Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
5 Ways for Creative Generalists to Build Better Boundaries
I like to think that setting boundaries is a version of self-care. It creates a rule or limit that I can impose on others to protect myself. And no one can get upset with me for creating a boundary - well they can and probably will, but they shouldn’t and it won’t be for me to worry about. It’s on them.
When you build boundaries, you’re telling others what is and isn’t acceptable to you. Other reasons why setting boundaries is important - and necessary, include getting the respect you deserve and growing your own self-respect, improving your emotional health and relationships, warding off burnout, and decreasing your stress and anxiety.
Think about it: when you aren’t busy worrying what others will think when you ask for something you need, if you could get work done without being distracted by a colleague who just wants to chat, or if you could go to the movies by yourself just because you want to, things would be so much easier. You’d be able to breathe and better show up for what really matters in your life
Creative generalists are people who are good at multiple things. Most people try to niche down and become an expert in one specific thing, but creative generalists can’t. Our brains are wired differently and we need fresh ideas, new topics, and an array of things to study to feel fulfilled. I myself have worked in marketing, philosophy, the web, digital marketing, coaching, and as a consultant for start-ups. I’m also a start-up founder, a researcher, and a writer. If I hadn’t discovered that I was a creative generalist, I would have continued to try and fit myself in the box society built for people who enjoy niching down, but I would have felt miserable that I couldn’t follow my many interests for the rest of my life.
Creative generalism may sound like a person who wants to do just one thing, but really it’s about wanting to do all the things. Being a Jack/Jill/Jay of all trades. Unfortunately, it can also mean we’re more prone to avoiding boundaries and getting sucked into all. the. things.
For real, think about all the hobbies you have started and abandoned. Think of all the books you tossed aside when they became repetitive. Or think of the fact that you have multiple jobs or interests in various fields and are always daydreaming about pursuing them. If this is you, my friend, I have news for you: you’re a creative generalist.
Welcome to the club!
With that in mind, here are five ways to build better boundaries so you can get back to doing the work that makes you feel fulfilled.
Learn to say no. It’s so important to say no. You have to stop agreeing to do things you don’t really want to do. To paraphrase Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, if it’s not a, “Hell yes!” It’s a “F*ck no.”
Know yourself well. When you are self-aware and have reflected on who you are and what you want, you will have a clear idea of the boundary that needs to be drawn. There is nothing worse than feeling like a boundary should be put into place for a while, but being unclear of what you need, and then blowing up at someone, or getting overwhelmed, and enforcing the boundary in a hostile state. If you know what you need, and you’re clear about why you need it, you can articulate it clearly and be heard more openly.
Know what matters to you. It’s important to know what kind of life you want and what kind of person you want to be before you can effectively put boundaries into place. If you don’t know what matters to you, how do you know if those boundaries are actually important - they may be misplaced.
Make sure you know what your skills are - both the hard and soft ones. By knowing what you can do, you’ll be able to figure out what work - or life decisions - are meant for you. For instance, if one of your soft skills is working in a collaborative setting, you might not be happy working independently for long periods of time. When you know the environment you thrive in and the skills you want to use, it’s easier to pick things that actually align with you.
Practice flexibility. None of these steps are easy, but for creative generalists looking to build , trying to also be flexible for when life gets in the way, can be extremely challenging. But it’s important. Learning when you can be flexible and still feel good about having, and asserting, a boundary is the most important mindset to adopt.
Most of the creative generalists I know - myself included - are also perfectionists, people-pleasers, and Type A overachievers. We want to do the best, say yes to everything, and if it doesn’t work out, we have a tendency to crumble. But that’s because we don’t have good boundaries! We aren’t saying no to work, events, and other things that don’t align with what matters to us, what the skills we want to use are, and what we know we want to be doing. We are being inflexible.
We can’t move forward and take up space in a way that truly represents who we are until we can create boundaries and stick to them (when needed).
Ready to build a boundary that doesn’t crumble?
Building boundaries is hard, but so is living a life where you feel stuck because no one listens to your wants and needs (including yourself).
When we work together, we figure out those five things above. We get into the nitty gritty of who you want to be and start crafting boundaries to get you there.
