How to Think Yourself Into a Brand New and Magnificent Life

Sometimes, when life is going just right, the only thing we do is wait for it to go wrong. We anticipate and wait for that so-called other shoe to drop. Right now, so many great things are happening in my life and at work, and the fruits of seeds I planted many months or years ago are finally coming out. This reminded me of how accustomed we are to expecting bad things - not good ones - to happen; at least, I know I used to be like that. And honestly, sometimes I still am.

Just last week, with everything feeling right - the sun shining, my new start-up off to a great start, friends and family all in reasonably good health and happy - there it was: the undeniable and oh-so-familiar feeling of doom looming. Something had to go wrong! Everything was going too well, and I was simply feeling too good!

Feeling like doom is coming has been my experience for the biggest part of my life. I know it's the same for many of my clients. Before starting my journey of transformation and anxiety-free living, I was so used to it that even when things were going well, my brain would actively search for something to be worried or unhappy about.

But here's the thing: life is not meant to be lived in fear and worry. We are not meant to expect the worst constantly.

We're meant to live in joy and abundance, regardless of our circumstances. It took me a long time to truly understand this. Still, I'm now at a place where I can confidently say that we have the power to choose how we experience life and that we are manifesting our existence and everything in it every moment of every day.

We may not be able to control what happens around us, but we can control how we react. Even more so, we have a say in what we attract into our lives and how we shape our reality. I shared a lot about this in my book "Get Unstuck!" because it's so important: our thoughts create our reality.

Think about it for a minute.

People who don't have the negative thoughts you or I have don't have the fears either! Can you imagine?

I heard a lawyer share his story recently. When asked how he chose law as his field, he shared how he had always loved conflict. It felt like a game to him, how good he was at it, and how when someone disagreed with him, he enjoyed going into the conversation to get them to see he was right. As someone who has always dreaded conflict, I lost my breath there for a second. I NEVER imagined anyone could enjoy conflict, let alone be good at it. But when I thought about it a bit more, I realized that - of course - to be a good lawyer, not being afraid of conflict is sort of an asset :)

Again, it's all about our thoughts. So, I imagined what my life would be like if I didn't have any negative thoughts about conflict but looked at it from the perspective of a conflict-loving lawyer.

And, you know what, it changes EVERYTHING!

It was a profound moment of realization for me. Of course, I already knew that changing my thoughts changed my life, but this thing called growth is like an onion. It keeps on giving! When you think you've reached the last layer, it turns out there's another one underneath. So, I continue peeling my onion every day - in a positive way, of course!

I've also learned that the power of our thoughts affects our lives and radiates outward to those around us. Have you ever noticed how being around someone who is constantly negative and complaining can bring your mood down? On the other hand, being around someone positive and uplifting can instantly boost your energy and mindset.

So why not choose to be that person? Why not channel the thoughts of the person you want to be in this world? Changing your thoughts can transform your experiences profoundly.

Fear, doubt, and self-limiting beliefs are the number one blocks for many creatives and entrepreneurs. But what if we approached challenges with curiosity and excitement instead, just like lawyers approach conflict? What if we could see difficulties not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities for growth and learning?

What if, when everything is going well, we invite more good vibes into our lives and believe even better things are coming rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop?

For me, this shift in mindset was empowering. It felt like a door opening to a world where I had control over my life. I began to see that my thoughts were like seeds - when I planted positive, empowering beliefs, they blossomed into actions aligned with my goals and dreams. My current life is a testament to this. When I realized how powerful my thoughts were, I started to manifest a reality where fear didn’t dictate my decisions, and possibilities were endless.

You possess this power, too. It's within each of us to reshape our thoughts and, consequently, our lives. By consciously choosing to cultivate thoughts that are good for you and not entertaining the ones that are keeping you small, anxious, or fearful, you can unlock your true potential and create a life that not only meets but exceeds your wildest dreams.

Imagine the freedom and joy of a life unburdened by unnecessary fears and doubts. Imagine being like that lawyer. You have the power to make this your reality.

