored way. While this has helped me in my personal life tremendously, it has also helped me in my professional life.
When we strive to be our authentic self in business, we are better capable of building businesses and having careers that fulfill us and the people around us. By practicing The Four Agreements in my business, I’ve been able to alter the way I do business. Instead of focusing on the outcome of my sales efforts, I focus on the outcome of my words and thoughts, and how they affect my clients in a positive way, which ends up affecting my sales.
1. Be impeccable with your words.
This first agreement is probably the hardest to do, but to complete the other agreements, you have to start with this one. It is the foundation of the four agreements. Your words are a reflection of who you are. If you speak rudely, if you cut people with your words, or don’t follow through with your promises, how will anyone be able to trust what you say? Clients, employees, and consultants will retreat from working with you.
If you say you’re going to do something, you better do it - even if it costs you. Prove your worth by proving your integrity.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
When you’re impeccable with your words, you don’t have to take anything personally. If you have a client, business partner, or family member that’s working against you, you might feel like giving up. But if you know that when you say something you’re going to do it, even if it costs you, and you don’t take what they’re saying personally, nothing can stop you from achieving what you dream of. People who don’t know they’ve been domesticated don’t know that their actions are a result of the rules and values placed on them. But you do know. You can see through those rules and values and identify what you want out of life.
You know the rules and values that govern you. Don’t let the words and actions of others take away from that.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
I don’t know about you, but this one is really hard - especially when you’re neurodivergent like me and don’t necessarily interpret situations correctly. It can be especially hard not to make assumptions when you’re close to that person - but those are the moments it’s even more important not to.
If someone in your life acts a certain way, take it for what it is. Don’t read into it. If your contract client asks for a rewrite of their social media posts, don’t assume you did it wrong. Maybe they just wanted it to reflect something that just happened. When someone has to cancel an important call with you, don’t assume they are trying to get out of it to be malicious.
Making assumptions about a certain situation generally just leads to further assumptions. Be assertive. Be impeccable with your words and ask the person outright what they mean if you need clarification (something neurodivergents often do).
4. Always do your best.
If you’re impeccable with your words, don’t take anything personally, and don’t make assumptions, you will be doing your best. As long as you’re always striving to do your best, you can’t fault yourself for where you land. If you’ve been working hard to launch a new business and it doesn’t take off on day one, you still did your best and that’s more important than the outcome of that day.
So how does this really relate to business? Business is all about making connections and promises. You’re trying to get someone to buy something from you, to work with you, to trust you and to enter into a relationship with you - coaching, courses, nail polish, etc. They have to trust you to buy something. For instance, let’s say you sell contract templates for small businesses. When you’re advertising your offering, your words better reflect exactly what you’re promising. The templates have to be useful for people in specific states or countries, or the customer will accuse you of lying. If someone buys your template package and there’s a problem, you have to show up and help, even if it costs you profits. It will save you money in the long run because your reputation will be intact.
Additionally, these four agreements will help you navigate your business, professional life, and personal life more easily. When you show up as someone who follows those principles, it will show. People will see it and your integrity and the quality of your work will have them come back for more.
Are you afraid to unlearn the rules?
Realizing that we are under a “spell” - as Don Miguel puts it - is the first step to realigning ourselves. But it can be hard to understand that while our parents and society want the best for us, the way they want us to get there isn’t the path we should be on.
I help my clients rationalize these polar opposite views, identifying what they actually want to be doing with their lives and what success looks like for them. Then we work together to uncover - and break - the rules and values placed upon them. You can achieve whatever you want out of life, no matter what your family and society has told you is acceptable. I can help you get there!