How to unleash your full potential for success and overcome self-sabotage
The three biggest things holding you back from reaching your full potential for success are excuses, procrastination, and yes-buts. That’s it.
Everyone gets overwhelmed at some point in their lives and work. We have responsibilities that rely on our work but also tend to get in the way of it. When we use those responsibilities as ways to explain why we haven’t gotten something done or haven’t allowed ourselves to change in some way, we are just keeping ourselves stuck.
Instead of finding reasons why we can’t do something we want to do, we have to realize that we are in control of our destiny. We can make whatever choices we want. In fact, in coming up with excuses or procrastinating, we are making a choice. We are actively inhibiting our ability to reach our full potential for success.
We are self-sabotaging our dreams.
Think about the attorney who dreams of being an author. Every time they feel the urge to write their novel, they get distracted by their family, legal work, or and their inbox or develop the urge to clean the house. Every day they miss their dreams or taking a step in its direction. You might look at the attorney and say, “Hey! Just write!” And it is that simple, but when did you last listen that advice?
Two of the most common ways we make excuses and self-sabotage are procrastination and yes, but-ing. When I talk about procrastination in sessions, the first thing my clients tell me is how disappointed they are with themselves for procrastinating. They feel ashamed and guilty and can’t seem to understand why they can’t just do the thing - why they keep getting in their own way.
The truth is we self-sabotage because we have a lack of motivation, a fear of failure or criticism, and difficulty defining our goals and tasks. It’s not that we have a lack of vision; it's almost as if we have too much vision, too much energy. Also, for those of us who are neurodivergent, procrastination tends to make work more interesting. We get a thrill from waiting until the last minute and pulling a project out of nowhere. But, while that might work one or two times, it’s not sustainable and will ultimately lead to burnout.
The other type of excuse is yes, but-ing. This is where you agree with someone while simultaneously making an excuse as to why you can’t do something.
“Yes, you’re right, I could do that, but…”
“Yes, I know, but…”
“Well, normally I’d say yes, but…”
Yes, buts are statements that chop off your dominant hand before you even get going. They limit you from your true potential, block your path to success, and create space for doubt - in your mind and the mind of others.
For instance, let’s say you had always dreamed of being an astronaut, but when you were in college, you failed physics. Now, you’d had a severe case of mono and were extremely sick. You should have dropped the course, but you were determined to pass. So even though you had a 102 fever for three weeks leading up to the final, and even though your teacher told you to retake the course because of all your absences from being sick, you took the final anyway and failed terribly.
Someone who doesn’t make excuses would look at this experience and say, “This sucks.” But they would take it over because they wanted to be an astronaut. But you decided that you failed physics because you were terrible at physics. When people said, “You failed because you were sick,” you responded, “Yes, I see what you are saying, but I failed because I am terrible at physics. I couldn’t be an astronaut because I couldn’t pass physics.” You limited yourself. You stopped yourself from reaching your full potential and doing something cool! - because you saw your failing grade as an excuse.
You self-sabotaged.
So how do we stop? One of the ways to stop making excuses for ourselves is to recognize that we are making an excuse and address it.
Is the excuse valid? Would I believe it if someone else said it to me?
Why am I afraid of moving forward? What is that fear trying to tell me?
What’s the worst that can happen?
If I listen to this excuse and do nothing, what will happen?
What will happen if I don’t listen to this excuse and take action instead?
Do I really want to change?
What is my next step here?
Other ways to shake up your thoughts and stop self-sabotaging include:
Flip your “yes, buts” to “yes, ands.”
Get organized and clear your work and living space.
Limit distractions as much as possible.
Celebrate small wins along the way.
You know that saying, “everything you want is just outside your comfort zone,” is true. When you leave your comfort zone of cushy excuses and sweet self-sabotage, you start getting what you are working for. You stop feeling like the world is working against you and instead begin seeing how it works with you.
The end of self-sabotage is the beginning of success. Don’t forget that!
Ready to stop self-sabotaging?
Sabotaging ourselves can sometimes feel like it is ingrained in our bones. So how can you be expected to break free?