Here are five tips to help you shift your mindset toward one that is empowering and limitless:

1. Challenge your negative thoughts. The first and most crucial part of changing your negative thinking patterns is noticing and challenging your negative thoughts. When a negative thought pops into your mind, ask yourself if it is based on fact or fear. In 99% of the cases, it will be, so consciously choose to replace it with a more positive and empowering belief.
   An example from my little mantra flashcards (see point two below) is the recurring belief that I held for the longest part of my life (which caused me to choose horrible partners to be with) that I must work to deserve attention or love. I have successfully changed that belief, and it has transformed my life. On my mantra cards (which I still read at least three times a day while listening to a manifestation playlist from Spotify), it says about this belief:
   "I deserve attention and love just because I am. I am enough just as I am. I don't need to work for attention or love. Love is not equal to work. I am lovable just as I am. I don't need to do anything to deserve love."  Repeating these mantras every day for years now has totally changed what I believe about myself and how lovable I am.

2. Create mantra flashcards and read them multiple times every day.  Mantra flashcards are small notes you write to yourself with positive affirmations and empowering beliefs. These could be simple phrases like "I am enough," "I am worthy," or "I am capable." You can add personal mantras that speak to your specific fears or doubts. The key is to read these cards multiple times a day, especially when you're in a negative headspace. This will help to reprogram your subconscious mind and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.
   I have cards for all aspects of my life and thoughts I want to change: my life, my relationships, my work, my goals... I take them with me everywhere and truly enjoy reading them; it's like a tiny meditation multiple times a day that reminds me who I really am and where I'm going. Powerful stuff!

3. Surround yourself with positivity. This can include the people you spend time with, the media you consume, and even your living space. Make an effort to surround yourself with positive and uplifting people who support and encourage you. Follow social media accounts that promote self-love and acceptance, and unfollow those that make you feel like crap. Surround yourself with items that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, whether it's a favorite quote or a piece of art that speaks to your soul.
   By creating a positive environment and having an eye for what I find beautiful and aesthetically pleasing, I am now constantly reminded of my worth and value as a person and the great way I know I can show up for myself and care for my well-being. I surround myself with the life I want to live. And you know what? That's how I create it!

4. Practice gratitude daily. Take a few moments each day (early morning and late night for me) to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can help shift your focus from lack and negativity to abundance and positivity. Repeated daily, it will change your mindset!
   Make sure these are not just little trivial things (although they can be); add in the real stuff too, like, in my case, "I'm grateful that my friend Lena, who is a badass feminist, teaches me how to be a badass woman myself" or "I'm so grateful for the freedom I created for myself to be able to work from anywhere" or "I'm so grateful for that new pink bikini that fits me so well." Yes, I hear you. What if there's nothing for which to be grateful? Well, sorry to break it to you, but that's just a load of BS. There is always, ALWAYS, something to be thankful for. You should write it down even more diligently if you find it hard to find.

5. Visualize your desired outcome. It's essential to bring as many of your dreams and desires into your life now, even if not everything has manifested yet.
   I take time every day to visualize myself living the life of my dreams. It's such an enjoyable experience, and it almost feels real. I go into a lot of details about where I am, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, who I'm with, and even what I'm wearing. This practice helps me stay focused on my goals and motivates me to take action toward making them a reality. It's like creating a roadmap for your life; the best part is that you have complete control over it.

Bonus tip: REMEMBER TO TAKE ACTION! Ultimately, it's all well and good to bathe in the feel-good hormones from imagining your dream life, but you must take action to create a mindset that empowers you and a life that fills you with joy and gratitude. Eventually, you have to go out and do something to materialize it!

Shifting your mindset takes time and effort, but the results are well worth it. Your life will be completely transformed, and you will experience things beyond your wildest dreams. Trust me, it works!

Feeling stuck in your current situation?

You're not alone. Many professionals have the same feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt.

Imagine waking up every day excited about your future, no longer paralyzed by fear or self-sabotaging thoughts. It's time to break free and start living the life you've always dreamed of.

Schedule your free session!

Are you secretly an entrepreneur, and how can you develop those skills to succeed?