With my help, of course. In our sessions, we will work together to figure out the root cause of your self-sabotaging tendencies and create behavioral tools to help you flip those automatic responses so you can finally achieve your full potential for success.
Understanding Your Creative Brain: Finding Focus to Finally Finish What You Started
As a lifelong creative generalist, I've always had a million ideas claiming space in my head, all pulling at me and whispering to me to get me to do something about them. Rushes of inspiration fuel my imagination on the daily, igniting a spark within me to embark on countless projects. I know I'm not alone in this.
Many creatives and entrepreneurs (especially creative generalists) deal with this. It's particularly tricky when we're in our most innovative and passionate mode, the flow and excitement we achieve when we're at the beginning of a new project. This is often when we feel we have massive creative energy - enough to spare some for other projects while building this bright and beautiful new thing. And it is all great for a while. Until we find ourselves overwhelmed by a growing pile of half-finished exciting ideas we couldn't wait to get started on. For the longest time, this was true for me. I would get excited about something, start developing the idea, then slowly lose interest and eventually stop before I'd created anything worthwhile.
The truth is: the challenge with our creative brains is not how to generate ideas (we have those all the time!) but how to maintain the focus required to see them through.
If you can relate to this struggle, read on! In this article, I will share tips and strategies to help you navigate the labyrinth that is your creative brain and empower you to conquer the misery of unfinished projects once and for all.
Embracing your creative (and multi-passionate) brain.
When clients come to me for help with seeing their projects through, they often have a lot of negative things to say about their creative brains. I don't blame them; I used to feel the same way. I would get frustrated and ask myself why I wasn't able to stick to anything or why it was so easy for me to start projects and so hard for me to finish them.
Today, I feel differently about how my brain is wired. I'm proud of my creative generalist nature and the many ideas and interests that I enjoy. So the first step in getting good at getting things done is acknowledging the value of creative thinking: creative ideas are the building blocks of innovation and personal growth. It's essential to recognize the incredible power that creative ideas hold.
Another critical element in befriending your unique creative brain is understanding the importance of embracing your imagination. Instead of wishing you could stick to one idea, cultivate a mindset that encourages and celebrates imaginative thinking. Allow yourself to explore new ideas without judgment or limitations.
Finally, embracing your creative brain means embracing the process of iteration and experimentation. Creativity is never a linear path; it's a cycle of trial and error, refinement, and revision. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them. Not every project you start will need to be finished (see below for more on this crucial point!). Understand that not every idea will be a masterpiece, but each contributes to your growth as a creative human.
Sometimes quitting simply means you're done.
Before we dive into the truth that, yes, (multi-passionate) creatives and entrepreneurs start more projects than they finish and can indeed lack focus sometimes, an important side note must be made. For creative generalists, quitting something simply means we're done. Because of our hunger for knowledge, we can dive deep into a subject until we've explored it, satisfied our curiosity, and gained a comprehensive understanding. When that happens, we usually quit.
The problem is our finish line is often different from the finish line of society. When we get what we came for is precisely when other people tell us we should stick to it or even "turn it into a business." But that's not what generalists do because our true passion lies in exploring and pursuing new knowledge and ideas. We thrive on the thrill of discovery and the joy of learning, and once we have mastered a subject or dived into a project enough, according to our understanding, our attention naturally shifts to the next exciting idea that captures our imagination. So for us, quitting is not always a sign of failure or lack of commitment; it indicates that we have accomplished what we set out to do.
However, this is not always the case. We have been known (ahem) to start new projects we wanted to see through and leave those halfway accomplished too. What is going on when that happens?
Understanding your lack of focus.
There are many reasons why our initial focus can dissolve and turn into procrastination, overthinking, or even starting another project (I know). Still, one of the most important reasons for creatives and entrepreneurs is the curse of shiny object syndrome.
We must be willing to recognize the attractiveness of new ideas and our tendency to chase after the next exciting project without completing the current ones. Yes, we love new things, and they always seem so shiny and bright, especially when the thing we're working on is a bit harder than expected, a bit boring at times, or not going as planned. When that happens - which is NORMAL in any project - the allure of novelty and engaging with another idea is hard to withstand.
One of the most striking ways I see clients go through this is when their sales or marketing plans aren't working as they should. Instead of pushing through and keeping a focused approach to their marketing and sales activities, many clients will cancel the plan and try something else. The problem is: if you do this each time selling your product or service gets hard, you'll probably never sell anything because you're not giving the seeds you're planting enough time to take root and grow.
Another way lack of focus shows up is the fear of failure, often disguised as perfectionism. Perfectionism leads to self-doubt, over-analysis, and getting stuck. When you're struggling with completing projects, it's important to remember that the struggle is part of the process. Nobody delivers something new without at least a dash of doubt and uncertainty. Nobody delivers a new project perfectly. Embracing the struggle and accepting the imperfections as part of the creative process will allow you to reach the finish line more often.
How to finish what you start? Here are three tips that might help you:
Set micro-goals: I'm sure you've heard this before, but it works! Break down your project or goal into smaller, achievable tasks or milestones. On your to-do list, make sure only to list the smaller tasks (that you can do in one sitting) and not goals (this happens a lot, believe me, "finish my website" is a goal, not a task). Instead of focusing on the result, set specific and manageable task goals (my number is three daily tasks) for each day or week. This approach lets me make consistent progress while I maintain motivation along the way. By celebrating reaching my daily number every day, these small successes boost my confidence and help me keep going.
Practice strategic rest: While it's important to stay committed and focused, giving yourself the rest you need is equally vital! Don't push yourself to the edges of exhaustion; plan for strategic rest periods into your work days. Listen to your body and mind, and don't postpone taking breaks to recharge when needed. Engage in play and fun activities that relax and inspire you, such as walking in nature, practicing mindfulness, or your favorite hobby. I consider these breaks part of my work because they improve my productivity and prevent burnout, ultimately helping me to stay on track and focused.
Play a game with yourself: Turn your project into a fun and engaging game. I invite my clients to see their work as play and reward themselves for tasks they complete or milestones they achieve. Making work fun is excellent for maintaining motivation and increasing productivity. Create challenges, set milestones, and reward yourself for completing certain tasks or reaching specific checkpoints. For example, set a timer and challenge yourself to complete a task within a specific timeframe. Give yourself some points or a small reward once you've finished it.
Gamifying your work and projects adds an element of excitement. It can make the process more enjoyable - and thus more sustainable, especially when things don't go as planned (which they never do). It helps shift your mindset from watching Netflix to a playful and engaging way of tackling a task, increasing your chances of finishing what you start.
I hope these tips are helpful. I'd love to know how they work for you, so let me know! As you embark on a new creative project, remember that the path to success is not linear or even paved with only groundbreaking ideas. Success requires focus, discipline, and tenacity.
By embracing your creative mind and understanding how you're wired, you can become better at finishing what you start. So many of my clients and I are living proof of it. You, too, have the power to master your creative brain and finish what you start!
Tired of never finishing what you started?
Are you tired of starting projects, only to abandon them halfway through? Do you find yourself stuck in a cycle of unfinished goals, leaving you frustrated and unfulfilled? If so, it's time to get unstuck and achieve your true potential.
I understand the challenges you face (I’ve been there myself), and I’m here to help. Don't let unfinished projects keep weighing you down. Sign up for your free coaching session now. Together, let's turn your dreams into successes!
Creative Generalists Don’t Fit In and That’s Okay! (P.S. you can stop applying for specialist jobs now)
When we were cave people, each one of us was good at multiple things. You had to be. We lived in a community where everyone worked together. Sure, there were some people who were better at hunting than others, and some that were better at taking care of the children or gathering roots and berries for supper. But everyone needed to have all of the skills so that if one person died, the rest of the community could still survive. Imagine if one person in your community was the only one with the skills to start a fire and then they were gone? The rest of the community would not survive the winter.
Somewhere along the way, between the agricultural and the industrial revolution, society decided that having a specialty was more important than having multiple skills. We started going to college to specialize in one type of career, and if you were unable to make up your mind on what you were going to major in, you felt like an outsider. The day I realized I could have as many jobs in as many fields as I wanted, was the day I learned real freedom.