In my work, I meet with clients daily who are afraid that their lives aren’t turning out the way they thought they would. Their current world is so different from the goals and dreams they had as a child. We discuss their fears and try to figure out what they would have done if resources and money hadn’t been a factor. Often, they end up discussing a product or idea they would have created. 

I love these moments. This is when I get to point out that they are an entrepreneur. They may have gone to school for engineering or medicine, but if they’ve always dreamed of producing a particular type of silicone scar cream that works on stretch marks, they’re an entrepreneur. The same is true for the mother who loved planners but didn’t like how limiting they were for parents with multiple children. If she believes she could create something better, she’s an entrepreneur. 

Are you picking up what I’m putting down?

If you have an idea or a product you think would help someone, if you see challenges everywhere and come up with solutions in your mind, you’re an entrepreneur. 

So, how does this help you? Why would knowing you’re an entrepreneur help you start a business? 

Being an entrepreneur is not a job description; it’s a personality trait. Knowing your personality can help you figure out how to achieve your goals. Take the doctor who wants to create the scar cream above. If they think they’re just a doctor, they won’t try making the cream. They’ll offer the idea to someone else in that industry. But, if they believe they’re an entrepreneur, they will take the time to figure out how to get the cream developed, researched, tested, and into public hands. 

Now that you know you’re an entrepreneur, how can you develop those skills to succeed? 

1. Understand your competition. Entrepreneurs are good at tunnel vision. We know the product or service we want to offer and hone in on that. Sometimes, though, we forget people who might have similar ideas. An essential skill as an entrepreneur is to figure out who your competition might be and why they might be able to produce the product or service quicker or more efficiently than you. Then, develop a plan to stand out and move forward. If you’re creating a planner with families in mind, you’ll want to know what other family planners are on the market, what makes them family-friendly, and what you think they’re missing. Investigate their marketing strategies, where they post online, and how they talk to their customers. Figure out your own voice and marketing plan to make yourself stand out.

2. Make sure there is a need. If there is no need for your product or service, there is no market for it. When you have an idea, you want to ensure that it’s something people want or need. The second best entrepreneurial skill is being a solution to someone’s problem. You saw a challenge and think you have an answer to it. But is that true? For instance, if you want to create a course on underwater basket weaving, you better know if anyone wants to learn how. Alternatively, if you know there is a need to teach small businesses the benefits of email marketing, you’ll know who to market to after you create your e-course on the topic.

3. Network like your life depends on it. Networking is one of my favorite things to do and one of the things I’m incredibly passionate about. I think one of the reasons I’ve been successful is how much I enjoy networking and connecting with people. When starting as an entrepreneur, even before you have a solid idea or product, networking can help fuel your fire like nothing else can. When you network, you create valuable connections with people who might be interested in investing in your business later on. It also enables you to expand your knowledge and learn from other professionals or even meet a mentor or two who will have a lasting impact on your work.

Learning that you’re an entrepreneur is the first step to going after the life and work you want to pursue. Discovering how entrepreneurial traits can improve your success is the foundation of your success.

Got an Idea for a Product or Service?

When you have an idea for a product or service but aren’t sure how to get started, it can be super overwhelming.

That’s where I come in! I help my clients turn those ideas into tangible things that make a difference in their lives and the world. Burning to get started?

Schedule your free session!

How to stop getting stuck in the Zone of Ideation

Have you ever started to think about something - an event, a business, a job, a partner - and then gotten stuck in this loop where your mind just wanders into every possibility - good and bad, but you never seem to get out of that loop?

If you nodded yes, great. You’re in good company!

When creativity hits, I start doing something with it to prevent myself from getting stuck in that loop of questioning and thinking. Sometimes, though, it’s inevitable, and my mind starts to wander. I begin tothink of all the ways I could do this thing I was just inspired to do, and before I know it, I’ve talked myself into - and out of - a hundred different scenarios for how to bring it to life or if I even should. 

For instance, when I was thinking about doing a book launch in NYC, I walked through all the reasons this was a good idea, all the reasons it was a bad idea, and all the ways I could find the time to organise such an event while also continuing to coach, write, and speak. There were a few days where I was fully present in my mind, going through every scenario of how launching “Get Unstuck!” in NYC could play out. I got so lost thinking about it that I almost didn’t do the work I needed to do to make it happen. 