Unfortunately, it can be a tough lesson to learn and an even tougher path to take because we are conditioned from birth to think we have to pick one job, one career, one skill for the rest of our lives. If we try to transition out of that role to something different, we are often looked down on.
With clients, I often share the story of The Ugly Duckling because it’s so similar to what creative generalist experience. In the story, the Mama Duck is waiting for her six ducklings to hatch. One day, five of the eggs hatch, but the biggest egg takes its time and hatches the next day. When it finally breaks out, the duckling is “odd-looking.” Not only is he much bigger than his siblings, he’s dark gray instead of yellow and walks with a funny wobble. Immediately, his siblings see - and point out - that there is something wrong with their brother. Mama Duck gets upset and takes them all swimming. The other ducklings call the Ugly Duckling ugly the whole way to the pond. The Ugly Duckling could swim like his siblings, but when he tried to play with them, they wouldn’t and instead made fun of him for being different.
One day, the other ducklings told him to leave, and he did. On his journey away from his family, he tried to fit in with a number of other animals, including two adult ducks. But he didn’t fit in anywhere until he found a new lake and a flock of large white birds flying overhead. They were beautiful, with long white bodies and slim necks. He watched them glide through the air and fly away. The Ugly Duckling was all alone and spent the winter by himself before being rescued by a farmer.
During the spring, the farmer brought him back to the lake where he met the beautiful white birds again who invited him to be friends and to fly with them. When he saw his reflection in the lake, he realized he looked just like them. He was no longer the Ugly Duckling but a beautiful swan.
If you’ve felt like the Ugly Duckling know this: there’s nothing wrong with you, you’ve just been misdiagnosed. You’re ont a duck, you're a swan! Creative generalists don’t need to fit into specialist jobs. We need to embrace being different; embrace being rebels and having an inner activist that hates injustice, authority and has a strong sense of right and wrong. It’s ok to go after all of the jobs, roles, and careers you want to pursue. It’s ok to break away from the people, places, and things that make you feel like you’re not good enough and have to conform. If the Ugly Duckling had stayed with his duckling siblings, he would have felt bad about himself his entire life. He would only have focused on how he was different from the rest, instead of realizing how awesome he was! By leaving the nest, he was able to find out he was a swan and that he did belong. He was able to embrace his differences and be himself.
We need to be more like the Ugly Duckling and embrace our differences so we can really excel in our lives. It’s okay to be outside the norm, to be unconventional - it’s actually a superpower! So stop trying to squeeze yourself into a tiny box, stop applying for specialist jobs and start pursuing a life and career that works for you.
So what are you going to do going forward?
Embrace being different.
And use those gifts to find roles that allow you to spread your wings and fly (allow for a variety of your skills and talents to be utilized), rather than restrict you to specializing in one field.
That’s it! It’s simple once we step outside of the idea that we have to do exactly what society says and stop believing that niching down, choosing (don’t you hate that word?), and limiting ourselves is the only way to excel in life.
Are you ready to fly?
It can be overwhelming when you think about leaving the comfort of your specialist role, even when you dream about having something else to do that allows you to flex your creative generalist abilities instead of boring your brains out every day.
This is where I come in! Together we can figure out your creative generalist skills and sweet spot, the fields you’re interested in working in, and how to use those skills to land your dream job!
Shift Shock and How to Avoid It
Have you ever had this experience: you work so hard to get a new job, maybe even shift careers, and then the minute you’re in your new role, you regret it so completely that you want to run away? Or throw up right where you are… Whatever you feel, it’s so intense that you are left in this catatonic state.
Well, that’s “shift shock.”
According to this article by The Muse, 72% of workers have experienced shift shock. Part of the issue is that we have built up this idea that the grass is greener on the other side of this role or career, and then we feel either a wee bit let down once we get there, or overwhelmed by the unfamiliarity of it.
There is a lot to be said about the comfort of our old roles. While we may have not enjoyed them so much and there was a reason we wanted to switch careers, we were comfortable in them - both the everyday tasks and the complaining about how we wanted more or something different. Then suddenly you have the role you wanted and everything is new. We don’t know what tasks to get done first, how to navigate the new social scenarios, and what kind of clothes to wear to work every day (especially true if you work from home).
The darker side of shift shock is when you start a new job and realize your employers have lied about, or didn’t explain, the expectations they have for your role, which leads you to accept the position under the wrong precepts. This is even harder when you are switching to a remote role where conveying expectations is entirely dependent on an interviewer who is not used to the virtual reality you’re entering into. Company culture is also difficult to discern prior to starting when the role is completely online, making shift shock even more apparent and uncomfortable.
So now that we know what shift shock is - and how common it is - the question becomes, how the heck do we avoid it?
State your expectations. When you go for your interview, or start your first day, it is important that you are very clear about your expectations of this role. That means you lay out the exact responsibilities you believe you will have, what your working hours will be like, and describe your work-from-home policy (yes, that’s right, you’re allowed to define how you want to work!) to the interviewer/onboarder so that they can clarify if it fits with theirs. If everyone is starting on the same page, there will be less shift shock.
Ask about employee retention. A lot of what creates a great company culture is how the company tries to retain its employees. What do they do that helps their employees? How do they build trust with their employees? Ask those questions and make sure you like the answers. If you don’t, it’s probably going to be harder to adjust to the role.
Meet other employees on LinkedIn. Whether you’re in the interview process or it's your first week, getting information from fellow employees is incredibly important. Networking and reaching out to them on LinkedIn is one way to learn about the company culture and what the company expects of them. If you find out that you are salaried for a 40-hour week, but they expect you to work before and after work, and on the weekends, without overtime, and that doesn’t align with what you want out of the role (or with how life should be), you can jump ship right there.
Don’t be afraid to leave. If you find out that the company misled you about their expectations, it’s okay to leave. While you might have left your prior job, you can still create an exit strategy for this one. I know we are all used to the notion that we must keep a job for at least a year to make our resumes look better, but the reality is, having good mental health is more important.
Moreover, if you think the shift shock is simply a byproduct of your own expectations not being met, but you know in your gut it will get better as soon as you're comfortable, then just work on getting comfortable. The steps above will still be beneficial - especially if you are trying to meet your co-workers and get to know them.
Remember, it’s totally normal to feel shift shock. You’ve just campaigned your way out of something you’re familiar with for something new. It’s like being a kindergartner on their first day. You’ve heard so much about this cool place called school and all the things you will experience. You’re excited and ready to start, but then on the first day, you cry at the classroom door because it’s all so overwhelming. Within two weeks, you’re feeling better and love your teacher and classmates.
Give it some time, but then again, don’t be afraid to switch again if you really know in your heart of hearts you’re not where you want to be. Because you know what, you’re allowed to do that.
Worried about shift shock?
The idea of shift shock can be intimidating - probably more intimidating than actually shifting roles is to you. But not only is it a completely normal feeling, there are things you can do to avoid it.
I help my clients identify the roles they would like to try out to build the lives they want. Part of this is getting clear on the type of company they want to work for. When they enter the interviewing stage, we walk through all the questions they should ask so that they can avoid shift shock when they get the role. If you’re ready to start, I can help!
I’ve outgrown my career. What should I do next?
Most high-achieving (and creative) employees end up outgrowing their jobs and careers rather quickly. Part of the problem is that we pick up tasks easily and once we find ourselves bored with the work, it can be hard to motivate ourselves to stick with it. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When you outgrow your work, it just means it’s time for something new.
Think about it! When you were little, you wanted to do so many different things with your life. At one point, I wanted to be a sea witch, a librarian, and an astronaut all at once. I dreamt of wearing a voluminous black dress, with giant black rimmed glasses, holding a copy of a Tale of Two Cities, while floating in the International Space Station’s anti-gravity. If you ask any five-year old, they don’t think of one job they want to do forever. They come up with six or seven and those six or seven change from day to day - sometimes minute to minute.