I was in a loop, and it was getting harder and harder.

I like to call this loop the “Zone of Ideation” (ZOI).

Usually, you hit the ZOI right before you fully enter the tar pit of stuckness. You’ll be traveling along, an idea will hit, and before you can do anything about it, you’ve already started your loop of question, answer, question, distraction, answer, distraction, question, etc. Before you know it, that loop has pulled you into the tar. You’re sinking below its depths as it burbles alongside you. 

You’re stuck.

Our goal is to either avoid the ZOI altogether or pull yourself out of it before you hit the pit. 

So, how do you go about doing that? 

1. Identify your automatic response. Your automatic response is precisely what it sounds like - the response your brain and body make when it experiences a particular stimulus. A good example of an automatic response is breathing. Breathing is so intuitive you don’t even realize you’re doing it - until you’re gasping for it. Another example of an automatic response is how your body feels when you’re called on to share during a work call or your go-to response when someone says how are you. When creativity or an idea hits, what’s your automatic response? Do you burrow and hide? Do you ruminate? Do you start doing? What are the first signs? Make yourself aware of them so we can start to change them. 

2. Change your mindset. I know it sounds simpler said than done, but sometimes, it really is as simple as doing it. When it comes to our mindsets, we’re either fixed or flexible (commonly called a growth mindset). People with fixed mindsets have difficulty changing how they see things. People with flexible mindsets have an easier time changing their views and going with the flow. The best part is that fixed mindsets can become flexible with just a little work. Once you’ve identified your automatic response and which mindset you lean towards, you can start adapting your mindset to fit the desired outcome. 

3. Decide on a goal and stick to it. When you have difficulty retreating from the ZOI, it’s probably because you’ve created several goals and want to achieve all of them at once. Instead, focus on one goal you know you can achieve soon and then go after it. Once you’ve accomplished that goal, you can identify the next - and the next - and the next. Before you know it, you’ll have achieved precisely what you wanted. I like to look at these goals as a bucket list instead. Things that I want to achieve just for me, no one else. The word “goal” makes it sound like it’s for someone else’s benefit or some external reward. Bucket list items are solely for me and I can pursue them slowly and with meaning. 

When you enter the ZOI, it can be tough to pull yourself out before getting truly stuck. However, the more you practice the steps above, the easier it will be. Then, one day, avoiding the ZOI or getting unstuck more quickly will become second nature to you. 

P.S. Don’t forget Get Unstuck! is now on the shelves on Amazon! If you’re interested in how to get unstuck when you’re sinking in the tar pit of stuckness, this book is the only roadmap you’ll need! Click here to find the Amazon site nearest to you.

Dangerously close to the Zone of Ideation?

My clients know that mindset work is one of my favorite things to do with them. It is so incredible to see them think one way and then shift not only their mindset but also their actions within a short time.

If you feel like the ZOI is pulling you in, forcing you to focus on all the things that could be from this one idea, it’s time to learn some new tools!

Schedule your free session!

Experiencing technical difficulties: Sometimes things don’t go your way, and that’s okay…

My newest book, Get Unstuck! came out today!

And if you just did a double take at that or thought I wrote the wrong date, you are half right…

Originally, Get Unstuck! was set to launch on October 25th - however - God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, had other plans for me. What should have been a simple change of date turned into a major issue that required technical assistance and a whole lot of faith. 

Several things added to this debacle, including formatting issues, communication disruptions, and serious technical glitches that could have derailed the entire launch. And I truly believe that my behavior during those 12 hours is the reason that things worked out so well.

Think about it - the last time something threw you for a loop and ruined your day, did any of the next five tasks go well? Or did your day suddenly rush off course, crash, and burn? 

I’m guessing it was the latter. 

That’s because our mindset impacts our attitude, which impacts our environment, which, in turn, impacts our mindset. If you have a fixed mindset - one that doesn’t do well with change or challenges - you might find that your day is completely trashed because of one issue early on. You can’t shake out of the negative headspace that “everything will go wrong.” 

But, if you have a growth mindset, you can see the issue for what it is and stop yourself from carrying it in the next moment of the day. You go into problem-solving mode and work to fix things without reacting.  