We only think we want one career for our entire lives because that’s what society tells us. You go to school for a dozen years, get pressured into picking a major in college for a life you kind-of-sort-of want, and then come out of college and immediately start climbing a corporate ladder. At some point, you get so bored with it all that you start thinking about what life would look like if you’d made different choices - or perhaps if you had actually *made* a choice..
Many people will live their entire lives wondering what if, but I’m willing to wager that if you’re here reading this blog, you might be ready to make the shift. And you can and are allowed to make the shift. It’s okay to have two - or even ten - different careers in your lifetime. According to this article, the average person has twelve different jobs and almost 30% of people have changed their careers post college.
Now that you know you can make a career transition, you’re probably wondering how. (It always comes down to “how” doesn’t it?) Here’s how:
Why? Start by thinking about why you want to change your current career. Maybe you aren’t being challenged enough. Or maybe the industry is dying out. Whatever your feelings are, they’re valid. My first career was in the web industry, and while that is not a dying industry by any means, I felt like I was choking on the corporate ladder. I came out of college and climbed and climbed, never letting myself think about what I actually wanted and why I wanted it. When I finally sat down and asked myself why I wanted to transition, the answer was simple: I wanted to be happier. I wanted to live my life on my rules and my terms and no longer worry about what everyone else wanted for me.
What other careers are you interested in? Think about what your end goal is. If you were to change careers, how would you achieve that end goal? If you don’t change your career now, will 80 year-old-you have regrets about your choices? Once you’ve thought this through, write down the steps you think you will need to accomplish to make future you proud. When I was trying to figure out how to transition from my web agency into my coaching career, I was so scared to take the first step, but I knew if I didn’t shake things up, I would forever regret it.
When can you make the change? Career transitions usually don’t happen overnight. Especially if you value the company you work for. A good thing to think about is when you can transition out of your role and into your new career. What life events, or career events, will inhibit that change? How can you address those so they don’t affect you?
How can your current skills help you in the career you want? Your ability to get a job, or start a business, in a new industry or role, will rely a lot on your past experience and current knowledge base. Figuring out how to use those skills, whether they are hard or soft skills, in a new arena is half the battle to convince your mind that this transition is possible. For instance, if you are a trained cosmetologist who would like to move into remote bookkeeping for hair salons, you can use your knowledge of how hair salons work to help them manage their finances. If you aren’t super secure in your bookkeeping abilities, you can always take a short certification course to get up to speed and support your resume.
Start networking. Networking is a great way to connect with people in the industry or roles you are hoping to transition into. They can offer advice and guidance to help you move along that new path more easily. Also, they might know of job openings and be able to vouch for your abilities when you apply. A lot of the people I first met when I transitioned to coaching had made similar changes earlier in their lives. Some of them have even become my mentors and helped me feel empowered by my transition.
It can be super scary to transition careers, but the reality is, if your gut is telling you it’s time, it’s definitely time. Think about what your future self would be proud of you for doing, how this transition will positively impact their life, and then go for it! And if you need a little help, book one of my free 30-minute chats. You never know what we might come up with!
Scared to change your career?
Changing careers can be a scary prospect, but it can also be an empowering one. You are making the choice to leave behind what you are comfortable doing, for a career that is more challenging and fulfilling.
I help my clients discover their passions and find work that aligns with those passions. Together we will discover what it is you really want to be doing with this next part of your life and how to achieve those goals in a sustainable way. If you're ready to change your career, I can help you get there!
The Four Agreements and How They Can Help You Succeed In Business
Each morning, I recite the Four Agreements (old Toltec Wisdom):
Be impeccable with your words.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Now, I wish I had come up with these incredibly simple - but powerful - agreements, but I did not. Don Miguel Ruiz published The Four Agreements in 1997. Growing up in rural Mexico, Don Miguel was the son of a Toltec faith healer, and the grandson of a Toltec shaman - or nagual. Despite growing up in such a faith based culture, he went on to practice neurosurgery in Tijuana until he was involved in a near-fatal car crash. He left medicine and began to study life and humanity through the lens of the Toltec teachings.
According to The Four Agreements, when we are born, we learn all the rules and values our family and society have. They impose these rules and values onto us through a punishment and reward system - like how we train animals, for example dogs. Where our true nature is to love and explore life, we learn what others think we should be and are forced to change. If we do the “right” thing, we are rewarded. If we do the “wrong” thing, we are punished.
Over the course of our lifetimes, we are domesticated into who society and our family think we should be and we lose that ability to be truly happy.
In the years since first reading this book, I’ve started each day reciting The Four Agreements to remind myself of who I am - the real me. And to practice strong tools to stand in the world in an authentic and anchored way. While this has helped me in my personal life tremendously, it has also helped me in my professional life.
When we strive to be our authentic self in business, we are better capable of building businesses and having careers that fulfill us and the people around us. By practicing The Four Agreements in my business, I’ve been able to alter the way I do business. Instead of focusing on the outcome of my sales efforts, I focus on the outcome of my words and thoughts, and how they affect my clients in a positive way, which ends up affecting my sales.
1. Be impeccable with your words.
This first agreement is probably the hardest to do, but to complete the other agreements, you have to start with this one. It is the foundation of the four agreements. Your words are a reflection of who you are. If you speak rudely, if you cut people with your words, or don’t follow through with your promises, how will anyone be able to trust what you say? Clients, employees, and consultants will retreat from working with you.
If you say you’re going to do something, you better do it - even if it costs you. Prove your worth by proving your integrity.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
When you’re impeccable with your words, you don’t have to take anything personally. If you have a client, business partner, or family member that’s working against you, you might feel like giving up. But if you know that when you say something you’re going to do it, even if it costs you, and you don’t take what they’re saying personally, nothing can stop you from achieving what you dream of. People who don’t know they’ve been domesticated don’t know that their actions are a result of the rules and values placed on them. But you do know. You can see through those rules and values and identify what you want out of life.
You know the rules and values that govern you. Don’t let the words and actions of others take away from that.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
I don’t know about you, but this one is really hard - especially when you’re neurodivergent like me and don’t necessarily interpret situations correctly. It can be especially hard not to make assumptions when you’re close to that person - but those are the moments it’s even more important not to.
If someone in your life acts a certain way, take it for what it is. Don’t read into it. If your contract client asks for a rewrite of their social media posts, don’t assume you did it wrong. Maybe they just wanted it to reflect something that just happened. When someone has to cancel an important call with you, don’t assume they are trying to get out of it to be malicious.
Making assumptions about a certain situation generally just leads to further assumptions. Be assertive. Be impeccable with your words and ask the person outright what they mean if you need clarification (something neurodivergents often do).
4. Always do your best.
If you’re impeccable with your words, don’t take anything personally, and don’t make assumptions, you will be doing your best. As long as you’re always striving to do your best, you can’t fault yourself for where you land. If you’ve been working hard to launch a new business and it doesn’t take off on day one, you still did your best and that’s more important than the outcome of that day.
So how does this really relate to business? Business is all about making connections and promises. You’re trying to get someone to buy something from you, to work with you, to trust you and to enter into a relationship with you - coaching, courses, nail polish, etc. They have to trust you to buy something. For instance, let’s say you sell contract templates for small businesses. When you’re advertising your offering, your words better reflect exactly what you’re promising. The templates have to be useful for people in specific states or countries, or the customer will accuse you of lying. If someone buys your template package and there’s a problem, you have to show up and help, even if it costs you profits. It will save you money in the long run because your reputation will be intact.
Additionally, these four agreements will help you navigate your business, professional life, and personal life more easily. When you show up as someone who follows those principles, it will show. People will see it and your integrity and the quality of your work will have them come back for more.
Are you afraid to unlearn the rules?
Realizing that we are under a “spell” - as Don Miguel puts it - is the first step to realigning ourselves. But it can be hard to understand that while our parents and society want the best for us, the way they want us to get there isn’t the path we should be on.
I help my clients rationalize these polar opposite views, identifying what they actually want to be doing with their lives and what success looks like for them. Then we work together to uncover - and break - the rules and values placed upon them. You can achieve whatever you want out of life, no matter what your family and society has told you is acceptable. I can help you get there!