The truth is, ten years ago, I definitely would have freaked out. My entire week would have been ruined and I would have fallen victim to all the worst-case scenarios. This time, though, I saw the situation for what it was - a chance to practice what I preach and not have it impact my whole day. The issue was fixed and while it was a bummer that my initial pre-orders were canceled because of an Amazon glitch, I know there’s a reason for it. 

My attitude is positively impacting my environment, which is positively impacting my mindset, which is reinforcing my positive attitude. 

So how can you cultivate a growth mindset and steer clear of attitude derailments? Follow the steps below to get a peak into what I do every day to prevent my mind from wandering into negativity territory.

1. Accept the situation. I think a lot of the issues we get with our mindset come from refusing to acknowledge that what is happening is happening. Whatever the situation, you have to accept that it is happening so you can prevent it from following you into every other situation that day. For example, if you spill coffee on class notes and start chiding yourself for being a terrible coffee sipper, that mindset will follow you into the next task. You might find that you are dropping more things, cajoling yourself, and breaking things unnecessarily. However, if you spill the coffee and start cleaning it up without making yourself feel bad, your subconscious will recognize that mistakes happen and it doesn’t have to affect the rest of your day.

2. Think about how your favorite person would react. If you admire someone like Ghandi or Amelia Earheart, think about how they would react in a moment of strife. Would they crumble and let the bad mood follow them? Or would they problem solve their way out of it and protect their peace? I’m gonna go with the second option.

3. Set realistic goals. This might not sound like something you can do after an issue pops up, but the reality is that setting realistic goals is something you can do all along the way, whatever is happening in the moment. If you’re working on something and you realize the timeline you’ve given yourself is too fast paced, it’s okay to slow down and switch it up.

4. Try something new. If you’ve noticed that your reaction negatively impacts every other area of your life, it’s time to try something new. Part of having a growth mindset is trying new things and finding what works for you in a particular situation - and knowing that it can evolve over time.

5. Check in with yourself. Probably the most important thing to do when trying to cultivate a growth mindset is to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about what just happened? What emotions are coming up? Who do you hear in your head that is hurting your heart? How do you think you’d feel if you responded in a different way? 

The only thing we are responsible for - and in control of - are our own reactions. If we are constantly getting overwhelmed with things and outcomes we can’t control, we won’t get anything done and we will constantly be living in fear. 

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to live in that headspace any longer. 

P.S. you can order Get Unstuck! today on Kindle, paperback, or hardcover!

Ready to ditch the fixed mindset?

Our mindset determines so much about our day to day reactions, but also our longterm mental health. Those of us with growth mindsets react more healthily to problems. Whereas people with fixed mindsets can let their frustrations overtake them, getting them stuck without the will to MOVE.

If you want to learn how to change your mindset, get unstuck, and start MOVE-in’, I can help!

Schedule your free session!

How to build in rest so you can be productive

I’ve worked so hard to get my book, Get Unstuck!, finished and am super excited to announce the official release date for all editions is October 25th! However, right now, you can preorder the Kindle Edition and save yourself a couple of bucks! All copies come with a free workbook to help you identify what is getting you stuck and how to overcome that mindset so you can go after what you want - as well as tons of prompts to help you achieve the steps to get there! But there’s more! With your preorder, you’ll also get a personal invitation to my virtual book launch in November 2023!

I think the best part about watching a goal come to fruition is knowing that on the other side is some much-needed rest. I’m grateful to be able to take resets. They’re so important to me and my ability to help my business flourish. When I decided to get myself unstuck, I knew that I had to build in pockets of time off. It was scary to admit that I wasn’t a robot who could work 18-hour days, 7 days a week without needing a break - that’s what we are trained to do, isn’t it? No complaining, just working.

But once I finally admitted that I wasn’t a robot, that I needed rest, and that rest would actually make me better at what I did, everything else slid into place. With more rest, and holidays or breaks to look forward to, I became more productive with my time. Instead of doom-scrolling, I was focused on what I needed to get done.

Is this something you struggle with? Have you been raised - like most of us were - to think that work meant grueling hours, always busy, always struggling, and always feeling bad about what you were missing out on? 

If you nodded your head yes to any of that, it’s time to start redirecting that thought process. Here’s how:

1. Build work boundaries. If you want to have more time for yourself and feel rejuvenated at work, you need to start building boundaries at work. If you are contracted to work 8 am - 5 pm, don’t bring your work home with you. Leave it at work. If you want to see your son’s football game, or your daughter’s fencing competition, or even just go home and bake a cake, you have to make your boundaries clear and then stick to them as much as you can. The more you do this, the more you will see that the work-life balance all the gurus talk about becomes your reality.

2. Ditch the busywork. I’m a huge proponent of productivity versus busywork. If you’re constantly busy but never getting anything done, you aren’t really busy, you’re just filing your time. If, instead, you focus on getting the thing that needs to be done in a certain amount of time, without distractions, you’ll find you can get more done and be able to rest or refresh outside of that time. And if you aren’t sure how to start, check out the Pomodoro Method. You set a timer for 25 minutes and that is your productive, focused time. After the 25 minutes, you get a five-minute break. You do that over and over again until the work is done. You’ll be surprised at how much you end up working through in those short 25 minutes when you have five minutes built in to breathe.

3. Visualize the life you want. When you visualize the life you want, you end up motivating yourself to do the small tasks that will get you there. For example, if you want to go to medical school at 35 years old, you need to believe in yourself and have a clear vision of the life you want to get you through the challenges that medical school will present. By getting clear on that vision, you can see how the difficult experiences you have now are helping you get there.

4. Develop better time management skills. As you learn to manage your time better, you are actually loosening your grip on it. When we focus too much on the time we have left to do something, we can get overwhelmed quickly. Instead focus on how you can maximize the time you have to get the most done. You’ll finish your day feeling fulfilled and ready to start the next day.

5. Make time to meditate. There are several forms of meditation - mindfulness, transcendental meditation, walking meditations, and more. You can choose whichever one works best in the moment, but the point is to stay consistent. Meditation has been shown to lower your heart rate, help with stress and anxiety, and also increase your cognition. When you meditate, you’re giving your brain time to relax, which can help you think more clearly while you’re working. Even just five minutes a day can provide you with real rest that will boost your productivity, ease your stress, and help you figure out the steps you need to take to get unstuck. It’s really an amazing thing!

Changing our mindset around rest and work is the most crucial step in getting unstuck and having the life we want. So what are you waiting for? Let’s get going!

Time to reset your mindset!

Mindset work is the most important step in all of my work, but it’s also the hardest.

If you haven’t been able to shift your mindset on your own, I can help! My clients and I work diligently to figure out exactly how your brain interprets the world and then create a plan to shift that interpretation. It’s pretty incredibly what we can do together!

Schedule your free session!

How to choose your hard and get unstuck!

For years, I wanted to start writing a book. When I finally decided to write one, I would wait till inspiration hit before I sat down to write. I would stop the moment I felt like the inspiration had waned. My entire writing experience, then, was centered around getting into - and falling out of - a flow state. But flow states can be fickle. They don’t come when we call, they come when they want to. If I waited for inspiration to write, it would take me years to finish my first book. 

I knew there had to be a different way. I knew I was stuck and had to find a way to get unstuck. So I started writing every day. I gave myself a time frame that I had to sit in front of my computer and type. It didn’t matter if it was cohesive or spelled correctly; I just had to type. Sometimes, inspiration would be there with me, guiding me along, but most of the time, I was on my own. Most of the time, I was writing because I’d built a habit. 

It made me realize that when motivation is lacking, you have to rely on your dedication. On days when I don’t feel like writing, my dedication to the habit of writing guides me to the computer and gets me through the time slot I’ve set aside. 

This experience was the start of of my get unstuck method. I realized that when you want to change something about your life - or your work - you have to start by changing your mindset. I wanted to write, so I changed my mindset about how I write (every day no matter what for 1 hour), focused on taking responsibility for my thoughts and emotions around writing and being an author, visualized the new life and habit I wanted, and then mustered the courage to go out there and do it. 

“Getting Unstuck!” might sound like a tagline, but it’s really a mantra - one that was born out of necessity and evolved into a way of life. It’s about planting your feet and digging deep into the ground of discipline. It’s about daily action and building new habits. 

The truth is, there is simultaneous pain and joy in growing into someone new. You can be both excited to start something new and terrified of the work it will take to get where you want. You can be both happy to change and miss the old life you lived where you knew what to expect. And you can be miserable in your life and work and still choose to stay there because the alternative is even more daunting. There is a duality between freedom and discipline; you’re allowed to feel and experience more than one emotion at the same time.*

I heard someone say once, “Everything is hard. Choose your hard.” Being stuck is hard. You are afraid to go after the life and work you want, so you procrastinate, get overwhelmed, and hide behind your fears. That’s hard and it gets harder the longer you stay in that headspace. However, getting unstuck is hard too. You have to put in the work, change your mindset, figure out what you want to do, create a vision for the life you want, and start implementing the steps to get there. 

Here are a few things to think about when choosing your hard:

1. You’re going to be sacrificing either way. Whatever it is you want to do to change your life, it’s going to take sacrifice. But it’s also a sacrifice to keep your life exactly the same - only in this case, you are sacrificing your own dreams. For instance, if you currently work in tech, but really want to be an interior designer, you may have to sacrifice some of your free time to build a design portfolio, interview for new roles, and maybe even take a pay cut to get the experience you need for the jobs you really want. However, if you never go after that dream of being an interior designer and instead stay in tech, you are sacrificing your dream for the comfort of what you already know. Both paths lead to sacrifice, so choose the one that actually fulfills you.

2. Change is scary. Accepting that change is scary is one of the only ways that I can move past the fear. “Yes it’s scary, and I’m doing it anyways,” is one of my favorite mantras. When we acknowledge the fear in front of us, and we still decide to go after what we want, we’re fostering a trust within ourselves. There is nothing better than knowing you have your own back and that the decisions you make are solid, even when they’re scary.

3. Everything gets easier when you accept that it’s hard. This sounds counterintuitive, right? If we acknowledge it’s hard, then it’s hard. But actually, I think acknowledging that something will take hard work to complete is the first step in making it easier. With this acknowledgement comes the planning, visualizing, and mindset changes that are necessary to do the new thing. Think about it: when the painter decides they want to sell their art, but they know it will be hard to find clients, they start working even harder to find clients. They start posting their art on social media, and use their free time to create a website. They take the pressure off actually selling and focus on the steps to get their art out there into the world for people to see.  

So which hard do you choose? The one that keeps you in place, feeling lost and stuck, or the one where you have the life you’ve been dreaming about? 

*A special thank you to Colleen-Joy for inspiring this blog post during our interview last week for her podcast InnerLifeSkills.

Are you ready to choose your hard?

Getting unstuck is the only way to get to the life you want. You have to get out of your own way and start doing the scary things while changing your mindset.

I help my clients figure out exactly what it is they want to do, why their fear is holding them back, and how to move past all that.

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I Want to Start my Own Business, But I Can't Decide on an Idea. What Should I do?

Starting your own business can be a daunting task. But what if you can't even decide on an idea? This is a common problem for many people who want to create their careers. It certainly is a question I get asked a lot by my clients. They have many ideas, no idea, a combination of fears, lack of experience, or blocks holding them back.

How do you get started when you need help deciding what idea to pick?

This is one of the most challenging steps in the entrepreneurial journey, but you can do it. You might have too many ideas or none; perhaps you're overthinking every option until you cancel it without ever taking action. Or maybe - like the creative generalists that I see in my coaching practice - you want to do it all, get super excited by all your amazing ideas, but are quickly overwhelmed after that until your ideas die a slow and agonizing death, and you're back to square one.

If any of this applies to you, I want you to know that you're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with you. You're not crazy, delusional, a daydreamer, or procrastinator. You just haven't been shown the right way to find and develop a business idea that is right for you. You're stuck.

Finding a business idea to settle on.

Even the most indecisive or unsure person can find the clarity to start. I know because that's what I help creatives and entrepreneurs do every day. Let me help you get unstuck and move forward: here are five tips to help you figure out which business idea is best for you.

1. Take some time to reflect and brainstorm - Slowing down is not the strongest trait of creatives and entrepreneurs, and indeed not of multi-passionate creatives (creative generalists). We love to start immediately because we have this creative fire that we need to take action and move forward. This is the most crucial reason we must reflect, brainstorm, and give our ideas some room to take shape.

Whether you have too many ideas or need a clearer one, start writing. Take some time to sit down with yourself and write down everything you've ever considered could be a business, any idea you've ever got excited about, no matter how outlandish they may seem. Only discard possibilities once you've written them down and have taken the time to analyze them one by one. Think about what would make each idea successful or why it could fail. Also, ponder how excited you would be and for how long when developing this idea. This will help you narrow down your choices and clarify which ideas to pursue and which ones to put aside for now.

2. Speak with people in the industry - The worst thing you can do with an idea is to keep it to yourself. This doesn't mean you must tell everyone everything about what you want to do (you do want to be careful with your intellectual property), but you must start talking to people. Speak with mentors, advisors, and peers in the industry who could provide insight into what they think of your idea, help you refine it, and ensure it's viable.

This is the start of your market research. Ask for advice and opinions about your different ideas and what could be done to make them successful. Survey people, call businesses doing something similar, and ask them what their business is like, their challenges, and their great successes. This can provide different perspectives that may give you new insights into which idea will work best for you and whether or not you enjoy building a business with that focus. Knowing what we don't want is as valuable as knowing what we do want. Don't be afraid to act on that feeling; I've said no to many ideas I was first super excited about after talking to people in the industries I was looking to enter.

3. Assess the joy and stress factor of each idea - Before you get too excited about any business idea, assess its joy and stress factors. How much time do you need to start up? What kind of return can you expect after investing time, energy, and effort into developing it? Is this something that you're willing to do?

For your answer to these questions to be helpful, you must answer as truthfully and honestly as possible. Reflect on what is crucial for you and what you'd consider a wonderful life and perfect day. Make sure the idea you select fits in with that vision. If you need a lot of free time, it might not be the wisest idea to start a business that requires you to always be on call. Having clarity of what you need to be happy and fulfilled will help you make better decisions, to make them more quickly and with greater confidence.

4. Consider your skills and interests - Following the previous point, when looking for an idea, consider the skills and interests that you have. You don't need to be an expert to pursue a business or career, but it will make life much easier if you can focus on something that you already have some knowledge or experience in or are excited to learn.

Look at what other businesses are doing and see how they've made things work. Ask yourself if you have the suitable skill set and interests to do something similar or if it would require too much of a learning curve to making it worthwhile. Researching this can help provide answers as to what might fit best for you or where there may be potential gaps in the market that need filling. You could be passionate about a particular topic or want to develop specific skills by starting a business around them; anything! What's important here is to ask yourself whether this business would bring you pleasure, fulfillment, and satisfaction over time without boring the hell out of you.

3. Start a project - Don't just sit around and wait for the perfect business idea or opportunity to fall into your lap. Instead, take action by starting one of your projects right away. This doesn't mean you need to quit your day job immediately (although it's not entirely off the cards either). It means working on something small but real at least once a week (bonus points for every additional day) so that you can start getting feedback from your market and build momentum.

By taking small steps over time, you'll gain the clarity you need to know this is the idea you want to go for: are you enjoying yourself? Do you find the process enjoyable? Can you sustain it? Do people buy your product or service (this is the proof of concept you want, even if it's only a few sales or a small amount)?

Whichever idea you select, ensure it resonates with who you are and what you want to create. And always remember that the best way to find out is by getting started. You cannot think yourself into anything. Eventually, you have to go out and do it!

Unsure of the next steps to starting your business?

Many people feel lost when starting their own business. I offer private coaching services to help you get started on the right foot. I'll work with you one-on-one to help you develop an idea, create a plan of action, and start making progress toward your goals.

You'll have the support of a professional coach every step of the way, who will answer any questions and guide you as needed. With my help, you can finally take control of your future and achieve success on your terms.

Schedule your free session!